Chapter 18

A Perfect Kim Junsu—Strong and Undefeatable

"Mr. Kim?" A knock on the door pounded through Junsu's ears making his vision quickly dart to the opening door.

"What is it?" he said in an annoyed voice. Finally that Jaejoong has left; he had silence and solitude to himself. Now, his damn secretary just had to call his name.

"M-Mr. K-K-Kim!" she managed to blurt out loud—too piercing for his ear’s likening.

Her way of talking just irritated his nerves some more.

"Stop stuttering!" he commanded her as he furrowed his brows. "I don't hurt anyone unless they get in my case. So if you don't want yourself to get yelled at then stop stuttering."

"I-I apologize," she breathed out.

“Much better,” he complimented.

"I’m h-here to inform y-you that your father called, an-and says to meet him at his office right away."

His father?

"What?" Junsu hissed. He automatically stood up from his chair walking towards her, urgently. The girl froze in her spot— couldn't move at all. "Does he know about all of this?"

"Y-yes sir!" she closed her eyes, frightened.

"More trouble," he said. "Just the man I needed to see. And why didn’t you reject?"

“He says it’s urgent and important,” the frightened secretary just whimpered out feeling smaller than what she already is to him.

Confused with her reactions, Junsu patted her shoulder and headed out the door ready to face his own demon. He wasn’t that scary was he?

"Good afternoon Mr. Kim!" an employee greeted him as he walked down the hallway. Not even a second passed and he was already seen by all of the people in the hallway. More followed after that. "How are you today Mr. Kim?" Another greeting was added. “You’re looking great as usual Mr. Kim!”

He never bothered answering any of these questions or take these comments into heart, but to make them feel a bit special, he just nodded to acknowledge their presence.

"What ups these people are..." he mumbled under his breath. Every day he’d hear all these types of flattery things and the more he heard them, the more his insides frowned. "All of them are just after position or money.” He rolled his eyes discreetly at the futile thought.

Turning corners, and taking the right elevators, it took skill especially with a huge enterprise like this. It's a maze that will make you cry once you get lost. And he, spoke from experience.
There were no thoughts in particular in his mind right now except for the upcoming confrontation with his father. He knew it will be disastrous. The matters that might come up wouldn't be something he could appreciate for the rest of his life. He just knew a lot of things will pop up in their conversation since they haven't had a chat for more than 30 seconds in this year.

To him, his father is his demon that haunted his shadows. Whatever he’d do, he’ll just get thrown and thrown away. But he needs to face this from time to time and he should just ready himself for the attacks—to pretend that he’s okay. And so taking a big breath in, stopping in front of the only office door at the highest floor of the building, he knocked at the gates of his hell.

"Come in," an instant reply was heard.

He cringed in an instant. That voice—it made him stiff down to his feet.

"It's Kim Junsu," he said as he opened the door, walking towards the sitting figure behind the desk. Breathing and waiting. That was all he could do in the silence that covered his surroundings.

"Do you have anything to say before I speak?" the old man got to the point immediately. "I'm sure you know how dreadful this recent predicament is at the moment."

"I apologize on behalf of Jaejoong and myself," he bowed respectfully. "We are currently—"

"Apologize?" his father scoffed out loud, cutting him off. "Didn't I tell you that those words are unacceptable to be said in words? Once you apologize, do you think the company will return to its original state? Do you think anything will change after you apologize?”

“No, sir.”

“As my son, do not humiliate me with those futile expressions."

"Jaejoong and I, along with his assistant are tracking down the hacker immediately to solve the problem," Junsu hastily replied with great control.

"These are careless mistakes that should never have happened. You’re being careless," the old man scrutinized his work. "Or are you distracted?" the man continued on. "Or is there wrong with Jaejoong? Because ever since he got here, this whole catastrophe started to occur.”

“Jaejoong is a capable man,” Junsu defended his hard working friend. “It is not his or anyone’s fault.”

“Then the problem must lie with you,” the old man sitting in anger paused, “Should I take some of your freedom away? I’ve been pretty lenient with you but if the results of this studying are complete failures for me and this company, you know what’s going to happen right?”

“It has nothing to do with my studies!” Junsu protested. He definitely knew what his father’s ultimate decision was going to be.

