4 Months Earlier.

My alarm rang, begging me to pull myself out of bed and go for my usual early morning run. I slid my hand out from underneath the warm covers as the piercing shrill filled my ears and slammed down the snooze button. My hand retreated back in the comfort of my bed and I closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to reclaim me. I snuggled down deeper in the covers, my head nestling against the pillow. The heavy silence around me felt suffocating and I struggled to find comfort again.  When sleep didn't arrive, I gave into my brain's demands for food and dragged myself downstairs, relieving my hunger pains with a banana. Glancing outside, I could see the first rays of the sun rising up to puncture the darkness, emitting radiant orange hues through the blinds. I felt myself draw in a breath as I took in the magnificent site and let the soft amber glow pour onto my face, leaving a kiss of warmth on my illuminated skin.

I could tell this was going to be a good day.

 After changing into appropriate running gear I hurried back downstairs, not bothering to write my Mother a note, knowing she'd still be at the laboratory where she was employed as one of the head scientists. Outside the chilly air caressed my skin, making my hair stand on end as a shiver forced its way up my body. Ignoring the slight coldness, I trudged on and began jogging slowly down the desolate street. The icy wind whipped at my dark hair and I was thankful it was held back in a ponytail. The street was disturbingly silent, aside from a few stubborn birds but the rush that filled me as I ran stole all my attention. I focused my energy on keeping my breathing steady and my movements even. The world spins around me, a blur, as my feet launch me forward. I began running when I was a child, but only officially became a member of the cross-country team in my second year of high school. Before my parents’ divorce, when they fought nonstop, I would escape through a gap in the wooden fence enclosing our back yard and run. At first I didn’t really have a destination, I just ran, loving the feeling of freedom it gave me. But overtime, it became a common occurrence and I developed routes I would take each time. They weren’t anything particular, just streets I liked the look of, or shops I liked to stop at for an ice cream. But they all went to the same place: the local park. With just a simple swing set and a picnic table, the park wouldn’t seem like much of an area of enjoyment, even to a child. However, the park became a safe haven for me. It was the place I would go whenever I was upset or even just wanted time alone. I barely visit it now, the subtle details of the decomposing leaves scattered over the compact ground, and the chipped paint on the swing set still remain clear in my mind. As I advanced further along the path, I glanced at the closed houses, a sudden sense of isolation hitting me. I quickened my pace as the feeling grew more and more uncomfortable but was forced to stop and catch my breath when it became rugged and uneven. Feeling a of warmth pass over me, I looked up to see the sun peek out above a row of houses, and pushed loose strands of hair off my sweating forehead.  I caught a glimpse of my watch and cursed at the time it told me. I'm going to be late, I thought with a groan. With one last glance at the mesmerising light that was now spreading across the horizon, swallowing up the darkness of dawn, I turned and ran back in the direction I came from. 

"Eunmi?"

I looked up with wide eyes and stared at the source of the call, there is only one person who calls me by my full name. Hundreds of memories flooded my mind as nostalgia overwhelmed me but I quickly discarded them with a shake of my head. Jang Hyunseung – it had to be. Hyunseung had been my childhood friend - best friend, I suppose. We met on a fresh day of spring, when the flowers were just in bloom. Back then, we had an amazing garden, adorned with daffodils, tulips, and pansies, just to name a few. Every day gave rise to new colours and scents. My Mother was an enthusiast and tended to her precious flowers regularly. It was on one of the rare times I was baited into helping my mother in her maze of colour that I met Hyunseung. He was bounding down our street with tears in his eyes and a small bouquet of daisies in hand. Curious, I asked him what was wrong. He told me about how he had been found picking daisies to deliver to his Mother’s grave by several kids older than him. They had laughed at him, knocking the small buds from his hands, sending them flying. Hyunseung had scrambled over the ground trying to collect them all again, causing more outbursts from his attackers. As a child full of confidence, I decided that I would go after the bullies and show them who’s boss. I, apparently, didn’t realise that defeat was a possibility and was completely distraught when I was shown the same hostility. Hyunseung and I both returned to my Mother, covered in dirt and tears. After that we hung out almost every day and were practically inseparable. We remained that close until high school when I joined the cross country team and made new friends. Slowly, but surely, we stopped hanging out. I then began ignoring his texts and calls and our friendship was over just as quickly as it started. I’ve always felt bad for this, but in a way it’s his own fault for not making new friends himself.

"Hyunseung", I gasped, letting out a deep breath I didn’t even realise I was holding.

"Want a ride?", Hyunseung tilted his head, his messy hair, in long due of a cut, falling to the side. I swear he hasn’t changed it at all since middle school. To ride with him would practically be social suicide but I knew I would be late if I didn’t accept. I nodded reluctantly and climbed into the passenger seat. I watched curiously as Hyunseung adjusted the side mirror and put the car into gear. I’d always wanted to learn to drive but with my Mother so busy, I didn’t have anyone to teach me. Hyunseung chuckled at how intrigued I was. His entertainment annoyed me.

"Want a turn?", he raised a brow daringly. My eyes widened and I shook my head, forcing a grimace, fighting the urge to say yes.

"No", I replied, a little too quickly and waved my hands in front of me, making Mason chuckle even more. I felt a surge of anger bubble up, turning away from him in disgust.

"Alright, alright."

I hugged my bag to my chest and sat back in the seat, my head lolling to the side as I tried to conceal myself as much as possible. I caught Hyunseung sneaking glances at me and I looked at him questioningly. 

"Yes?", I asked, checking my teeth in the mirror. 

"How have you been lately?", Hyunseung asked, keeping his eyes his eyes on the road, his face more serious than before. It had been months since we’d exchanged words, probably a good thing.

"Huh?", I blinked. "Oh, good." 

