One night, Kiseop was trying the new drink he has spent about an hour to make. But seriously it doesn’t taste as good as he expected. While thinking about what he did wrong in the process, there is a sudden knock on the door. Being taken aback, he spills the drink all over his pajama. He hurriedly cleans himself up and runs to open the door.

“Hello.” His head peeks out from the door.

“Hi, Kiseop.” The other greets as soon as he sees Kiseop’s face.

“Oh, Hoonie. What are you doing here at this time?” Kiseop asks opening the door widely.

“Can I sleep over tonight?” Hoon asks heaving a sigh.

“Of course. Come in.” Kiseop says happily then stands aside to let Hoon in.

“What’s wrong with your clothing?” Hoon his eyebrow looking the other from head to toe.

“Oh, wait for me. I need to change. I’ll explain later. And you have to explain too.” Kiseop replies huskily running into his room.

“Okay.” Hoon nods his head watching Kiseop amusingly. Kiseop looks really silly and clumsy but for a matter of fact, his character isn’t like his appearance much. Hoon is sure of that.

“Oh, I have just changed the guest room into a film developing room. You can visit it. Make yourself at home. I think I’ll take a shower.” Kiseop says sticking his head out.

After that, Kiseop closes the door to his room leaving Hoon alone. Opening the door Hoon assumes to be the door of the guest room, he carefully comes in. This is definitely a film developing room since it’s really dark and Hoon can tell there are a lot of photos here. It takes him some time to adjust to the poor light. He looks around the room admiring Kiseop’s beautiful pictures. It can be taken at sunrise or sunset, Hoon isn’t sure. It can be a cloudless sky or a rainy one. It can be some kids playing around or a loving couple sitting on a park bench. Some are still unfinished. Some are hung on a rope. No one can deny Kiseop’s talent for photography. There was a time Hoon suddenly thought about what U-KISS members would do when they were no longer in entertainment world. He couldn’t imagine the future of the others except for Kiseop. The guy could be an excellent photographer. His skills could make a large amount of money for his life. He could travel around the world and become extremely well-known.

Hoon reminisces that time then chuckles to himself. Unfortunately, he strips over something and bangs his head hard on the shelf. A book that is placed on the edge of the shelf is fallen down onto the floor. Hoon, after rubbing his swelled head, carefully picks the book up. He slowly opens it. To his surprise, the book turns out to be an album and the unexpected thing is that it is about Kim Jaeseop. All the pictures are Jaeseop’s images when he ate, slept, sang, danced, played... Under each picture, there is a note written about the dates, occasions and Kiseop’s comments. To make it simple to imagine, the album is full of Kiseop’s love for Jaeseop.

Hoon quickly closes the book and places it where it belongs to. He then gets out of the film developing room to the living room. Sitting on a sofa, he starts to ruffle his hair. Why doesn’t he realize that earlier? Kiseop is suffering from a one-sided love with Jaeseop. It’s the reason why the guy has always been perfecting himself after Jaeseop’s joining in U-KISS. It’s the reason why he has always been trying his best in everything. It’s the reason why he has always been working nonstop. People usually wonder why he puts so many attempts. He wants to appear in his best condition in front of his love. It’s the reason why he has changed after Jaeseop’s departure. It’s the reason why he has cared less about his appearance. It’s the reason why he has put on a fake face every day.    

What should Hoon do now since he has known the truth behind? Kiseop definitely hasn’t confessed to Jaeseop yet. He must be really tired to keep that great love as a secret. Jaeseop’s departure must hurt him a lot. How can he still put on such a good act? Hoon really admires Kiseop’s acting talent and hates him for that too. Should he advise Kiseop to confess? What if Jaeseop didn’t return his feelings? It must be hurt a million times as much as he is suffering now. But if he keeps on living like this, he will soon get exhausted physically and mentally. Or should he tell Kiseop to give up on this love? It can be considered as a solution, can’t it? Heaving a deep sigh, Hoon drops his back on the soft surface of the sofa. This is so complicated and frustrating...               

Kiseop seems to be happier these days. He must be used to living like that and he has Hoon accompany him all the time. He asks the other out more often and laughs more heartily. And that somewhat puts Hoon’s mind at ease.

“Hoon, are you free this weekend?” Kiseop asks taking a seat next to Hoon on a bench in the dressing room.

“I think so. Want to go out with me?” Hoon asks jokingly.

“Kind of. I want to go to the beach.” Kiseop answers after nudging at the other’s side.

“In this cold winter?” Hoon asks in shock.

“But I really want to.” The older guy insists starting to use his aegyo.

“Aish… seriously, what do you have on your mind?” Hoon asks looking at Kiseop like he is insane.

“Please.” Kiseop modulates his voice.                                               

“You know I won’t say no to you.” the other sighs in defeat.

“Thanks, Hoonie.” Kiseop exclaims happily jumping around.

“Where do you want us to meet?” Hoon questions the male, who has just turned into a bunny, then pulls him down.

“I’ll pick you up at your house at eight. Remember to dress something really warm.” Kiseop replies then runs out of the room.

Seriously Hoon can’t imagine that such a happy weirdo actually has a broken heart inside. He will do anything to help the older guy within the bounds of the possibility.