“Since when have you been so defensive over a small matter?” his father asked. “As I see it from this point of view, it has everything to do with what you are doing. So if you don’t want to disappoint me, then I’d like for you to quit." A finger was pointed at him. "If you want further studies, I’ll hire professors for you instead."

"No!" Junsu was shocked at the sudden order. He was prepared for everything except for this. "Give me a week father. I haven’t even adjusted to the school yet." Junsu bowed again to plead. If he leaves now, there would be no connection with him and Yoochun anymore. "If I have to put my life on the line...No! Even if I die, I will make sure this company doesn't collapse on you. I can't have it crashing down before your eyes with my foolish mistakes." He needed to prove to his father that he can make this work so maybe at least, the decision will be called off.

"No," the commanding man refused to bend to his pleading. "Tomorrow will be your last day. It has tarnished your mind enough for the past week. I can't let it keep on doing that any longer.”

“It has never ruined my working habits,” Junsu said in disbelief. “Nothing changed!”

“Your action towards everything has changed…” his father paused furrowing his eyebrows. “ It even led you to buying a e for a hundred million dollars!” Taking a breath, he calmly stood up from his chair and walked in front of the desk facing Junsu. “What has gotten into your head?"

"My decisions are my own," Junsu simply replied. "I deserve at least privacy to my own life."

"Have you gone soft hearted? Or have you just lost your mind?"

"No sir." He could only look at the ground. His father's eyes are his phobia.

"Park Yoochun, right? That e's name," his father bitterly said. "Since we're on this topic already, I've already looked into everything about this man.” He stopped talking as he threw the folder containing Yoochun’s information, background and everything else. “And my order is to cut all ties with him immediately."

Junsu's head shot up in an instant as soon as he heard these words. His father never said anything about his decisions before, especially his possessions that he bought. Why care now?

"What?" he breathed out in shock. “Why are you suddenly restricting everything I’m doing?”

"I'm sure you heard me. My orders are absolute," his relentless father said in a firm voice. "I’ve always done whatever I want with you and made decisions that are best. This time, I want you to cut off all ties with that man. Leave him out of the streets, rent out an apartment for him, sell him-- I don't care. I don't want you within a kilometer range from that penniless man. I don’t want him to have anything to do with you. His presence wrecks everything!”

"But why?" Junsu freaked out. He didn't expect this blow at all.

"He has no value and has no benefit to us whatsoever."

"But these are all too abrupt," Junsu's voice shook as he spoke. "Give me time!"

"How long does it take for you to throw out a worthless e?" his father hissed at him in anger. "Don't be attached to men like those. I’m sure I taught you better than that."

"He is not a worthless e!" he fought back. It shocked himself too. In all these years that he has lived, he would have never imagined for him to be talking back like this. "Since when have you cared about anything that has been involved around me?"

"I have never cared about you," the man mercilessly said out loud as he tapped the desk with his index finger emphasizing his words. "I have over one billion people that depend on me—that I have responsibilities for and so I only raised you like this for the benefit of our company. For the sake of myself and not you."

"Are you even my father?" Junsu whispered in disbelief. "Do you have no concern at all?”

"I'm human, but you see, God didn’t make us to have the same qualities— there are varieties. And I'm the dire type. For my own happiness, I have sacrificed yours without permission."

"I hope you see me as a man who's trying to be perfect just like you. I work hard to be the best but I have yet to see you so proud of me. Just like what you told me the first time I opened my eyes after tha accident. I will live for you..." he paused as he thought how pointless this life he lived was. "But however, what bugs me the most is that I can't remember anything and you're not willing to tell me a word!"

"And this is why I want Park Yoochun off of that house," his father further explained his rash decisions. "He will only cause you only more pain. And make you a disobedient man. I always think of what is the most benefitting decision for you. And this is it."

"I know him don't I? I feel like I somewhat know him. And if not, I question, why do you want him off my life so badly?" Junsu demanded for an answer. His father knew something that he definitely didn't. "We met before didn't we?"

"I'm sure you know that I don't respond to questions like those."

"Just give me this one answer!” Junsu pleaded. If it's something about a forgotten Yoochun memory, he needed to know. "Give me a hint! I know my sister died right beside me. I see her face in my dreams every night. That bloodied and desperate face! It scares me to the point where I can't even breathe!"

