Red.

He wiped the small trail of blood at the corner of his lips.

Everything was red.

He looked at his reflection on the mirror and breathed out a frustrated sigh. His eyes were distant. Cold. No emotion. At least that’s what people said to him.

Still moving.

But he knows that he’s alive.

At least for now.

.

.

            “Thank you…”

            “Hm?”

            “Thank you for staying.”

Woohyun looked at the older and tilted his head with a questioning look. Dongwoo stared down at his lap, a faint smile adorning his face.

            “I’m sure you’ve found out by now… About the reason why they target me,” Dongwoo chuckled. Woohyun stayed silent but smiled nonetheless.

            “Those people might be targeting you after this,” Dongwoo sighed.

            “I don’t care.”

            “They will beat you up…”

            “I’ll survive.”

            “They will make the whole school turns against you!”

Woohyun looked at the older once again. Dongwoo was slightly panting from his own outburst. Woohyun reached out a hand and squeezed Dongwoo’s hand lightly. Dongwoo blinked at him.

            “Even though the whole school turns against me, you’re going to be right next to me,” Woohyun smiled gently, silently adoring the expression Dongwoo made.

‘Finally something familiar…’ Woohyun thought when Dongwoo squeezed his hand back.

            “You know, Woohyun… You really are one of a kind,” Dongwoo chuckled while Woohyun grinned sheepishly.

            “I just met you this morning and yet it feels as if we knew each other for years already!” Dongwoo exclaimed.

Woohyun forced a smile, trying to look natural enough for Dongwoo to not suspect anything. It hurts. It really hurts. Being able to reach out for him, and yet at the same time he couldn’t. Knowing that Dongwoo would not remember anything, any moment they’ve spent the past years together with the others. Going through the same phase again and again that it seemed as if he’s walking on and endless spiral.

But this time, Woohyun couldn’t be so sure that the outcome would be the same.

            “By the way, Dongwoo… Do you actually, um, have a friend here..?” Woohyun smiled awkwardly.

            “Of course I do. There are three of them,” Dongwoo said, the smile never left his face.

            “Three?”

‘Only three..? There are hundreds of students in the school and you made friends with three only..?’ Woohyun frowned inwardly.

            “Do I know them?” Woohyun raised an eyebrow.

            “I don’t know if you do… But anyway, Lee Sungyeol, Kim Sunggyu and Lee Sungjong,” Dongwoo said slightly shrugging.

Things are starting to make no sense once again. Woohyun met Dongwoo on his first year university, along with Hoya and Sungyeol. Sunggyu and Myungsoo showed up when he had a job interview while Sungjong just magically appeared like that.

Dongwoo and Hoya were—no, they are best friends. Their relationship could be considered even closer than Woohyun and Sunggyu’s. But now, where’s Hoya?

            “Only the three of them..? No one else..?”

            “Only them,” Dongwoo said. He blinked when he noticed Woohyun looking down.

Woohyun sighed. He couldn’t remember anything from his high school years and he couldn’t really remember the things his friends said to him before. Now that he lost all clues and hints, he had to solve the puzzle all by himself.

            “Well… There’s another one…” Dongwoo muttered, placing a finger on his chin, tapping it lightly. Woohyun turned to him almost immediately.

Dongwoo smiled and pointed the said finger towards the boy next to him. Woohyun blinked with wide eyes.

            “Me?” Woohyun looked at him with confusion.

            “W-well… You defended me and all that before, so I thought we’re friends…” Dongwoo smiled knowingly. Woohyun lightly bit his lips.

‘But that’s not the name I’m waiting for…’

            “Of course we’re friends~” Woohyun grinned and slung an arm around Dongwoo’s shoulder.

Woohyun laughed at the faint blush coloring Dongwoo’s cheeks, and the older punched his arm for that. Woohyun once again laughed it off but then he winced when he felt his chest tightened for a moment.

‘I’m leaving and no one’s stopping me.’

Woohyun looked at Dongwoo with a small frown, but the older only smiled.

.

.

            “Sunggyu, Sungjong!”

Sungjong turned around to see Woohyun waving his hand with a wide smile plastered on his face. Sungjong was about to wave back at him, but Sunggyu tugged at his arm, telling the youngest to keep walking.

Woohyun’s chest clenched painfully when he noticed that Sunggyu didn’t even bother to look at him.

The way Sungjong looked at him, the way Sunggyu smiled warmly at the other boy, and Woohyun couldn’t take any of it.

He was about to turn around and walk away from the painful sight until a certain Dongwoo passed by and dragged him towards the two instead.

            “Yah! Sunggyu! Sungjong!”

Woohyun furrowed his eyebrows when both Sunggyu and Sungjong stopped in their tracks to look at them. Dongwoo grinned and linked his arm with Woohyun’s.

            “I didn’t know that you know each other!” Dongwoo exclaimed.

