Chapter 9 - A Journey to Identity

Three intense care unit facilities and four rooms were lit; three critical patients on fork roads of life and death and four patients restlessly recuperating. Lay was the first to heal to perfect health and assisted on Xiu Min’s operation, repairing his broken bones and ribs that punctured his lungs. Chan Yeol and Baek Hyun were carefully thawing Kai’s system from the severe freezing inside a cylinder tank of supplementary water for his body to absorb the medication. Lu Han had the hardest job of repairing Ja Young’s damaged brain cells while being careful not to tamper with her tender memories recently restored. Zhang Yin was gone and Hong Ja Young had returned, but she had yet to revive.

Su Ho suffered moderate dehydration and D.O’s body temperature dropped 15 degrees celsius from being so close to Kai’s ice prison. Chen had a concussion and the powerful sleeping draught Se Hun consumed was almost wearing off. Lay healed his bruises on his back and scabs on his chest two days earlier before helping Tao with Xiu Min.

The society was very quiet and anxious. Faction Twenty Eight mourned for their loss of their former leader, but Soo Jung managed to convince the other members that it wasn’t Ja Young’s fault. The Jo twins monitored the brain waves of the three critical members as the operations went on.

Song Ji Eun’s friends as well as herself waited by Ja Young’s emergency room, praying that she would recover safely, and B.A.P waited by Kai’s. Ji Eun held onto her knapsack containing the eleven Origin Runes. She was surprised at how full it was and how beautiful each colour of each one were gathered together. 

Eun Kwang and Sung Jae kept D.O company in his room. The youngest BTOB member leisurely folded paper flowers and arranged them beautifully by the bedside table.

“Would you care to tell us what happened to you?” Eun Kwang asked.

D.O sighed. “Things got a little complicated when we were heading up to the arctic. We recruited a new member to our faction. Yin, I mean Ja Young, and Se Hun separated from us and headed there on their own. I guess the rest of us were able to simmer down the damage before she could destroy the town.”

“She’s dangerous,” Eun Kwang warned. “She shouldn’t be part of this war if she can’t control her abilities.”

“If she actually got her memories back, then she’ll be more powerful than she has ever been. She’s gotten stronger, and I could tell.”

“I want to see her in action. I think I like her already,” Sung Jae mused. D.O gave him a look and he held his hands up.

“Not that way!”

“Good, because she’s already taken.”

“I just said I don’t like her that way!” Sung Jae didn’t like his teasing but D.O was still having fun with him.

Su Ho and Xiang Hua shared a comfortable silence together in his room. She had been learning how to use her abilities from him since he and Xiu Min were brothers. He had some knowledge of how to control cyrokinetic skills and trained her before the ordeal occurred.

The two were also accompanied by Seo Joo Hyun, a superior of Su Ho in Faction Nine. She was also one of the few people including Ja Young, Lu Han and Chan Yeol who personally knew about Xiu Min.

“I didn’t think I could have won at the time.”

“It is not your fault," she gently comforted as she held a napping Xiang Hua on her lap.

“He didn’t like to fight before he was taken. When I saw him in that state, with all the markings on his face, for a second, I couldn’t recognize him. I thought I saw a bloodthirsty monster.”

Seo Hyun chastely caressed his cheek. “It could not be helped. He is back and she is sure he will come to his senses.”

“Why are you always so optimistic?”

“She does not like to think negative thoughts.” She usually spoke in third person. “You should know by now she couldn’t bear to see you frown.”

“Thank you,” he said.

“Let your mind be at ease. The brother you once loved will return.”

“Are you sure?”

“Have faith, Su Ho. Have faith.”

Cold was all he thought about. It knawed at him from the inside out. He could literally feel his heart slowing down and almost stopping.

Earlier he saw flashbacks of his lost childhood memories until he had gained his abilities. He saw the day when he first joined the faction, when he and D.O became best friends. He saw a vision of how he and Ja Young met for the first time, and how he met Yin for the first time, when he held her and tried to stop her bleeding arm. He saw his time as a Boundless Daemen and risking his life for Yin to come to her senses at the museum.

When he saw moments he shared with Yin, he tried to fight his numbing pain. He couldn’t move. He wanted to. Chains of death were pulling him into darkness and he was fighting against them.

He called out Yin’s name but changed to Ja Young’s name. He wanted to hold her; to dry her tears; to kiss her. He needed her. 

From outside, Chan Yeol spotted his fingers twitch just the slightest. He called Baek Hyun over to increase the temperature and the air supply. They saw his pulse steadily getting stronger and they could hear his breathing getting louder through the mask.

“Sir! Ninety percent of his internal organs have been stabilized,” one of the healers reported.

“Good. It looks like he’ll be just fine,” Baek Hyun sighed in relief.

Ja Young watched as all her memories from her birth to the confrontation with Xiu Min. She wanted to cry for not being able to remember her own sister. Hye Young was suffering, dying. She couldn’t do anything to remember. What kind of a sister was she who couldn’t protect her, to keep her from harm, to send her to the society? She didn’t deserve to wake up again.

