I have always liked the way our hands intertwined together. That way they look, the way they fill up the gaps perfectly and leave no space for anything else. I have always liked how they seem to symbolise the relationship between the two of us, how we are made for one another, how we are drawn together by strings of fate. It’s perfect and I want to show it off to the world.

And that’s the reason why I persist in interlacing our fingers together whenever I have the chance, despite all your protests of sweaty palms, eyeing public and red hot embarrassment. Because I love the way our hands fit each other, and how when I am holding yours I am declaring to the world you are mine, and only mine.

But I have never told you that. Because I do not wish for you to know of the insecure side to me, the fearful side of me. I want you to think I am indomitable, you know? That I am strong and reliable; that I am your safe habour in a raging storm, that I am your shady respite from the glaring sun. I want to be the perfect boyfriend that every girl—or guy—dreams of. I want to be someone you can be proud of.

I want to make you proud.

But I guess it’s already too late. Because you have seen me crying countless times and you have seen me at my weakest. This bravery that I want to project… this image that I want to create, it just falls into pieces the moment you hold me in your arms and ask me in that voice of yours, so softly and so full of love that I know that I have nothing to hide from you. That I have never needed to hide anything from you, because you will always be there to comfort me. Always be there, ready to accept me for who I am, despite my long list of imperfections and flaws.

And just like that, I find myself relying on you instead. I find myself depending on your presence beside me, your warm hand in mine that sometimes I wonder if all my publicised affection for you is for your sake or mine.

But it doesn’t really matter, either way. Because when you turn to me and smile, and smile that very special smile of yours that has my stomach clenching and my heart racing and makes me wonder if I have ever saved a country in the past, I know that everything will turn out fine.

It may be my selfishness, it may be your selfishness, but as long as our hands are interlaced together, everything will be alright.

I think I am getting sappy :P