My POV          

I’m walking on the road which is surrounded by shops. The sound of horn from the cars, the sound of noisy construction of a building, the sound of people chattering around me are not able to wake me up from my deep daydream. I’m thinking about everything that happened in the past. I still remember it like it was happened yesterday. His smile is clearly still in my mind. And I can still hear his voice like a song that always wake me up in the morning. I am sad. VERY sad.

            I suddenly stop in front of a coffee shop. And the memories about me and him in this coffee shop also suddenly drift out of my memory. I stare at that coffee shop for a while, then finally I decided to get in. It’s a type of coffee shop that you will in love at the first time you saw it. With big windows, vintage decorations, warm atmosphere and warm people. I order two hot chocolates, as usual. I have no idea how many times I come here without him. I take a seat where we usually used to sit. I’m staring at the window blankly when the waiter brings my order. “Thank you” I said that as I give the money to him. I don’t even bother to see him. He just stayed there for a while till he says “you’re welcome” and walks away. Keep his urge to ask why I always come here alone but still order two cups of hot chocolate.

            I slurp my hot chocolate. And I just place the other one in front of me. Like there is someone that is sitting there and having the hot chocolate too. But in fact, There is no one. I stare blankly at the sofa in front me where he usually used to sit. We used to have a good chilling time here. We talked about our day with hot chocolates. Then I stare at the mug which I’m holding right now. It is just an ordinary mug with the coffee shop’s brand on it. But He bought two mugs from here. He said that those mugs could be our reminder about our days if we were old. And He always blew my hot chocolate before I drank it.

            I feel something wrong about my stomach. Oh yes, I’m hungry. I didn’t eat anything but an apple since this morning. So I call the waiter again. “ What’s your order miss?” he asked me as giving me the menu. “hmmm I want……..”my eyes are tracing the list in the menu and suddenly stop at ‘Chicken Wings’ . Well, yes, he usually used to eat that. He loves chiken so damn much. Even one day I ever thought that he loves chicken more than he loves me. Since the chicken thingy just bring out more memory about him, “ Well, Macaroons would be lovely” I said to the waitress as I smile and give the menu back to him. “Okay, Miss. It would take about 15 minutes”.

            He used to love reading books in here. And he would get really angry if someone disturb him. He also liked to bring Rubik’s cube. He would play that all day long and ignored me. Sometimes He came along with his band mates. They are so nice. Key, the ‘Umma-like’, because he always take cares of his friends. Minho, the manly one, he is so tall and very god at sports. Jonghyun, he is the shortest but he has an amazing voice. Taemin, the youngest, he is so cute. And All of them treat my boyfriend as the leader.

            Shinee’s song, The name I loved, wake me up from my daydreaming.  Uuuggghhh perfect! Now I have to hear his voice again. I slurp my hot chocolate. Talk about Shinee, the fact that Jonghyun declared his relationship with his girlfriend hit me. Why Jinki never do that. Oh yeah, obviously I’m nothing for him now. He is single. He is free. His fans are his wives. So He doesn’t need me anymore. But I NEED HIM! Not because now he is Onew, the famous singer of Shinee. It’s because He is Lee Jinki, my dearest boyfriend. The one that used to stays by my side no matter what happen. The one that used to picks me up in the morning to go to school. The one who always walked me home. Someone who never get tired of listen to my nag. When I saw him one TV, He is still the same. His smile is still the same. The thing that is not the same is his smile is no longer for me.

            Ah, What’s wrong with me? He is not here anymore. Maybe all I need is time. Time to think about what had happened to us. My thoughts flying back at the time when he told me that he  wanted to focus on his career as a singer. It’s still fresh in my mind that my tears suddenly burst out. “I don’t want to leave you. Really. But this is for us. Both of us. “ He whispered that to me as I was crying so hard.

“Both of us?! I can’t see anything about your plan that related to us!” I yelled to him. I was upset. He supposed to know that he was so precious to me. No, I wasn’t acting like a girl who is depressed because of her soon-to-be-leaving boyfriend. But that is true. I can’t live without him.

            Hot chocolate is supposed to be sweet. But, since he left, I can’t taste the sweet anymore. It has been 4 years since he left. Great. Now I remember how much money that I waste to buy another cup of hot chocolate. But that’s not what I want to think about right now. I want to think about what  I should do in the future. It’s just useless if I keep cry over him. I realize. He is not mine anymore. No, I’m not singing 2NE1’s It’s Hurt.

            Well, I have to do something which is the easiest thing to say but the hardest thing to do, move on. I have to. The world will keep on moving, the air will keep on blowing, and the water will keep on flowing, but I still do nothing. I glance at ‘Onew’s’  cup of hot chocolate. I drink it.Idrink ituntilnothingsleft. Now, I’m ready to move on.

                But, ready to move on doesn’t make your hunger disappear. So, as I’m waiting for my macaroons….