lies once said

FALLING APART.

NICHKHUN’S POV

 

 

Silence filled the air as we sipped on our drinks, avoiding the long-needed confrontation. Waves of tension were bouncing back and forth between us, minutes passing by. I could feel the regret seeping in but had no idea as to where I could begin. Where are you supposed to begin when you don’t even know how things left off?

“Victori-, “I said before she cut me off, letting out a light but lifeless voice. “I thought you wanted this to end.” My eyes roamed upwards, away from my drink and towards her set of eyes. At that point, I couldn’t tell what she wanted to hear from me. There was an empty expression resting on her features, one that struck a chord inside of me. Those bright smiles I brought her before have faded. Those smiles were proof to me that I could make the girl I liked happy and that was a source of my happiness.

Her voice interrupted my thoughts again, but this time her expression was no longer blank. Her teeth sunk into her lower lip, taking a deep breath before she continued. “When we began, I was simply happy and content. When we were together, I was on cloud nine. When we ended, you buried my chance of happiness along with our relationship,” and by the end, her voice was threatening to give out. Instantaneously, I felt the guilt drowning me and I struggled to find a way out.

Attempting to plead my case, I continued, “Victoria... Don’t say that. I didn’t mean any of this to happen.”

“Whatever feelings I have for you ended the moment you walked out of that door,” her words stung like a knife being slowly lodged into your chest. I tried not to remember how it all lead to this. Two years ago I wouldn’t let her out of my sight for a moment. I swore she was the reason I lived day to day. Knowing I would see her face again another time made me grow attached. People said we would never end. The task was to put on a show of emotions that would be for the fans, proving to them that I was a loving character.

The last day of the show, we both cried. We didn’t cry because we wouldn’t see each other again, we didn’t expect the past two years to happen. We cried because we were told to cry but deep down we knew about the inevitable end.

A month was wasted away as soon as the show ended. The grueling month of disappointment brought distance between both of us. JYP couldn’t care less if we dated, considering one of the Wonder Girls is now married. The only problem was on her half, her half at SM Entertainment. Anyone who listens to Korean music, lives in Korea, or is an idol knows that SM Entertainment is the cruelest of them all. They make great idols but they only care about money and appearance. They ended our show because they wanted to end us.

But congratulations, it worked. For a month communication was minimal and we didn’t even bother thinking of meeting each other in person. They put her to work as much as they could, giving her no hour of the day where she had even ten minutes to spare with her ex-husband.

Selfish. That’s what I was. The one night that we could meet, February 14th 2012, marks the day that everyone’s beloved ‘Khuntoria’ came to an end. That night, we stood on the rooftop of where I once sang and played the piano to her. The same place where she told me she liked me. Victoria, bundled up in her winter clothes, smiled softly up to me with a hint of red on her cheeks. “At least we get to see each other on Valentine’s day,” she chuckled, gleaming up at me with those gentle eyes. My expression on the other hand was the exact opposite. I would be lying if I said that I cared for her at all that day.

Her hands reached upwards, cupping my cheeks as she brushed them softly with her thumbs. “Cheer up, Nichkhun-ssi,” whispered Victoria, still wearing that bright expression she had when I first met her.

I brought my grip to her wrists, pulling her hands down and back to her side, and then crossing my arms across my chest. “Victoria! Stop. What makes you think one night can change anything? What gave you the idea that we could continue this long? It’s been six months since the show ended, don’t you get it? We’re through. Quit fooling yourself.”

“What gave me the idea? You said it yourself. You came up with the idea!”

“It’s unfortunate that I can’t take it back now, right?”

“Then what? You didn’t mean everything you said to me on that show?”

“No. I didn’t.” I took a step back from her. “I only said those things for the fans, but it’s okay. Both of us gained something out of this. You’re a lot more popular than you were before, isn’t that why you joined the show?”

“I was forced into the show but I was dumb enough to believe that I gained something more than just a virtual marriage. You should have told me this a long time ago then. Why couldn’t you just tell me that? Was it that hard? If you said something earlier, we could have tried harder and found ways to be together more often.” she lowered her head as she spoke with her voice failing her gradually. I wanted to see her face. The only thing that stood in front of me was a girl with her hair covering her face.

A teardrop fell to the floor. If I looked away for even a second I would have missed it but unfortunately I didn’t. My stomach dropped but I chewed on my inner lip and continued. “That’s not even it. I can’t be with someone who can’t even hold on to her own pride, trying so hard to hold on to a relationship that doesn’t exist.” I my heel and walked away from her.

Her heavy sobs filled the atmosphere, stopping me for a brief second as she called my name softly under her staggering breath. It was like my heart was being stabbed over and over again, but I couldn’t admit it to myself.

