------------------------------------

 

"You need to tell him, Jongin."

 

Joonmyeon's words from last evening wouldn't leave Jongin's head. He knew Joonmyeon was right. He really needed to tell Kyungsoo. It was the correct thing to do. And besides, he couldn't risk going mad like Kyungsoo did.

 

So, Jongin took his phone to his hand and picked Kyungsoo's number with his shaking fingers. Slowly, taking a deep breath, Jongin called the number. The phone rang, rang, rang.. Kyungsoo didn't answer. Jongin could feel his spirit and strength decreasing, but he couldn't give up now. So he tried again. And again. And again.

 

It turned out to be that Kyungsoo was hard to get trough to these days. He wouldn't answer Jongin's calls or text messages, and during practice and recording Kyungsoo would promptly ignore Jongin and everyone else. And straight from the practice Kyungsoo would always run to either Super Junior's or SHINee's dorm.

 

Jongin's determination level slowly decreased. But at the same time his irritation rose very high. He needed to talk to Kyungsoo!

 

After four days Jongin finally snapped. They were recording their comeback single once again - the rap-parts were apparently not striking enough. Chanyeol - very tired and annoyed virus this time - was on the recording booth, Joonmyeon was trying to make the staff let them go a little earlier, Sehun was playing some card game with staff and Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo was just leaning boredly against the wall. 

 

Jongin sighed and then walked up to Kyungsoo, grabbing his wrist and pulling him outside the recording room, gaining strange glances from his band mates. Kyungsoo tried to stop Jongin, but the dancer, although younger than Kyungsoo, was much stronger, so he failed. 

 

"Jongin, stop", Kyungsoo said. His voice was harsh and cold, but Jongin promptly ignored him. He kept on pulling Kyungsoo, until they were far enough from anyone. 

 

Finally he stopped and turned to look at irritated Kyungsoo. He still kept his hand on Kyungsoo's wrist, trying his hardest to ignore the loud thumping of his heart. 

 

"Jongin, what is it?" Kyungsoo asked, because somehow Jongin found it really hard to even open his mouth.

 

"Uhh.."

 

"Jongin. Please. You dragged me out here, so you must have something to say to me. Now, speak", Kyungsoo ordered.

 

"I.. I just.. You have been ignoring us", Jongin said, and mentally hit himself. Stating the obvious, great job, Jongin.

 

"Yeah, I have been."

 

"And.. You haven't answered my calls."

 

"Yeah, that's true also", Kyungsoo said, somewhat bored. "Can you already say what you want to say?"

 

"Umm.. yeah. But not here. This is very private thing. Can you please just once come with us to the dorms? And talk to me?" Jongin pleaded, trying his best to look very cute and pitiful. Kyungsoo sighed. He couldn't stay mad at Jongin for a long time. 

 

"Fine."

 

Jongin blinked. "Really?" A big, goofy smile rose to his face and he hugged Kyungsoo quickly, before realizing what he had done and pushing Kyungsoo quickly away. "Sorry."

 

Kyungsoo chuckled. Chuckled! Jongin could feel butterflies fly in his stomach. He had really missed that heavenly sound! It had been so long since they had really enjoyed their time together and laughed and chatted happily. Jongin wished oh-so-badly that they could soon do it. 

 

"So, you'll come with us? Promise?" Jongin asked, and Kyungsoo nodded.

 

"Promise."

 

----------------------------------------

 

Jongin was nervous. No, he was beyond nervous. He might even die soon. His palms were sweaty and his heart beat as fast as he had just ran a marathon. Which he didn't. He had just stood, waiting for the recording to be over, then walked to the van and then sat down, next to Kyungsoo. And no one was currently even staring at Jongin! Everyone was staring at Kyungsoo! Well, not staring. Actually everyone tried not to stare at Kyungsoo, but they all failed. Expect Jongin, who could only stare outside, not seeing a thing. That was how nervous he was. It was like his brain was working at double - if not even triple - speed, yet he understood nothing of the world around him. 

 

The trip back to the dorms was killing Jongin, and not so slowly. It was killing him very, very quickly. He could feel Kyungsoo's arm's warmth against his bare arm (Jongin was wearing a wife-beater, not caring enough about the cold weather). He could smell Kyungsoo's scent clearly. He had really missed that sweet scent. Sleeping in Kyungsoo's bed hadn't helped at all.

