Leaders Don’t Cry

Disclaimer: I do not own by any means the people of 2NE1 and Big Bang. So please do not sue, they belong to YG Entertianment. If I did own them G-Dragon would have been tied in my closet but he isn’t, now is he? ;)

A/N: So I was listening to the song Haru Haru by Big Bang and I was inspired by the words and the music video. So let’s just see where this will go for CL and G-Dragon. :3

Ji-Yong POV

I really miss you Chaerin. Why’d you have to leave me like that? Why’d you leave US like that? It’s just not fair that you can leave me and not feel sorry for me, for you to leave us so selfishly. What happened to the cute Chaerin I remember? You used to tell me when you would leave for long periods of time even though I wouldn’t, but this was different, that’s why you couldn’t tell anyone good bye right? Why did you have to leave me, the G-Dragon of Big Bang alone in this world? You left Dara, Minji, and Bom to fend for themselves without their fearless leader, you left SeungRi to cry about you every night… left Seung Hyun to mope around… Young Bae hasn’t been the same since you left us all without as much as a goodbye. YG misses you too and Teddy wishes that he could produce one more song with you… or at least finish the one you were working on before what happened. Couldn’t you tell them to tell us all that you’re going to leave? Couldn’t you tell me that you loved me one last time? I guess not since I came in too late. I should’ve been with you that night and then nothing like this would have happened. We’d be going together. I blame myself for what happened and I know everyone blames me too… if we hadn’t fought that night you’d still be right here besides me finishing this song.

-Flashback & end of POV-

“Chagiya, why are you being this difficult about this?” Ji-Yong asked as he tried to chase down the blonde haired female. His hand grabbed her wrist and she slapped it away. Her eyes were on the verge of tears but he knew that she wouldn’t cry in front of him. She never cried in front of people ever since they had that conversation about how leaders never cried. Chaerin was not about to break that rule again as she pushed him away from him.

“Don’t call me that while we’re fighting Kwon Ji-Yong! I’m sick of this! I’m sick of everything and how you’re being so selfish about things like this! I’m sick of waiting for you to come home every night! I get that you’re a musician but so I am but I still come home or at least call! You ignore my calls and texts! You don’t even bother telling me you’re staying late when we’re recording together!” She yelled and the normally calm and icy cold 2NE1 leader was losing it. She couldn’t believe she had put up with G-Dragon and his inconsiderate behavior for so many years. She was exhausted at this point and maybe even didn’t want anything to do with him. Chaerin pulled her arm from him and was headed right out the door, it was about seven at night and people were looking in from their offices at the two entertainers.

The two never fought at least never in public, their private life was exactly that. Private and if they fought it was in the privacy of their apartment or the group apartments where the rest of 2NE1 or Big Bang could be in the middle and stop things before they got too insane. The reason for all their fighting was because they never had time for each other anymore like they used to. Three years of Chaerin’s life had been dedicated to Ji-Yong but it’s like he stopped caring after the first two. He followed right after her through the hallway still tugging at her wrist or her jacket trying to make her stop from leaving but she was strong of a girl even though she was 5”4 and 99 pounds. “Chaerin, can we please talk about this calmly and peacefully? Don’t be so michin about it.” He sighed but his choices of words were not the best.

“Michin?! Crazy?! I’ll show you michin! You can stay here and work on your music while I go back to the apartment and grab my ! Don’t even bother showing up to the 2NE1 apartment because no one’s answering for you!”  she yelled and left him standing there like an idiot and everyone guards, producers, managers, and entertainers just looked at him with mocking expressions. Ji-Yong hated how everyone was looking at him that way and stormed up the stairs, turning off his phone so he could be left alone to write some lyrics and finish up the song he was doing before Chaerin had gone off on him. What the hell was her problem? She’s been like this for like a month now, being extra clingy and un-understanding. Maybe this was the best thing to do right now. Let her go and let her be with someone who can call her and be there for her more than I can. Music is my life and so is she, it’s just that music was here in my life first. Ji-Yong thought to himself as he went back to the elevator to the studio.

Maybe I was over exaggerating a little bit; I can’t leave anyways right now. I need to stay. When he gets home whatever time it is… I will wait for him. Chaerin thought to herself as she slowed down at the red stoplight. Taking a deep breath she looked at herself in the mirror of the car as she waited for the light to change. Looking over her messy hair she pushed her bangs to the side in a part and leaned back in the seat of her lambo missing her beloved Ji-Yong and wishing that it was her in the passenger’s seat as he drove with her.

The light turned green now as she thought about her apologies and telling him that she was sorry for being clingy and why she was doing it in the first place and Chaerin went to go. Her car was halfway across the intersection before something happened and everything went black.

3:20 in the morning.