“Whatever you feel now, I’ve felt a million times worse,” his father replied, his voice sounding like a volcano about to erupt at anytime. “Don’t even tell me things about pain.”

“But I'm starting to gain memories back. Things are triggering them to come at me little by little. I know before I never bothered about them. I didn't even want to remember. But a lot of things have happened for the past few days and I realized that I needed to remember what took place so at least I can move on. I want to know how I was like when I was a kid. How I behaved. Was I a bad kid? I want to know so that even I don't find myself as a living stranger."

"You've regained some memories?" his father shook his head in disbelief. "Is this the reason for your outburst behaviors? I knew I should have checked on you earlier.” He sighed. “I’ve used this situation to my advantage but you gaining your memories back, I can’t let you. Your situation, your weakness…I can control it by keeping your memories out of sight.”

“But you can’t do that! I won’t leave the company when I find out about everything. I’ll stay as long as you tell me what happened. Give me newspaper articles, journals or even pictures. Maybe it will come back.”

“They are all but useless memories. As much as you plead, you won’t get anything.”

“I know you threatened the whole city about this taboo news,” Junsu stated. “I’m sure of it. Even the doctors who treated me after the accident—they all said it was medically dangerous for me to remember everything but I’m no fool! Memories cannot hurt me!”

“Kim Junsu,” his father spoke in a commanding tone. “Stop being emotional. If you can’t remember anything—if you can’t even remember it, then don’t you think they’re pointless memories?”

“No they are not,” Junsu clenched his fists. His father never cared for what he really wanted and it frustrated him. “It was not my choice for me to forget them.”

“You have changed Kim Junsu. Did you notice it? You've become emotionally passionate,” his father questioned his actions. “And it's most likely because of that e in the house. He’s making you act this way. I’m definitely right. Since when did you have your own head to think for yourself?”

“I’ve always had one to myself,” Junsu responded. “I just respect you, and that is why I follow.”

There was silence— an agitating silence that made Junsu's body shake in anger. He wanted to yell out in frustration.

“Then obey what I have said.”

“As much as I hate to disappoint you, I don’t plan on backing down on my answer.”

"But everything is coming into pieces for you isn’t it?" his father added on and then paused, "Then tell you what. I’ll make a deal with you.”

“No.” He definitely couldn’t back down.

His father scoffed and looked away from Junsu’s eyes that never stared at them. He walked back to his seat, sitting on it. Then, he spoke with voice as confident as the sea. “Even if it’s information about how you’re connected to Yoochun?”

Junsu’s head snapped up in anger. “Stop playing with me!”

“I’m not playing. We are making a deal. I get what I want and you get what you want. Nothing in the world is free. You out of everyone should know that best.”

Junsu gritted his teeth in annoyance. Both are ways and answers he wanted as equally bad. He furrowed his eyebrows as he finally made his decision.

“So?” His father taunted him. “Time you’re wasting is precious.”

“Fine,” Junsu sighed. “Tell me what I have to do.”

"Good," his father answered. "My demands are still the same. The first condition is still standing. That is—leave the school."

Junsu closed his eyes in anger and just breathed. His life span definitely shortened by a lot today. By attending this school, he planned to accomplish many things. Find a new life, normality and even trusting friends.

So much for wanting to do as he pleased all the time. So much for wanting to become normal. And so much for wanting freedom. His dreams that all he ever wanted to accomplish were all crushed at the same time once again, by his own father who never even gave a damn about him.

"And lastly,” his father continued to state his conditions, “Park Yoochun’s face will not be seen in the house any longer. If you want time, I'll give it to you. And so, right after the party, two days from now, the morning after that, I don't ever want to see his presence in my home ever again! He could attend of course but that is only if he wants to." He smirked. “I’m sure he knows his place.”

His home? Junsu scoffed in disbelief. If where he lived was his father’s house, then how come he never stepped into it except for the yearly parties they had? It wasn't like anything he did there would be too bothersome at all.

Another deathly silence kicked in. For the first time in his life, he was torn between two things.

If he accepted, what would he do with Yoochun? If he quit studying, how would he meet Yoochun or even protect him like he wanted to? How could he be together with him or even have a connection with him? The school is what connected their lives. Of course, they haven’t spent that much time with each other. But to him, it felt like being with Yoochun would really work out! It was worth to risk a whole lot of things for this relationship.