The moment when they were torn apart crushed her to defeat. She couldn’t move or look away. The image of her tear-stained cheeks scarred her mind.

Lu Han saw signs of strain in her brain. It was a bad place to go to while treating. He hovered his hands over her temple and tried to enter her mind. He opened his eyes and saw a black room. Behind him was a broken ornate full-length mirror that once held Hong Ja Young. He picked up a piece and saw a fraction of his reflection in it. He dropped it when he saw the bricks of the wall revolve and disappear into a park in a neighborhood. He saw a child sniffling at the swings. He squinted his eyes and realized that it was Ja Young, before she received her Argentic abilities. He knelt in front of her.

“Don’t cry, little one.” He soothed.

Seeing his shadow, she raised her head, hiccuping. “Who are you?”

“I am a friend.”

“But I don’t have any friends.”

“Of course you do, you’re just blind from all the good things around you.”

There was a pause when she gave a good sniff. He got a glance at a cut on her knee. He glanced at the sky, which was beautifully mixed with blue, red and orange.

“It’s getting late. A little girl like you shouldn’t be outside all alone. Dangerous things could happen.”

She bit her bottom lip in guilt and peered up at him. He gave a kind smile. “Let me take you home. You look tired.” He turned around and bent down. She leaned on top of him and coiled her small arms around his neck. He hooked her legs and stood up. He tried to be friendly by asking simple questions.

“How did you get hurt?”

“I fell,” she whimpered.

“Is it painful?”

“Not anymore.”

“Where is your home street?”

“Starfield Boulevard.”

“Do I keep going straight?”

“No, go left at Anaglacier Avenue.”

“Okay.” The rows of houses were more like a display of mansions at a museum. He never knew that Kuno was very high class and luxurious. He was amazed, and hoped that he could visit the country when he had the time.

“How old are you?”

“Six.”

“When’s your birthday?”

“Winter Solstice.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

“I have a twin sister.”

“What’s her name?”

“Hye Young. Hong Hye Young.”

“I haven’t asked yours yet. So what is your name?”

“Ja Young.” For some reason, he wanted to hear her say it instead of admitting to her that he already knew.

“You have a very tough name for a girl.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

They were about five streets away when Lu Han noticed that the sun was starting to set.

“What were you doing there?”

“I wanted to be alone.”

“That is unusual for someone your age. Did something happen?”

Ja Young hesitated before speaking, “My sister’s sick. We went to the doctor today and he told us.”

“I’m sorry. It must have been hard for you.”

He felt her chin quivering a little on his shoulder. “You must be really close to her.”

“I love her. She’s my sister.”

“I know. That’s good.”

He saw Starfield Boulevard up ahead and told her, “We’re almost home. Hang tight, alright?”

“Okay.” He felt her smile, which made him smile too. When they arrived in front of her house, he gently settled her down.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ja Young.”

“Thanks for taking me home. What’s your name, mister?”

“Lu Han.”

“Lu Han? I like that name.”

“Your name is yours, and my name is mine. It makes you who you are.” Ja Young gave a toothy grin as he walked her to the door. He pushed the doorbell and it opened to reveal a beautiful woman with a distressed look that quickly faded into a relieved one.

“Ja Young! Thank goodness you’re alright!” She picked her up and held her in her arms. She turned to him and bowed gratefully. “Thank you, young man for helping her.”

“I couldn’t bear to leave her alone.”

“How very considerate. Why don’t you stay for dinner.”

“It’s alright. I think she needs her family right now and I think it’s best to give you some privacy,” he politely refused.

“I see. Maybe next time she runs into you, you are welcome in the house.”

“I’ll be most honored.” He bowed in return as she took Ja Young inside. Lu Han, feeling his job was done, let himself disappear and open his eyes back in the emergency room. Her vitals had returned to normal, but she was nowhere close to regaining consciousness. He checked if there were any braincells he missed, but he was mildly surprised that they were all repaired. He wiped some sweat from his brow and ordered the team to finish.

When he watched them wheel her bed to her room, Ji Eun and her friends approached to him.

“Will she be alright?” She worriedly asked.

“The worst is over. All it take right now is her willpower to wake up.”

She sighed a relief as Hyo Sung reassuringly rubbed her friend’s shoulder.

“Miss Ji Eun, you may stay by her side. I give you permission.”

“Thank you,” she paused because she didn’t know his name.

“Lu Han.”

“Thank you, Lu Han.” She properly said and ran to catch up with Ja Young. From behind them, Baek Hyun and Chan Yeol tiredly waved.

“How did it go?”

“He’ll be fine. Did you see Lay yet?” Lu Han shook his head with a frown. They looked at each other in slight worry.

“Maybe something’s up with Xiu Min,” Baek Hyun muttered, loud enough for Lay to call out, “I have to disagree.” They whirled around to meet his same tired gaze.

“It was a lot of work, but he’ll come round.”

