This and the next chapter is going to be reviews for the contest entries from my main account. I'm also currently improving on reviewing.

Actually I should just start instead of wasting my time and procastinating.

chocopretzels - Their shared day

The front page seems pretty okay. I noticed you added a poster, it wasn't there the last time I checked and damn it's pretty! I saw that you made it  yourself, good job =] Sort simple description, doesn't actually reveal anything except that their birthdays play a big part in the oneshot. I'm not gonna judge alot on the foreword, description, title blablabla because I am guilty of putting random author notes in some of my fics too.

-Plot
The starting party scene was good, I thought you could elaborate on that, like maybe her friend (which is the cause of me, well Xiu going to the party) could introduce her to some people including Jonghyun. It's okay actually, I just thought that the friend was forgotten.

So the bear was holding a note? Sweet~I'd rather you not mentioned how much time passed, because you mentioned it's their 21st birthday and so forth, so we will know how much time passed.

I find the college and university part sort of confusing. It's like the time crashed(?) and it doesn't flow that well. The fact that he has to go to the university that he was accepted in made Xiu so sad. So what did Xiu do all the time when he applied? She must have known something about him applying. So why can't she apply too? Why didn't she apply is the question I guess. Plus,  why did he have to leave if he were go attend university? Was it far from where they lived?? You'd have to point that out if it is.

Plus, what does he die from?

I liked the ending. The whole birthday thing was popping out(?).

-Angst(?)
I'd rate it 2.5 out of 5. The concept is there, I know it's there, but it isn't expressed very well. It can be seen in the poster though.

-Overall
It's pretty good, but you have to add nessasary details to make it flow better. I enjoyed it, it was really sweet =]

Mark: B =]

Good luck and thank you for joining the contest~ ^^