Luna sat nervously outside the operating room. It was bright. The fluorescent lamps on the ceiling had been brightning up the hallway, thus, she digged in to the illusion that it's still bright outside: it's not yet midnight, or afternoon. It's still the time of noon, and the sun is still at its peak - or at least she believes so.

    She doesn't know how much time had passed: had it been three hours? Four? Or has it been a day already? But quite frankly, she didn't give a damn about the time: her mind was travelling somewhere else.

    She pondered on two questions that kept on bugging her mind. The first question was, what if he dies?

     If he dies, his heart would no longer beat for her; it wouldn't beat at all. It would stay inside his body, waiting for the worms to eat it up, and to decay it, together with his whole body. His small and chinky eyes wouldn't see her beauty anymore; it wouldn't see anything at all. His eyes would be closed, and it too will decay. His once rosy and full cheeks would turn pale, until it reaches the point that it would harden up; she could no longer pinch his cheeks, for it too would decay. Everything he has would decay: his vital organs, his simple yet striking beautiful features, and his body itself. The only thing that would not decay is his voice . . . but his voice too, would be gone. She would no longer hear him nagging her to smile.  He would no longer sing to her. There would no longer be music to her ears. His voice - regardless of what he says - provide art and music in her life.

    These thoughts made her shiver in fear: just the thought of Onew's body, lying lifelessly, buried underground makes her want to scream. If it was possible, she would never want Onew to experience death . . . because she believes with her whole heart that death is scary, despite the fact that she had never experienced it.

    But then again, she is Luna Park - a pessimist by nature. In her perspective, everything is scary.

    So, she shrugged of the negative thoughts that entered her mind, and pondered on the second question she had asked herself: what if Onew lives on?

    If Onew lives on, he would still have a heart pumping blood through his veins . . . a heart which beats only for her. His heart would still beat for her! But she wouldn't accept his love. She is selfish, and would never accept a man's love for her, despite her desire to be loved. She would marry not because of emotions and love, but because of wealth and power. His small and chinky eyes would still be able to see all the beauty the world has to offer. He would be able to see everything but her, for she would push him away. She would lie to him, and tell him she doesn't love him. She would command Onew to leave her, and not to love her anymore. And the latter one would do everything she says, for his heart would dictate his mind. His cheeks would remain to be rosy and soft enough to pinch . . . but she would not do that anymore. She would feel a certain fear in her heart that she might fall deeper for him. 

   Lastly, his voice . . . she would still be able to hear it, loud and clear. He would still nag her to smile, and she would ignore him. She wouldn't smile, because she knows that if she does, it would only mean defeat. It would only mean that she let her emotions get the best of her. He would still sing for her, but she would pretend to be deaf. She would lose her life's music, simply because of her father's command: "Do not fall in love with anyone, and marry the man I would choose for you"

    Desperately, she sobbed silently to herself.

    Whatever happens - whether Onew would live or not - he would never be hers.

    This fact caused her brain and her heart to ache terribly.

    "Hello, noona." A cheerful voice interrupted her from the thoughts that had colonized her mind for quite a while. As she looked up, she saw a young man with auburn hair. His eyes were round and big - spoke of nothing else but despair and sadness. But this sadness, he hides with his wide grin.

    This grin deeply amazed Luna. How could he smile, after all that happened? But then again, this young man was Onew's younger brother - Taemin. It would be no wonder that this young man still has the ability to smile - even if his wide grin is nothing but mere sadness hidden.

    Smile, even if it's a sad smile. Because sadder than a sad smile, is the sadness of not knowing how to smile.

    Maybe, Onew told the same thing to his younger brother.

    "Noona, don't cry. There's no reason to cry - hyung would surely wake up." He patted her shoulder, as he cheerfully attempted to stop her from crying. He tried to convince her that Onew would live on - despite the fact that he himself isn't sure of his brother's fate.

