“You can go wash up if you want,” Namjoo said, “I just reheated the chicken you got yesterday.”

“Oh…” was all he managed before turning to look around before stepping into the bathroom.

When he turned around after closing the door he could tell she put some effort into keeping her place simply clean. There was this flowery scent swimming in the air from an air freshener. Sehun then ran his eyes over the toothbrush and toothpaste she had set aside. He the faucet and felt a small smile climb onto his lips. Sehun was feeling very light hearted that morning.

When he stepped out Namjoo had plates set out on the table and was just turning the oven off.

“Do you want help?” he asked walking into the kitchen.

“Oh, I’m done,” Namjoo told.

She turned and set a plate of the mouthwatering chicken onto the table. When they quietly ate Sehun wondered if Namjoo might make some comment about last night. He wouldn’t feel offended if she were to speak about him crying, but he found himself nervous about the impression he had left after knocking out. It was hard to remember how he’d gotten from the kitchen to the couch and he couldn’t imagine Namjoo carrying him.

His eyes drifted up from his plate of food to look at her. Namjoo seemed caught up in her food. There was this faint glow coming from her that wasn’t there before. It made her different in a way he couldn’t describe. Did something happen last night?

Sehun quickly returned to his food when Namjoo noticed his watch and looked up. When she returned to her food he took another glance at her. Definitely, there was something different about her.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll do the dishes later,” Namjoo said when he dropped his plate into the sink and reached for the sponge.

Namjoo was busy putting the chicken back into the container they had come with before placing it back into the bag. When she turned she held it out to him. Sehun just stared at it as if dumbfounded.

“You should probably get going,” she suggested. “Since you brought them, you should take them.”

He glanced at her, “You have them.”

She raised her brow.

They remained quiet before he finally said, “Then I’ll get going.”

With just that he almost walked out before recalling that he was only in his socks. Turning around a little embarrassed he searched around before spotting them by the couch. Trudging back he picked them up and quickly walked out.

*****

Namjoo had cried hard last night. She would come to terms with herself and do better. She wouldn’t cry and she would talk. Not just make simple conversation, but she would initiate them and she would talk about herself, her worries, her problems, and she would talk about Tae Joon and the woman who had crushed her. That would be the first step to loving herself again, because if she didn’t do it she would never be able to escape.

That morning she hummed away as she finished the dishes, cleaned up, and got ready for work. Namjoo tied her hair back into a bun and finally headed out in the happiest manner she had been in the longest six months.

The smile and the cheery greetings she gave her co-workers left them staring at her puzzled. Namjoo had never realized how dark she had been before last night. She would turn things around. She would.

*****

As Sehun walked out that morning he searched around the hallway. If Namjoo hadn’t yet left he thought he’d suggest going in together, but when he stopped by her apartment she didn’t seem to be in.

That day he headed to work in the same manner as any other day. Jong Kyu loudly greeted him when he arrived at work and he ran errands and completed his assignments before lunch. After purchasing a sandwich he spotted Namjoo sitting in the cafeteria listening to some music from her phone. She looked concentrated, but upbeat. She was already halfway through her meal when he approached.

Sehun watched her reach her hand out for the bag of chips she had open without looking and pushed them away from reach. The moment her fingers touched the table she looked up at him. He managed an awkward smile before sitting down while Namjoo stared. He slid the chips back to her as she pulled out her earphones.

“Just started lunch?” Namjoo asked.

He nodded.

Namjoo picked up her bag of chips and held them out, “Do you want some?”

For the mute who had previously chosen silence over speaking, she had changed. What kind of person was Namjoo really?

“I’m good,” he replied.

She clamped her lips into a smile and pulled her hand back. And when she didn’t speak anymore he glanced at her again. There was this aura floating off her that seemed emotionally captivating. What was it?

“Namjoo, In Sung brought a cake, lets go eat,” someone ran over to tap her shoulder.

“Ah…” Namjoo stood up before pausing and turned to him, “bye.” Then she followed him out of the cafeteria and disappeared around the corner.

“What’s this!?” Jong Kyu suddenly stole Namjoo’s seat.

Sehun turned surprised by him.

“You ditched me for the new girl?” Jong Kyu interrogated.

“Where’d you come from?” Sehun asked.

Jong Kyu snickered at him. “You guys got something going on you’re not telling me about, huh?”

Sehun frowned at him and slowly zoned out as he babbled on. Sehun knocked off work a tad minute early and hurried downstairs into the large lobby. It was somewhat empty and occupied by the desk receptionist and the two security guards at the front. He turned to look around and wondered if Namjoo had left early. But she usually knocked off work after him. Pressing his lips together he looked around once more before heading out to sit outside.

