Red.

He bit his hand to prevent himself from screaming. He could feel bile rising to his throat at the sight in front of him.

Everything was red.

He winced and looked at his hand to see blood seeping through what seemed to be a bite mark.

Pain.

He let out a shaky laugh as he let it drip to the floor.

Finally.

No one’s stopping him for real.

Or so he thought.

.

.

Woohyun couldn’t care less. He knew his leg would’ve bruised by the way he stumbled and tripped on so many treads in between each step, but he didn’t mind it one bit. He felt his head pounding and he knew that it was definitely not a good sign.

Slamming the rooftop door open, Woohyun yelled out Dongwoo’s name. But he halted in his step when he saw the said boy struggling against Hoya’s grip, his hands grabbing—or frantically trying to grab—the railing of the rooftop.

Woohyun understood the situation almost immediately.

Dongwoo was trying to jump.

            “Dongwoo,” Woohyun called out. The two boys halted immediately.

Dongwoo turned his head and Woohyun’s stomach turned at the sight of blood on the side of his face. Tears cascaded down the elder’s cheeks and yet Woohyun couldn’t think of the reason why.

Dongwoo swallowed thickly while Hoya let out what seemed to be a relieved sigh.

            “See? Someone does care,” Hoya whispered.

Dongwoo bit his lips and Woohyun swore he saw the other smiled, a really weak and painful smile, before he suddenly dropped to the ground. Woohyun’s eyes widened and he immediately dashed to the boy’s side.

            “Dongwoo!”

            “He fainted,” Hoya muttered as he motioned for the other to help him. Woohyun was dumbstruck.

            “W-why is he—Wait, did something happen..?”

Woohyun’s question fell upon deaf ears. Hoya looked down at the unconscious boy and a frown reached his feature as he recalled what happened earlier.

After what happened to Myungsoo, the whole school had been thrown into chaos. Students wouldn’t stop talking about what might have possibly happened, creating rumors among themselves. Even the teachers couldn’t stop themselves from mentioning it once in a while.

Hoya, on the other hand, was visibly annoyed with it. They could’ve minded their own businesses, he thought. Not having the spirit to study, the boy decided to skip class for once. He headed to the rooftop, knowing that no teachers would be looking for him there.

As he walked up the stairs, he noticed Myungsoo’s friends heading down as they exchanged laughs between each other.

            “Oi, Howon! You actually skip class?” One of them asked, slightly chuckling. Hoya raised an eyebrow at him.

            “It’s sad that you missed that, if only you came earlier,” another one said laughing. Hoya furrowed his eyebrows.

            “Why?”

            “Well, you know, with Kim around we can’t exactly enjoy our group activities, but now that he’s not here…” The boy snickered as the other members laughed.

Hoya shook his head at them until his eyes spotted a baseball bat in one of the boys’ possession. He didn’t miss the red splotches on the metal bar.

            “You didn’t,” Hoya frowned.

            “Yes we did,” the boy smirked. “What’s the fun of ganging up against them without causing any impact? Sure, they fear us, but we need to hear something, not only see.”

‘These guys are sick,’ Hoya thought as he casted his eyes towards the slightly open door.

            “Well, anyway, we’re going now. Have fun,” the boy said chuckling lowly. Hoya just shrugged them off and continued his walk.

Honestly, he didn’t really care about it. Whatever the boys do was not his business. That’s what he always told himself. True, he regretted the time when he didn’t stand up for Woohyun, but during that time Woohyun was nothing to him.

He’s Myungsoo’s friend and he promised the boy that he would always stand by his side whenever Myungsoo told him to. But he couldn’t hold his gasp when he noticed a certain Dongwoo climbing up the railing.

            “Yah, what the hell?!” Hoya grasped the back of the other boy’s shirt and pulled him back before he managed to go to the other side. He didn’t even struggle when Hoya held him.

            “What’s with you? What are you think—“

Hoya knew that the boy’s silence was something unusual already. But he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the trail of blood on Dongwoo’s face, along with the cold and distant look in the boy’s eyes.

            “Dongwoo…”

            “… I can’t do this anymore…”

Hoya frowned. He rested his palm against the bloodied boy’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

            “Dongwoo, what—“

            “I can’t. I don’t want to do this anymore…” Dongwoo muttered as he adverted his gaze from Hoya’s piercing eyes.

            “Dongwoo—“

            “It’s useless. It’s worthless…”

            “Dong—“

            “I can’t live this life anymore—“

            “Jang Dongwoo, shut up and look at me!”