“We were strangely fortunate. I actually predicted that none of them would survive.” Lu Han admitted. He didn’t want to be so negative, but the circumstances were very severe that he barely saw much hope for Ja Young, Kai and Xiu Min. 

“Did everyone gather the Argents as planned?”

“Yeah,” Chan Yeol answered. “It wasn’t that hard, but Kai’s group got it pretty rough with the ambush.”

“We didn’t have much time to begin with and it will take a while for those three to be in perfect condition to join. I actually planned for those three to be in the front lines.” Lu Han said.

“I have no concern with Kai and Xiu Min, but Yi-” Lay paused midway to correct himself, “Ja Young is not strong enough to defeat Wu Fan. Back at the volcano, she would have died if I hadn’t thrown that knife at him.”

“If the last Rune and Hye Young is where he is, she’ll probably have enough motivation to train herself harder.”

Ja Young was sure that she was dreaming. She hardly recognized her own room for a second. She remembered the two beds that were a few feet apart from each other, and the array of medicine on top of the drawer - Hye Young’s medicine. She noticed that the beds were small and there were clumsy drawings taped to the walls. One side, Ja Young’s side, was blue and the other was white.

She opened the door and stopped herself seeing Hye Young’s child form quietly weeping at the top of the stairs, leaning on the banister. She heard her mumble, “Ja Young. Where did you go?”

She was about to call out to her, but remembered this day. It was when Hye Young was diagnosed with her supposed illness and Ja Young refused to believe it. She loved her too much to accept it. She remembered running away to the local playground until sunset when a mysterious man appeared and took her home.

Ja Young heard the door open from downstairs and Hye Young’s head perked up and waddled down the steps. “Ja Young,” she heard her mutter.

Quietly as she could, she soundlessly went down the stairs behind her.

“Where were you? We were so worried,” her mother asked, gently scolding.

“Hye Young is sick now. Mom and dad should take care of her more than me.” Ja Young heard her younger self speak so bitterly that she could taste it. She had an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach as she heard it repeat in her head.

“We would never do that. You are just as important to us like your sister.”

The six-year old Ja Young still didn’t look convinced.

“Ja Young!” Hye Young blurted out with tears running down her chubby face. She stumbled towards her and flung her arms around her waist.

“Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me alone!”

Hye Young’s sobs made both Ja Youngs cry too. “I love you, Ja Young! Don’t run away from me anymore, please. Promise me.”

The younger Ja Young willingly embraced her sister and choked out, “I promise, Hye Young. I’ll never leave you again.”

“Hye Young,” The older Ja Young whispered before the setting blurred and she was left with nothing. The memories from her reawakening at Lay’s orphanage to the Hyogun Arctic Circle incident played out like a movie and it replayed over and over again. As it looped, some memories faded out until the only ones with Kai involved remained.

“Kai,” she whispered again. So much longing and love filled her heart. She started to run. She saw Kai’s face for a second before it got smaller and smaller. She chased after it with an outstretched arm and repetitively called his name louder and louder.

Before she ultimately gave up, she felt a hand in hers - Kai’s hand. One by one, a new hand reached for her - the faction’s hands, B.A.P, Ji Eun, even Seung Hyun and Haneul from their first few days of her journey. They parted in the middle and up ahead, she saw her parents and Hye Young, beckoning her to come.

“Ja Young,” her father’s manly and smooth voice called.

“Ja Young,” her mother’s warm and soothing voice called.

“Ja Young,” Hye Young’s voice, identical to hers called.

She opened her eyes. The nostalgia of being in her room after losing her biological arm came to her. She felt someone stir from slumber beside her, holding her hand.

It was Kai, wrapped in a thick fleece robe with his cheeks slightly and abnormally rosy from his frozen state. It was impossible for him to be up and moving again after one day, but it has actually been one month. The Argents were restless and Lu Han had no choice but to start the training regime without her. Kai and Xiu Min had to take it easy on their bodies.

Kai’s eyes had gotten more alert as he fiercely pulled her to his arms, his breathing shaky.

“Yin,” he said. Ja Young was still unresponsive. She didn’t even have enough time to return it.

“Yin. Do you recognize me?” She still didn’t say anything. The memories were still fresh and she realized something. She inhaled deeply and gave a good smack on his head.

“What the heck!” He yelped. She hit his arm. "I didn't do anything to you!"

“You stupid reckless moron!” She yelled through her dry parched throat. Kai could have sworn that his soul just left him. As Yin, she never insulted him so bluntly and open. It was Ja Young’s turn to pull him to her arms as she held him tight.

“Why the heck did you choose not to say anything? Did you know how much you hurt me? And when you turned into that Boundless Daemen, if I was still me, then I would have just beat some sense into your hard head!” 

Kai pulled away, studying her tired but annoyed complexion.

“So does this mean...?”

“And one more thing. My name’s not Zhang Yin.” She leaned in to kiss him for a few seconds. When she retreated to lean her forehead on his, she finished, “It’s Hong Ja Young. Get it right, you idiot.”