I just hang up the phone with Seo-Hi worried about what problems she had, then I remembered that I had to look for ji-yong. He wasn't the type to be alone while the party was quicking it inside. I had dicided to go back to where we left him waiting for that friend, if he wasn't there I was just going to assume that he left. I somehow wanted him to be there and join the party. I never regreted wanting something the way I did at that momemt. At first I thought it was just a random couple who wantd some privacy, but then the guy made eye contact with me ! I turned around in ambarassement and then ... I knew the guy ! I turned back, the guy was still looking, and I was right ... I knew him, in fact, I was looking for him. The Ji-yong I was worried about and looking for, was just fine making out with the "friend" he was expecting to come. I didn't know what to do, what to feel, was I shocked? disapointed ?... sad ? I stood there for 5 seconds not knowing how to react, what to do, when I heard someone call my name.

- "Hey there Chingu*" _{("chingu" means friend in korean)}

- "Ah, Jad ! I was looking for you. Can you give me a ride ? I kinda feel tired all of the sudden !"

- "Oh! are you okay?"

- "Yeah Yeah I'm fine. I just wanna go home."

- "Ok, wait for me here, I'll bring the car."

- "Nah that's fine, I'll wait outside."

Jad headed to the garage. I had to go throught the walk of shame. Ji-yong and his "friend" were right in the middle between the entery and the exit door. The making out session was over, ji-yong was lighting his marlboro, the girl was holding his arm and leaning on him. I had to walk past him and just ignore the scenery. He, on the other hand, didn't care less to stop the staring. I could feel his glare the whole 15 or 20 meters I had to cross. I had a quick look on the girl when I was walking down the stairs; she was the typical model with the long legs, skinny, fashionable, didn't seem like she cared about what was going on, or maybe too happy that she was hanging on his arms to notice anything.

One thing for sure, he either is born a cheater, or he no longer is with his girlfriend.

I went outside right on the moment Jad parked his car. I got in, closed the door and leaned on the window. Jad was being a complete gentlman and didn't ask any question, he put on some music and drove me home.

When I got home, I went straight to bed; I was tired but my mind kept running non stop memories, not pleasant ones. The day I saw him with that girl right infront of my workplace, him acting all distant and cold, the breaking up day ...

I must have fallen asleep anyway; I woke up at 11 a.m by the sound of my ringing phone. I received a text from Seo-Hi saying that she woudln't be able to make it for lunch today and suggested we'd reschedule it for after the holidays. Oh ! yes ... it was Xmas season already ...  

I spent the day alone at home, relishing the slow pace of time, the music playing and surprisinly I even enjoyed doing the laundry and the dishes, and there were tones of dishes to do ! 

It was 8pm and I have just finished all the house work I had to do, I was deciding which movie to watch before I go to sleep when I received a phone call from the company. At first I didn't want to take it, I was finally having some alone time for a while, and then the phone kept ringing and ringing so I just gave up and picked up the phone.

-"Hello Kim Sa-Ra ssi, this is Choi manager. We need you tomorrow at Incheon Airport at 7am. We're going abroad for the MV shooting. Don't worry about the flight ticket it's all been taken care of."

-"euuh ..."

-"See you tomorrow Kim Sa-Ra ssi, don't forget... 7am!"

And he hang up ... I knew I shouldn’t have answered the phone !

So what know ? No movie ? And I need to pack up ?!

The next two days where HECTIC ! Check ins and boarding and back to hotel check ins, luggages, tones of luggages meetings meetings aaand meetings with ji-yong ! You can't ask for more for a christmas wish !

It was Tuesday 2pm and we were having a meeting in the staff hotel room, but the managers where not there ! so it was just me before ji-yong came in.

-"Where is everyone?" he asked

-"Don't know" I answered

He sat on the sofa and started dialing his phone probably to call the manager and apparently no one was picking up. We spent about 5 minutes in a complete awkward situation where I was standing by the door looking at the window and he was sitting on the sofa staring at me ! I didn't want to make eye contact with him especially when I was tired, hungry, frustrated and completely mad at him !

