Heartbreak

Superhuman

Inyoung looked down the hallway. He was there. Shim Changmin was there. With his perfectly styled brown hair and his stylish baby sweater hanging by his shoulder, he was leaning at his locker while tallking to his friends. Inyoung was looking at him from her locker. She was mesmerized by Changmin's attractiveness, until someone tapped her shoulder.

"Yah! Stalking Changmin again?" her best friend, Donghae, shouted.

"Sshh! No I wasn't!" Inyoung blushed. "Sure you weren't." Donghae rolled his eyes.

"Now shut up and get your books."

"What's the rush? Class is still half an hour away."

"I need to borrow Eunhyuk's homework" he smirked.

"Haish, you never complete them by yourself" she glared at him.

    Donghae made an eye-smile. She grabbed her books and walked with Donghae towards the crowd. Some girls were staring at her. They were jealous. Inyoung was walking with one of the hottest guys in the school. She even got a threat letter once, but she didn't care. He was her best friend since childhood. She couldn't just leave him like that. Amongst the crowd, they saw Eunhyuk, another of their best friends. They approached him, until they saw him staring at someone with his mouth slightly open. Donghae wanted to tap his shoulder, but Inyoung stopped him.

   He was looking at Jiyeon, his crush. She was leaning at her locker, while talking to Seunghyun. It looked like they were exchanging numbers. For your information, Choi Seunghyun is one of the biggest players and a ert in that private school. He hits on girls too often and asks girls to sleep with him. Sure he is attractive and super-rich, but his attitude disgusts Inyoung and her friends. He also tries to get Inyoung, too often. He even tried to touch her once. Inyoung just simply hates him so much. She looked at Eunhyuk. She could tell that he was sad. She immediately wrapped her arm around his shoulders and comforted him.

"You'll get her someday.." she said. He turned to her and smiled.

"Yah, shut up. You do this to Changmin almost every single day!" She blushed.

"Is it that obvious?" she asked.

"Kim Inyoung, we've known you for more than 10 years. We can tell if you're on cloud nine when you see Changmin" Donghae interrupted.

"Fine, Lee Donghae. Don't be like Junhong at home" she glared. Eunhyuk looked at his watch.

"Ah, let's go! Here, my homework. Next time, complete it yourself, Donghae" he glared.

Inyoung felt her phone vibrate in her blazer's pocket. It was a text message from Luna.

"You guys, can we see Luna first? She has the same class with us after this."

"I'm fine with that. Let's go." said Donghae.

He'd put his arm around Inyoung's shoulder and walked with her and Eunhyuk. Some girls were glaring at Inyoung again. A girl even tore her important math notes in half because of her jealousy. Luna was taking her books. She was waiting for Inyoung.

"Hopefully she'll bring Donghae along. I haven't seen his handsome face yet today." she thought. She turned around and saw Inyoung waving at her. She saw Donghae too. Her heart skipped at beat. She was excited to see him. Although, she was a bit jealous to see Inyoung in Donghae's arm. "That should be me..." she thought.

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ParkMiyoung
#1
Chapter 2: what was in that text? :S
btw I have some advice for you (English is my second language so I'll just try to explain as good as I can): you should make your chapters a bit longer..but most importantly; leave some space between the lines here and there. Like;

'She felt a bit afraid, but she made herself brave enough to go. - That Night - She stepped out from her bathroom.'

should be:

'She felt a bit afraid, but she made herself brave enough to go.


- That night -

She stepped out from her bathroom'
ParkMiyoung
#2
Chapter 1: Oh yeah! Luna and donghae! <3 and inyoung with changmin? Interesting :D I'll sub!