"What will it be, son?" The word son was emphasized to mock him. "But I'm pretty sure that you'd rather leave now. These hints will be of no use to you."

"I'll take what I can get," Junsu confidently spoke out loud. He'll deal with everything as they come. He'll take care of Yoochun and at the same time, gain his memories back from the dead. "So tell me. How is Park Yoochun connected to me?"

"Then I'll be blunt so that you don't waste my time," his father replied. "Park Yoochun's family..." he paused, "is the cause of your sister's car crash incident with you when you were ten.”

"What?” he silently said out loud. “What are you trying to say?" Too many questions were formed in his head as soon as he heard this statement. He said them out loud but all failed to reach his father’s ears. The old man was in anger just thinking about it.

"If God could choose which one of you siblings He could take. If that night He gave me the choice of which one of you I could save," he continued to speak, "I wish it was you that He took away. Your sister was the best gift I've ever received. She was my joy! And because of that worthless family that took up some space in the world, your sister died!"

"What are you implying?"unsu demanded answers as he yelled out his questions.

"I'm glad those fools have suffered," the old man added on as he cursed them as he gripped his hand tightly. "If I saw them now, I’ll sue them till they have died—till they can’t resurface for air."

That wasn’t Junsu’s question. He was hoping for something along a personal connecting with Yoochun. His hands were definitely something he could remember well—that somehow both of them were tied by…the past?

"That is not my question! What does he have to do anything with me?" Junsu looked for the answers to his problems but he couldn't find them in between those words. Every time he touched Yoochun's hands, there was that familiarity. He knew he felt them before. He knew he had met him before. If his father only answered his simple questions, he’d figure everything out in an instant.

"I will hate him till the last second of my life! Right to the point where I’d want to kill him every time I see his face," the man said ruthlessly. "I suggest you take him out of that house before I am tempted to do it myself."

"It has been so many years after that accident...Can't you forgive him?" Junsu smiled in disbelief. "It wasn't him that caused the accident! And I'm sure my sister would have wanted you to move on!"

"How do you know that Kim Junsu? You’re a person who can't even remember anything so you out of all the people here shouldn't be able to speak for themselves— to speak like that to me. This is why you are useless— asking me pointless questions. Your sister was more useful than you. That is why I cherished her more than you."

A kid rejected by his father for the hundredth time in one day. That was too much to handle, especially for someone like him.

It looks like he won't be getting anymore answers. Of course, he was in disbelief that Yoochun's family was the one that caused the accident. But how? Why? What exactly did happen? He was in grief but yet, he was too confused to even feel sadness. It felt like the more he found out about his life, the more questions piled up in his head. Agitated, in tears, and pain. They were all mixed up in his head until he wanted to collapse just to forget these feelings.

"Why can't you just tell me?" Junsu asked for the last time. "Just tell me what happened to me, what I was like...Why can't you just tell me? Who is Kim Junsu? Why can't you care for this man that is trying to do the best he could just so you could be happy for him?"

"Kim Junsu is the robot I have created. He's not even human and therefore should just be an emotionless vessel for me to control," his father answered.

“Even if I'm a robot I'm still your son!” Junsu retorted back.

“Ever since that accident, I haven't considered you as my own son. For the past years I loathed you and I want you to suffer for your crime that you have done to me and the daughter I cherished the most.”

“Then how much do you want me to suffer for you to forgive me?” Junsu pleaded. His father was his gate to hell and heaven. He had the answers for him to finally move on from a past he’d long forgotten.

“I'd really tell you son, but seeing as you're in agony everyday trying to remember, I changed my mind. I want to watch you suffer like hell in this life since the only reason why I raised you was to make you feel grief. I can't stand seeing the sight your face. That is the reason I don’t come home. If only you didn't want to go to the beach that day she would still be here! I also blame you for her death."

So he was the cause?

Junsu tried to hold his tongue from talking back. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to punch his father's face for being so cruel and unreasonable but he held it back and just dug his nails under his skin. After all, he just found out that his sister’s death was also his own fault.

He was partially responsible for all of this mess. And as much as he was traumatized by everything, he should just quietly turn around and walk away. He was a calm Kim Junsu. He’s a man that kept everything on the inside because he’s as strong as a diamond. There was no way that he can’t be broken.

