r e v i e w s — a d v e r t i s e m e n t s  — b a c o n 

❝REVIEW❞

evilmagnae | Remember me, Dara | turtleception 

t i t l e ; ( 5/5 )

Simple and gives me a hint of what the story line is about so, nice~ :3 

p r e s e n t a t i o n (poster, backround etc) ; (7/10)

The poster was alright, like it wasn't god-like, like duizhang kris god-like but it was great.

Your photoshop skills aren't bad, but you should've turned ever picture into black and white? but it's your choice haha. 

no background so i can't comment.. or should i say, i can't compliment a plain, white background now can i?

jokes omfg i'm so dry, thorry. 

p l o t & o r i g i n a l i t y ; (5/10)

The plot... it's from a movie isn't it? or am i mistaken... because there is a movie like this and the originality... well, the plot itself is a very common plot/story line so not very original. It didn't help that i noticed you didn't say anything about it being similar to a movie or something. /smh/ 

g r a m m a r & s p e l l i n g ; (6/10)

Now, for the grammar... you went between tenses a lot. Like from past to present then the cycle went over and over again.What i mean by that is, you wrote "The door opened, and TOP enters while munching a burger"  You should stay with one, to be quite honest, it confuses the reader. Maybe something like "The door opened and TOP entered with a burger in his mouth."  if you want past tense, but if you want present then "The door swung open and TOP enters the room whilst munching on a burger"  

The spelling was great, no mistakes whatsoever. It's just the grammar that you have to work on, but i understand that English might be your second language, i won't judge. hur ~  but because you only wanted me to review chapter 5-7, i'm sure the other chapters are...different in a good way. ^^; 

c h a r a c t e r i z a t i o n ; (7/10)

Alrighty, characterization. For the 3 chapters i read, i did not learn anything about the characters except that Jiyoung and Dara are having an intimate relationship/married/dating.

I know you might have put the characterizations at the start but i didn't review chapter 1-4 so... I'm not sure about it. 

w r i t i n g  s t y l e ; (4/5)

Too much spacing and gaps between the sentences, like the paragraphs are either long or really short, maybe try not to press the enter button too much~ but the words you used are great and descriptive. 

s t o r y  f l o w ; (2/5)

The story did not flow at all i'm sorry ;A; /kicks self/ 

o v e r a l l  e n j o y m e n t ; (15/20)

A/N: Omg i'm so sorry i was harsh, it's just one of my pet peeves when people don't do proper grammar. /shots/ but this is all from my opinion okay~? it doesn't mean it's the same opinion everyone else has so please, don't hate me. ; ;