-“Why did you do that?” he asked

-“Did what?”

-“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about!”

-“What?”

What the heck was he talking about?

-“That Jad guy, it’s him right?”

-“What’s with Jad now?”

-“Pff … you know what? Forget it! I thought we could talk about this like mature adults but apparently that’s not the case!”

-“As you like …” I said rolling my eyes and leaving the room. “You know what too? I have something I wanted to ask for a while now.” I couldn’t just go, the painful memories where more present than ever so I had to ask, even if it was in the most brutal way I could say it.

-“…” he was just staring at me with a “now-what?” face.

-“Is it a hobby of yours or you just can’t control yourself? What you did at the party … what you did …”

I was going to say “what you did the last time that ended our relationship” but he just jumped at me screaming:

-“WHO are you to judge ME!!”

I was shocked I didn’t know what to say … one second I was at the door the other I was facing Jiyong pushed at the wall, his eyes were shooting razors and his arms were squashing my forehand.

-“D … Do you mind letting go of my hand!” I was trying to save face by being sarcastic.

It took him a split second to shift his expression from crazy mad to “whatever”. My arms were killing me and I think I had a bump on the back of my head.

-“You’re sick!  You disgust me!” I threw at him these words as if they’d hurt him …

I left the room and walked down the corridor as calmly as I could. I reached the elevator and got in. I don’t know when and how but my body started spazzing and my tears couldn’t stop falling. Luckily I was able to get control over the overflowing feels by the time the elevator got to the ground. Tears were still falling but no one would pay attention unless they were close enough. I walked out of the lobby and kept walking in the empty streets. There were some girls and boys sitting next the hotel’s entry, I guess they figured out already were he was staying!

I kept walking, I honestly didn’t know where I was or where I was going but I could find my way back. After a 15 minutes’ walk I was able to think clearly. My eyes were sure swallowed and were burning but the tears had stopped already. I was now in a cute calm neighborhood. I could see some cute coffee shops from now and then. There was this cupcake coffee shop; small and cozy so I decided to sit there and spend some time on my own. These two days were crazy. I needed a break, from life …

The music playing in this small place was so sweet, the coffee so warm the cupcakes so delicious I almost forgot about every nuisance in my life.

After only 30 minutes I found myself smiling and humming to the music playing.

I waited a few more minutes before I decided to leave. I continued my walk and I started to notice more and more Korean restaurants and stores. I must have reached Korea town or its equivalent in here. I was standing in front of a gallery’s window reading the artist name and stuff; killing time … when Choi manager stood by my side.

-“What are you doing here? He said

-“ Hmm? Ah! Nothing, just wandering around, you? ”

-“I’m having a late lunch with some friends, wanna join?”

-“Oh! No no thank you”

-“Well as you wish, see you! “he said before he left

I kept walking for what seemed to be a 15 minutes’ walk and then I past a lovely park, I wanted to go in but I had to go back. After all I came here to work not to play the tourist.

I decided to go back the same road I took, last thing I needed was to get lost!

I must have took the wrong turn or something because it was indeed the “Korea town” only it was more crowded place! Or maybe not… I wasn’t lost … I was found!

How can I not recognize him when he is followed by a bunch of fans in the “verge” of losing their minds!

I was thinking of a way to “rescue” him when he started running my way. He took my hand and dragged me along. We kept running for 5 minutes until we lost the fans. We were in a narrowed alley my heart was beating so fast I thought I was gonna die! I didn’t work out in ages and now I was running following the pace of a runner!

We were both breathless, only he was standing still and I was leaning on the wall waiting for the light _{(reference to death and the crossing over)}. A couple of teenagers were coming our way. I panicked didn’t know what to do, I tried to drag jiyong from this but apparently he had another idea in mind. He pushed me on the wall –again! It’s a habit …- and leaned his face to mine.

What the heck was he doing?

The only thing I could do at the moment was to turn my face and try to push him, but he was stronger than I was. He muttered a “stay still” while putting his hoody on.

We stayed like that until the alley was quiet.