At the weekend, Kiseop drops by Hoon’s house to pick him up. The drive to the beach is really comfortable. They talk about some random things. After finding somewhere to park his car, Kiseop catches up with Hoon. They go to the beach together. They take off their shoes and leave them far from the water. The older boy rushes to the sea like a little deer meets its stream. In some ways, they really look like a couple. Kiseop jumps around to play with the waves like a naughty “girlfriend” while Hoon silently follows the other like a pensive “boyfriend”. If only they were a real couple. Things wouldn’t be so hard then. Hoon would always take care of Kiseop and the older guy wouldn’t have to hide himself so much.  

Just as expected, the weather is really freezing. The cold dry air makes their lips turn blue. Luckily their hands haven’t frozen yet. And the breezes, they don’t make the situation any better. But strangely the water is pretty warm so Kiseop’s feet are really comfortable now. Hoon still hasn’t joined yet since he’s pretty afraid of the coldness of water. Kiseop stops in his track turning around to face the other.     

“Hoon, why don’t you play? It’s really fun!” Kiseop yells since the wind somewhat prevents them from hearing clearly.

“What fun?” Hoon shouts back.

“Play with me!” Kiseop orders firmly.

After pulling up his pants, Hoon unwillingly steps in the water and is taken aback by the comfort water gives him. Unfortunately he is going with a naughty kid so the moment doesn’t last long. Kiseop just keeps on kicking water to his legs and dragging him around. Hoon doesn’t really get what fun the older is enjoying. He’s like… the most screwball person in the world! Anyway Hoon likes Kiseop this way more than the hard-working and well-hiding side of his.

Getting tired of the water, Kiseop drags Hoon to the beach and plays with the sand. They wander for a while before the older guy goes quiet. Kiseop then sits down and intently looks at millions of tiny grains of sand. Hoon is wondering how the other’s mood can change so quickly.

“If only my heart was a grain of sand.” Kiseop whispers under his breath gently picking up some sand.

“Why?” Hoon asks sitting down next to the other.

“If so, my heart wouldn’t get broken anymore.” Kiseop answers sadly.

“Kiseop?” Hoon calls.

“Huh?” Kiseop looks aside to catch Hoon’s eyes.

“Don’t you think that a grain of sand is too small to contain anything?” Hoon gives out a reason.

“You’re right.” Kiseop agrees. Why doesn’t he think of it? He only knows a side of a problem. He only wants not to get broken. But if so, his heart would be so empty and poor.

“Your love is growing nonstop. A grain of sand can’t hold it all.” Hoon adds.

Kiseop is very surprised to know that Hoon is aware of the fact that he is in love. However, it doesn’t matter now. If it is Hoon that knows his secret, he can still trust and forgive the other. A part of him tells him to stop the subject. But somewhere in his mind, there is a voice that insists him on confiding in Hoon. Maybe, everything will be better if you have someone with you.  

“I think so too.” Kiseop, after a while of the mental conflict, nods his head. The feeling of being understood is somewhat warm and enjoyable. Back to his problem, Hoon is true. Every day he loves Jaeseop more and more. That love, despite hurting him, gives him a joy of life too. He doesn’t want to lose it, lose that magical feeling when he sees Jaeseop smile or look at him with a sparkling look.  

“You have a great heart. Let your heart be itself.” Hoon says thoughtfully.

“Just love when you still can. Don’t hold it back. Or force yourself to fall out of love. Those actions only bleed you dry, Kiseop.” Hoon continues in a soft voice.

Kiseop remains silent with his head hung low. Hoon’s words are all correct. He knows that himself. But he just can’t live with them. He doesn’t want to risk anything. He wants to keep everything stable no matter how tired he might get. However, his theory appears to be totally wrong. Day by day, he gradually loses his control over the growing feelings for Jaeseop. He thinks that someday he will explode if he keeps on living this way. Thanks to Hoon, Kiseop can open his mind now since he isn’t alone anymore.

“At least you have to try your best to achieve what you want. You aren’t the kind of people that are fearful of hardship, are you? Go and confess to Jaeseop.” Hoon finally finishes. It feels like the burden on his shoulders has been lifted. He doesn’t know if Kiseop will hear him. But he has tried as much as he can to help his best friend.

“I will.” Kiseop responds after a while of thinking.   

Silence fills the space between them. Although it’s not so comfortable, it’s essential this time.       

“You ruined today!” Kiseop stands up dusting off the sand from his hands. He looks at the other with glistening eyes.

“What?” Hoon widens his eyes in shock because of the sudden change in Kiseop’s voice and action.

“You have to make up for that.” Kiseop nudges at the other’s side.

“I want ice cream.” He continues not letting Hoon have a chance to reply.

“Huh?” Hoon is still in shock.

“Ice-cream! Buy me ice-cream!” Kiseop insists swinging the other’s arm.

Hoon sighs in defeat then leaves the beach with Kiseop grinning from ear to ear. Kiseop, despite having many complicated feelings, has a side of silliness. It isn’t he intentionally hides himself behind it or something like that. It’s just he doesn’t show all of his characters. That’s what Hoon has discovered after being so close to Kiseop for quite long. To be honest, Hoon prefers this side to the other ones. 

A/N: I'm such an irresponsible author that can't finish my fic properly =(((((((

But I'll make it soon since there is only one more part =)))))))))))))

HOPE YOU ENJOY READING AND PLEASE COMMENT!!!

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