 

When the van finally reached their dorm, time seemed to speed up. Before Jongin could comprehend it, he was sitting at the floor of his room, facing Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo looked very confused, and Jongin knew he had to tell him now. But it was just that right now all the possible scenarios of 'how this can go so, so wrong' played in Jongin's head.

 

First of all, Jongin could ruin their perfectly satisfying friendship. Kyungsoo might wanna change his room mate and stop talking to Jongin completely. Second of all, Kyungsoo might start yelling at him and hitting at him because Jongin is just a damn coward and a disgusting person. Or maybe Kyungsoo will tell everyone and they will laugh at him together and then everyone will stop talking to him!

 

Jongin gulped. He was scared. But he had to do this. Kyungsoo needed to know.

 

"Okay.. So.. I don't really know how to tell this, but I'll try", Jongin started, then taking a deep breath, trying not to look at Kyungsoo's huge, expecting eyes. He his dry as sand lips and breathed out. And then in. And then he opened his mouth, and from the corner of his eyes he could see Kyungsoo tensing, and leaning a little closer to Jongink, waiting eagerly for his words.

 

"I.. think.. I like you, Kyungsoo!" Jongin said, almost shouting the last part, and he immediately hated how it didn't turn out to be at all how he had planned it to be. He hadn't really planned on shouting, or saying 'think' or 'I like you' because those words were not true. He had to try again. "I mean.. I am sure of it!" Now Jongin was looking straight at Kyungsoo. "I am sure that I love you!"

 

There. He had done it. Kim ing Jongin had finally done it! 

 

'I can die now in peace', Jongin thought, burying his red face into his cold hands. 

 

The threading silence lasted for what felt like hours. Finally, when Jongin was 100% sure that Kyungsoo had already left the room, he lifted his face from his hands. 

 

"Oh, God.." Jongin breathed, his heart breaking from the sight in front of him. Kyungsoo hadn't left, and apparently the reason for his silent was that he was crying.

 

'I made him cry! I made my dear Kyungsoo cry!' was only thing Jongin was able to think when he hurriedly pulled the crying man into his arms. Kyungsoo started sobbing as soon as Jongin's both arms were tightly around his back and waist. 

 

"I'm so sorry, Kyungsoo", Jongin whispered. 

 

"No, no, don't say that, Jongin", Kyungsoo said in between his sobs. "I need to apologize to you! I have been an lately."

 

"What?! No, you haven't! You have had just really hard time", Jongin answered, shocked at Kyungsoo's words. In his arms, Kyungsoo shook his head. 

 

"Apparently you have been hurting too, and I haven't even thought about it!" Kyungsoo said, and sobbed even harder. 

 

"Shh, don't say a word, Kyungsoo. Just cry", Jongin said gently, and felt Kyungsoo's hands sneak around his shoulders. Jongin cursed his heart that started beating faster. He wasn't supposed to think about those things now that his Kyungsoo was sad and crying.

 

It took Kyungsoo a while to stop crying, but Jongin never complained. When Kyungsoo was sure he could talk without his voice breaking, he gently pushed Jongin away. They stared at each other's eyes: Kyungsoo felt weak when he saw fear and hurt in Jongin's dry eyes and Jongin felt sad when he saw how wet and shiny Kyungsoo's eyes were.

 

"Why.." Kyungsoo started, not being able to finish. He was so confused right now, towards Jongin, towards himself.

 

Jongin realized what Kyungsoo had wanted to ask, and finished his words: "Why do I love you?"

 

Kyungsoo nodded, looking embarrassed, but very curious at the same time. "Do you really love me?"

 

"Yes, I do", Jongin said. He found that it was easier to talk about his feelings now that he had confessed. "I love you like you love Joonmyeon and how Joonmyeon loves Sehun. Like a girl loves a boy."

 

"Oh", Kyungsoo could only say. After a while, he added: "But why? I am not a good person.. I am a horrible person."

 

Jongin sighed. He hated how poorly Kyungsoo thought of himself. "You are a good person. You are gently and very friendly. You are fun, and you always make me laugh and smile. I feel warm and fuzzy when I am with you. I can only relax if you are with me. Your cookings taste better than any other food, and your laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world.. And I am starting to sound so very cheesy and greasy now. But I can continue this if you want. I never stop finding good sides of you."