You wanted this. This is the freedom that you were asking for. You won’t hang on to someone so pitiful. My thoughts were trying to push me away from her, convincing myself that I should leave and move on without her.

The voice behind me, the sniffling, and the movement all stopped in one second as I turned my head back around. She brought her gaze up and I saw her puffy eyes. For the first time, she looked like an empty vessel waiting to be filled with bitterness.

“I won’t lie and say that I am not hurt. Just because I apparently didn’t mean anything to you, doesn’t mean you didn’t mean anything to me. Some things are just unrequited and I can accept that. If you choose to leave right now, I’ll take that as your last goodbye to me. I’ll accept that you’re leaving my life but you have to agree to never come back.”

It was like she used her last breath of air. I quickly turned around, unable to bear the image of her like-so. I knew that if I thought too hard then I couldn’t leave her but I hurt her too much to come back. I wanted to take back everything I said. The urge to turn around and run back to her, holding her in my arms and telling her I was sorry was overwhelming.

They told that if I cared for a girl, I should show her the world and make her happy in every way possible. But they also told me that if I couldn't make her happy, I should give someone else the chance. So I walked out the door and down those steps, forcing myself out of her life because I knew I didn't make her happy anymore. I stopped trying to show her the world. I didn't deserve her anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

- - - - - - - -

Honestly, I never edit these chapters. I feel like if I did, I would change the entire thing and the entire concept. Anyway, I decided that I'm gonna just make this into an ACTUAL fic. It won't just be a two shot anymore.

On another note, this chapter is basically a look back on how they 'unofficially' ended. I made it so that they ended aprox. 6 months after Khuntoria's WGM days ended because it ended in August. When he starts back on the flashbacks, he has a couple thoughts about the month after the show ends. The larger portion of the flashbacks is their break up on Feb 14th 2012, a year from where the story is actually set (modern day).

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Comments

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BaoRue #1
Please update this fic. i will not lose hope and will keep waiting! fighting!
Kpopcornluvr #2
Chapter 2: will you be updating this fic? i hope you do!
Khuntoria_6110 #3
Chapter 2: So sad, but great fanfic! Please update soon!
RedGem #4
Chapter 2: HUHU when are you going to update? I've been checking back for this fanfic to continue but I guess youre really busy T_T please update soon.
RedGem #5
Chapter 2: Weepeee! Thank you for writing the 2nd chapter!
So it was Khun who ended things between them, and regretting it in the end. I hope the next chapters will explain why he does so.
Thank you again and I'll be waiting!
aarasa #6
Chapter 2: First of all, Yay yay yay! thank you for deciding to make this into an actual fic instead of a 2 shot! I'm so happy :D Secondly, ooh this chapter is good! As much as I wanna whack Khun for making Vic cried, I think there's some underlying reason why he said those cruel words to her. Hmmm....I guess I'll have to wait till the next chapter to find out what really happened between them. Overall, it's a very good start of (what I'm sure is going to be) a very good fanfic! Keep up the good work ^^
RedGem #7
Chapter 2: OH and one more thing it would also be good idea if you are going to follow both of their real lives, I mean what happened in reality to both Khun and Victoria, it would be something like going "behind the scenes".
RedGem #8
Chapter 2: aarasa's suggestion is really good. Hey, no worries. You can update as often as you want (but don't make it too long :))
But really you have to continue this fanfic. Like I said this is really a promising story AND you definitely have to make Khuntoria end up together in the end!
aarasa #9
Chapter 2: Just giving you some ideas. First, Khuntoria must end up together pls! preferably a happy ending would be nice.
Second, judging from what you wrote in the 1st chapter, there are many ways you can make this story longer. Ex, a suspense/drama fic. Vic was in a hurry, running away from someone she thought was snooping around. If you want, you can make it so that there really is someone snooping/stalking Vic (okay, I know you'll need to think more about the details of the plot, but it could be a start) Or you could make it a melodrama-ish kinda story. In the 1st chapter Khun was reminiscing about his time with Vic and he asked her where has she been for the past 2 years? Well you could think of something dramatic-ish that could have happen during the past 2 years that prevented them from seeing each other. Or you could even do a rom-com fic. I know that the tone of your 1st chapter doesn't scream rom-com, but you can turn it around in the 2nd chapter. Some misunderstanding, she blames him, he blames her, they fight trying to out win one another and fall in love again in the process? hahaha I'm just blabbering to be honest. I just want to read Khuntoria fic and I think you have what it takes to write a good story :)
P.S. sorry for the long comment :P
aarasa #10
Chapter 1: what are you talking about? this is great! Please make this a long story. I totally agree with you that there's not enough fics of Khuntoria! ^^