Those few seconds felt like an eternity, I didn’t know what to think. I was breathless, panicking and … I felt weird! Part of me was enjoying the situation. I gathered all the will and strength left in me and pushed him as hard as I could, kinda like a payback for the wall incident earlier.

He looked at me amused.

-“What the hell were you thinking? If you were thinking in the first place!” I said trying to lower my voice; I didn’t want any more fans chasing after him.

He didn’t answer me, he just took my hand and kept walking. I couldn’t resist anymore, plus he was holding the hand he just destroyed back at the hotel.

An hour later we were in the middle of a quiet neighborhood. I had no idea where we were, he took all the short cuts possible … he must know the city like the back of his hand … well it is his favorite city.

My anger was gone. I didn’t even realize we were still holding hand. When I tried to free my hand he tightened his hold and I just didn’t care anymore what he says or does. I didn’t know what game he was playing and I sure didn’t want to know. A few minutes later we were in front of a Café, not the cute type or the traditional type. It was dark with heavy decorations and a comfortable feel to it.

-“It’s my favorite place in here” he said while going inside.

We sat at the farthest table at the corner. The waiter came in to say Hi to Jiyong and asked if he wanted the usual.

-“I just want water” I said to the waiter

-“No, she’ll have the same” said Jiyong back ignoring what I said.

We sat there not talking. Jiyong was checking his phone and I kept looking at him in my attempt to make him talk. I wasn’t going to talk unless he did first; if he dragged me all the way here than he must have something to say and I’m willing to give him that … the chance to explain himself. I needed closure.

10 minutes has passed and he was still playing or whatever with his phone. The waiter was here with two Caramel Macchiato and a cup of water. I smiled at the waiter as a way of saying thank you.

-“Your favorite …” said Jiyong looking at the cup of coffee. “or is it not anymore?” he added studying my pokerface.

-“What do you want Jiyong?”  I said in a sight.

-“That’s the first time in a while that you called my name”

I tried to ignore him; I put sugar in my coffee and drank the cup of water in one go waiting for the coffee to get coller. I put the cup slowly but also firmly to show him I’m being impatient.

-“Look Sara”, he said while looking at the table “you gotta cut me some slack! It takes a lot to do this”

-“To do what?” I said “I don’t know where you’re going with this?”

-“I want to go back to a few months ago … 3? 4 months?”

-“Almost 4” I said coldly “why?”

-“Can you explain to me what happened?”

-“You’re kidding me right?” I couldn’t believe it! How could he ask such question!

-“Why are so surprised? You didn’t want me to ask about how you just ended up things …”

-“Ended up?” I cut him off before he finished his sentence “I’ll tell you what happened” It was hard enough for me to see him yet again to talk about this and keep a calm low voice; I took a sip of my macchiato and continued:

-“To make a long story short, you were cheating on me, I found out, I left in silence, didn’t make any fuss. What part of this don’t you understand? You wanted me to make a drama out of it? Is this why you were making out with your girlfriend right in front of my work place?

-“HaHaHaHaHa” jiyong started laughing, he was laughing so hard it was creepy!

-“Oh I see you’re enjoying your masterpiece!” I added

“-Cut it off already” he regained his seriousness

The atmosphere in the café suddenly changed … the quiet place was playing music, and not just any music …

-“Korean music, see? Just for you!” said the waiter from across the café with a huge smile on his face.

Lim chang jun “Just another guy” song was playing

[Lyrics]

Forgetting you is a bit hard for me right now
No matter how much I resent you, I start tearing up without knowing

I long for that voice, I miss you so much I can’t even get up
Time is telling me to forget but your face gets even clearer

That day, you were going to tell me you were leaving me
But I guess you couldn’t bear to say it after seeing my pitiful shoulders

I long for that voice, even the nagging
I even long for the cruel break up on that day

Without even the common break-up words like “be well” or “be happy”
We couldn’t even say our last goodbyes, I don’t even know why you left me

The other half of your life that you left behind is me
I need to forget those words but it gets even clearer
Your voice is still so clear

Jiyong and I didn’t say a word while the song was playing. How could the lyrics fit so well to the situation? We both just sat there dazed, we would drink our caramel macchiato from time to time.

