« -I  so hate myself , it was all my fault , it’s so wrong for me to live n my heart and soul hurts it hurts so much I can’t take it , I can’t live any longer I want to die .”

You brought you legs to your chest , you buried your face on your arms , your hands caressing your own shoulders trying to sooth your pain , you cried .

“- don’t say that please , you don’t know how much pain I’ve been through , how many times I cried and prayed for god to maybe give us a chance , it’s been hard I know , and it hurt , I know , I know all of that , but you are here with me , *his voice gets softer but he fights the tears cause he can’t be the one crying he must be there for you* you have a chance , and we have a chance to be together one more time .”

“-but kris I am so hateful .. the baby…. I .. I couldn’t save him … he was there in me and I let him die …. Maybe I was meant to die too , it’s all my fault I couldn’t  save him , I selfishly survived without him …. I am no longer a mother ……. and you are ..no .n..o longer a father , I am sorry kris .”

You sobbed harder  leaning on the wall , letting your head fall back and tears running down your cheeks –it burned.

“-god allowed you to live again , we can start anew , don’t tire yourself please .”

He put his hand on your back desperately trying to console you as he caressed your back softly  

“- I am the cause of the disaster I need to die ,kris, I can’t face you any more I killed your child , OUR child and it hurts I want to disappear kris .”

He put his hand in your hand on your head playing with your hair .

“- it’s not too late for us to be together again , I know that things changed between us and I am sorry I broke things and tore things apart but I am willing to fix them , I can’t live without you cause my life is no longer a life , I am so lucky that you are here , I thought I will never see your smile again , I thought that I will never get the chance to talk to you again or piss you off some times . I am sorry I caused you so much pain and I really am shameless to stand next to you and talk to you again , I know but can’t you please forgive and try to forget ? I will kneel doing pleading you to forgive me cause I don’t really care anymore about pride and dignity cause I can’t live without you , you are my pride and my wife I choose you to be with me until my last breath and I promised , I will keep my promise ”

“- I never thought that one day I will have to say things like this but , I trusted you and I was so blinded by the faith I had in you that I didn’t see the lies that you tried to hide behind the trust , was I so stupid I didn’t notice how much fake it was ? or maybe was it because of your acting skills ? I didn’t notice and it was perfect romance I lived I never questioned about anything you know why ? cause I thought I was meaning something for you but certainly I wasn’t . tell me I am a perfect doll you play with and throw away once it gets boring ? or our love was just a game for you ? *and to every question he was repending with head shake every time harder then the other with pleading eyes for you to stop the questions as if it hurted him and affected his health and his all soul *our marriage and the promise , you promised me to be true , to be there with me in good times and bad ones . but what was that ? a lie ? the time we went together to pray for a child you told me that you wanted to have this child no matter what it takes us cause to was a proof of our sincere love , you said since but now I found myself alone and lost with a child dancing in me and it felt like it’s was you in me yet you was so far from me , I have missed you and I though it was okay maybe because he didn’t want to bother me when I am pregnant , but you was there with a in OUR bad *kris slowly lets his hand fall from your head to your back to fall on the bed , he tenses his fist grabbing on the bed’s cover as he bites his lower lip* it was OUR bed it had a meaning , it held love and warmth , a start of a family , moments of pain and pleasure , our talks and laughs till late night and our good morning/night kisses , and our meals curled in bed watching TV in winter . guess all of that meant nothing to you .”

You cried and so he cried he felt shame and guilty taking control of him and he didn’t see right anymore . he only thought of ways to make stop crying, he wasn’t worth your tears . yet you sobbed harder it made you suffocate , heart aching,  you was in lack of air .

He –not even thinking about his actions- with  ferociously and velocity held you in his arms and firmly blocking you from moving not knowing why. Maybe because 1^st he missed you so much he needed you and he needed to prove to you how sincere he was cause his words didn’t sound right he thought maybe his feeling may poor in your body and heart from his warmth . and 2^nd he wanted you to stop sobbing and causing yourself pain , he wanted to comfort you and make feel better .

“- you hurted me and mad me cry , broke my heart and tore my wings , but after all that I feel like I am ready to forgive and to start anew , I want to see what the future can bring for us maybe it will be better maybe god is  telling us to continue and fight together , I think I am stupid to trust you again but I do , I will regret it , Oh hell I will do , but I want to try , I want to wake up again by your side in the same bed as you , kiss you and eat breakfast together , maybe we will fight coffee or juice but I don’t really care , I was to take all of the you the bad and the good I will bear with . I choose you and I will go with you till the end .”

Kris watches you while you break the hug and face him with tears in your eyes fighting with your little hands to dry them away . he holds you hands and bring them down and kiss you , pressing his lips delicately on yours . he nibbles at your lower lip , the he breaks the kiss slowly he heavily opens his eyes to find yours still closed with your hands grabbing his t-shirt ,he smiles, and dries the tears in the corner of your eyes .

“-kris “ you sighed tenderly nearly eyes still closed

“-hmmm” he let out with his deep voice a slightly happy feel in it

“-don’t let me go !!! I am not going to open my eyes anymore , lead me to where you want I am willing to , as long as I am with you I am okay even if you betray me and let me go I will always welcome you once you come back to me .”

“- don’t worry , I will be always here for you , I am sorry and thankful for  the second chance .”

He posed for a moment studing your facial expression changing from fear to  curiousity , happiness and to hast

“-and there is a place I want to bring you to .” he said mischievously smirking

“- where is it ?? when will we go ?? what will we do ??...” you asked innocently by was shut by a wilted pair of lips kissing you hard and passionately putting his hands behind your back , with his long muscular arms to envelope your petite and delicate body . you felt small behind him he kissed you on the cheeks , behind the ears , neck , shoulder and collar bones kissing biting and nibbling on each part of the slowly and passionately making sure not hurting you , you wasn’t really used to actions of this kind you felt shy and you blushed hardly and closing your eyes harshly resisting the noises coming from your throat threatening to go out so you hide your face in your palms  what made kris amused by the scene and push your hands off your face pressing more with his body in top of you making you blush harder –it  couldn’t get any redder- and he laughed at your sweetness and innocence so you told him not to make fun of you and puch his arm . he tokk your hand and kissed it’s palm then put it on his neck kissing your lips in ways that made you forget your name .

Everything was dark but the moon was there shyly watching behind the cloudes , witness of the love that survived with purity, innocence  and a little faith and hope .

2 people loved , married , a baby was coming ,but the shock of the betrayal  caused a car crush ,

They lost the baby , but they found the love again and the passion of the old days , and the love healed with the pain as the bad memories faded and replaced with others full of smiles , joy and laughter .

T H E    E N D 

EriaXing