Chapter 1: I enoyied it ^_^ ... Not being mean but i have to agree with Park_Hyesun... The flow of the story was great but some enthusiam is lost in the dialog of the speach and thought... ^_^ sorry... Other than that amazing and very touching :)
Chapter 1: I enoyied it ^_^ ... Not bring mean but i have to agree with Park_Hyesun... The flow of the story was great ut enthusiam is lost in the dialog of speach... ^_^ sorry... Other than that amazing and very touching :)
Chapter 1: Your story writing is pretty good! The tenses are okay, I don't see typo errors and the flow is nice.
However, I would like to point out something if you don't mind. ^^; In your dialogues such as ("Anything" he replied with a soothing voice.) and ("Sure honey" I replied softly.) a punctuation mark, comma, question mark or exclamation mark would be placed at the end of it.
For example, it would be ("Anything," he replied with a soothing voice.) and ("Sure honey," I replied softly.) Uh, that is what I meant. ^^; Sorry if I don't make sense.
Keep up with your writing! It's an enjoyable read.
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