            “I… Just introduced myself this morning…” Woohyun smiled awkwardly, feeling kind of comfortable to be under Sunggyu’s judging stare.

Woohyun fidgeted while Sunggyu kept his gaze at Woohyun, silently observing the younger. Sunggyu then turned to Dongwoo with a raised eyebrow.

            “So you guys are friends?”

            “He defended me from the Kim’s group,” Dongwoo chuckled, raising Woohyun’s hand that had intertwined with his.

            “Him? Isn’t he a part of…” Sunggyu narrowed his eyes. Woohyun got the hint and immediately waved his hand dismissively.

            “Oh, no, no! I actually just had the chance to meet Myungsoo just now—“

            “M-Myung—You sure you didn’t know him..?” Sungjong’s eyes went wide.

Woohyun blinked at the younger, questioning the weird question. Before he had the chance to open his mouth to talk, a hand placed itself on his shoulder and Woohyun’s eyes went wide when he saw the boy glaring at him.

            “How many times do I have to freaking tell you..?” Myungsoo gritted his teeth as his grip on Woohyun’s shoulder tightened. Woohyun grimaced at the pressure.

            “Oh, so you decided to talk nicely now?” Woohyun raised an eyebrow.

            “Save the curses for later. I might want to deal with you. Privately,” Myungsoo sneered before he walked away, followed by the boys from his group.

Woohyun shook his head and turned around only to see a slightly amused Sunggyu and Sungjong staring at him with wide eyes. Dongwoo laughed lightly and slung an arm around Woohyun’s shoulder.

            “I’ve told you you’re one of a kind!” Dongwoo exclaimed, ruffling Woohyun’s hair affectionately.

            “That’s just… Whoa,” Sungjong gaped.

            “Kim Myungsoo is still a person, you know,” Woohyun said with a small chuckle.

            “I know, but still! You’re officially my favorite friend, Woohyun!” Sungjong exclaimed.

Woohyun smiled and ruffled Sungjong’s hair, making the younger once again whined. He froze when he noticed Sunggyu’s gaze, seemingly threatening. Woohyun hesitantly retracted his hand and once again linked his arm with Dongwoo’s.

‘This is harder than I thought…’ Woohyun bit his lips when Sunggyu slung an arm around Sungjong’s shoulder.

Dongwoo gave the younger a reassuring smile as he tugged at Woohyun’s arm. Woohyun smiled back and walked together with Dongwoo.

None of them noticed the figure that had been listening throughout their whole conversation.

.

.

It’s been an hour after the dismissal bell yet Woohyun stayed behind. He thought that it might be better for him to grasp the current situation rather than jumping into conclusion, which might not end up prettily.

            “Excuse me.”

Woohyun turned around and he almost couldn’t recognize the person talking to him. Almost.

            “Hoya?” Woohyun blinked.

Hoya raised an eyebrow at the other boy. Woohyun was staring at him with mouth wide agape. Obviously Woohyun wasn’t expecting to find most of his friends at the same day.

‘Or probably I have a very limited time…’ Woohyun thought biting his lips.

            “Excuse me, but who are you?” Hoya looked at Woohyun accusingly. Woohyun immediately raised both hands defensively.

            “U-uh… My name is Woohyun, Nam Woohyun… And I’m not your stalker by the way. It’s just that your name is really—uh… Unique..? Yeah! It’s similar with the name of a plant so—“

            “It’s Howon, not Hoya,” Hoya said.

Woohyun could only blink while the other stared at him.

‘Wait. I thought Hoya hates it the most when someone calls him with his real name..?’ Woohyun thought.

But then he recalled the incident with him calling out Myungsoo’s name and the boy didn’t look too pleased with it.

            “Oh… Nice meeting you Hoy—Howon,” Woohyun corrected himself.

            “I guess the same goes to you, Woohyun. Now if you would excuse me,” Hoya pushed pass Woohyun and he couldn’t hide his surprise when Woohyun suddenly fell to the floor clutching at his chest.

Woohyun felt himself choking. His chest tightened as his heart started to beat faster. Woohyun swore he could hear his heart drumming in his head. But he noticed there were faint murmurs as well.

            “You okay?” Hoya crouched down and held Woohyun’s shoulder. Woohyun gasped.

‘… No one’s stopping me…’

The pain was unbearable. Woohyun gritted his teeth and shut his eyes tight as the excruciating feeling kept resurfacing in his chest. He placed his hand on Hoya’s and peeled it off of his shoulder. Woohyun heaved out a deep breath when the pain started to die down.

            “You all right..?” Hoya looked at Woohyun with an unreadable expression. Woohyun gulped and nodded, still catching his breath.

            “Are you sure? Because just now you looked like you just… Had an attack…” Hoya muttered the last part. Woohyun glanced at him questioningly, but decided to brush it off for the moment.