Ji-Yong had felt something in the pit of his stomach that wasn’t hunger but he brushed it off as just getting anxious about seeing all of Chaerin’s things from the apartment. When Chaerin made threats like this she was always serious. Once they got into a huge fight and she really did grab her things and go. Ji-Yong smiled and chuckled a bit at the thought because he ended up going over to the 2NE1 apartment and begged for her to come back to the apartment they shared. It was little memory that he loved and missed. He should have gone after her and made her stay like he had done before. Should have told her that he loved her and begged her not to go. But he didn’t.

Knowing that he should at least call her now he turned his phone back on and saw that there was at least seventeen missed phone calls and over forty-five text messages. He was used to seeing things like this from the other members when he and Chaerin got into fights. He took a deep breath and was sorting through all of the messages seeing if Chaerin had texted him at all. Just as he thought they were all from Bom noona, Dara noona, Minji, and the rest of Big Bang asking where he was. He was so used to this now but he wanted to find Chaerin’s message and there was nothing from her.

Voicemails?  This is new. He thought to himself  because no matter how bad the fight was no one ever sent him a voicemail because everyone hated to nag. “Ji! Where the hell are you?! It’s about Chae!” one message from Seung Hyun had said. “GD?! Please answer your phone!” Bom noona’s message went. He started to get worried now that everyone was asking where he was or what was going on… they were all worried yells not angry yells. Changing and going through all his voicemails he finally got to the very last message and from a number he didn’t know.

“Mr. Kwon, your number was on speed dial for Miss Lee and we regret to inform you of the situation. She had gotten to an accident at around eight this evening. Please come to the Seoul hospital as soon as possible. She is unconscious but I’m sure she would want you here.” The voicemail said as calmly as possible but Ji-Yong’s stomach dropped and his heart felt like it exploded. That was why his stomach hurt, why his chest was in pain. This was why. Checking the time that the voicemail came in it hurt even more, it had come in so many hours ago.

Jumping up from his place in front of the studio panel he ran out and with as much speed as his tired body could handle ran into the parking lot. Getting into his car he raced off to the hospital. He was glad though that there was practically no one in the streets for he had no regard for stoplights right now as he drove. When he ran into the hospital everyone was still there and they were all depressed. He went to Bom and shook her, “What’s going on?!” He yelled and Bom slapped him in the face.

“Where have you been?! Why weren’t you here?! Why did you let this happen?!” She yelled and hit his chest over and over again as she cried and Seung Hyun took his girlfriend’s arm, pulling her back into his arms. Ji-Yong and rubbed his chest as he looked at them both, he was dumbfounded and didn’t know what to do now.

“What happened?” He asked again and Minji came over to him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him away from ear shot of everyone because the news would make them all cry. All of Big Bang was there, as was 2NE1 of course even Teddy and Kush had come for support of Chaerin but there was no point now.

“Ji-Yong oppa… CL-roo passed away a few minutes ago from complications in the surgery after the accident.” She whispered holding back tears. For the maknae to be able to say something like that without crying was impossible but here she was trying to stay strong for everyone.

 Ji-Yong pushed away from Minji and went into the back, pushing and shoving past doctors and nurses. People looked at the famous Big Bang leader like it was a music video but this was no video… he wished it was because he didn’t want to lose her without telling her that he loved her. He didn’t want to let her go without telling her that he was sorry. He went into the hall just as they were carting away Chaerin’s body and pushed a mover away, he shook her over and over. “Chaerin! I’m sorry! I’ll call you every day and come home on time! Please let this be a sick joke to get back at me! Please don’t leave me!” He yelled as the doctors tried to pull him away from Chaerin’s pale and cold body. He reached out to here but she wouldn’t move no matter how hard he tried. “Chagiya! Saranghae! Saranghae!” He yelled over and over again being pulled away by security.

-End Flashback Ji-Yong’s POV-

 That was the saddest day of my life; I will never forgive myself for what happened either. I tried to blame everyone but me, I tried to blame the driver, I even tried to blame Chaerin for being so reckless. But if I had just called her and not have ignored her calls she would be right here besides me now…  If I had just told her if I was going to be late she would be right here with me but it’s too late now. So here I am fiddling with her phone that the doctor and the rest of 2NE1 had said should go to me. I realized something sad as I looked through it. She had saved every text message I had sent her. The ones where I said I loved her and that I missed her, all the ones that hurt the most. There was one though where I didn’t know would affect me so much. It was from the doctors.

“Miss Lee congratulations! I hope that you and the father have a good life together with your new child. Please come in regularly for visits for the help in developing a strong and healthy baby. Who knows maybe the baby will grow up to follow in your foot steps.”

They say that leaders are not supposed to cry and that we are to be strong and not impose our burdens on our other members. But I cried that night at the hospital… every night and morning where you weren’t besides me… and when I read that text message. I broke the golden leader rule. Leaders don’t cry.