"Do you have all you want now?" the uncaring voice pushed him aside every time he heard it.

"You never answered any of my questions. You have just added more problems in my head. And so the answer is no. But today, I will leave first…” he bowed with his eyes closed, “…with a promise to solve and keep to my words.”

"Then I’ll let you go for now. Fix this current problem you caused even if it costs you your life. That's the only way you can repay for your faults to me."

Junsu breathed in again for composure. His jaws shook and at the same time his hand as well. He spoke his last words to his father. "Then I'll definitely solve this problem. I'll put my life on the line just so that I can solve it as quickly as possible. Then I won’t disappoint you yet again."

"I'm glad," his father smiled and then commanded him to leave at once. He waved his hands up and down signaling that he wasn’t needed anymore. “Go home and fix your situation before you come back here. This company only has room for success and not failures like you at the moment.”

“Then wait for my return,” Junsu said through his gritting teeth. As he closed the door, he quickly took out his cell phone and called on his trusted friend.

**********************

"Kibum!" Jaejoong yelled out as he opened the door. He rushed to his own computer looking through all the security that filled his screen. "Fill me in. Anything happen?" He paid extra close attention to the words of this man as Junsu have commanded him. Even if it wasn't likely, there would still be a chance Kibum is the hole that they're looking for.

"Well..." the dark haired man said with a smile, "nothing happened yet. I've placed more locks and security codes and there hasn't been any sign of intrusion so far."

"Think this will do?" Jaejoong finally could sit on his chair filled with relief. It was still a little too early but at least they have managed to stop these hackers for a bit or they were taking a break.

"For now, I hope," Kibum answered directly. "Say...I don't want to take advantage of the situation but...Can we...?"

Jaejoong laughed. "Since they're given us room, why not? I'll treat you to coffee."

"But sir…" he protested. “Are we allowed? What if we get fired?”

"Junsu's in the building. We'll be fine," Jaejoong assured him. "I'll treat you to this bakery that opened not too long ago. They serve very good hot drinks and pastries."

Kibum smiled at him, flashing those pearly white teeth of his.

"Don't spread your hormones with that smile," Jaejoong added in as he rolled his eyes. "Let's go for your break this time."

*****************

The final beep of bells went off in the building. It was the end of that horrible day for both Yunho and Yoochun who got too much attention— not that they didn't get any every day.

"So Yoochun..." Yunho called out from accross the classroom as he grabbed his bag.
"You called for me?"

"Yeah actually," Yoochun said as he packed his books inside his small bag. "Do you think we can go get a bite to eat? Somewhere cheap but filling."

"My treat then."

"It's fine. I can pay for myself. I just got my pay," Yoochun declined the offer. "So do you have any place in mind?"

"Actually, yeah. Do you feel like pastries?"

"A bakery?"

"Yeah, they make one hell of a good cake. They just opened recently."

"Must be a good place. For you to praise such a shop doesn't happen too often.”

“Of course, living high class is the key!”

********************
There was no time to recover for him. He needed answers right away or else he just felt like dying right this moment.

Changmin paced in his apartment suite. He walked back and forth; stepped left then to the right as he thought and sorted his feelings in his head.

He was frantic. He loved Dongwook. He trusted him. He was willing to accept everything he had but this just had to happen. This information he couldn’t accept. This wasn’t true!

Dongwook should have known that he’s been working for the Kim Enterprises. Everything, he told him. But why has this situaton kept a secret from him? It made him doubt the man that he truly loved for the first and last time. His life could end really in an instant.

Flashback:

It was quickly shrugged off. "I need to think. Now, if you excuse me..."

"Then would you like to confront him?" Junsu offered up a way which caught attention.

"I'll think about it," he replied as he shut the door in a hurry. "Give me time. I can't pick up myself that fast like you."

End of Flashback

Confront him? Should he do it?

As much as he loved him, he shouldn’t do it. But maybe there should be certain exceptions…

Taking out his cell, he knew Dongwook wouldn’t pick up calls during the day and so a simple “We need to talk” message will do. It always worked.

He pressed the send button and waited for a reply.