 

Kyungsoo blushed. He was speechless. Yet, he still couldn't quite believe Jongin. "But there's so much bad things in me! I get angry easily and when I am angry I stay angry! I can be lazy sometimes. I.. I shouted at Sehun.. And Joonmyeon. I ignore others' feelings. I am so selfish, Jongin. How could someone ever love a person like me!?"

 

"Easily!" Jongin shouted, surprising them both. "I mean, I love you. I know you have bad points, like always waking me up too early and making me clean our room when it's already clean enough.. And I know that sometimes you bottle up your anger and fear inside too much and you explode, but it is human thing to do! You are just a human! Like all of us."

 

"Jongin.."

 

"Kyungsoo, I know you might not see how great person you truly are, but trust me when I say that I'll make you see it. It might take years, but I won't give up. My feelings for you will never die."

 

"But.. Jongin, you know I love Joonmyeon", Kyungsoo said silently. "It must bother you!"

 

Jongin sighed. Of course he knew that, and he would never forget it. "Of course it bothers me, and hurts me. But I can take all of that. I just need you to be by my side, as my friend. I ask nothing more. Just for you to be happy."

 

"Jongin.."

 

"Shush now, Kyungsoo. I love you. Nothing will ever change that! You might fall in love with someone else, and they might fall in love with you, you might break up with them and then find a new love. And trough all of that, I will stay by your side."

 

Kyungsoo couldn't help but smile. Jongin's word made him feel stupidly warm and happy, even though he still didn't think he had the right to feel that way. 

 

"Thank you, Jongin. Thank you so much", Kyungsoo said and quickly gave Jongin a hug. Then he looked at the dancer's sincere eyes. "I promise you now, that I'll become a better person. For you."

 

Jongin grinned. "You don't need to become a better person, dumb. You are already perfectly imperfect to me!"

 

Kyungsoo could only laugh, and Jongin felt how his cheeks turned red at the sound of the bright, happy laughter. 

 

"You're laughing! That's improvement!"

 

"Yeah, yeah it is!" Kyungsoo said and laughed some more. 

 

"You wanna go and apologize to others now?" Jongin asked. Kyungsoo sighed and nodded.

 

"Yes. I just hope they will forgive me."

 

"Of course they will!" Jongin said. He stood up and offered Kyungsoo a hand. Kyungsoo took it gladly and pulled himself up.

 

"Now let's go!" Jongin said smiling. Kyungsoo nodded, scared but still happy, and they left the room, previously so cold and depressing, that now had been filled with laughter and warm feelings.

 

And Jongin noticed, as he hold Kyungsoo's warm hand, that telling Kyungsoo he loved him was the best thing that had happened to him. Even though he knew Kyungsoo would never love him back.

 

---------------------------------

 

Joonmyeon looked at Sehun worriedly. The whole EXO-K was once again gathered in the kitchen, and the tension was once again very high. Everyone was looking at Kyungsoo who was next to Jongin, both of them awkwardly exchanging glances. 

 

Kyungsoo was going over and over again in his head how he should start and what he should say. He wasn't sure if Joonmyeon and Sehun would ever forgive him. The words he had said to them.. how can one ever apologize enough for them? But Kyungsoo knew he had to at least try. 

 

'Well, here goes nothing', Kyungsoo thought when no one had said a word for a while.

 

"So, I guess everyone knows why we are here again?" Kyungsoo asked, trying to smile and look brave. It would have gone well if his huge, scared looking eyes wouldn't have betrayed him.

 

Joonmyeon nodded, but Sehun shook his head, and Kyungsoo could feel a horrible sinking feeling settle in his stomach.

 

"I really don't know, Kyungsoo. Are you going to shout at me again?" Sehun asked coldly, earning a huff from Joonmyeon. Now that Joonmyeon knew the reason why Kyungsoo had been so mad, he found it a lot easier to forgive the guy. And he really wished Sehun could too.

 

"Sehun! Sorry, Kyungsoo, he doesn't mean tha--"

 

"I mean it!" Sehun snapped, surprising Joonmyeon. It was very, very rare to see Sehun like this: angry and picking a fight. 'Though I guess he had the right to..', Joonmyeon thought. 

 

"You made it pretty clear last time that you hate me with all your guts", Sehun said, and Kyungsoo's 'brave' smile faltered. Kyungsoo could feel tears forming into his eyes, but he willed them to go away - he had already cried way too much today!