Hoya’s eyes softened when he met Dongwoo’s watery ones. Even though they’re hollow, Hoya could still see the fear in the other’s eyes.

            “Howon, please,” a tear escaped Dongwoo’s eyes. Hoya’s chest clenched at the sight.

            “Dongwoo…”

            “Please let me go… I… I can’t stay here any longer…” Dongwoo shut his eyes, letting more tears to flow. “I’m disgusting… I’m aware of that.”

            “No, you’re not—“

            “Then why were you with them?” Dongwoo asked mockingly. Hoya adverted his gaze towards the ground.

            “No one would look for me. Heck, no one would even notice me missing,” Dongwoo smiled bitterly.

            “But then what about your friends?”

            “What friends? They only stay by my side because they pity me,” Dongwoo spat out. Hoya frowned at the elder’s attitude.

            “What about Woohyun? He defended you from Myungsoo,” Hoya crossed his arms. Dongwoo bit his lips.

            “We just met recently, but I know he’s a good person,” Dongwoo muttered.

Hoya nodded, “He’s a really good guy.”

            “I haven’t had the chance to know him that well, but sadly…” Dongwoo smiled bitterly.

Sensing something, Hoya got on his feet and true, Dongwoo once again tried to jump off the railing. Gritting his teeth, Hoya quickly circled his arm around the boy’s waist and tried his best to held him still despite the other’s struggles.

Hoya couldn’t feel anymore grateful towards Woohyun for barging at the perfect time.

.

.

            “Too much things happened these days…” Woohyun muttered. Hoya nodded silently.

The two boys brought Dongwoo to the infirmary and obviously Sunggyu wasn’t pleased with the sight. Knowing the fact that the current Dongwoo is closer to Sunggyu, Woohyun decided to leave Dongwoo in the elder’s hands while he and Hoya waited outside the infirmary.

            “What’s with people ending their lives so easily like that…” Hoya mumbled. Woohyun snorted making Hoya raised an eyebrow at him.

            “Oh, sorry. I just find it quite ironic,” Woohyun said clearing his throat.

‘You’re the one who tried to chug down a whole bottle of painkillers,’ Woohyun thought.

            “… I actually…considered what you said before…”

Woohyun turned his head to see Hoya looking down at his clenched fists. A deep sigh escaped the latter’s lips.

            “You said you’ve been through it before,” Hoya turned to Woohyun, “Can I ask what made you stop trying?”

Woohyun swallowed thickly and leaned back to rest his head against the wall. He could feel his eyes starting to sting as he recalled the fight he saw in his dream.

            “I… I was scared,” Woohyun mumbled. Hoya raised an eyebrow at the other boy.

            “Of death?” Hoya raised an eyebrow. Woohyun chuckled weakly.

            “You might not know it yet, but when you failed your attempt… The feeling is horrid,” Woohyun bit his lips and hugged himself.

Pressing the razor against his skin, drawing a red line across his wrist, Woohyun hissed as he felt his skin breaking.

Red. Blood started to seep out of the thin mark. He smiled at the sight in front of him.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror and he chuckled when he couldn’t recognize the face staring back at him. So hollow, so sad. Looking really pathetic with the thought of the whole world hating him.

He glanced to his side to see a bottle of pills sitting innocently on the counter. Woohyun let out a small chuckle as he reached for it.

            “How ironic. To die with painkillers…”

But as the image of a certain man he loves flashed into his mind, his eyes started to water again.

            “Gyu… I… I’m leaving now…” Woohyun muttered, clenching his fist tightly around the small bottle in his hand.

He chugged the whole bottle down even though he knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t leave him yet. He wasn’t ready yet.

            “Knowing that you’re going to make someone cry for your disappearance, knowing that you’re not going to see those people you love…” Woohyun’s gaze lowered to the ground. “And the regret for not treating them better…”

            “You know I love you right..?”

            “And also… To be left behind so suddenly…” Woohyun bit his lips. Images of his dead friends flashed back into his mind.

He drew in a sharp breath before releasing a shuddery one. He turned to his side to see Hoya looking at him worriedly, fingers wrapped tightly around his wrist.

Woohyun smiled weakly and shook his head.

            “When he’s awake, tell him this…”

.

.

            “Hey.”

Dongwoo turned his head to see Hoya standing near the infirmary door. He propped himself up on his elbow and sat up on the bed. He was surprised to find that his wound had been bandaged up well. Nodding his head slightly, the older indicated for the latter to come in. He glanced behind the younger and almost frowned when he noticed that someone’s missing.

            “Where’s Woohyun?” Dongwoo asked.

