Empty.

 

That is what Luhan feels as soon as he opens his eyes to the bright morning sunlight, seeping shyly through his thick curtains. Suddenly, the bed is a little bit too big for him and the room temperature is rather too low, although he has never had such problem before. Actually, he is quite used with solitude—the years he spent struggling on his own in Korea is one of the proofs—but why is it so unbearable right now?

 

The buzzing sound of his alarm is getting more and more annoying, so Luhan sluggishly rolls to the other side of the bed. He winces when the cold bed sheet touches his bare arm—it has never been this cold before. With minimum effort, he presses the snooze button on his phone. But unlike how he usually likes to indulge himself with more sleep and wait until the time written on the LCD tells him that he is late for work, today he chooses to rise from the bed instead. The comforter is not as warm as it usually is, he thinks.

 

After he finishes with his shower, Luhan goes into the kitchen, planning to pour himself a cup of coffee or two as breakfast. His tendency of doing his work overnight—a habit that he starts to develop in college—has taken a toll on him in the form of caffeine addiction. However, as soon as his eyes spot the empty dining table, he cancels it because somehow, turning on the coffee maker seems too troublesome for him right now. It’s not like he can’t survive the day without a cup of coffee, right?

 

It is when Luhan is about to open his main door that his resolution begins to crumble. He hesitates and turns back instead, resting his head on the door. 

 

A short call wouldn’t hurt, right?

 

On the third ring, Luhan has started to regret his action. She has told him that she doesn’t want to be disturbed, so what if she were angry at him for calling? He has begun to panic but before he can cut his phone, the end of the other line has answered.

 

“Hello?”

 

The sound of her voice washes all of his anxiety away. It’s a little too cheesy for his liking, but he can’t help but feeling that way.

 

“Luhan, aren’t you going to say anything?”

 

There are a lot in his mind and in the back of his tongue: I miss you. I want to see you. Are you doing alright? Do you eat regularly? What did you have for dinner? But he settles for a simple, “Hey, Jinri. How are you?” 

 

Jinri chuckles, but to his ears, it sounds like many bells tingling harmonically. Damn, he curses his mind at the thought; Jinri’s soap operas have started to rub on him.

 

“I’m fine. A little bit stressed out and lacking of sleep, but overall, I guess I’m okay.”

 

“You’re going to do well,” Luhan blurts out before he can control it, “Tao told me that your final thesis is brilliant, so don’t worry.”

 

Jinri lets out a sheepish giggle and Luhan can almost see the blush slowly creeping on her pale cheeks.

 

“Please, not you too, Luhan. Handling all this admiration is not easy,” she says and Luhan knows that she is doing her best to keep her composure albeit the smile starting to tug the edge of her lips.

 

“I’m just stating the truth. You have to believe in yourself. Say it: ‘I’m going to do great on my final exam’.”

 

Jinri hesitates for a while, but then she mutters softly, “I’m going to do great on my final exam.”

 

“I can’t hear you.”

 

She repeats it, a little louder than before, but Luhan keeps on saying ‘I can’t hear you.’ Jinri chants it again and again, until she is half-shouting and finally realizes that Luhan is playing a trick on her.

 

“Luhan!”

 

Luhan laughs, and that is probably the most sincere one he lets out for the past few days. It hasn’t been a week since Jinri decided that she needs her space to prepare for the oral examination of her final thesis and moved back to her apartment downstairs, yet it feels like she has been away for so long. This is not the first time they are apart—Luhan has his share of going abroad because of his works’ demand—but this is the first time Jinri left Luhan alone in his penthouse.

 

“I’m just kidding, okay. Chill out. Stop being too tense,” Luhan replies with a smile still lingering on his lips. His eyes soften, as if he could see Jinri right in front of him. For a moment, none of them speaks a single word, but the silence that ensues is still somewhat comforting. 

 

“Jinri.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

Do you miss me? That is what Luhan wants to say, but the more logical and proud part of his brain denies it from passing through his lips. He doesn’t want to sound so dependent, so needy, because Jinri doesn’t seem to be that attached to him. He refuses to be the one who is hanging too much to their relationship, just because. But then, the urge to find out the answer of his inquiry wins over him and the words are about to escape him when she beats him to it.

 

“Do you miss me, Luhan?”

 

A lot. I can’t sleep well, I can’t eat well; I can’t function well because I miss you too much. “Just a little. How about you?”

 

“It has only been a week,” Jinri reminds him between chuckles and Luhan can feel his heart plummets from the disappointment. However, Luhan can’t describe how happy he is when he hears the continuation of her words.

 

“But I do. I miss you. It’s strange, huh?” Jinri pauses and if she were here, Luhan is sure that she might have been gazing to the distance.

 

“It’s not. Maybe I should stop by your place today.” Luhan says and he immediately regrets it because he might have sounds too excited and Jinri might find out that he just really, really want to see her.

 

“NO!” Comes the answer, quicker than Luhan has predicted, before she continues,” I mean, I’d love to see you but I rather not. I’ve told you, right? You are quite… distracting.” She trails off and Luhan can’t help but teases her.

 

“And why am I such a distraction, tell me, again? We could, you know, innocently sit in one of your couches and talk.”

 

Both of them know, though, that if they meet, there’ll be so much more than sitting and talking, since they can hardly keep their hands to themselves. Blame it to the damn hormones. The absence of respond from the end of the other line tells Luhan that Jinri is probably blushing madly and is too embarrassed to talk. He hears her mutters a barely audible, ‘ert’ and that is all he needs to burst into laughter.

 

“I guess I’ll see you this Friday evening, then?“

 

Luhan decides to close the conversation because if he keeps it any longer, he might not be able to stop himself from barging into Jinri’s apartment later today. After all, he knows his limit.

 

“Yeah, after the exam.”

 

There is silence again between them. Although it’s not as comfortable as the previous one, no one wants to break it because when they do, it will be the end of their talk.

 

“I love you.” Jinri finally speaks and a full smile blooms on Luhan’s lips.

 

“Me too,” he replies affectionately and waits for Jinri to cut her line. When she has done it, he lets out a heavy sigh while staring at his phone. Oh, she has no idea how difficult this is for him, but he isn’t planning to tell her so because it will only make her worry. Although the idea of her worrying about him is really tempting, Luhan knows that it will be better for her not to, so that she can concentrate on her preparation for the exam. Therefore, Luhan takes a deep breath and opens the door. There is only about three more days until Friday and then she will move back to his penthouse. He can do this.

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TBC

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an: well, here is a short update. the next chapter will be the second part of this. I originally planned to post it together, but it takes me too long and I'm too impatient to wait.

And I'm really delighted with the sudden influx of new subscribers. Welcome, everyone :) I hope you'll enjoy this story. And thank you so much for upvoting and commenting. Surprisingly, I've come across a site  or two where this fic is recommended, so I'm really grateful for everyone who did that.Hopefully someday, this fic will gain more recognition.

With many love,

himalayancat