*I'm back! haha, sorry for having such a looong writer's block~~

===========================

Please, just one more time, hold me in your arms again..

the next time I close my eyes to meet you,

Hold me as I stay still in that spot

...

Jinki yawned and stretched before looking to the side. He smiled, and instinctively cuddled the sleeping figure. He nuzzled the long hair he loved, and ran his hand up that slim waist.
He got a soft complain as a response, but Jinki only smiled at the cuteness and shook his partner's body "Baby~~"
This time he got a light grunt, but the other finally woke up.

"Yah. What's up with you..."

Jinki immediately widened his eyes at the unknown voice, backing off. He got out of bed, never letting his eyes leave that thing that was laying on Taemin's side of the bed...
The creature looked over it's shoulder, narrowing his annoyed eyes to him. "Why did you wake me up?"

Onew was speechless. A strange woman was laying on his bed, he didn't know who she was or what was she doing there.
"Wha--? ...W-Who are you??" Onew spoke nervously. 

"Aish" She cursed under her breath, taking the cover off her to get out of bed "Drunk already?"

She walked towards the bathroom, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Jinki was so glad to see that at least she wasn't ...
Jinki heard the water of the sink running, and stood at the bathroom's door. "Wh-What are you doing here??"

"Trying to brush my teeth...?" She replied, showing him her white toothbrush and shaking it.
"N-No. I mean, what are you doing here! In MY house?"
"Well, honestly I don't know" She said, barely understandable as she was brushing her teeth. She spitted in the sink "I've told you hundreds of times we could get a better house" She added, shrugging.

It only made Jinki even more confused "...'we'?" 
"Well yeah! You can't leave without me, can you?" 

Jinki felt cold... "What-What does that mean?" He mumbled. The man turned around, taking his hands to his head, trying to find some clue of what was going on. Something stung him in the back of his mind... he turned to her slowly...

"A-Are you Park Minyung?" He asked, remembering the name his mother mentioned yesterday, and hoping with all his heart he was wrong...

"Park Minyung?" She turned to look at him, with a confused tone that made him feel a little better... it vanished quickly. 

"LEE Minyung" She said, showing him the back of her left hand, displaying a sparkly diamond ring.

Jinki felt an stinging pain in his heart, almost as if he were having an attack. It caused him to take a few steps back, holding his chest. 
"Nonono, you gotta be kidding..."

She didn't pay attention to Onew's mumbles, and only turned to place his toothbrush back in it's place. 
Jinki was still shocked by the situation he has been placed in. 

"Where... where's Taemin..." He whispered, looking down at the floor. 
"huh?" The woman replied. Jinki stepped closer to her "Where. Is. TAEMIN?!" He spoke as if his words were poison, but the other didn't seem to be affected.

"Who?"

"Oh God..." Onew covered his mouth, containing the burning urge to scream right there. He left the bathroom and quickly went downstairs "Taemin!" He called, turning his head in every direction "Taemin!"
The man went to the kitchen, the garden, the tv room... it wasn't until he checked the living room, that he noticed how all was... different. 

He slowly slided his fingers across the largest couch's arm. His eyes look somewhere else, to certain spot, were he had a really big and elegant display gabinet. It contained some of Jinki's grandparent's most valuable memories.

But it wasn't there. And it made him wanna cry.

Taemin had helped him place it there, and, in fact, it was the boy's idea, since he knew how much it would meant to Jinki. 
They spent a whole day organizing it, going through old boxes that were in their atic, to put different items in it...

The sound of heels alerted him.
"Where is all my furniture, woman?" He asked, not even bothering to turn to look at her. "Ha! I replaced most of it a long time ago. You didn't care!"

"...where's my display gabinet?" 
"hmm... I don't know what are you talking about. What gabinet?" 

The woman kept making Jinki angry, a little more each time. Even like that, he noticed her outfit "You going somewere?" 
"Yeah, I told you! I'm gonna meet my friends, then we are going shopping. And I'm having lunch with your mother later. You should come!" 

"Wait... you don't work?" 
She chuckled "Work? Why would I work? I have a rich husband!" She laugh a little more, but the young man didn't find it funny.

Jinki sighed "Do you know where my phone is?" 
"hmm" She hummed "I don't know, maybe you left it on your night stand?" She responded, walking towards the kitchen.
He looked at her leaving, bitterly, before going back to his room, and looked for his phone.

Why was everything different? 
Why was he with that woman??
Where the hell was Taemin??
All he wanted was to find him, a long with an explanation for all of this. 

While he searched though his drawer, he noticed a sparkle of light on his hand. When he looked at it closer... Jinki realized he had a ring too.

"NO!" He desperatly took it off and tossed it away "I'm not in married to a in yeoja, okay?!"
Jinki brushed his hair back... this couldn't be. 

It took him a few minutes to find his phone. He unblocked it and saw that his background was black, instead of the picture he and of him and Taemin...
Going through his contact list, he didn't find Tae's phone number.

What kind of nightmare is this?

...Does Taemin even exists in this twisted reality?...

Jinki tried to find the answer to that question, looking for the infinite amount of videos and pictures of Taemin he had taken.

He found nothing. All the photos and videos were gone.
Every little memory he had saved was gone.

Taemin was gone. 


Erased, as if he were nothing...
A couple of tears fell to the floor below him. Jinki tried to contain them with his hand, but the feeling of impotence didn't stop.

The heartbeak was unbearable. It made him feel physicaly weak and shaky...

How could the person he loved the most disappear from one day to another?


Within minutes, the whole room was a mess. The drawers were out of their place, there was a lot of stuff all over the floor. Jinki checked under the bed, on top of the shelfs, between some books.

All he needed was one sign.


Desperatly taking the clothes out of his closet, tossing them to the floor, Jinki saw a green shoe box on the corner. He didn't pay attention to it, until it was the only thing left.
Rubbing his red eyes, he kneeled on the floor, and took it, placing it on his thighs.

He froze at what he saw in it.
Jinki slowly reached both hands inside it, and pulled out it's contents.
In one hand... he had piano sheets. The ones Taemin gave him when he thought Onew was a music student too, the very same day they met.
And in the other hand, he had a chicken wing phone-charm, the one Taemin bought him at the mall, in their first "not-date".


So... Taemin and I DID met.


Jinki rushed to save the items, and ran downstairs with his box and phone.
He ran directly to the front door. His ear catched the yells of his "wife"

"Jinki! Where are you going dressed like that?!"

He looked at his own clothes. He was still wearing his pajama, a jacket and slippers.
"Are you going to the office like that?"
"Just... shut up" He said, opening the door and stepping out and hearing her yell again, but ignored it.

Outside... it looked like the colours of everything had been toned down. It was so strange.

Jinki spotted his car, and saw the keys inside. Luckily, it was open. and he entered quickly. He placed his box on the passenger's seat, and started the engine. There was one place he needed to go.

Taemin's house...

=====


Jinki parked in front of the house he knows so well. It didn't looked different.

With a smile, he walked to the front door and knocked. He was truly hoping he would see Taemin.
The door opened, but he wasn't greeted by him, but by that lovely lady that is his mother.

"Mrs. Lee!" Jinki's smile didn't become smaller, he was so happy.
"Um, yes, how can I help you?"

"I... It's me, Jinki!" He shakily said. "Jinki?..." She repeated, as if it did sounded familiar...
"M-Mrs. Lee... is Taemin here?"
"Oh, you are a friend? He's not here. He is working!" She smiled. 

Onew was trying to brush off the fact that the only woman he has ever loved didn't had any idea of who he was, and that it didn't seem to affect her "W-Working! Would you tell me where he works?" 
"He works at the cafe!" She said.

A telephone rang inside the house, and the woman excused herself. "Oh! I gotta get that! Sorry" She said, closing the door almost all the way, but adding "Taemin always comes here around two, to eat, maybe you could drop by!" She bowed fast and closed the door.

The man stood there for a few moments, and turned around to go back to his car, when his phone starting making a beeping sound. He searched for it in his pocket and looked at the screen...

It was an alarm, with the reminder: "Pill 1"

What...

PILLS?!
I'm sick?!

Onew quickly got to his car and looked in the compartments, until he found a little orange bottle with lots of white pills inside... as he read the label, Jinki rolled his eyes. 
Of course. It was a medicine to treat stress and anxiety... which obviously came because of his "wife".

Although unsure, he decided not to risk and took one.
He started his car and began driving again, to go to Taemin's work. His mother said he worked at a cafe.

But wait... 

Which cafe?!
There's hundreds of cafes in the city!

"Arrrgh" Jinki groaned and hit the car's wheel...
Well... it has to be close to his home...

Onew then though of driving around the next few blocks, and look in every little business. He had all the will in his heart to find Taemin, and to hold the only person that could make him feel safe in this weird world.


Jinki didn't find any café nearby, and was about to go back and ask Mrs. Lee -because that was how badly he wanted to know- when his phone rang again. It had a different tone, so he checked it right away.

It was a call this time. He picked up and put the cellphone against his ear. 

"Dude, where the hell are you!?"
"J-... Jjong?" Jinki asked, confused. 
"YES. Where are you? You gotta come over here now!" 
"W-Why?"
"Why!? You have work waiting for you, Heechul had to stop everything because you haven't got here, YOU have a client coming here today and I don't even know where Minho is right now!!"
"...O-Okay"
"Good" Jonghyun said, before hanging up abruptly. 


Jinki arrived the company, opening the transparent doors of the reception, and walking all the way up to his floor.
He recieved all kinds of strange looks, at which he only responded with shy gestures.

Jonghyun was already waiting for him in ront of his office, and he seemed to be on the phone, although Jinki couldn't figure out what he was saying, and the other hung up when he was close.
Jjong's big eyes widened even more, looking Onew from the top down.

"D-Dude, What the hell!?" The shorter man exclaimed, not hiding his bad mood, and pointing at Onew with both hands, still holding his phone with one. 
Jinki looked at himself...

"Oh..."

He was in his pj's.... he forgot about that completely. 

"OH!? Godammit..." Jonghyun sighed, and rubbed the bridge of his nose "I can't believe this. Are you drunk again Jinki?" He asked, lowering his voice at that last part.
Onew was very surprised by the question. "W-What? No!"

Jonghyun rolled his eyes. "Let me check your breath" He said, as if he had done it before...
Awkwardly, Onew leaned in and exhaled in front of the shorter man.

...

"C'mon, let's take you to Heechul, he'll have something to give you" Jjong said, after checking Jinki's breath.

Onew nodded and followed his friend... who seemed ridiculously stressed.
Actually, he has never seen Jonghyun like this before...

Just when Jinki was about to ask about it, they had Heechul infront of them.
He frowned the moment he saw Jinki dressed like that, and Jjong only shrugged.
Heechul understood immediately.

"Alright" He said. Heechul's voice was softer than Onew ever heard before.
The other man left only for a moment, returning with an elegant suit in a metalic hanger and shoes, giving it to Onew "Put this on. Over there" Hee pointed at one of the changing rooms the models used.

Jinki just took the clothes, thinking it was better than going around like that. As he walked away to change, his ears caught Heechul asking "Is he drunk again?"


...Why were his friend saying that kind of things about him? 


"I don't think he is drunk..." Jjong whispered to Heechul. "Really? Then why the hell does he appears here in PAJAMAS?" The diva responded, trying to keep it down too.

The other shrugged, and Hee sighed.

"That woman..." Heechul said in disapproval. 
"I know...."
"She is really driving him crazy"
"She doesn't even let us visit him" Jonghyun mumbled. Heechul's eyes widened. "THAT !" 
"SHHHHHH" Jonghyun immediately coverer the loud man's mouth, with an alarmed expression.

At that moment, Onew appeared behind them, fixing the tie of his black suit, that had only a few silver details.
"Is this better?" Jinki asked, with a weak voice that could be compared to that of a shy child.

As Jjong took his hand away from him, Heechul walked to Jinki, looking at him with soft, compassive eyes. "Yes. It's better" He mumbled, helping him with his tie.
Jinki never saw Heechul being so... gentle. It was confusing. 

"Ok" Hee patted the man's chest "All you need to do is sign these papers so I can start here" He said, pointing at some documents laying on a desk. 

Onew picked a pen that was next to them and signed them for Heechul, who thanked him and left with the papers. 

"Ok, now come with me" Jonghyun told.him, pulling him by the arm.
They walked and got to Jonghyun's office.

Seeing how obviously stressed and moody Jonghyun seemed to be, Jinki wondered if everything was going well between him and Key... because, they were together, right? They obviously like eachother, they weren't even discreet the other day at the fair, being all romantic...

"Hey, Jjong, How's Key?" Jinki asked. While looking thru some papers, the other just replied "What Key?"

...What Key?

A little scared, Jinki responded "Key. Kim Kibum, your... He works here..."

"You're wrong. I don't know any Key" Jonghyun simple said, not even looking up at him.
Jinki's lips parted...

Key doesn't even works here?

The older man looked to the sides, yet wasn't aware of anything around him. He was concentrated, looking into his memories and trying to find a logical reason...

"...no" Jinki said to himself, as he closed his eyes with frustration. He knew why.
The reason why Key wasn't here right now...

...was because he hired him thanks to Taemin.

Jinki recalled the memory that was supposed to be happy, but now felt like acid down his throat...

The day he hired Key... it was his birthday.

Jinki had already seen Key's apply papers days before, and they weren't appealing. No experience, unfinished studies...
He did remember seeing Key and thinking that he was the type of person that make you turn to look at them twice, but that wasn't as important as other matters in the workplace.

But, the morning of December 14th... He woke up to a lovely voice that called him softly and playfuly "Hyung~~... Jinki~ Wake up my sweet sweet man~~"

Jinki opened his eyes, smiling so warmly in the very firsts seconds of his day.

"Good morning, yeobo<3" Taemin smiled, when Jinki saw him, automatically making his eyes look smaller.
The older smiled back, rubbing his eyes a bit, and slowly sitting up. Jinki noticed the tray Tae was carrying, that had a beautiful breakfast on it, and his heart just beated faster at his boyfriend's kindness~

"What is this Tae?" The older chuckled. "Hahaha~ You silly" Taemin responded, setting the tray over the little table near their window. He walked over to Jinki and leaned in, to hug him softly. It was so warm, it even felt more intimate and loving than a direct kiss.
Jinki hugged him back with a smile. Taemin's pink lips brushed his cheek gently "Happy Birthday, Jinki"

"Aw, Taeminnie~ Thanks. Thank you so much, but you shouldn't have bothered so much!" Onew said, unable to contain his wide smile. Taemin broke the hug, to look at Jinki with happy eyes. "Yes, I SHOULD. You know why?"

"Why~?"

"Because..." The younger boy slowly climbed and sat on Jinki's lap, sideways, and wrapped an arm around him "...this is going to be the first time we celebrate your birthday since I moved in~"

"Oh my God, that's true! I forgot" Onew giggled, laying a hand on Tae's thighs. "I forget a lot of stuff since you moved in... I often forget to eat cause I'm just having such a good time with you" Onew kissed Taemin's cheek, making him smile. "I forget I have to work, hahaha. I only want to stay here with you" He said, kissing his cheek one more time. Onew cupped Taemin's pinkish cheek with one hand, turning his face gently to him, and putting his forehead against his. Onew then added with a deep voice...

" ...I forget to sleep early"

Taemin blushed madly and pushed Jinki away while laughing "Jinkiii!!!" 
"You know it's true!!" The older replied, quickly pulling him back. Tae couldn't stop giggling, so Onew decided to give him a good reason to do so. He attacked by poking his sides "Nonono, hyung, please don't!" Taemin laugh out loud. It only encouraged Jinki more.
Taemin fell on his back as Jinki turned him into a messy ball of giggles and cute squeals.

Watching his beautiful lover in such desirable yet sweet position made Jinki stop to press his lips against Tae's, who reacted immediately by running his hands through Onew's puffy morning hair.
Onew ended the kiss soundly, smiling at Taemin before growling playfuly and attaching his lips to the younger's pale neck.

"Ah! Hyung, no!" Taemin opposed, although, his smile called for more. "It's my birthday" Jinki chuckled, softly...
Tae relaxed for a moment, letting Onew do as he pleased, but his eyes snapped open "Oh!! Your breakfast is gonna get cold!!" He exclamed, laughing and pushing Jinki to the side.

Onew turned his body, smiling, and watching him picking up the tray carefully. "Sit there! Sit, sit!" Tae said, pointing at Onew's spot.
The man did, and Taemin set the breakfast on Onew's thighs. It looked so delicious, and it was all neatly placed.

"Oh, my god, it looks so good Taemin!" Jinki was about to grab his fork. "Nonono! Let me~" Taemin said, taking it, and giving him little bites of food, lovingly.

After finishing eating, Jinki had to rush to take a shower... which Taemin soon joined. Jinki couldn't stop caressing him, kissing him, telling him how thankful he was for having with him that day... "And everyday until we go" Taemin smiled, wrapping his wet arms around his neck.

"...you promise, right?" Jinki mumbled, with a serious, shaky voice, lightly cupping Taemin's face and letting his forehead touch his, giggling his little hint of fear away.
"Yah, Lee Jinki. Don't talk with that voice, because you know it makes me cry" Taemin responded, giggling too, and blinking fast to keep all little tears in.
Jinki brushed Tae's wet hair out of his face "I'm sorry" he chuckled "But... you do... right?"

Taemin giggled again, more honestly this time, and nodded "Yes. Jinki, I promise to always be with you. Even if you get richer and the city starts hunting us and we have to escape and move to an island... or even if you lose everything and we have to live in a box" Tae said, laughing cutely.

Jinki chuckled too "But... I would never "lose everything" if I still have you"

Taemin looked at him for a moment, before slapping Jinki's wet chest "I told you not to talk like that!" He exclaimed, rubbing one of his eyes, gently. Onew smiled, rasing the other's face, to kiss him, so sweetly.

"I love you... don't cry" Jinki added, chuckling. 
"I love you more" Tae whispered.
"...oh my god, how can you live with yourself then? You have to be bursting with love everyday, because I love you more than anything!"
"Well, I do!" Taemin laugh "I exploted at the store the other day, I turned into millions of little red hearts"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah! The owner had to vacuum me~~"

Jinki laugh loudly "That's so cute~"


When they realize it was getting late, Jinki rushed again, to get dressed, while Taemin only covered himself with a white robe, and walked him to the door. He played a bit with Jinki's grey tie, looking up at him innocently... "You're gonna... come home early, right?" He asked, softly bitting his pink lip.
Jinki groaned playfuly, and pretended to bite him "I'll be back as soon as I can, Tae"
"Okay~~ Be careful and have fun"

Onew kissed the top of Taemin's head, and walkied towards his car, he looked back once... Taemin let the bathrobe slide off his white shoulders "Don't get too tired" he said, winking.
Jinki smiled and winked back...

Needless to say, that day at work he was on the best of all moods, and when he bumped into Key's papers, he didn't hesitate to tell someone to call him and tell him the job was his.


But...

There is no Taemin here...
There was no such celebration...
Nor... happiness at all for Jinki...

He probably threw Key's papers in the trash without even reading them...

Is that why Jjong is... different? 
They had something... right?
Jonghyun seemed... happier... I never saw him like that when he was around anyone else...
Maybe he was... in love.

But now...--


"Jinki, what are you doing, stop wasting time!" Jonghyun coldly scolded, seeing the other totally lost. "We have to get ready, really"


"We're getting ready for what?" Onew asked, confused and weak.

Jonghyun chuckled, although he didn't sound amused. "You're kidding right? He said, turning to look at Jinki. 
He didn't find a hint of playfulness in the older's man face...

Jonghyun's eyes widened "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!" He yelled. "THIS MEETING IS OUR OPPORTUNITY TO RECOVER THE REPUTATION *YOU* SHREDDED. SEEING OUR MOST IMPORTANT CLIENTS WHILE BEING DRUNK" Jonghyun said, with a desperate tone "LOOK. I know you have issues and.problems and I care about you, I really do... BUT YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT ON YOUR FREE TIME!!! It's really a lot of pressure for me to be running this all by myself, and on top of that, have the responsability of picking you up from every breakdown you have!! I'm sorry man, but it's the truth. We already lost Minho, and I just can't keep covering you up, it's hard for me"

Jinki stood there dumbfounded. If it were a normal situation, he would demand some respect from his dongsaeng, but he was clueless to everything Jonghyun was talking about...

"Wait..." Onew mumbled, blinking like a little kid "We lost Minho?... w-what? Where is he!?" 
"Don't play innocent. He moved to Japan and now he is running a smaller company.. and a bunch of businesses, you know that. You haven't ruined your brain THAT much, right?"

...

"Why did he left?"

"...you know why" Jonghyun mumbled, avoiding eye contact. It gave Onew an awful feeling "Tell me why" He asked again, louder. "Jinki, you know why" he repeated.

"Tell me!"

"He... Jinki, don't make me say it, I don't wanna talk about it" Jonghyun voice shook a bit...
Jinki tried to swallow the knot inside his throat... "Jonghyun-ah... I don't know what happened, you have to tell me"

Jjong raised his eyes slowly "He left because of you..."

"...but, why?" 
"Jinki..."
"Tell me. I need to know"
"You... you were drunk, Jinki. He... h-he tried to help you but you... I don't know, you were talking non-sense... Minho got angry. I guess he... he was so tired of it. He started talking back at you. He reproached and yelled... and you yelled back too... Jinki, you... you hit him. You beat him badly, I had to take him to the hospital... t-to be honest, I sometimes feel scared of.. what would've happened if I wasn't there..."


Over Jinki's dry, plumb lips, a lonely tear rolled down...

"Jinki, I--"
"I'm sorry, Jonghyun, I have to go" Jinki stood up, looking down and rushing to the door. "N-No, hey! You can't--"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." Jinki mumbled under his breath, leaving the office.

He ran away.

His mind was so troubled, he didn't remember his car was there and he just exited the front doors and kept running.
Not the worried and confused voices of some workers, nor his shaky legs could stop him.

Jinki felt numb. Dizzy. Weak.

What kind horrible monster was he?
Just imagining Minho being hurt because of him... because he wanted to help him... it made Jinki sick.

He stopped and let a tree support his body...

When will this be over?...

All he wanted, was to find himself... in Taemin's arms.

Taemin would brush his hair with his fingers, while rubbing his back.
Taemin would look at him tenderly.
Taemin would chuckled and convince hom that he was just imagining things.


But Taemin isn't here.


Jinki brushed his hair back, revealing his soaked face. His eyes were puffy, his nose looked red...
Unintentionally, he let out a deep whine, as he gasped for air.


He couldn't stay there.
He needed him, to take all the pain away... 

Jinki began to walk. It was hard. He couldn't feel his legs and his breathing wasn't helping either...

He only needed to find Taemin and everything would be okay.

His throat felt so sore...

A drink sounded great right now....

It could help him feel better...


Jinki's eyes snapped open when he realized the thoughts his mind was giving him.

No!

He won't even touch a glass!! It's... dangerous.


Focus, Jinki!! 


As he wiped his wet eyes once more, he noticed a café across the street...
Taemin's mom... she said Taemin worked at a café.
It was far from their house, but it wouldn't hurt to look.

Just when Jinki turned to walk on it's direction... a black-haired young man came out of the green door, smiling and bowing to someone inside, to walk out. 

Oh my god... It couldn't be...


"TAEMIN-AH!" 

A weak smiled spread across Jinki's face, who ran without thinking it twice.
A driver stepped on his breaks abruptly and yeller at him, but Jinki didn't care and got to the other side.

"TAEMIN-AH!!"


Onew's heart jumped with happiness when the other heard him and looked back.
It was definately him.

He felt new tears forming on his eyes, but he didn't mind now.
"Taemin!" Jinki repeated, now in front of his beautiful partner, and wrapping his arms firmly around him. "Tae... I'm so glad I found you..."


The world felt in perfect balance.
Now he could breath his lover's scent...

"U-Um..." Taemin giggled nervously and pushed Onew gently "E-Excuse me?"

Onew's hands were on Tae's shoulders, and he squeezed them softly "Taemin! It's me!"
Taemin giggled again... until something seemed to clic inside him.
His smile dropped and his voice changed...

"...Lee Jinki" He said... followed with a look Jinki recognized... from a younger, red-haired, angry boy...