The song stopped but Jiyong was just not here anymore, not physically; he was sitting there but his mind was traveling far beyond.

I called the waiter asking for the bill, I paid and stood up.

-“Let’s go” I said in a neutral tone “you still have work to be done”

He just followed me without saying a word. He didn’t say anything. He was leading the way since I didn’t know where we were.

A few minutes has passed before he finally spoke.

-“Look, can you just tell me what I did so wrong that you had to cheat? Did you think I wouldn’t take it if you just broke up with me? So you decided to cheat?”

-“Aren’t you tired of this already?” I said and stood still so he turns back and face me.

He turned back, stood a few steps away from le and looked me right in the eyes.

“I AM tired of this! That is why I want to get it over with” he said in what seemed to be … despair?

-“Then just admit it! It’s as easy as this!” I said “tell me what I did so wrong for you to come all the way to my work place and make out with your “new” girlfriend! And why in hell do you think I cheated on you?”

-“Look Young-mi isn’t my girlfriend, she is my best friend, and I only called her there and pretended to make out to make it easier for you to break up with me! and I don’t think you cheated, I know you did; I saw you with him when you’d blew me off saying you’re with a “friend” !

-“Wait what?” I said confused “if she is not your girlfriend as you say and you did it so I could break up with you because you think I was cheating, than why were so distant for the past few times we could hang out together?”

-“Because you cheated!”

-“For god’s sake ! When was that? Am I bipolar or something? Was I cheating on you with my work and studies ?”

-“Don’t play that act on me!” he said undignified

-“I am NOT!” I screamed “wait …” I took a few steps back “you think I was going out with Jad, don’t you?” The pieces started falling in place; that’s why he would always bring Jad into the conversation

-“I think? I SAW you!” he said and I could see he was confused

-“No you didn’t, you only saw what you wanted to see! I told you a friend of mine was having some serious issues and he needed me by his side! How could you think I was cheating on you? You know I would have never done that!” I was starting to get mad and offended.

-"You thought I was cheating too! Remember?” he said back

-“Yes, because I saw you with her, and because you were distant, and because she was prettier …” I hated to say that but it was the truth …

-“And you were no? Not prettier?” he said

-“Let’s just forget about this … it was clearly a misunderstanding, a lack of trust and confidence so …” I said walking past him, I kind of knew where we were now; we somehow ended up near the park I passed earlier.

“Wanna go to the park? I know you like this kind of places” he said while slightly putting his hand on my waist and pushing me towards the gates.

We went inside the park, and sat on a bench at the edge of the lake. The sky was yellowish; the sunset was only a few minutes away, so we decided to wait till the sunset to continue our walk. We were talking, but the atmosphere was lighter, I felt more comfortable being next to him, sure there was a lot of confusion in my mind, but I felt peaceful.  Jiyong was looking for something in his pockets; he had a cigarette in his hands and was looking for the lighter.

-“Are you going to ruin the moment with your smoke” I said jokingly

-“Araseo Araseo!” He said putting back the cigarettes in his pocket “You always have to say something to prevent me from smoking!” _{(*araseo means “ok” or “I know”)}

-“I do it because I care about your health … and mine” I said sticking out my tongue.

-“See!! And I thought for a split second that you were honest about caring about me” he said faking a pout.

From that moment on, we started talking as if nothing ever happened. It was like our first dates back when we first met. It has always been easy to talk to him, sure we fought a lot but we’d enjoy our conversations.

We walked back to the hotel. We would talk about silly things than go back to talk about his albums concept then back to 5-years-old children talk.

It’s funny how the day started like hell and now I was feeling … good ? 

It was 1am already and I was in my bed, we had a long night working but we made some progress, tomorrow we’ll have less work to do.

 

***************

Hello =D Merry Christmas !! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, here is the song I listened to while writing this chapter ! 

Ah, comments juseayo chingu deul ! Pleaaase feedback