"Hmmm.", Hyunseung nodded and an awkward tension soon formed. I willed the drive to be over already and I got my wish when the car slowly pulled up to school. I spotted a group of my friends waving and calling to me. I started over to them almost forgetting to thank Hyunseung for giving me a ride. I turned around and headed back in his direction with a brisk walk. He was still sitting in his car and  he brightened slightly as I approached.

"Hello again.", Hyunseung grinned.

"Hi. I just wanted to say thanks.", I gave him a tight lipped smile back. "For the ride.", I added when I saw the confused look on his face. 

"Oh.. Right.", Hyunseung mumbled, losing his enthusiasm. 

"Uhh.. We should get to class", I blurted, eager to return to my friends. I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for a reply and Hyunseung simply nodded, busying himself with his backpack. I shrugged and ran back to my friends, preparing for my first class, feeling Mason's gaze on me the entire time.

∞

 

First class was English, which I shared with my best friend, Sooyoung. 

The teacher was late, as usual, so the class was chatting and buzzing with life. I sat down next to Sooyoung in my seat and began to take out my books. 

"I saw you got driven to school by that nobody. What's his name?", Sooyoung started, although I wasn't really paying that much attention. 

"Huh?", I blinked. "Oh, Hyungseung. Jang Hyunseung", I mumbled, regaining some focus.

"Yeah.", She scrutinised my face for any emotions I may have failed to hide. "So anything you want to share?".

"No", I answered vacantly, shrugging my shoulders. If she ever found out about my previous friendship with him, who knows what she’d do? We‘d been friends for nearly three years now – we met just after I joined the cross-country team. Even so, popularity was a force to be reckoned with at this school and I needed to stay on the upper end of the social ladder. I gave a small smile to an unfamiliar face as they passed my desk and Ally snapped her fingers in my face impatiently. She opened preparing to speak again when the teacher walked in. Sooyoung glared at me and I cowered back in my seat, knowing I would get another interrogation later. The rest of the class settled and before long every student was in their seat and ready to start the lesson. English went by quickly, with me zoning in and out throughout. It had never been my favourite subject, but I wasn’t bad at it. Unlike Sooyoung, who had to pay full attention in order to just pass. I knew not being able to harass me about Mason would be painful for her and, as mean as it sounds, that gave me comfort.

After English, the rest of my classes went by pretty uneventfully and I headed out the door towards the school gate. 

"Eun!", I heard someone call out my name and the light padding of footsteps as they trailed steadily after me. I turned around just as Sooyoung reached my side, looking animated

"Have you heard?", she asked excitedly, hopping from foot to foot. I raised my brow questioningly and she sighed before continuing. "The new guy from our English class is hosting a party tomorrow and everyone's invited!", she almost leaped with glee. I chuckled and rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm.

"Cool.", I said nonchalantly with no intention of going. I had been to a few parties before, but never really got into them. Loud music and drunken teens wasn’t exactly my idea of fun.

"Yeah! But we have to get new outfits", Sooyoung sighed dreamily, dragging me to her car which was parked nearby.

"I'm not going", I said, escaping from her grasp.

"What?", She gasped exasperatedly. Typical Ally. I leaned back lazily on the side of her car and pretended to check my nails, not bothering to reply. "You gonna give me a ride, or not?"

"Fine", Sooyoung harrumphed, taking her seat in front of the steering wheel. "But you're still coming shopping me with.", I sighed in acknowledgement, a light chuckle lingering on my tongue at her insistence and slid in next to her anyway.
Sooyoung drove us to the biggest shopping complex in town. I watched the large, over-flared building in awe as I followed Sooyoung through the towering, glass-panelled front doors, pretending not to notice her growing excitement. Inside, the mall was even bigger than its exterior showed. Light filtered in through the large windows that the eastern wall, filling the mall with a comfortable warmth. Around us, swarms of people rushed around to get their shopping. Stores of all kinds lined the interior; shoe stores, clothing stores, cosmetic stores, jewellery stores, accessory stores. None that sparked my interest but I still admired the advanced architecture.

Sooyoung dragged me around from store to store, around us, people swarming to get their shopping. I had never really much liked crowds so I stuck close to Sooyoung. It seemed like forever that we had been mindlessly walking until, finally, Sooyoung found one that she liked. The store wasn't very big, but it was crammed with dresses of all different colours, styles and occasions. Shaking with glee, Sooyoung nearly leaped around the shop, grabbing dresses and rushing to the changing room to try them on. I wandered around aimlessly, bored, and stopped briefly when I noticed a black, lace A-line dress. It was slim-fitting around the torso and flared out at the hips. Although it was cute, I had never worn anything that short. I was about to continue strolling around the store when Sooyoung came out of the changing rooms just in time to notice I had taken interest in the dress.
"Oh! It's adorable!", Sooyoung brought her hands to , trying to conceal her smile. "It'll be perfect for the party!"
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. " I told you, I'm not going."
"Yes, you are!", Sooyoung grabbed the dress from the rack and took it, with the other dresses she had picked out for herself, to the cashier. I folded my arms and huffed in disagreement, tapping my foot impatiently. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get out of this now.
After shopping for another hour, Sooyoung finally let me go home. Not without shoes and accessories to go with the dress, though. At home, there was no sign of mum but I knew she had been here because she had left the television on, and the smell of cheap take-out still lingered the living room. I headed upstairs to drop off my bags. In my room, the sun was beginning to set and cast a deep auburn glow through the sky. I glanced at my clock, it was already 8pm. Sooyoung had kept me out for longer than intended and I was glad she had convinced me to eat something at the mall. Out my window, I had a clear view of the darkening sky and quiet street below. I closed my blinds, blocking out the dim light and threw myself on my bed.