There was something he wanted to say to her, but he didn’t know exactly what it was. His eyes roamed over the two tall trees ahead of him as he tapped his fingers against his thighs. When the doors opened he immediately turned and almost stood, but paused when he saw it wasn’t who he was waiting for. Biting his lower lip he turned to stare ahead again.

What was Namjoo doing? What was taking her? Or had she already left?

Sehun kicked his foot against the concrete and decided he would wait for another five minutes and if she didn’t appear he’d head home. Even after five minutes went by he didn’t get up. He was certain Namjoo was still somewhere inside the building. Nearly ten minutes flashed by before the doors opened and Namjoo finally appeared. Sehun shot up to his feet and Namjoo halted in her steps surprised.

“Ah…what are you doing?” Namjoo asked before she shook her head slightly. “I mean, what are you still here for? You didn’t leave yet?”

“Oh…I…thought we could head back together,” he kind of stuttered.

Namjoo looked at him blankly before she kind of smile in a way that she said she was apologetic. “I was actually going to go somewhere else.”

His mind emptied and he just stared as if he’d forgotten how to speak.

She slightly hesitated before saying, “I was going to go to the mart. You can come, but…it might bore you.”

He took another glance at her momentarily and found himself following her through the grocery aisles. Namjoo stopped here and there to grab items off the shelf, and he wondered if she had run out of food in her apartment.

“You’re buying a lot,” Sehun commented.

“Because I only have microwavable food at my place,” Namjoo turned to look at him, “I began thinking I should start cooking again.”

What did she mean by that? But he didn’t ask anymore. Then he wondered what she was planning for dinner.

He waited with her as she checked out and held his hand out, “I’ll help.”

Namjoo looked at him a little uncertainly before she allowed him to take two bags from her.

“Sorry, if that took up some of your time,” Namjoo apologized when they hitched a taxi.

“It’s fine, I usually don’t have anything planned around this time,” he assured.

She looked at him once before turning away to look out the window.

When they arrived at the apartment building, Sehun quickly pulled out some cash from his wallet before Namjoo could hers. He managed another awkward smile when she shot him a look. It was the usual silence as they entered the elevator. While they stood he sought his memory for anything from last night, but couldn’t find anything meaningful to talk about. He didn’t want to say things that would make her think of him as rude. Then he worried about what could have happened after he out. Sehun seriously couldn’t recall anything after crying.

The elevator doors opened and he followed her down the hallway to her apartment. She first unlocked the door before turning around. Sehun handed over the bags in his hand and Namjoo seemed almost ready to close the door on him after her ‘Thanks’, but he hesitated. Heading back to his empty home of an apartment sounded less appealing than being there, and he honestly wasn’t looking forward to being alone.

“Um…” he began and continued, “last night…thank you…uh…for you know…taking care of me. I hope I didn’t trouble you much.”

“It’s fine,” Namjoo pressed her lips into a fine smile then lowered her eyes for quite a moment. “Then…I’ll see you later.”

“Oh…see you,” he stepped back and watched her close the door before reluctantly turning to walk away.

That evening he found himself uselessly sitting in his den flipping through the channels. He would stay on one for a few minutes before changing it to another. No matter what channel he landed on, his mind wasn’t focusing. Sehun didn’t want to be there by himself and he thought he was looking forward to an invite again. He was a little disappointed after all that he hadn’t been asked over. Though he was quite used to being alone, something last night had broken that. And he found himself curiously wanting to know what Namjoo was eating for dinner.

*****

Namjoo stood in the kitchen for a long time messing around with this and that before she finally sat down for dinner. Because it seemed a little too quiet she played some music from her phone and cheerily ate. For a long time, she hadn’t had a meal like this. Then after eating, she cleaned up, did the dishes, and even cleared up her apartment somewhat.

She discovered crumpled up papers and magazines underneath her couch. Namjoo went through her bedroom and gathered up everything she considered trash before walking back into her den. While her eyes browsed the apartment she realized her place had been as dead as her. There were nothing on the walls and there were no DVDs to accompany the TV. This apartment, she realized, was cold; really cold and bare.

But she would do something about it. Maybe she would find pictures of her family and put them around so that her apartment would have some warmth. Then she thought about what kinds of things she wanted in her home and how she wanted to decorate her place. The ringing of her phone disrupted her thoughts and she turned to look into the kitchen where her phone was sitting.

Slowly walking toward it she stopped by the table and stared down at the number flashing across the screen. This dreadful feeling she had become friends with over time swooned over her. She gulped before reaching for it. Her hand shook unsteadily as she answered and held the phone to her ear.

“Namjoo-ah, it’s me. I was afraid you wouldn’t answer,” the voice seemed relieved. Namjoo gave no reply. “Namjoo, I’m outside. Can you come see me? Please, I really miss you. Just let me see you for a second.”

The grip on the garbage bag tightened and she gritted her teeth. The awful man who had ruined her inside out still had the guts to keep coming back, and when she had just decided to turn over.

“Where are you?”

*****

Sehun had just had enough with being bored and decided he would go out for some air first. Once he closed the door after him he paused when he saw Namjoo walking out with a bag in hand. He stared curiously and slowly started down the hall before watching her take the stairs instead of the elevator.

It wasn’t trash day yet, so what was Namjoo doing? Allowing curiosity to get to him, he quietly followed.

*****

Tossing the trash into the dumpster Namjoo ran over inside her head just exactly what she wanted to clear out. At the sound of approaching footsteps she turned and felt the back of her shoe hit cardboard boxes. Tae Joon’s lean figure loomed over her as he desperate quickened his steps toward her. Without consent he lunged forward for her hand and held it tightly.

“Namjoo, oh Namjoo, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why Mi Young called you. You have to believe me, I’m not getting married,” he rushed the words before realizing her hand was hurt. “What happened?”

Namjoo pulled her hand out refusing to let his lies get to her, but she had to admit part of her believed him. The look of desperation on his face looked sincere…but how many times had he been able to put on that face for her? She mentally slapped herself.

“I’m...sick of your face, Tae Joon,” Namjoo pushed the words through with weight and watched his face become shocked before he reached for her arm and pulled her toward him.

“No, you don’t, you don’t, you know you don’t,” he pleadingly repeated. “You love me. Remember we were going to have a future. Please come back to me. Namjoo, you know I love you.”

“Let go, let go of me!” Namjoo struggled out of his hand, but he only seemed to grab more and more of her. “Tae Joon!” With a surge of strength she forced him back and sent a stinging slap across his face.

Silence zoomed in on them as the stars sparkled above them. Namjoo found herself heavily breathing for no real reason as she stared at the overly shocked Tae Joon who was slowly running a hand over his cheek. Throughout their whole relationship, Namjoo had never raised a hand to him. Tae Joon had never tried to hurt her physically either. In truth, they were both fair persons and maybe that was why this incident seemed to hold such impact. Deep inside Namjoo worried. She had hurt him. She had hurt him.

“Tae Joon…” Namjoo almost took a step forward suddenly very concerned now.

She’d hit him so hard that she could feel the sting soaring over the palm of her hand.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoo apologized.

“If you’re sorry, then come with me,” he tried to reason.

She stared at him for a long time before she totally calmed. Namjoo reran every single day of the last six months over in her mind and watched her dark days as if she were watching some kind of movie. Those tears were at the back of her eyes and she pressed her lips together to steady herself.

“You know, I did love you. I loved you so much and I gave you everything I had. When you broke promises I cried by myself, did you know that?” Namjoo asked. “Did you think bringing me flowers really made me feel better? You didn’t know me, you still don’t know me, and you never will. Because of you, I’ve lost myself so far back that I don’t even know who I am anymore. Can you just leave me alone?”

“Namjoo…”

Namjoo took a step back. “Why did you come now? If you came earlier, I would have gone with you. You’re late, Tae Joon. You came too late after I’ve already seen it all. If you ever thought about how I really felt, you would have tried harder to look for me, but you didn’t. You better stay away from me before I report to the cops to issue a restraining order on you.”

“You don’t mean that,” Tae Joon tried to grab her hand again, but Namjoo flung her hand back.

“I hate you.”

Namjoo watched his face contort into confusion and the kind of sadness she could no longer feel.

“No, you don’t,” he stated. “You don’t, so stop telling me that! You know from the bottom of your heart you can never love anyone else, but me! Don’t lie to yourself!”

Namjoo felt her lips tremble and her hand start to shake before she forced it into a fist. It was knocking into her head suddenly about how he was trying to brainwash her. Anger filtered through her. Tae Joon wouldn’t listen to her; he would never listen to her. It was impossible trying to reason with him. Understanding that made her bite her lip before she turned to walk away. She would never allow herself to see him again.

A shout of surprise left her when he grabbed her arm forcing her around and they barely made it to the sidewalk before the door flew open. Namjoo uncontrollably stopped when someone grasped her other arm and turned to see none other than Sehun.

“I thought she told you to get lost,” Sehun deepened his voice. 

***Sehun's finally allowing himself to get involved with Namjoo ^^ hehe look at the person who didn't want to get involved with anyone in the first place xDD But they're finally becoming friends hip hip hooray! And this glow that's catching Sehun's eyes? Hehehe It's Namjoo's resolution of happiness ^^ They say that when a person's happy, they look all the more eye-catching, and Namjoo's finally that. And she's finally talking more! Now to initiate those conversations with Sehun! xDD