I walked through the streets from Korea, I felt somehow at home, and save here, I don’t know the people, but still I didn’t feel like an outsider, I felt like I just came back from a really long trip, when I turned my head to look at a book shop, something caught my eyes, a paper paste on a window, it was about an audition at SM entertainment and I suddenly felt nervous, this was the audition I attended in America, and got through, so now I’m  here,  I’m really nervous but also excited about the audition, I really want to debut, I was first thinking about going solo, but somehow this audition took my attention, so I just applied and I got through, when I looked at the date I gasp softly, the date is for tomorrow, I took my phone out her pocket and looked worried and horrified at the date on her phone, and I suddenly came to the realization that my audition is tomorrow.

I rushed home, and storm inside the house, my brother looked surprised at me, and he had no idea what was going on, the woman we stayed at, who we call aunt for the moment, came rushing into the living room with a big spoon in her hand, and it made me stop for a moment, and burst into a laughter. ‘’Ah mianhae!’’ My brother roll his eyes and shook his head.  ‘’ What is wrong with you?’’ I look from our ‘aunt’ towards my brother and felt the panic return. ‘’Ah my audition is tomorrow, I totally forgot with everything that was going on, I haven’t really prepared something, well I know this dance, and this song, I’ve been practicing on for months, but still, have no idea what to…’’

 I suddenly couldn’t move my lips anymore, because my brother had my lips into his hand, and he looked a bit annoyed. ‘’Can you stop speaking for moment.’’ I looked mad at my brother, and sigh relieved when he let go of my lips, I parted my mouth to say something, but he hold his finger up, and I sigh softly. ‘’You did practice Missing you right? You sing that one beautifully so go with that one, and for your dance, if I’m right you didn’t sign up for dance.’’

I laugh stupidly when I remember I did really not sign for dance and nodded at my brothers idea and hug him tightly, he chuckles softly and hug me back. ‘’You will do fine, chinja so just believe in yourself, aright?’’ I nodded and hold my first up as a FIGHTING sign, and he did the same, I let go of him and rush upstairs to my room, to practice the show.

I woke up with a nauseas feeling in my stomach and suddenly didn’t feel like going anymore, I heard my bedroom door open, and someone plumping down on my bed, I turn around to the person, and I knew it was my brother. ‘’You should wake up now.’’ I shook my head and whimper softly. ‘’Oppa! I don’t feel so well, I don’t think I should go.’’ I mumble while lying completely down under my blanket. He suddenly pull my blanket away while he looked annoyed while more mad now. ‘’ Kim Hyewook!” I gulp softly, and look scared at my brother, he almost never call me by my full name.’’ You get your out of bed right now, or I drag you out and go to that audition, I know you can do it, are we clear?’’ I gulp louder this time and nodded while rushing out of bed and towards the shower.

After 30 minutes I came out the bathroom, all dry and dressed and went downstairs, I heard my brother talking with our aunt, he was telling her about our live in America, I slowly walk inside the kitchen, my brother stopped talking and turned to look at me so did our aunt, and he smiles softly, but still he had a don’t argue with me glint in his eye, I chuckle softly and went towards the dinner table and plump down, and waited for the other two to sit down too, and when aunt told us to eat, I suddenly felt really hungry.

After our breakfast, my brother and aunt decided to drive me to the audition, and on our way I felt so nervous, and I felt like I could cry any moment, mum and dad already called me to encourage me and told me to do well. When we arrived there were a bunch of girls everywhere and I suddenly felt scared, and a feeling I didn’t belong.

I kissed my brother on his cheek and gave my aunt a hug and rushed towards the line with girls, and waited patiently for my turn, and I told myself to look at the ground and not at the other girls, because I knew If I did, I would run away, after an hour I suddenly got called inside, and when they called my name suddenly my mind went blank and forgot everything, I wanted to say or sing.