            “He left first. Sunggyu walked him home. And Sunggyu was the one to take care of you since the nurse disappeared to God knows where,” Hoya shrugged as he took a seat next to Dongwoo’s bed.

            “I must’ve scared him…” Dongwoo muttered. Hoya blinked and furrowed his eyebrows when he realized something.

            “No, actually… Quite the contrary,” Hoya said, “He seemed to be really calm. Too calm, in fact.”

Dongwoo blinked and chuckled weakly, “He’s a weird kid.”

            “A good weird kid,” Hoya said nodding.

Silence took over the two and Dongwoo lowered his gaze towards the bed sheet instead. Hoya cleared his throat.

            “I’m sorry,” Hoya said.

            “What for?”

            “For that,” Hoya motioned to Dongwoo’s head. Dongwoo raised an eyebrow at him.

            “It wasn’t you who did this…” Dongwoo mumbled.

            “But they were my friends. And I didn’t stop them from attacking you.”

            “It was inevitable. You didn’t know that they had that intention,” Dongwoo shrugged.

            “True, but…” Hoya sighed and looked down. “Someone told me this…”

“Suicide…is a permanent answer to your temporary problems. Death is never the right answer.”

            “I used to be in the same boat before, Dongwoo. I used to think that it’s better to die instead of carrying on,” Hoya muttered.

            “But this good kid, he told me that life is beautiful, and that I haven’t seen the best part of it yet,” he chuckled. Dongwoo turned to look at him.

            “I don’t think he actually knew what my problem is… But—“

            “It feels as if he knows everything,” Dongwoo finished off with a small smile.

            “Yeah… Yeah,” Hoya bit his lips and nodded.

It started to bug him just now. The thought of Woohyun’s appearance triggered the whole chain of madness. Starting from him, then to Myungsoo, and then to Dongwoo.

‘But then again… Why does he feel so familiar..?’ Hoya snapped out of his thought when the sound of the bed creaking caught his attention.

            “Where are you going?”

            “Home, duh. I’m not staying here overnight,” Dongwoo raised an eyebrow at him.

Hoya just nodded and let the older stood up and walked towards the door. He hesitated for a moment before he called out for the older.

            “Hey, Dongwoo…”

Dongwoo stopped in his track and turned his head towards the younger, “Hm?”

            “I’m your friend, you know?”

Hoya stood in his spot, waiting for a response. After a small gap of silence he caught a small snicker coming from the older boy.

            “Idiot,” Dongwoo chuckled and shook his head before he walked out, leaving Hoya standing in confusion.

.

.

            “Thanks for saving Dongwoo,” Sunggyu said. Woohyun smiled and shook his head.

            “It wasn’t me. Hoya was the one who did it,” Woohyun said with a slight chuckle. “Those two might make good friends…”

‘Just like how it’s supposed to be…’ Woohyun thought.

            “I think they would,” Sunggyu said with a small nod.

            “By the way, Sunggyu,” Woohyun started, taking the other’s attention, “I’m surprised that you were still there when I came back. I mean, even Sungyeol left already.”

            “I’m not sure myself,” Sunggyu shrugged. “It’s just, I have a feeling that I should wait for you.”

            “A feeling huh..?” Woohyun mumbled.

            “My intuition is scary, huh?” Sunggyu said with a small grin. Woohyun stopped in his track and looked down at the ground.

Noticing that the other boy was not following him, Sunggyu turned around and raised an eyebrow at the latter.

            “What’s wrong?”

Forcing a smile to his face, Woohyun swallowed thickly and looked up, “Nothing! Nothing is wrong!”

            “Okay..?” Sunggyu blinked and continued walking. Woohyun stared at his retreating back with a tightening feeling in his chest.

            “I could’ve just moved on… And find myself a better person to be with…”

            “No… Gyu…” Tears cascaded down Woohyun’s cheeks as he brushed away some hair from Sunggyu’s forehead. Sunggyu chuckled breathily and shut his eyes tight when started to wheeze.

            “But I have a feeling… That I should just wait for you to come back…” Sunggyu reached out to touch Woohyun’s face. Woohyun swallowed his sobs as he held Sunggyu’s hand.

            “My intuition is scary, huh..?”

            “Gyu… Don’t leave me…” His voice cracked as tears started to flow out of his eyes uncontrollably.

            “You know I love you, right..?” Sunggyu smiled and wiped away the tears from the other’s cheek.

            “Live your life, Woohyun-ah… But I… I’ll be waiting for you…”

And the heart monitor showed a flat line.

A/N:

not exactly back... but yeah, eheh. probably I'll start posting more next week.