Chapter 24: Half-Life

Quiet lingered about the artist & repertoire quarter of the executive floor. Though the office never slept - with executives and stylists, artists and managers, choreographers and producers passing through at all odd hours on any given day - this particular day dawned as the quintessential Monday, a dismal rebirth of responsibility and return to the rat race. Shrouded in grey clouds thick as wool, Spring was, nevertheless, in bloom beneath slate skies, and the planters of flowers surrounding the towering glass edifice of Park Entertainment boasted delicate blossoms of purple and pink. 

The season had grown warm, though the mornings remained cool, and the yellow dust was nigh. The monsoons would follow, washing away the noxious drift with swathes of loud rains and heat waves. The muggy climes of summer had once been welcome to Baekhyun, who preferred the heat to cold, though over the years he had taken to covering up rather than stripping down. Thus his enjoyment of the heat had waned. In pressed suits and crisp shirts, he relied upon the artificial comfort of air conditioning to slog through the wet, sweltering months. It was just as well that the cool of early Spring had lingered about the mornings and late nights, when he was most often out and about, but it took its toll on his health. Compounded with the tumult that plagued his personal life, he both felt and looked the part of a wraith.

A knock sounded at Baekhyun's door. "Executive Byun?" Jongdae asked, poking his head in the doorway to Baekhyun's office. The typically sharp A&R rep was silent and unresponsive for so long that Jongdae had to clear his throat to get his attention.

"Jongdae." Baekhyun snapped back to reality suddenly with a wide-eyed blink. A fingertip rubbed circles into one temple as he leaned on his elbow. A frail weariness clung about his person like early morning fog. Lifting a slender hand, he waved the young associate inside. As he leaned forward on his elbows, the open laptop before him cast a soft whitish glow upon his face.

"Everything alright?" asked Jongdae as he came to stand before Baekhyun's desk. A divot of concern dipped his brow. "You seem a bit out of it." It was a generous assessment for Baekhyun looked ashen and wan, and his face was drawn as if something weighed heavily upon his mind.

Baekhyun managed a smile. It cast little light and sat distantly upon his lips like a long dead star, light years away. "Just fine," he said. The faint hum of cool air pressing through the vents seemed jarring and loud. He touched his fingertips tentatively to his temples, which throbbed dully with remnants of a hangover.

Jongdae studied him impassively for a long moment. Baekhyun could hide some things, certainly, through omission or evasion. However he was a poor liar, a fact that Jongdae knew - and Baekhyun knew Jongdae knew.

He pulled the chair back from the desk and seated himself. "Are there any shows you need me to put you on the list for this week?" Jongdae asked as he opened his notebook and uncapped his pen. He looked expectantly at his senior.

Baekhyun cleared his throat and frowned slightly as he looked at his screen. He quickly navigated to another tab on his browser. Later in the week, Phoenix Rising was part of a lineup of indie acts out in Sinchon, ranging from rock to hip-hop and reggae. It was something of a festival, given the number of acts that turned out each year. There were a few names Baekhyun recognized, and many he didn't. The bar's proximity to several major universities promised a fair turnout. "Sinchon Talent Open at Nori Bar," Baekhyun murmured as he minimized the window with a tap of one finger.

"Any band in particular?" Jongdae asked, lifting a brow. Baekhyun's response was delayed; dismissing this, he shook his head and looked up. He drew a deep breath that made him appear world weary and aged him well past his mid-twenties. As he exhaled he leaned back in his chair and glanced to the window.

Jongdae dutifully noted the request in his agenda, then snapped the book shut, pressing his palms to its leather covers. "Are you sure you're alright, hyung?" Jongdae tried once more, tilting his head slightly. Perhaps from another angle, Baekhyun's closed countenance would reveal more.

"No," Baekhyun admitted without meeting Jongdae's gaze. "But I'll work it out."

Jongdae knew himself to be dismissed, and he rose from the chair. "Mm. If you ever need to talk..." he offered as he held his agenda to his chest. "I'm a good listener." One corner of his lips lifted with a gentle, if wry smile.