 

When Jongin sensed that Kyungsoo wasn't going to say anything, he stepped in front of Kyungsoo. Now everyone's eyes were on him.

 

"I understand why you are so angry at Kyungsoo, Sehun, but please give him a change to apologize", Jongin said. 

 

Sehun didn't say a thing. Joonmyeon, sensing Sehun discomfort, circled his arm around younger's slim waist. Thankfully Sehun leaned his body against his boyfriends body, which although was smaller than his, gave him huge amount of strength. Sehun sighed and nodded at Jongin and Kyungsoo.

 

"Let's hear it then. It better be good", he said. Truthfully, he was eager to already put all of this behind them, and he really didn't care if Kyungsoo's apologizising happened to be bad. It was the thought that counted.

 

Kyungsoo nodded and gently nudged Jongin to give him some room. Jongin looked at Kyungsoo for a while, then stepping aside so everyone could have a good view on Kyungsoo. 

 

Kyungsoo cleared his throat nervously. He slowly looked at Chanyeol, who smiled at him encouragingly. Then he looked at Baekhyun sitting at the table, who nodded at him. He smiled at the two boys, feeling happy that they weren't judging him. Finally he looked at Joonmyeon and Sehun.

 

"I probably don't even need to say this, but I have been an lately. First, hitting Sehun, who did nothing to deserve it. Then, yelling at all of you, and even at Joonmyeon who is my best friend and the most caring and amazing guy on the planet. I truly regret it all. I regret it so much..."

 

Sehun bit his lip. Kyungsoo looked like he was about to burst into tears any moment now. But he needed to hear those two words.. He needed them.

 

"You hate me now, and I... It hurts me. Sehun, Joonmyeon, I am so, so sorry..." Kyungsoo's voice broke at the end, and tears spilled to his pale face. "Will you ever be able to forgive me?" Now his voice was just a mere whisper.

 

"Idiot", Sehun breathed out, stepped forward and enveloped Kyungsoo into tight hug. "I have already forgiven you, Kyungsoo. I forgave you during the same day you shouted at us!"

 

After Sehun's words, everyone joined the hug, and Kyungsoo could only cry harder, clutching Sehun's shirt tightly.

 

"You are all so dumb", Chanyeol said, but his voice was warm and filled with love. Everyone laughed, and Joonmyeon felt how his heart was about to burst from the amount of love and adoration he felt towards his brothers. 

 

The hug lasted for many minutes, until Kyungsoo's said silently that he couldn't breath. Everyone parted awkwardly, and looked at Kyungsoo, who had red eyes, but was nonetheless smiling widely.

 

"Thanks guys", Kyungsoo said with his still a little shaky voice. Baekhyun chuckled and ruffled Kyungsoo's hair affectionately.

 

"No need to thank us, Kyungsoo. Just make sure you won't make such a scene ever again!"

 

Kyungsoo nodded furiously. "I know I won't." And in his mind he added: 'thanks to Jongin.'

 

------------------------------

 

"Sehun, this is so awkward", Joonmyeon said, pulling his hood deeper to cover his face better. He looked around himself to make sure no one recognizes him, but when he saw all the very suspicious things around him, he quickly snapped his eyes back at Sehun, who was standing in front of him.

 

"Quit complaining, Joonmyeonnie. This is necessary if you ever want to have ."

 

Joonmyeon blushed. "Don't be so loud!"

 

Sehun huffed and turned around to face Joonmyeon. "Don't be so scared. No one will see us. Look - there's no one here but us and the cashier!"

 

"Well, the cashier is a one too much!" Joonmyeon whined. Sehun just rolled his eyes, grabbed Joonmyeon's hand and pulled him towards a shelf full of.. s. 

 

"Oh my god Sehun we don't need those what are you doing let me go Sehun pleaaaase!"

 

Sehun blushed when he noticed all of the s. "I swear I am not going there, Joonmyeon!" Sehun said and to boost his words he dragged Joonmyeon to a vending machine. "This is where I wanted to go."

 

"Oooh", Joonmyeon said, and forgot his awkwardness (and growing curiosity towards the wondrous stuff that the toy shop they were was full of). He looked at all of the different kinds of condoms. "Hmm.. Hey, Sehunnie, look! This one tastes like honey!" 

 

Sehun chuckled, happy to see Joonmyeon happy and excited. "I prefer strawberry flavour. Look, here's one!" 

