It took Chaerin all her will power and strength to drag her reluctant body across the room. She wrung her clammy hands together and bit her bottom lip nervously. Her long blonde hair draped past her ears like curtains shielding her tear-stained cheeks while her swollen eyes were diligently concealed by dark shades. Bom held her gently by the shoulders and urged her forward. She was here to bid her final farewell to a dear friend and brother.

 ***

“Chaerin-ah! Where are you? Man you’ve gotta try this! I’m having so much fun!” Seungri shrieked into the phone and let out an ecstatic laugh. Chaerin frowned noticing his slightly slurred speech and overly animated demeanour, something vastly different from his mood in the morning.

“Yah Seungri, are you drunk?”

“What! Seungri doesn’t get drunk!” he replied defensively.

Chaerin rolled her eyes; he was clearly drunk. She sighed, “Where are you now?”

“I’m in my car! I’m going at like-,” Seungri squinted at the speedometer but he could not make out the numbers, “Whatever it is it’s fast! I’m flooring it I tell ya. Man, this is the life! Chaerin-ah, you’re totally missing out.”

“Yah, listen to me,” Chaerin demanded, her voice urgent and anxious, “Lee Seunghyun, you pull over right now.”

“Don’t be such a spoilsport! I’m having fun Chaerin.” Seungri whined.

“Seungri, it’s dangerous, you could get hurt-”

“Whatever Chaerin, whatever!” Seungri cut her off harshly, “Don’t act like you actually care about me! Leave me alone, go and be happy with Jiyong hyung.”

“Seungri please, you’re my best friend, of course I care about you! Please just stop the car, let’s talk about this okay,” Chaerin pleaded.

“Chae don’t do this, you’re making it hard for me to forget you,” Seungri growled. His vision started to blur and warm droplets slid down his face.

“Ri…”

“Why Chae, why can’t it be me? I’m sorry, I know I’m being selfish but I just can’t let you go, at least not now. It’s been years Chae, I’ve loved you for years, why can’t you feel the same way?” Seungri sobbed into the phone.

“Years?” Chaerin choked, her eyes widened in disbelief. Tears started to well up in her eyes as she wondered how she could have missed the signs. All these while she only thought of him as a close friend and brother. She realized how much the news must have hurt him. “Seungri-ah, I’m… I’m so sorry…” she whispered suppressing a sob.

“Just… Just leave me alone Chae,” Seungri said wearily and dropped the line. He tossed his phone onto the passenger seat and grabbed the steering wheel with both hands. His body trembled silently as he tried to hold in his sobs and his hands gripped the steering wheel till his knuckles turned white.

“I’m sorry Seungri but Jiyong and I are dating.”

Those words, each one of them were like sharp blades slashing away at his heart. He tried to get them out of his mind but they would not budge. Like a spoilt record, it kept replaying, adding salt to his bleeding wounds.

It took Seungri years to muster the courage to confess his feelings to Chaerin, his closest friend since childhood. Through the years, he struggled with his feelings and many a time felt confused and uncertain. He thought he knew everything about her but he was wrong; he never knew about Jiyong. When he saw the way she looked at him, he felt as though his heart was ripped out and kicked across the floor.

“Yo dongsaeng! We wanted to announce it during my birthday party this weekend but I guess you got to know it before the rest,” Jiyong smiled as he ran over to where they were standing and took Chaerin’s hand in his. Chaerin turned to look up at Jiyong and flashed him a brilliant smile.

“How long?” Seungri muttered.

“About a year now...” Chaerin murmured sheepishly, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”

“So…” Jiyong started looking at Seungri expectantly.

“Congratulations,” Seungri choked out. He forced a smile onto his face and held out the flowers that he used to confess to Chaerin earlier, “Just take these as, well… A congratulatory gift…”

Chaerin’s eyes turned to crescents as she received the flowers, “Thanks Seungri, I knew you would understand.”