    "Of course, he would wake up." She agreed, patting the younger man's head. He sat with her, still wearing his smile. They sat in silence for a while, until Luna finally spoke up, "I don't know how the two of you do it." She started, as she stared directly at the fluorescent lamp, allowing it to partially blind her eyes - it hurts, but somehow, it feels good, "I don't know how you could smile, despite all the problems."

   "Neither do I, noona." Taemin said, as he wondered why Luna was staring at the fluorescent lamps. "I just smile, and everything seems to be fine."

   "And oh, noona. Happy Birthday." He greeted her, as he handed her a boquet of flowers and a card. "Hyung was on his way to the factory when the accident occured. He wanted to give you this."

    Stunned, Luna asked him, "How did you get all the gifts he was supposed to give me?"

    But when Taemin was about to speak up, Luna's phone interrupted their conversation. She reluctantly held her phone, as she knows already who gave her a call. It was her father, and she knows exactly why he called.

    "Won't you answer your phone, noona?"

    She forced a smile, knowing that after answering the call, she would no longer have the ability to smile. "Of course, I will."

    She pressed the answer button, with her hand literally shaking with fear. "Hello? Appa. Yes. Of course I remember that meeting - it's very important. I'm sorry for being late. There were some problems with the factory that I had to fix." She tried to sound as calm and reserved as possible, so that Taemin wouldn't worry. Their phone call ended with Luna's father, literally shouting at her.

   She closed her phone, and faced Taemin, "Taemin-ah, I have to go to somewhere very important. If Onew wakes up, tell him that I visited him. And that I want him to take good care of himself." And that I love him, she wanted to add.

   Taemin nodded his head understandingly, "It's already nine o'clock in the evening now. I'm pretty sure you have been here for quite a while now. I know you have a lot of things to fix and to arrange . . . so please go. I'll update you about hyung's condition." He smiled, "but please, take hyung's gifts for you."

   "Sorry, Taemin. But I can't take them with me." I might change my mind.

   "Oh . . . I see. Oh well, goodbye noona." He smiled through his words, though his eyes spoke of disappointment. And this deeply pierced Luna's heart - seeing bubbly Taemin be disappointed.

   She waved her hands to Taemin, then she made a phone call to her driver.

   Once again, she made a terribly weird wish to herself: she wished that she would get into a car accident, and die. If she would die in an instant, she wouldn't be able to go to her important meeting - the meeting between her and her future husband. If she would die, she would no longer experience this piercing pain inside her heart.

~ ~

But again, her wish didn't come true. She arrived safely at Seoul Hotel, where she was welcomed by her father whose cheeks had turned crimson red due to anger.

   "Why were you late?" His tone was calm yet filled with anger.

   "I told you already: there were some problems in the factory." Hers was filled with fear and nervousness.

   Her small-framed face was met with a slap when she said her explanation. "Your driver told me you went to the hospital, and that you were barely at the factory this day." He hissed, "Liar."

    "I'm sorry, father."

    "What were you doing at the hospital?"

    "I visited my friend - he got into an accident."

    "Is it your best friend, Lee Jinki?"

    She nervously looked up to her father, "Yes." She silently muttered. She was expecting another slap to meet her face; but there was nothing. No slap, no yelling, no nothing.

   "I told you not to get closer to that man, didn't I? I know you love him. And remember, love could ruin one's life." His father calmly said, with no anger traced on his face. "I only want the best for you. And love, my daughter, is certainly not good for you."

   "How do you know that, when you yourself don't even know how to love?"

   His father cleared his throat, and changed the topic, "Lee Donghae, my business partner's son is waiting for you."

   She nodded her head, as she walked towards her father's direction.

    She would now meet him - the man who would changer her life. There would be a new life ahead . . . and she must forget about the past. She must forget about Onew.

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Hello there guys! Long time no update.

Hm.. I would edit this fic (again)

This time, Onew and Luna are NOT the only main characters.

And also, this wouldn't be much of a romance fic, but rather, something a bit angsty and dramatic. Romance would be just a sub genre.

Comments - whether long or short - make me happy. :D

-LeiHae