 

It took them a while to decide on the flavour (Joonmyeon wanted either plain or the honey one and Sehun wanted something sweet which Joonmyeon quickly declined - weren't meant to taste like strawberries and sunshine he says). After settling on the plain flavoured, they faced another obstacle - the size.

 

"You aren't that big, Sehun!" Joonmyeon complained, when Sehun was about to choose the biggest size. 

 

"Oh someone hasn't been looking hard enough! I am actually even bigger than this!"

 

Joonmyeon let out a strange noise between a groan, huff, laugh and a snort. "Yeah, right. You're only medium."

 

Sehun looked shocked. "Are you kidding me? If I am medium then you are so small they don't even have a size for you!"

 

Joonmyeon closed his eyes, slowly counting to ten - then to to twenty and then to thirty - and when he had calmed down, he opened his eyes and looked at Sehun, using all of his leadery-might.

 

"We'll take medium and big. Okay?"

 

Sehun sighed and nodded. "Sure."

 

Joonmyeon inserted the money and chose the plain, medium and large sized condoms. Sehun picked them up and checked them carefully.

 

"Well, I think they are okay. Now the lube?" Sehun asked, looking at Joonmyeon.

 

"Yep."

 

It didn't take them long to find and choose the lube (which was a relief to both of the boy because they really wanted to get out of the shop after seeing some very, very scary looking stuff). 

 

Then, thinking they would soon be safely at home, they met another porblem. Once again.

 

"You will pay", Joonmyeon hissed to Sehun behind the lube shelf. They were both glancing at the cashier girl, who was reading something while listening to a iPod, not minding the bickering couple.

 

"No way! You are the leader!" Sehun reasoned.

 

"I am surprised that you even remembered that, Sehunnie. You never treat me as a leader, so why would you now? Go and pay the lube", Joonmyeon said, nudging Sehun forwards. Sehun used all of his strength to stop Joonmyeon and turned quickly to face him.

 

"No! You go!"

 

"No, I won't. She'll recognize me!"

 

"Hah! No one will ever recognize you!" Sehun said, and immediately regretted it as he saw a flint of hurt in Joonmyeon's eyes. He knew he had hit his boyfriend's weakest spot: his popularity. Everyone knew Joonmyeon wasn't as popular as the other members, and Sehun knew very well how much it bothered the leader.

 

"I'm sorry, Joonmyeon", Sehun whispered, grabbing Joonmyeon's hand and squeezing it gently. Joonmyeon looked at him with a weak smile on his face, and Sehun could feel coldness in his lungs.

 

"It's okay, Sehunnie. I know you didn't mean it", Joonmyeon said silently. Sehun sighed, rubbing Joonmyeon's hand with his thumb.

 

"I'll go pay for this lube and you'll wait here, okay?" Sehun said and without waiting for answer he breathed in, let go of Joonmyeon's hand and walked to the cashier. 

 

Joonmyeon looked at Sehun's back and smiled, but he still felt a little sad. He didn't like to be reminded of his small popularity, especially from his boyfriend. 

 

Before Joonmyeon could start fully pitying himself, Sehun came back and Joonmyeon had to stifle a laugh behind his palm because Sehun looked absolutely hilarious - with his red as tomato face and widened eyes and mouth hanging open and hand holding a bag that read with a big, black letter's : SEOUL Y PLEASURE SHOP. And the cashier behind him, waving and winking at them and grinning so wildly her face almost broke in half.

 

"Let's go. Now", Sehun said and started dragging giggling Joonmyeon out of the store and along the streets all the way to their dorms. When they reached their dorms and Joonmyeon was still giggling at Sehun, the maknae snapped and punched - softly - Joonmyeon's arm.

 

"Stop giggling. I did it for you", Sehun said, blushing again. 

 

Joonmyeon started laughing even louder now. "Did you see how people stared at us? At your bag.."

 

Sehun gasped. He hadn't realized he had been showing the embarrassing text to the whole world. 

 

"If fangirls saw us and took pictures, it's all your fault!" Sehun exclaimed before running to their room, promptly ignoring BaekYeol sending strange looks at them.

 

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A/N: I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK LIKE A MONTH!! sorry.. I wanted this to be the last chapter but it was really taking me a while to write even this, and i didn't want to keep you waiting too much so I decided to give you this :) The next chapter will really, really be the last! 

 

Well, I hope you like this and don't kill me for being so slow :___: