Chapter 1
    Spring was approaching again; the familiar warmth beginning to surge through the sky. And again, the day of our anniversary was approaching again. The day I went from anxiously waiting for to the day that I dread the most. Why? Because all it does is bring back the memories that I so dearly wanted to forget.
    It was the day before Valentine’s day, the day that I used to look forward to so excitedly. But not this year. I’m dreading having to go to class today, being swallowed by all of the love about to be flown throughout the air. If I had it my way, I would lock myself up in my room all day, avoiding any interaction whatsoever because I, myself, know that I’ll surely break sooner or later.
    A knock came in contact with the door as it echoed throughout the room and the platform of wood opened, revealing my mother,”Changjo, I know it’s going to be hard to go to class today, but you don’t want to seem weak, do you?”
    I already am weak and everyone can see that, I thought to myself. Might as well just please her with my words for the first time in months.
    “No, I don’t. I’ll go to class.” I replied, slipping on the scarf that still had the scent of her floral perfume.
    Her face lit up instantly,”You’ll have a good day today, I know it. An maybe you’ll even find a new Valentine.”
    “I already have a Valentine. Please let me finish getting ready on my own, mother.” I snapped, spinning around on the heels of my converse.
    “Honey... Bomi,” she sighed and paused, knowing that she was going to strike another nerve.
    “I said,” I cut her off before she could bring up the past again,”I was going to get ready for class on my own.”
    She frowned, but didn’t push it any further. She should already know not to bring that up, especially not before a day that was once so special to the two of us; Bomi and I. She left the room without another word, closing the door behind her.
    Bomi and I. Even just thinking of the two of us together seemed so foreign now. No, actually, just thinking that she used to be here, smiling, seemed so foreign now. Too foreign. I closed my eyes in reminiscence until reality hit me; it can’t happen anymore. I opened my eyes, more gloomy after the memory and slipped my backpack on around my shoulders. Forget about it, I reminded myself, forget about it for a day and try to be happy. But how can I ask for the impossible? I know better than anyone that I, Changjo, will never be able to forget something that I caused.

    It’s amazing how well we take things for granted until they aren’t there anymore. For me, it was the presence of Bomi. Months ago, you would have told me that my beloved girlfriend would die in a few weeks and I would have told you simply to off. If you told me that now, I would stop everything I was doing and ask you hot to save her. How stupid was I to think that it wasn’t to happen when the signs were everywhere? Now, I look to that corner of the classroom everyday to be met with an empty desk that had collected dust. Everyday, there would occasionally be flowers on top with a card saying that Bomi will be missed. Other times when there isn’t a card, there’s a folded letter left there as if she will open it up and read it. I was one of the people to put stuff there every single passing day. Today, I placed the bouquet of red roses along with a folded letter on top of the desk. And again today, I received another pitying stare from Mr. Shin.
    “It’s almost Valentine’s day,” Mr. Shin notes, looking for my expression as he made his way towards the desk.
    “I’ve been reminded once or twice this morning,”I nodded, still staring at the gifts I had left on the desk.
    “Are you planning anything this year?” He asked, looking at the desk as well.
    “I’m visiting her, that’s for sure.” I replied, my eyes misting over with memories of the times I would visit her at her old home that was now rented off to an elderly couple after the parents and little brother moved.
    He nodded in understanding and lightly patted my shoulder, a gesture saying that he “was here if I needed to talk”. He left and sat back down behind his desk in front of the classroom. I took my seat on the opposite side of Bomi’s desk, also known as across the entire room. The bell rang a moment after and students began to pile in. Bomi’s friends entered and gave me an awkward smile, yet anyone can tell that everyone was pitying me. Everyone tried to tone down the talk about boyfriends and girlfriends today, knowing that bringing up Bomi on this day would be a bad decision. Smart, I admit.
    During lunch, I stayed in the classroom with my earphones in while my friends conversed around me, knowing that I didn’t want a say whatsoever in their conversation. It’s sad to see how anti-social I had become after Bomi left. It’s like I have no inspiration to keep my life going anymore and I’m pretty sure that my friends knew that too.
    “...I miss the times when Changjo was happy.” I heard the five of my friends whisper to each other. There was no music playing in the earphones, so I heard them perfectly clear.
    “I’m sure we all do,”C.A.P said and I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep.
    “You can’t blame him,”Chunji sighed,”you can’t really expect him to get over the whole thing in only a couple of months.”
    “But that’s the thing. I honestly don’t think that he will be able to get over it, maybe, ever.” Ricky muttered quietly, and I could hear the playfulness in his voice slip away. He was serious. He thought I was going to be a wreck for the rest of my life. I’m pretty sure that’s what is going to happen though. My happiness was drained out of my life.
    “I don’t know what we can do though. He doesn’t want to accept our help.” Niet sighed, unsure of what to do.
    “The only way that he can get better is if he sees, first, that Bomi doesn’t want him to be hung over about this. Second, he needs to see that he needs to move on,” C.A.P said and held out a hand before L.Joe could comment,”harsh, I know, but it’s reality. He can’t keep living his life like a circle for eternity.”
    So this is how they feel about it. About me. About time. Why doesn’t anyone understand me? They all make it sound like I’m a crazy mental patient, but they don’t understand. Saying that I need to move on, don’t they know how much pain I’m going through already? Oh goodness. Here it comes. I’m gonna lose my temper soon if I don’t get out of here. If I don’t get out-
    I was already hyperventilating with my eyebrows furrowed. Immediate pain gathered in my head and a familiar, large migraine attacked my head as I began to sweat from fear and pain. All the feelings were suddenly all too vivid.
    “CHANGJO! OH MY GOD!” Shouts from the others were spinning around my head and they all got up, surrounding me.
    All of a sudden, the pain in my heart struck again as the memory of the day I lost my dearest Bomi appeared and my whimpers became more and more audible until they turned into screams. Oh, God. Here it was again, the pain that follows up in my head after the screaming. My head felt like it would burst into a million pieces in any second and I was terrified again. More memories continued to replay and more screams were heard and more shouts for me to get into my right mind were heard and-

    I woke up hours later on the bed of the nurse’s office, towel draped across my forehead and a shot in my arm. Typical routine, I suppose. That was the end of the school day for me as the nurse called my parents, telling them that I’d be dismissed. I left the office and started walking home, the migraine gone but the aftermath of the drowsiness for me occurred. I knew this would happen; I should’ve just let my parents pick me up. But then I realized, what am I so afraid of if I collapse? Maybe then I will realize what everyone means by “getting over the situation”. And that’s exactly what happened next.