“No I don’t understand!” Seungri let out an anguished yell as the memory flashed through his mind. From the corner of his eye he could see his phone screen flashing and buzzing agitatedly. Even without checking, he knew the calls were from Chaerin. “Argh!” he yelled out in frustration and slammed his foot down on the gas pedal.

 ***

Chaerin peered frightfully as they lifted the sheets to reveal the body beneath. She tightened her grip on Bom’s arm as his face entered her line of sight. Her chest tightened and a lump formed in as her mind registered the familiar face. There he laid, pale, unmoving, lifeless. Chaerin sank to the ground, her body shaking uncontrollably. Hot torrents of grief coursed down her face and her racking sobs filled the room. Bom lowered herself and pulled Chaerin into a tight embrace as she pressed a fist to her chest in attempt to quell the aching emptiness she felt.

 ***

“Why is he not picking up!” Chaerin muttered angrily as she dialled Seungri’s number for the umpteenth time. She hissed irritably and flung her phone onto her bed. She paced the room, her arms akimbo, racking her brain for other ways in which she could reach him.

“Jiyong,” She gasped and snatched up her phone.

“Hunchae?” Jiyong’s voice rang through on the third ring.

“Oppa, I’m worried about Seungri,” Chaerin mumbled, “He’s upset.”

“I know Hunchae, the guys and I were drinking and he spilled everything,” Jiyong sighed. “Then he dashed off so Yongbae and I are chasing after him now,” Jiyong continued, his eyes focused on the metallic gleam of the silver car ahead, illuminated only by the light from their headlamps.

“Oppa, please keep him safe,” Chaerin sniffled.

“I will, I promise,” Jiyong answered.

Chaerin twirled her hair and averted her eyes to the ground, “Oppa?”

“Hmm?”

“Be careful.” There was a slight pause before she added, “Saranghae.”

“I love you too. I’m sorry things turned out this way,” his voice became gentle and apologetic. There was a slight pause in the conversation as Chaerin let out a despondent sigh.

“It’s not your fault,” Chaerin began but was cut off by Jiyong’s sudden yell, “ Seungri!” Chaerin vaguely heard the sound of a car screeching to a halt in the background.

“Call you back Hunchae!” Jiyong said hastily and dropped the line before Chaerin could ask him what happened.

When Chaerin received a call later, it was not from Jiyong like she expected.

“Chaerin-ah?”

“Bom unnie?”

“Chaerin-ah, Seungri, he… he’s dead,” Bom’s voice broke as she said the last word.

“What? Are you serious? Unnie, this isn’t funny,” Chaerin warned.

Bom took a deep breath to prevent herself from breaking down again, “He’s gone Chaerin. I’m coming to get you, we have to see him. You need to see him.”

“Seungri, he… he’s dead.”

Those words resonated in Chaerin’s mind but she did not seem to register it. It felt foreign and for the life of her she could not summon the emotions that accompanied this news. She did not feel sorrow, grief, or anger, she just felt lost. Only when she was safely tucked in the backseat of Bom’s car did the waterworks begin.

 ***

 Chaerin reached out a hand to touch Seungri’s face but retracted it at the last moment. Aside from the bluish tinge of his skin, he looked as though he was sleeping peacefully. Guilt gnawed at Chaerin’s insides. “If only I had known, if only I had known how you felt, you won’t be lying here right now,” she thought to herself.

Her eyes scanned his features, from his thick brows to his thin lips. She realised how much he had grown since she first knew him. The thought that he would no longer annoy her, she would never be able to see his playful grin and that Seungri would no longer be there for her was heart-wrenching.

“I’ll miss you so much,” she whispered as new tears began to flow.

A/N: Here's chapter I! So how is it? I hope it isn't too bad >< By the way, I forgot to mention that this will be a really short story. The next chapter's probably the last, I'm still working on it now so hopefully I'll be able to get it up soon! 

Also just wanna say thanks to my two subscribers, didn't expect anyone to subscribe so soon! Sorry for keeping you guys waiting!