I woke up this morning super tired which didn’t really surprise me since I was sleepy every time I woke up. On days like this, I literally had to roll off of the bed to wake me up. I did so and made a loud thud! Ow- I didn’t always have the smartest ideas…

I still had my white bear under my arm from last night and I wasn’t planning on letting it go. So, I trudged out into the hallway with it tucked close beside me. I couldn’t hear anyone talking but I could hear that the television was on so I assumed someone was up.

“Good morning Sleeping Beauty,” Fallyn teased when I was finally visible to everyone in the living room. I noticed that Harry had a notebook and was scribbling down things in it frantically.

“Morning,” I grunted in response.

Zayn’s mouth fell open as he just pointed and gaped at me. “You still have Cubby?”

“Of course,” I smiled. “I’ve never left anywhere without him.”

“I can’t believe you still sleep with that thing.”

“I can’t believe you still sleep with your duck nightlight,” I shot back.

Louis gave Zayn a weird look and everyone soon broke out in laughter. “Our tough Zayn has a nightlight in duck shape?”

I nodded my head as Zayn just shot me a look. “I thought we weren’t going to speak of that.”

“Don’t make fun of Cubby and I won’t make fun of Waddles.”

“Aw, it’s okay Zayn. Niall has a teddy bear he takes everywhere too,” Fallyn threw in.

Holy crap, Niall. Last night completely slipped my mind. I glanced over at him to see if he reacted any differently but he still looked like the same old Niall. I hated how guys did that- acted as if nothing happened. It really kind of ticks me off.

“Yep, Bacon,” Niall replied. I rolled my eyes at his response. Of course it was named after food.

“That’s such a stupid name,” Fallyn scowled. “It’s original.”

“You named your blanket, Blanket,” Niall said, giving a confused look.

“So?” Great comeback.

“It’s a My Little Pony blanket,” Niall continued. “She still sleeps with it.”

“Only because you gave it to me! And for your information I was four when I named it!”

“I was four when I named mine too! Geez, as smart as you are you’d think she would have had a better vocabulary than me.”

“I- was- four!” she shouted, picking out each word individually.

“Do they always fight like this?” I whispered to Zayn who was staring blankly at the T.V.

“Not always. Only on days when Fallyn is extremely moody.”

“Ah,” I stated in realization. I didn’t have to question any further; I knew exactly what that was like. When your brother didn’t understand that you were being moody and he just continued to pick on you. It really made you just want to slap them in the face.

A catchy jingle was soon playing aloud on the television and everyone looked over at it. It seemed like it was going to be a cute little commercial, but that’s where I was completely wrong.

It was a commercial set back in the late 1950s. A guy was watching television and soon people on his television were advertising cigarettes. Then they hopped out of the T.V. and offered him one with such a happy tune playing behind him.

Louis grabbed the remote and quickly switched the channel. We all then glanced worriedly at Zayn who I noticed was actually shaking a little bit. I knew that was a sign of withdrawal. He’d been doing that a lot lately but not this bad.

We all then huddled around him and squished him in a big group hug. He gave a weak smile as his shaking seemed to calm down just a bit. I would never understand how difficult this was for him, but I was very proud of him for giving it up. I knew how important this was for him and for his fans as well.

“What’s on our agenda for today?” I asked no one in particular. I was just trying to get off of this cigarette topic.

“Photo shoot,” Louis replied nonchalantly.

“Are those fun?”

“I love them!” Harry exclaimed, finally tearing his eyes away from the notebook. “We just act stupid and people take pictures of it. Quite funny actually.”

“Yeah! We’re gonna be home alone again!” I shouted, giving Fallyn a high-five.

“Are you going to wear our clothes again?” Louis asked. “Cause if you are, I’ll just go out and buy you some suspenders of your own to wear.”

“I would forever love you.”

“Yep, definitely getting her some suspenders.” He gave me a playful wink and a huge smirk. I just rolled my eyes and smiled at him. He was such a dork.

“Oh, that reminds me-” I got off the couch and walked back to my room. I then grabbed Lou's Toms. I had given everything back but these shoes because I quite liked them- even if I did have to wash them four times just for them not to stink.

I went back out to the living room but stopped when I noticed there was an empty seat on couch. “Where’s Zayn?”

“Oh, he went out to the car to get something,” Liam replied. I dropped Lou’s Toms and ran outside. I knew what he was doing and it certainly wasn’t getting something out of his car.

He wasn’t in the front yard so I sprinted behind the house. Here, I saw Zayn with a lighter in his hand just about ready to smoke. I just stood there and stared in disbelief.

Just as he about lit it, he turned a little bit and jumped. He then dropped his non-lit cigarette and just stood there as well, staring right back at me.

“Zayn,” I said slowly. His face then contorted into one of sorrow and depression.

We walked up to each other and met in the middle. He then let his head fall down on my shoulder and just bawled. I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back, trying to comfort him as much as I could.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“Don’t say that. Zayn, where’s the guy who told me that I could do anything if I put my all into it? Where’s the guy who wouldn’t let me just give up on something because it was too hard?”

“I don’t know,” he cried. “You hate me don’t you?”

“No! Zayn, how could you even think that?”

“I deserve to be hated. I’m letting everybody down: my family, friends, fans, myself.”

“Zayn, honey, this isn’t something that you’re just going to get over in a couple months. It’s going to take a long time, I’m not going to lie, but you don’t deserve to be hated and don’t ever think for a minute that you need to be.”

“You’re disappointed aren’t you?”

“A little.”

He then started to cry even harder than he was before. “I’m so sorry, Rian,”  he repeated over and over again.

“Zayn, listen to me. I am so proud of you for giving this up. I’ve heard that not a lot of people can do this. I know people that give up after the first week, but you didn’t. I believe in you and I know you can get over this.”

“You really think so?” he asked through tears.

“I know so.”

“Ri, I need help. Serious help.”

“I’ll help you in any way. Maybe there’s a group for smokers like Alcoholics Anonymous where you can just vent about your feelings to people who actually understand what you’re going through. You know I’m always here for you, but I can’t relate to your situation.”

“Whatever it takes Rian, I’ll do it,” he told me. “I will be one hundred percent dedicated to it. I’m so tired of upsetting my fans. I remember one time a fan gave me a book called ‘Why Smoking is Bad for you.’ I just cried and hugged her and told her how sorry I was. People look up to me and I don’t want them to think that smoking is okay because I do it. It was the worst mistake I ever made in my life.”

At this I started to tear up as well. I knew how important this all was for him. I knew how passionate he was at singing and how if he lost that he practically lost his whole life. I also knew that besides friends and family, his fans were the most important thing to him. He thought of them as his second family. If he lost them it would be like losing a sibling.

“Zayn, I’m going to get you help. I’ll find someplace today where you can go for meetings and we will get you over this, all right?”

“That sounds like a fantastic idea.”

“I love you,” I told him.

“I love you more.”

I gave a tiny smile, remembering how when Zayn and I were little that we used to fight about who loved each other more. It usually ended up in a wrestling match that I always won, but this time, I let him win this. He deserved it.

“Let’s go back inside,” he suggested, heading back towards the front door with me standing closely beside him. He still had to get changed and ready for his interview.

We both walked in at the same time and he rushed back to his room to get ready.

“What were you two doing out there?” Louis asked.

“Nothing,” I said softly. I wasn’t going to tell them about this. Zayn could tell them if he wanted to cause quite frankly it wasn’t any of my business.

Fallyn was sitting against the couch with her laptop on her legs. Every now and then she would let out a laugh or give a weird stare. I was super curious by now so I went over and sat by her.

“What are you doing?”

“I’ll show you when they leave,” she replied, hiding the screen away from me.

“Bah!” I exclaimed, leaning over on her. Fallyn was going to kill me with all of this suspense. I knew if Fallyn was laughing though it had to be funny.

Zayn finally came bounding down the hallway looking ten times better than he had outside. Sometimes all he needed was to know that someone was there for him. He would always find that comfort in me and I would never give him anything less. Zayn was my best friend, my brother, and I was so proud of him. And that was something that would never, ever change.

PROJECT NIALL HORAN!!

As you all know, Niall Horan just about hates everything about himself. Petty, rude, obnoxious people always remind him of the things he does wrong and the quirks he has. I would like you all to please comment and tell me your favorite thing about Niall. I do not care what it is but I would like a variety of things and I will write it down with your name beside it. I plan to send it to his fan mail in hopes that he reads this and realizes how truly amazing he is. Thank you all for your cooperation!!