By GreenGardenPop

Title 9.75

You couldn't have picked the most appropriate title for this. It struck me as too obvious actually but the fic is really short for you to have played away with title. It has the angst-y twinge on it which is exactly on par with your story. I won't go technical on about which memory was it so I won't argue. The bottom line is the title is spot on which is fitting for a one shot.  

Poster 9

Again the rain is too obvious and I can't see through all the layers clearly. Myunsoo and Jiyeon look detached to one another and gives the feeling that they are not conveying the same emotion. They are just spatially too far from each other. and the font and the colors are not something I particularly associate to angst . even the size is quite odd too. i like the watch detail though. 

Character 14

Myungsoo can easily be related to cuz basically he tells the whole story but the rest, which is, everyone else is vague to me. you were not into details as to how Jiyeon fell in love with him. there was not interaction between them that was hinted prior to when he ran out to see her. more than her memory taking over him  its like him remembering her is the concept. Him longing for her was discussed but not her presence entirely.

Jaejoong's appearance is actually dawning. He’s presence gave that interaction, that conversation, that emotion that was lacking. Cuz on Myungsoo’s part I didn’t feel despair. I feel longing, lots of it. But Jaejoong was blunt with his feelings. He’s jeaous. He’s hurt. He’s angry. I dunno why he has to disappear though that should have been discussed at least since it was mentioned. 

Description & Foreword 14.75

the description was short and simple. i like it better that way, though this line 'If you were not able to convey your hope and your longing, then let the rain deliver it.' i don't think what the rain delivered hope and longing but his memory with her. but actually told myself i'm reading good stuff when i read the description so short as it is, it did deliver. Congrats!

 Plot/Storyline 19

it was good. i read the comments and they asked if she's dead or alive. i didn't have that second thought, i just knew she's dead. lol. its not exactly original with the rain bringing back memories, brothers fighting over a girl and being cast away by your family for defying their wish. i don't exactly see the main fuss about Myungsoo marrying her instead of Jaejoon cuz as i see it the parents will have the same privilege. Its either Jaejoong is the favorite child or Myungsoo's adopted.

Nottoo original but you did spiced it up with the unique way of dying (most of the time it’s a vehicular accident. there’s way too many reckless driver in fiction).

Grammar 10

I didn't see anything that bothers me too much. as I’ve said i dun look at the technicality of the writing but the mood it sets and your grammar is really good that there are some lines that really captured me. *thumbs up*

Writing style:  19.5

you write angst just the way i like this genre to me written. the starting paragraph is the most crucial part cuz it's more about describing the setting and you did a great job with it. i love how you dwell on the feeling the rain represented as many of us represent thing differently. Yours was Myunsoo longing for Jiyeon. though there wasn't much details about him expecting or even hoping for her to comeback and that brings us back to your foreword. but you did an awesome job with this story and YAY to more angst.   

Overall:  96/100 great job! 

BONUS

story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/366092/memory-in-the-rain-angst-jiyeon-myungsoo-oneshot-myungyeon