An hour has never been so long. Every single tick of the seconds that passes felt like an eternity, torturing Jinri’s mind in every way possible. Jinri weakly rests her head on the wooden door again for the umpteenth time that afternoon as she hasn’t moved an inch from the spot she was an hour ago. A sigh escapes her plump lips, before she bits her lower one in anxiousness when her eyes fall on her wrist watch. Finally, it is already an hour. Luhan would knock on her door anytime now.

Even after an hour, Jinri still can’t make up her mind about whether she should open the door for Luhan or not. Opening it means that she would give him another chance for their relationship while doing otherwise would result in ending their relationship for good. To be honest, Jinri has no idea what is hindering her from accepting Luhan back. All this time, she has been reasoning that the cause of her uneasiness in this relationship is her insecurity of Luhan’s feelings toward her and his habit to hide the truth of his past from her. However, her previous encounter with him and the subsequent letter that comes from him today has shown her how genuine he is about his love for her and answered her doubt. So, what is still deterring her from accepting him again?

Maybe, that is because Jinri is still unsure about her own feelings toward him. Does she love him? What is love, anyway? If love means desire, then, yes, she loves him, as he is simply drop-dead gorgeous and she just can’t keep her mind and hands away from him whenever he is around. If love means care, then that is also a ‘yes’ for her since she cares enough about him that she bothered asking—and literally nagging as well as interrogating—Yixing, who is her mentor and boss, about Luhan’s well being after their break up. If love is always wishing for the other’s happiness, then that is a ‘yes’ too, because Jinri has never, and probably would never, thought twice before doing everything in her capacity to see his smile. So, why does she feel there is something holding her back from him? Why does it feel as if she would regret it if she takes him back?

Knock, knock.

Jinri’s heart almost stops at the sound of the first knock. Luhan is right there, less than an inch away from her, only separated by the thick, wooden door. Jinri gulps down her saliva nervously; her fingers find their ways around the stalks of the bouquet and clench around it forcefully that she almost breaks the fragile flowers. She shuts her eyes close and bits her lower lips again nervously. Should she open it?

Knock, knock.

As she grows older, she realizes that she can’t carelessly fall in love with anyone, because she can’t make a living out of love and feelings. Luhan, in the other hand, provides enough evidence that he can support her with financial stability from his current job and his meticulousness in managing his wealth. Although her parents would—most possibly—still hate him for what he did to her years ago and look down on him for his rebellious red-head and piercings, they might give him a second thought if he gave them a ride with his luxurious car and showed them around his not-so-humble abode. After she reached her twenties, her parents has always insisted that ‘monetary security is a priority’ whenever she shows any interest in the boys around her, for anything may happen when she falls into a relationship. Luhan has also proven his worth, but why is there still hesitance in her heart?

Knock, knock.

It’s the third knock already. Jinri opens her eyes, ignoring the thundering heartbeats that are ramming against her ribcage. Her gaze falls on the bunch of flowers in her hand. Small cards are sticking out from the bottom of the bouquet that she decides to lose her grip on it. She takes the yellowish card that is hanged on the purple hyacinths with a thin, white ribbon. It says, ‘Purple hyacinth: ‘please forgive me’’. The innocent-looking cards seem to contain the meaning of the flower, so she carefully unties the bouquet and takes the card on the rose’s stems. This one says, ‘Red roses: ‘love’’. However, her fingers start shaking after she reads the card tied around the baby’s breath.

‘Baby’s breath: everlasting love’

That is probably what scares Jinri the most. Although her current relationship with Luhan started with casual and alcohol, he has been dropping signs—the nonchalant comments, the eternal jewelries, and now the flower—that he wants her to stay around him, longer than she could have imagined. She is afraid that once Luhan returns to her and shares his darkest secrets, there will be no way out for her; she will forever be stuck around the red-haired guy with wing-tattoo engraved on his back. She is terrified with the idea that she would end up giving her heart, wholly, to the man that drinks alcohol as if it were water and smokes like a freaking fireplace; a man who isn’t as pure or as perfect as she has originally thought.

Jinri lets the baby’s breath falls from her hold, hitting the floor soundlessly. She closes her eyes again while taking a deep breath, trying to calm herself. The silence that comes afterward, however, is nerve-wrecking. The third knock turns out to be the last knock that Luhan does, as only quietness fills Jinri’s ears. Her heart starts to speed up at the absent of the familiar sound and her eyes snaps open. He is really leaving.

As much as Jinri is afraid of letting Luhan back into her life, right now she also can’t think about having one without him in it. She can’t picture living without his bright, beaming smile; without his warmth wrapped around her body; without his gentle words of encouragement; without his unspoken yet earnest care; without him. Jinri feels something wet hits her skirt and when she looks down to her lap, droplets of water has darkened her once bright, purple skirt. Her hand flies to cover , making her sobs onto her palms. Before she can comprehend it, she has already stood up and opened the door.

A gasp escapes her when she bumps into a solid figure instead of empty air. She raises her head up, and through her blurred vision, she can still outline a smile on Luhan’s face.

“Hello, Jinri. I did tell you that I will leave you for good when you don’t answer your door, but I didn’t tell you when I’ll go, did I?”

Without any words spoken, Jinri wraps her hands around his neck and buries her dampened face on his chest. Yes, she is scared of the possibility that he will stuck around her forever, but she is more afraid of not seeing him again in her life. Luhan softly encircles her with his lean arms; his chin resting atop her head. His lips, then, ghost on top of her head lovingly. She can feel him swallowing back his tears before his head goes lower, bringing his lips to her ear level.  His voice is trembling when he asks her the question she knows is coming.

“Jinri, can I come in?”

Luhan isn’t only literally asking for her permission to enter her apartment; he is questioning something much deeper than that. He is asking if she would let him comes into her life again, if he could re-enter her heart one more time.

Jinri’s hands on Luhan’s nape tighten their hold on him when she nods silently as her answer. Her fingers dug deeper to his skin near the end of his red hair as she uses them as a support when she stands on her tiptoes with her face raised upward to meet his. She can get a glimpse of his glassy, reddened eyes before she shuts her own teary eyes when she chastely covers his lips with hers.

Luhan is stunned with her sudden action but he responds well. He slowly closes his eyes, letting a lone tear falls to his flawless, porcelain-like cheeks. He deepens the kiss passionately, ripping off the innocence from the act that she started and giving more heat to the skin-to-skin connection between them. His hands forcefully pull her closer into his embrace, as if afraid that she would run away if he doesn’t.

Jinri doesn’t have any idea how, but between the kissing, the lips nibbling, the , the , and the , Luhan manages to push her through the door frame and turns her around so that her back is against the now-closed door—the same door she has been leaning on for the past one hour. When they finally break apart and he rests his forehead on hers, she feels her swollen lips contort into a smile and so are his reddened lips, stained with her lipstick. Although her breath is still ragged, she pulls him down into another quick, gentle kiss.

Luhan isn’t perfect—Jinri knows that well— and she still has so much to learn about him, but she will try to embrace his flaws, because she loves him and love is also about acceptance.

Little does Jinri knows, that their reconciliation is not their happy ending, but merely a beginning to their journey.

TBC

an: so. yeah. do you notice something different in the foreword page? *wink*

there will be much more surprises in the future. There are major changes in the plot, hence the chance in the foreword page. Please look forward to it. ^^

Thank you so much for your enthusiasm for the previous chapter. I read a lot of comments telling Jinri to open the door, and I am now as excited as you all are. We finally reach 70 subbies, thank you everyone. ^^

I hope you all will continue to support this story.

With love,

himalayancat