            “I’m…fine…” Woohyun breathed out. Hoya nodded and stood up.

            “Since you said so. Anyway, I’ll be going now,” Hoya said before he left Woohyun dumbfounded in the hallway.

‘That… Just now… Wait. So it wasn’t Dongwoo..?’ Woohyun’s eyes went wide as he stared at Hoya’s retreating figure.

Woohyun sat there for a few moments, trying to place the puzzles back together. But of course, there are some missing pieces left. For instance, he hadn’t seen Sungyeol yet.

And in the middle of his contemplation, Woohyun felt agitation kicked him right in the gut. His stomach turned and Woohyun knew that it was definitely not a good sign. He looked at the direction where Hoya headed to and he had a clue where Hoya was.

‘Let’s just hope that's not it…’ Woohyun stood up, wobbling a little before he managed to walk properly.

.

.

His heart thumped louder by each step he took. Woohyun hesitantly opened the restroom door and peeked in.

He gasped.

Apparently it was loud enough because Hoya immediately turned around to see the sudden intruder. Woohyun’s eyes went wide.

Red.

            “Ho-Hoya..?” Woohyun called out gently, trying to be composed even though he felt his hands shaking.

Hoya’s stare was intimidating enough for Woohyun, but the blood trailing down Hoya’s mouth made it even worse. Woohyun gulped as he took a step closer.

            “Don’t you dare,” Hoya said lowly as he glared at the other boy. Woohyun halted in his step, but the moment his eyes trailed down, he noticed a small bottle on the floor.

Woohyun’s eyes went wide. He knew exactly what it was. After all, he used to bring the same thing around.

            “Hoya, that’s—“

            “It’s Howon, do I have to keep reminding you?” Hoya growled startling Woohyun slightly.

            “You’re not supposed to—“

            “And you’re not supposed to stick your nose into other’s business.”

Woohyun looked at Hoya for a while before he shook his head, telling himself how much he was going to regret what he was about to do. Without even minding Hoya’s warning glare, Woohyun stepped closer and pulled the other into a hug. Hoya froze immediately.

            “Look, I know how weird I sound just by saying this, but I know what you’re going through,” Woohyun sighed. “But that… that thing… It doesn’t work that way… You’re just making things even more difficult for you.”

Woohyun pulled away and stared at the other’s eyes. Woohyun saw it, the slight change in Hoya’s eyes.

            “Because I’ve been through that before,” Woohyun muttered, gazing into Hoya’s eyes. Hoya looked at the other for a moment before he flinched and shifted his eyes.

            “You don’t know what I’m going through.”

            “I know. And I know how hard life is, but trust me, life is too beautiful for you to miss,” Woohyun looked at him, trying to meet his gaze.

He couldn’t believe it. He went back to years before to see his best friends alive and here they are, hating and wanting to kill themselves.

‘I don’t get it… Why..?’ Woohyun thought, feeling the his chest tightening again.

            “Life is beautiful…”

Woohyun blinked and looked at Hoya. Hoya just stared at him and shifted his gaze downwards.

            “But sometimes… You don’t have much time to enjoy the beauty of life…” Hoya murmured as he walked towards the door, not minding to clean the dried blood on his face.

            “But that doesn’t mean you should shorten your life like that,” Woohyun said making Hoya stopped in his track.

            “It’s better to end it while—“

            “You live happily? Really?” Woohyun retorted. Hoya looked at him with wide eyes. Woohyun scoffed.

           “I’ve told you, I’ve been through those times. And trust me, you haven’t seen the most beautiful part of life yet,” Woohyun crossed his arms, staring straight at Hoya. “And personally, I don’t think you’re happy at all.”

Hoya blinked before a light chuckle escaped his lips. Woohyun raised an eyebrow at him.

            “You’re really one of a kind…” Hoya said shaking his head. Woohyun furrowed his eyebrows.

‘What’s with people telling me I’m different or anything..?’ Woohyun thought.

            “For a moment you almost managed to convince me there,” Hoya said with an amused look. “All right, I’m giving up on those pills... But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stay here for long, though.”

‘I don’t have much time…’

            “You will be all right,” Woohyun said. “Trust me.”

            “See you tomorrow,” Hoya ignored him and turned to the door again, leaving Woohyun alone.

Woohyun sighed. Hoya graduated university and he even spent years working together with him. He had years upon him. Or at least that’s how it’s supposed to be.

But from their conversation, Woohyun had a feeling that Hoya was suffering from an illness. Not only physically, Hoya had a sick way of thinking. Terribly sick that the latter chose to die in his own hands instead of waiting for time to finish him.

            “Wait. ‘See you tomorrow’..?” Woohyun blinked.

His mouth formed a small smile. I've finally made another friend, he thought.

But the next day, Woohyun’s smile vanished when he got cornered by Myungsoo’s group on the rooftop, and Hoya was standing next to Myungsoo the whole time.