Chapter 34: Stake

It really shouldn't have come as a surprise. Deep in the backwaters of denial, Baekhyun had known that this moment would come. He had bet against the inevitable. He thought: maybe his affair wouldn't end in disaster. Maybe a miracle would come just in time. He thought: maybe if he denied his preferences for years, no one would find out. Maybe those treacherous desires would just go away. He thought: maybe his relationship with Jaehee was a train without breaks going off the rails, but maybe, maybe that was just how all relationships worked and everything would be fine. He realized, belatedly, that he had hoped it would be. That he and Jaehee, somehow, would work out.

It was a fine line between foolhardy optimism and desperate denial. Baekhyun wasn't sure on which side he fell.      He knocked back his drink and swiped the back of his hand across his lips. He ordered another as he watched Ga In turn around and set her phone on the bar. The soft pout of her lips mirrored the worry in her eyes. She rested her head on his shoulder and exhaled a sigh.      "He's worried about you." She said simply. "You know, if Chan hadn't gotten to you first, I would have tried my luck." Her fingertips danced down his arm. She covered his hand with her own.      He had expected a chastising, perhaps a good talking-to. A spoonful of bitter medicine. Not a bald-faced confession. "Noona!" Baekhyun gaped, startling right out of self-deprecating reverie.

"What?" She resettled herself close, unperturbed, and hugged his side.

"That's-- I just--" Surely there were people who took such things well. He just wasn't one of them. He flushed, heat rising at his neck.

"What?" Her eyes sparkled with humor at his expense. She gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Flattered? Scared? Maybe a little of both?"

"It's-- well, no. But-- technically... I wasn't available." Baekhyun muttered, frowning into his drink. Unavailable hadn't stopped him with Chanyeol. In a moment of weakness, he had forsaken his morals. The current turn of events, no matter which way he sliced it,  was divine moral justice. He nearly let loose the bitter laugh in his chest.

"That didn't stop you with Chanyeol." Ga In echoed his thoughts, looking up from his shoulder. There was no blame in her eyes. "Meaning technically, you cheated?"

The truth of the matter still smarted like a slap in the face. He took a deep swig from his fresh drink, putting it away rather faster than was prudent. It did nothing to ease the cold weight in his gut. "Yes."

Ga In hummed thoughtfully. "Do you regret what you did?"

Despite the noose of guilt tight around his neck, he couldn't produce an answer right away. Did he regret exploring his true self? No. Did he regret doing so at Jaehee's expense? "Yes."

"Does he --or she-- know that?"

"She." Baekhyun said quickly. Then, slower: "I don't know."

"Well it's not some big mystery, Newbie. Did you say so or not?"

"I apologized to her."

"But you didn't say you regret it." Ga In frowned. "Did you say you'd fix things, or how?"

"No. She said it was over between us as soon as she found out." He cringed inwardly at the petulant note in his voice. Still not an adult.

"Is it actually over?"

"Once we cancel the wedding arrangements and inform our families, it will be."

Ga In made an impatient sound in . "But none of that has happened yet."

"No--"

"Then it means she's waiting for you!" Ga In exclaimed. "Or at the very least giving you a chance. Does she love you?"

"I don't know. I suppose."

"Newbie! How can you suppose something like that? If the girl loves you and you hurt her, you have to fix it!"

"But she won't take me back."

Ga In studied him for a long moment. Baekhyun tried not to squirm under her knowing gaze. "Is that really it?" She asked slowly. "If she was good to you, doesn't she deserve more than that?" She shook her head. "You won't know what will happen unless you at least try to make amends. Unless, of course, you don't want to."

"No! I do." Baekhyun straightened.

"Well then do it." Ga In arched her delicate brows and spoke plainly. "Just do it, and don't make any excuses."

Surprisingly, he had no excuses to voice. Several hours and as many drinks later, he slung an arm around Ga In's shoulders as she steered him from the bar. He wove slightly, she gripped tighter. She was warm and steady against his side. Baekhyun smiled to himself.

"Where are you going to go?" Ga In was asking him. "Jjimjilbang?"