Chapter 4

     At around seven thirty in the morning, I woke up fully. I was exhausted from the previous night, considering that I was woken again twice after the midnight check up, once at 3 AM and the second time at 5 AM. I sat up in the bed and yanked the needle out of my arm. A slight pain crept up in my head, but I ignored it and stood up with my unsteady legs, heading towards the bathroom to wash up for the day. I finished brushing my teeth and looked in the mirror; my hair was disheveled and there were major dark circles planted into my abnormally pale skin. I sighed and shook my head at my sickly figure before retreating back to the bed.

     A different nurse from the one that watched over me last night entered the room at around 9 AM. She handed me a tray of food for breakfast and checked the machine that was standing at the bedside. After retrieving her data, she headed towards the door to leave and I took that moment to speak up.

     "When will I be released?" I asked, watching as the nurse stopped and turned around to face me.

     "It depends on a lot of factors," she vaguely replied,"we are still deciding."

     I nodded in understanding,"Is Dr. Han in yet?"

     "Yes, but he's busy," the nurse replied before leaving the room. I frowned at how unhelpful her information was before deciding to visit him myself.

     I left the room with the door cracked open an inch before turning right, down into the white glossy hallway. Not a sound was heard except for the tapping away of the nurses on the computers and the visitors who were visiting patients. I took another right at the end of the hall and reached a desk.

     "Can I help you?" The nurse asked,"You're a patient. Do you have permission to leave your room?"

     "Uh, yeah, I do," I warily replied,"I just need to see Dr. Han."

     "He's doing morning check ups today, he won't be free until 3 PM when it's his lunch break," The nurse replied, looking back at her computer,"he's visiting someone today during lunch though."

     "Who's he visiting?" I questioned and the nurse sighed.

     "His daughter. Now, I know you don't have permission to be up and about so I'm requesting you to return back to your room."

     My eyes widened in surprise,"His daughter? Is there a way for me to contact him, like, as soon as he finishes?"

     She sighed in defeat,"He said he was going to visit a Choi Jonghyun before he left. He wouldn't go into details."

     I slowly nodded, taking in the information before spinning on my heels and walking back down the white halls that didn't give me comfort. Instead, they brought me uneasiness and fear.

     For the rest of the morning, I anxiously waited in the hospital bed with a show on the television as background noise. I paced back and forth, ate some food, and just repeated the same cycle until around 2 PM when a knock was finally heard on the door. It opened and revealed Dr. Han in casual clothes.

     "I heard you came looking for me this morning," Dr. Han said, closing the door behind him and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

     "I just wanted to ask you some questions, that's all, nothing important," I quietly replied.

     He nodded and checked his watch before looking me up and down,"You heard I was visiting Bomi, I assume, considering that you're all dressed up?"

     I stood up and stumbled slightly, but none the less bowed ninety degrees to him,"I was hoping, sir, that you'd allow me to join you."

     He stood up and stepped back a little towards the door and I thought this was automatic rejection. However, he turned around and smiled at me,"Good, I wanted you to come with me in the first place."

     I blinked in surprise,"It's okay if I go?"

     He chuckled and nodded,"I already got permission for you. Now, hurry before we miss that train."

     And just like that, I was lucky enough to leave the suffocating building, even if it wasn't for a long time, it was more than enough to keep me content.

     The first half of the train ride to Busan was filled with an incredibly awkward silence between Dr. Han and I. We sat across from each other, avoiding each other's gazes by looking out at the scenery.

     "Can I ask you a couple of questions, sir?" I whispered, still staring into the distance until I saw him turn his head from the corner of my eye.

     "Depends," he said hesitantly while picking up his cup of coffee,"what is it?"

     "When it happened,"I pauseed as I felt my heart wrench in the painful memory,"did you ever find a note or anything?"

     He solemnly smiled,"You're ready to talk about it?"

     I almost nodded, but thought twice and answered from my heart,"No, but I have questions that I want to find answers for."

     "Very well then,"he nodded before taking out his wallet and pulling out a folded, crumbled page of paper that had yellowed with age,"she left one for all of us, one for Bae, one for her mother, and one for me. Lastly, she left one for you."

     My eyes widened,"Me?"

     He slid the paper over to me and I slowly unfolded it with shaky hands,"I've been keeping it on me this whole time, just in case I ran into you. I guess now's the time for it to be returned to it's original owner."

     He looked back out into the scenery with a soft smile,"I remember how happy she was when you asked her to be your girlfriend. She came home and cried tears of joy."

     Changjo, I won't go into all the cliche love sutff. Because I already know that you don't want me to stall time with that. Because I already know that you know that I love you with all my heart. Because you already know that you're the best person I've ever loved. Because you know that you're my whole universe.

     "She ran into the kitchen, jumped into her mom's arms, and cried every ounce of liquid in her body in that sweater I bought her mom."

     I know, you're probably mad right now that I did this. But tell me honestly, would you rather see me be with another guy that isn't you? I know your answer already too,"If you'd still be here with me, I'd sacrifice my life for you. I don't care if you'd be with him, because I know I still have your heart."

     "She smiled while crying when we all came over and asked her what was wrong. She blubbered,"Changjo asked me to be his girlfriend. Can you believe it? The most amazing guy in the world asked me to be his." She burst into another round of tears after saying that."

     Changjo, baby, you were my first boyfriend, my first best friend, my first kiss, and my first and last love. Dying in such a position, I don't regret anything. Thank you so much for making my days brighter and giving me a reason to smile and live every day. And now, it's time for that to end. Don't worry, I still and always will love you, even if we're so far apart now. I love you. I'd say it a million times if I could.

     "Every day after that, she smiled so much brighter and enjoyed life so much more. Thank you for that," he smiled at the scenery.

     Just do one thing for me, love... Smile, be happy, forget me if you have to. But overall, get over my death and please, I plead you with my very last words in this world... Get over me and find another person to make you happy. I'm not going to sign this with my name because I hope, by the time you find this, you have already forgotten my name. The name you once loved.

     Happy... What is that word anymore, I thought to myself as tears flowed down my face and onto the note I can never forget.

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A/N: Hi everyone! How do you like the story so far? :D I'm so happy I finally finished a chapter omfg LOL.