Operation Furtune Cookie

By bluesnickers364

Title 10

When I first saw the title, by all due respect, it simply sounds ridiculous to me but after I read the chapters I see it fitting cuz the story is about this mission to abduct Tiffany and Yuri ingeniously just happened to give that name because of the very little and slightly insignificant fortune cookie. But if I want a better title I should better go and ague with Yuri and her lack of smarts. I don’t think that will yield something though. lol It did work though simple as it may sound. After that initial opinion about the title when I was in the middle of the story, the title does encompass the idea of the story. But I don’t it’s a very interesting title that calls attention but I have to give you kudos for even thinking about the fortune cookie!

Poster 9.5

The poster is neither dark nor comedic to me. It doesn’t tell much about the story either. Taeng being an assassin is totally not pictured here. The poster you did, though it doesn’t really up there yet when it comes to visuals it gives away the necessary details. The expressions don’t really sum up to anything either. Just two pretty girl, tis all. Tae doesn’t convey the thrill to kill and Tiff is just in her own world and wholly fascinated with her cell phone. Whoever made the poster knows what they’re doing. It has the perfect dimension, the colors, the font, the sizes of the pics. It’s really well-made and seeing their faces as clear as day is way better than stacking all sorts of layers here and there and obscuring the face for whatever reason.

Character 15

I can actually imagine them in every scene! Jess sounds exactly as she is and Tiff sounds… I don’t actually know how she sounds. Loud maybe?

Jess being the ice princess is a given and I love that you stick by it. Tiff is really loud with her love for pranks. I dunno if Tiff is really like that (ilike4minuteahem). My lack of knowledge about them is really preventing me from making a sound opinion about them and a good review. Mian OTL

Yuri though is plainly hilarious! She is crayji! I love her antics and her lines. Her lines are my favourites! I love how she’s like bullying Taeng. She has the most comedic parts and that’s because she really this very opinionated crazy person and she has the position to do whatever she wants.

Tae is a strong little girl. She doesn’t have problems with being an assassin and sounds like she’s really enjoying it. It makes me wonder though if she’s the adopted daughter then why did Jonghyun passed on the responsibility to Yuri. It’s like Yuri jumps into the picture and became the mafia leader for some unknown reason.

Throwing Jonghyun into the mulch is better than putting a random name. I wish there was more Jonghyun involvement though. And was he just too utterly sweet to that child? OH YES, HE WAS!

Description & Foreword 14.75

Short and sweet. I like longish forewords but this actually worked

Plot/Storyline 19

Is this the first assassin-fell-in-love-with-the-subject-storyline? NO. What makes it original though is the plot is not dark. It’s actually fun and buoyant BUOYANT? I’m at loss of adjectives it sound legit though.

There were no twists yet and I hope there will be one soon.

Grammar 10

All I can say is: Your grammar is better than mine.

Writing style:  19.75

This is spot on comedy. There are some stories where its neutral but with comedic punch here and there but this story is comedy all throughout. You made me laugh so hard girl. The humor is subtle but it made me happy inside like I found inner peace. Lol seriously, I’d marry you brain.

Taeng first person POV has more fun in it though.

Y0u are a great writer you know why? I don’t even care about SNSD but this entertained me. And it’s not even angst! I am a er for angst. But when I see that chapter list i wish there’s more. I don’t read gangsta style fic I know its mafia not gangs but mafia and gangs are cut from the same cloth for me. And really doesn’t work for me. But I genuinely enjoyed reading you fic though it took some time to read it but I read it in one go cuz I really liked it and again I don’t have any interest with any SM artists. You are AMACHING!

Overall:  98/100 GREAT WRITING!

sorry its so late. i was in a month long vacation and when i gotten around i had massive feels for BEAST its so distracting. i was a bit bothered by the request cuz i'm intrested on a very small pool of artists and any SM artists is not included. i'm really sorry if its late and short. usually i do PS like a mini poster with my favorite line but i can't decide on this one! if you could give me a line from your story i'm glad to do one for you.

- apol