Baekhyun sensed his genuineness. "Thanks," he said gratefully, and a measure of tension slipped from his shoulders. However he knew there was little he could share of his current dilemma with Jongdae. As a coworker and friend, he was simply too close. Baekhyun trusted Jongdae implicitly - he had access to all of Baekhyun's personal identification information, filed his expenses, arranged his travel and meetings and attendance at shows - and was as steadfast an associate one could hope to come by. But the weight of Baekhyun's quandary was not one he wished to experience every time he looked Jongdae in the eye, and thus he could not confide in him.

"Don't forget the pre-launch meeting this afternoon," Jongdae reminded helpfully from the doorway. He stalled a moment longer on the threshold, then lifted his hand wth a wave and was gone.

The pre-launch meeting was a final review of the promotional plans for the newest act from Park Entertainment. The all-girl quartet, LADY, was on schedule for their upcoming debut, and despite his busy promotion schedule, Kris had been in the studio with the girls everyday, working out the choreography for his feature between flights back and forth between China and Korea. His appearance on their debut track would help boost the group's ratings and gain music show viewership and popularity by association. As producer of their mini-album, it not only propelled Kris deeper into the spotlight by adding a layer to his career, but also provided a sturdy foundation for the girls' debut.

Baekhyun sat motionless for a long while, reclining in his chair as he watched heavy clouds drift past the tall windows of his office. He considered Kris' unflagging passion for his art, and Chanyeol's similar drive. He compared their constant motion to his own arrested musical career. Had he truly given up his dream just to make his parents happy? He didn't hate his job enough to believe it; it was not so simple. However he still felt like a pawn, confined by rules upon a strict, worn path. He was pushed along, moving from one defined space to another upon the board. But to what end? Only the single-minded goal to reach the other side? And were he to reach it - what was on the other side? Did one simply go out of play, or did they stagnate til the end of the game there, having fulfilled their sole purpose in life?

Such thoughts drew him deeper into himself, til he forgot he was at the office. Cocooned in his chair, he'd nearly dozed off to a fitful sleep when a commotion at his door preceded an ungainly crash against it. A blonde head popped into his office moments later.

"Baekhyun?"

"Sehun--?" Baekhyun blinked widely, sitting up a little straighter as his fingertips fell to his keyboard, so that it looked like he was doing work. "Uh. Are you alright?"

"Just fine~" Sehun laughed a little breathily and his lips curled upwards at the corners in a gentle smile. His face was such that it carried expression in the mildest of ways; even frustration wore gently upon his face. Baekhyun wondered what he was like when angry - if he experienced such deep frustration and entrapment that it agitated him to wits' end the way it did Baekhyun.

"Did you have lunch yet?" Sehun asked with the faintest smile about his eyes. 

Baekhyun remembered well how those eyes had turned his stomach to butterflies years ago. A residual beat of wings fluttered in his gut and he laughed to cover it up.

"I hadn't yet-- is it already so late?" He pushed a hand up through his hair as he realized no less than twenty emails had accumulated since he'd spaced out. "Um. Come in," he said belatedly, realizing Sehun was lingering in the doorway. That was twice in one morning - Baekhyun needed to step up his social graces before he outed himself to the whole world. The more he could do to avoid questions, the better.

The younger man stepped inside with a great deal more composure than expected, given the ruckus from before. "What-- happened just now?" Baekhyun asked. A tick of bemusement widened his eyes as he gestured toward the door.

"Oh--" Sehun scratched at his temple and glanced at the door warily. "I crashed into, uh. Jongdae."

Baekhyun grinned despite himself. "Do you have a habit of walking into people?"

Sehun's lips quirked and his eyes curved to pleasant sickles. Despite the mildness with which emotion sat upon his features, his smiles were most expressive. Baekhyun remembered this well, and was both comforted and discomfited to find it had not changed. "Well to be fair, he walked into me."

Baekhyun coughed. To be fair, he'd walked into Sehun the first time, too. "Right," he said, fighting back a guilty grin. Warmth suffused his skin as embarrassment left him bashful. Sehun's voice drew him back in - Baekhyun could hear the teasing smile upon his lips though he dared not look.

"Anyway, he didn't take it quite as well as you did-- he asked me why I was loitering outside your door. Didn't seem too pleased. He's hawk-eyed, that one."

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