jaejoong one kiss ^_^ the chapter song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsD6k9SRIIA

For so long I didn't know how I can live after what I have been through and for so long I was too confused to realize why I really wanted to live … I forgot the reasons but was never able to let go of the causes and what brought me to be the person I turned to be .

Well it is not easy at all, me in front of this world dragging myself and searching for what is coming next and what kind of pain I should get ready to go through…

I hold back my breath as I feel hands hugging me from behind, I try but can't realize whose hands are those, I panicked ,and felt my heart bursting with fear, who is it I try to know and suddenly I got spinning and face him, with his deep brown eyes that I so well know…

"What are you doing? What do you want from me?" I said with the left drops of courage I have

"Do you know how hard it is to see you hanging around, as we use to do, but with someone else, someone not me?"He said with tears forming in his eyes

I gasped, couldn't believe my ears, is it real I didn't know because before I manage to think he crushed his dry lips to mine, and with my eyes widened I stopped thinking, I try to ignore what I feel, but as his lips dance on mine , flood of tears came out of my forever wet eyes , I recall all the memories we had, the first time we confessed, the first kiss we shared and all the other sweet things, and suddenly a picture of him looking at the bleeding me and laughing showed up inside of my mind, that day when he asked me not to go and I left and went with the one I don't want to remember his name, to come home later with blood between my thighs…

I push him away and run off as fast as I can, it wasn't his fault, it wasn't taecyeon's fault at all and he warned me from him but I didn't listen… when the Jake me it was my fault that I believed him and wanted to help him to take care of his never existed sick mother ….

I thought we were friends but Taecyeon never liked me being friend with that monster and when I came home that day I couldn't look at him…

Taecyeon, to lose him that way was too harsh and unbearable but how would I expect from him to tale me when I'm ruined? When I'm not me anymore? I just prefer to let him go and ask him to go away other than asking him to stay and suffer with me from the results of my reckless stupid actions…

한번 더 내 맘을 알아줘 널 위한 눈물을 받아줘
사랑은 바라지도 않았던 끝난 얘기 다 지난 얘기

(trans: Consider my heart one more time, accept my tears just one more time
They’re just words from the past, words that expected no love in return)

My thought got cut with my phone ring and as I pick up I hardly hear a whispering jun speaking: "I'm at the neighborhood park come please"

I couldn't walk I run to the park and my heart going there before me, I just don't want to see him hurt or in pain, I don't want to even…

, with a white shirt turned red from blood and a dirty full of mud pants with a bleeding face jun crawled toward me… I lost my voice and didn't know what to say, I got closer to him bent down and took his head on my lap and started crying….

"What the hell?? What happened? Who did this to you? Oh my god?? You need a doctor" I managed to say after I had no more tears in my eyes

"tae c c cyeon ga anng" jun.k said squeezing his eyes from pain

I held jun up laying him on my back and walked slowly until I reached the road…with a weak hand I stopped a cap and the driver helped to put jun inside as I got in after him…

I'm so stupid! How had I replied the memories when he kissed me?? How had I actually let myself enjoy it??? What the hell was I thinking…

How dare he do this to Jun?? How can he do this?? Wait a second?? Am I now getting lost?? Am I now having mixed emotions toward them both?? What the am I thinking?? I shakes my head and walk to the lying on bed jun and placed a trembling hand on his forehead as I whisper: " I'm so sorry jun … I'm just so sorry"

[A/N]

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