Okay, so one of the things that one must focus on if they're writing a story (be it fantasy or not) is if they do happen to use elements from "our" life, in this case, our every day living, the sense of reality must be incorporated.

Needless to say... It's quite obvious when a story is completely fabricated, and one will know that it will NEVER happen. You need to make the reader believe that even if the circumstances may be rather low, there is still the possibility that these events could happen, even if some if not all.

Because as much as deviation is encouraged to diverge from the norm, one does not simply inherit the H1N1 strain of flu by falling into a pool of water!!!

Random, but yes, I have read a story like that, and actually voiced my opinion on it, in which the author's numerous readers all united to go against me, and she even wrote an extensive author's note in the middle of her story saying that she would NOT change that simple element of THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN because she was already writing the next chapter...

"But Karlo, it's her story, she can do what she wants, even make stuff up."

As much as I'd like to agree with that, it's a story that's written in our lifestyle, and it's not of the fantasy genre. If the author were to actually give her powers, I don't believe she would have given her the power to inherit a sickness at that exact moment (because that's sorta...masochistic...to want to be sick like that) just for the story to flow. And even if she did, why stop there?! Why not give her magical anti-gravitational powers so she can float in the air for all I care?!

We're writing a story about romance, not disobeying the laws of physics.

(And yes, if the author were to read this, or if her fans were to, they would know what I'm referring to, and no, I'm not planning on taking it off)

It's not that hard to change a simple mistake like that either. Ignoring someone else's criticism when it's blatantly your mistake is just horrible ignorance that one should probably work on fixing if they have that type of attitude. (And yes, I'm like this at times either, I'm not trying to come off as God or something...cause that's creepy)

So let's pull some examples, and outline some explanations as to why they're bad:

1) SIB-lings (Super Immature Bitches).

"STAY AWAY FROM (insert name of male kpop celeb here)-OPPA! YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM, I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T! YOU'RE SO ORDINARY AND PLAIN, HE DESERVES SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU! GO AWAY, EVERYONE HATES YOU"

• This is overly stereotypical in the sense that it's usually either the main of the story or it's a large group of fangirls that initiates this type of action. Already shows unoriginality, in which case, your DEVIATION IS ALREADY INVALID!

• And come on people, as much as I'd want to tell you that you should just leave this type of stuff out of your story altogether, just make sure it sounds real if you do happen to use it. Right now, they sound like 5 year olds bickering over a crayon (...a really...masculine...crayon), except with slightly elevated (barely) vocabulary and debating skills by saying "YOU'RE NOT WORTHY OF THIS AMAZINGLY MASCULINE CRAYON THAT CAN SING AND DANCE!" rather than "THAT CRAYON IS MINE, BWAHAHAHAHA!" ...

• I find it hard to believe that one would go to such extents and put so much effort into making another stay away, it's not like there's really any benefits afterwards because it's OBVIOUS that nothing between this...separator and the dude idol will ever happen, and therefore, is completely illogical in nature.

• If the dialogue actually does turn out like that, like just as bland and childish, then we should probably provide some psychological disorder to accompany it, because she (stereotyping) is obviously not in the right mind set. Hey! That means like 90% of all our fics on this site would have to have the "psychological" tag. MAYBE WE CAN FINALLY BEAT OUT THE SHINEE TAG!!!

2) Non-parallel attitudes with position through dialogue.

Ex1: "I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D ACTUALLY TRY TO KILL YOURSELF!" "Of course I did silly."

• Okay, so only one word that really makes it weird, but even a single letter or punctuation can drastically change the meaning of something, and in this case, it makes it HORRIBLY out of context.

• If a person starts to cut themselves, it's considered major depression going into initiating suicidal acts. It is psychologically corrupting, so one does not simply reply "Of course, silly" in such a casual tone after this happens. We need this sense of actual knowledge of the subject we're writing about (or learning how to fake it, which most don't know how to do) to make it sound real.

• She's depressed, don't make her sound happy.

Ex2: "Get me the heart listener thingey!!!"

• This is supposed to be a doctor dealing with a patient in critical condition as soon as they're admitted into the hospital...a doctor.

• The heart listener thingey is called a stethoscope, the one that the doctor plugs in the two ends into his ears and places the opposite end against one's chest to listen to their heart. Terminology is important, because it's a doctor.

• This is clearly a colloquial (like grade school language even...) level of language, and the the sense of formality is needed. Why? Because the person speaking is a doctor.

• I am so hurt girl, I need a doctor~ (...oh right, that's not part of this...but it's still a nice song~ Woot, Jay Park!)

Ex3: "He put his thingey in me!" or the uses of other horribly chosen diction.

• Can I just not comment on this and consider it self explanatory? There are so many other words that could have replaced that that could have actually made it sound intellectual and worthwhile to read (and then there's some others...).

• It's like an insult to male ia... though I suppose the females don't get that much redemption considering "he touched me there." I don't know where there is, and if it's like a tropical resort, can we go on vacation?

• Just...no. (nuf said)

Ex4: After a bad break up: "I will never love again." Few minutes later: "I love her."

• You know, even just making the timespan in between these two ridiculously long would have been a fix, because as we all know the cheesy line, "Time heals all wounds." (Though of course, "life's a and then you die" also applies, but I'm selectively optimistic, and I shall go with the former quote this time!) However, no, most of the time, it's nearly always the shortest timespan possible and there's that sudden shift in attitude.

• He could just be stupid too...but I'm selectively optimistic, as I said...

• B-I-P-O-L-A-R. What does that spell?! "Oh shut up, Karlo" ...hmph, fine. (And even then, not the correct context, because that simple psychological disorder is much more serious than the stereotypical meaning)

• Guess what, your character just completely contradicted themselves within a matter of seconds (or minutes) of reading. Can you say smack to da ego~

3) Why actually checking your work is important.

Ex1: "But I don't want to be with Jonghyun! She already has a girlfriend!"

• So apparently, Kim Jonghyun of SHINee not only has a pretty good voice, but has amazing gender bender powers where he can be selectively male or female when he wants, and he wanted to get a little this time because he's a she and has a girlfriend. I guess he's curious as to how it feels to be a lesbian. (Note: this is not meant to be offensive...)

Ex2: "I crouched down to pick it up. It was a tear-drop blood-red gem pendant on a thin gold chain."

• This is actually from my collab with Alex (staticdream) "What Goes Around" where Nichkhun picks up this pendant from the ground after he had just finished arguing with another of our characters.

• Now, grammatically, there's nothing wrong with this sentence, and it seems all too random to be put into here. However, here's the deal. Having the typical cliche ideology of using this to bring these two characters together, we actually neglected this item, and it never came back up in the story, thus, lack of planning and not remembering what we've written becomes the flaw.

• On a side note, you should totally go read that story linked on the title in the first bullet (hahaha, shameless advertising). Then again, you might cringe as much as we did when writing it and including all these science references.

Ex3: "A/N: OMG, I didn't realize how mean I made in in the last chappie, so just imagine him not as mean, k?~"

• What if I don't want to imagine him as being "not as mean," huh?

• Read your work over, even if just for the briefest moment in those "in-between" moments when you're thinking about what to write next.

• Having the reader imagine things is only a good thing when it's purposely done, not accidentally. Don't have them imagine something because of your own faults, fix them. As much as possible, everything in your story must be either explain, or be knowledge that one can look up or have reference to, and I don't think one can really reference mistakes by "OMFG, THIS PERSON MADE THE SAME MISTAKE LIKE THIS OTHER AUTHOR, AND OBVIOUSLY, IT WOULD MEAN THIS!"

Moral of the Passage:

Giving people random superpowers in the middle of a story is not appealing... or in other words.

Make your story believable.

A/N: If you would like to read this chapter's original counterpart blog, you can do so HERE.