Everything he felt was just too agitating—so irritating. He trusted the man with his whole beating heart that when Dongwook told him to take the risk of going through surgery, he agreed. Truthfully, he was scared of death. He always wanted to live a longer life—to do many things, and yet, his problems just had to come back and haunt him again. A thirty percent success rate was all he had and he was willing to go through that because Doongwook told him that he’ll make it. That he’ll always be with him. This way he was convinced.

But now, he just couldn’t help but think that all these words were just a bunch of lies. Maybe Dongwook just wanted him to die. What if that was his reason? He suggested it because he knew he wouldn’t make it. Was that it?

His cell phone buzzed.

A text message.

He smiled at the thought of a text message from Dongwook. It was a reflex. But this situation was definitely a no laughing matter. He quickly selected the unopened message.

Hey Min! Can’t talk right now but
I’ll meet you at the party tomorrow?
You work with the Kim’s right?
So definitely you’ll be invited.
My boss also gave me an invite as well.
I miss you.
See you soon.

Changmin sighed at what he read. Dongwook has never lied to him. It’s just that this time, he wasn’t telling anything. His boss was definitely, Choi Siwon. And, this boss, Dongwook never intended for him to know. Was he just being tricked?

***********************

“I hope you’re paying for me,” Kibum said as he walked into the café that Jaejoong had recommended.

“I told you I will. Thanks for the hard work. I wouldn’t have been able to pull through without you today,” Jaejoong sighed in relief. “So let us chill for half an hour then we’ll get back again.”

“Great. I can stuff myself with high-quality caffeine and jelly donuts,” the dark haired man sarcastically replied. “Since when have you taken a liking to sweets?”

“There are different kinds of sweets,” Jaejoong said as he looked for empty seats. He smirked at his luck as he saw Yunho and Yoochun sitting across each other at a four seat table. “And I see my favorite kind right now.”

With great confident strides, he walked towards two men he recognized.

“So that’s why you go here,” Kibum smiled in disbelief as he figured out his boss’ motives. Figuring this out, he decided to sit somewhere else.

“Hello,” Jaejoong grinned suavely at the two bodies sitting. “There aren’t any chairs open so do you if I sit here?” He purposely ignored Yunho and directed his question to Yoochun.

Yoochun gave a nod back. “You can sit here.”

“Oh thanks,” Jaejoong flashed that smiled of his. He called on Kibum. “Come here. This guy told us we can sit.”

Kibum just swayed his head side to side waiting for his own enjoyment out of this situation. “It’s alright, I’ll take a seat here.” He took the seat right on the counter where there was only one seat available.

“So…” Jaejoong looked to Yoochun. “Your name?”

“What are you playing at?” Yoochun asked him directly, confused. He knew this guy of course. Just by the voice he could tell. Even though the looks and everything changed, he was pretty observant when it comes down to identifying many people.

“I’m just playing around. I got some free time to kill,” Jaejoong said as he playfully looked at Yoochun. He figured out that the man completely knew his identity. So to keep on playing the game he started, he just dropped hints that Yunho wouldn’t be able to figure out. “I’m making my boyfriend jealous.”

Looking at the sight made Yunho cringe and to be truthful, a bit jealous. He saw this blond haired man already at the salon. He caught his eye of course and thought about seeing him again but not under these circumstances. If that guy was a girl, he’d totally take her home for marriage. But this guy was a man and was totally hitting on Yoochun! What did he mean by saying playing around while staring at his friend? Or ‘making my boyfriend jealous’. Oh, that line was definitely some sort of pick up line. That angel that he thought was a devil in disguise and was definitely hitting on Yoochun.

“Ahh… I see,” Yoochun placed together all the facts and took a sip of his latte. Of course, with just that attitude and even that smile from that man, he could recognize it was Jaejoong from far away. His hair was amazing of course, and on top of that, a sunglass to hide his eyes… It was a brilliant disguise but he could see through it. “Yoochun.” He replied calmly with an uninterested tone.

“Yoochun… that’s a nice name!” Jaejoong smiled some more, still ignoring the presence of Yunho at the table.

For some reason, Yunho wanted to join in on the conversation. He was hoping that this angel like man would ask for his name too. He wanted to talk.

“So what do you major in Yoochun?” Jaejoong asked simple questions.

“I’m in—“ Yoochun was about to answer but a sudden out burst from across the table cut him off.

“I’m pretty sure we let you sit here so that you can have a nice cup of coffee,” Yunho said in an irritated voice. “You shouldn’t interfere with people’s conversations.”

“Ah…I must apologize,” Jaejoong said as he dealt with the situation at hand. “Were you guys talking?”

“Yes,” Yunho replied but at the same time Yoochun replied with a “No.”

“Well, that says something,” the blond haired man insulted him. “Why are you getting all worked up?”

“…” Yunho’s eyes widened. Why did he get worked up? Was it because he just wanted the man to pay attention to him?

“Do you like him? Are you on a date with Yoochun?” Jaejoong asked with confidence striking out from his words.

“No,” Yunho quickly replied.

“Well then, you don’t really have to get worked up that much.”

“I’m saying that you’re bothering our time together,” Yunho replied weakly.

“Then how about this,” Jaejoong stood up from his seat and brought his face forward to Yunho’s own really fast until they could feel each other’s breath. “Do you like me?” he instantly asked.

With this, he gave the off guarded man a quick peck on his lips and in a flash, sat quietly back down.

Yunho’s face turned beet red in just a matter of seconds due to the question that made him flustered. The color just crept up from the side of his face and into the center of his cheeks.

“What the hell did you do? Why?” he freaked out.

“A kiss,” Jaejoong simply replied as he laughed, laying back on his chair. "Because your guard was down by a mile."

“But you had no permission to do that!” Yunho stood up from his chair ready to punch Jaejoong.

“You letting me that close to your face basically told me that you were letting me,” Jaejoong wittingly replied. “At least I know you don’t hate me.”

“Unblievable…” Yunho rolled his eyes in incredulity.

“It was just a kiss!” Jaejoong care freely laughed it out. “Are you a or something?”

Yunho’s answer took longer than expected to come out. He was caught off guard once again by this man and he didn’t like it at all. He didn’t like to be played around with.

“Well then, would you like to take your ual frustrations out on me?” Jaejoong offered still jovial.

After hearing what Jaejoong just said, there was a sudden jolt that came up south in Yunho’s pants. It tingled down in his crotch. Did he just get by those simple words? Now, he could only think about were dirty thoughts like actually having with some random guy that caught his eye. A man!

“I’d rather take it out on the toilet and so if you please,” Yunho kicked back his chair with a beet red face and headed to the washroom.

“Alright,” Jaejoong pretended to be hurt. “I was rejected and was chosen over by a toilet. But have fun anyways!” He said as he waved to Yunho.

“What was that for Jaejoong?” Kibum suddenly asked from the seat just near them. He definitely was not getting the situation. “I thought you were hitting on this none talkative guy beside you.”

“No, it's okay. Just continue eating.” Jaejoong answered as he waved his index finger left to right. “Just stay quiet and order whatever you want okay? I need to have some heart to heart chat.”

“Okay?” Kibum said as he raised his brow in confusion. “Suit yourself.” He turned around and focused on the menu.

“So Yoochun,” Jaejoong’s voice suddenly became serious. “How’s life been treating you so far?”

“With Kim Junsu right?” the blue eyed man stared at him as if reading others was his specialty. “I don’t get what he’s thinking so I’m confused and irritated.”

“But didn’t I tell you already from the start?”

“That he’s in love with me? Quit joking around!” Yoochun hissed at him. “I’m already confused enough as it is.”

“How are you confused? Maybe it’s only yourself that you’re not admitting to,” Jaejoong told him as he calmed the frazzled man down. “Are you confused by his straightforwardness?”

“It is too straightforward and at the same time nothing is going across,” Yoochun spoke as he emphasized his words. “Yesterday, he took me to the beach. He kissed me. Then the next day he completely ignores me. Is that love? I don't quite understand it.”

Jaejoong laughed out loud. “That is too straightforward.”

“Like I said…” Yoochun agreed as he drank his remaining latte from his cup.

“And like I said before, he is madly in love with you,” Jaejoong assured him. “But you need to work on the relationship too.”

“I don’t know if you know this already Jaejoong,” Yoochun trailed off. “I have a lover already. You know, Changmin? And I really like him.”

“You like him?” Jaejoong asked. “A lover isn’t about liking but loving. So the only question I have for you is that do you love him?”

“I do lo—“ Yoochun was surprised. The word love—it didn’t come out of his lips. He did love Changmin. He should love him. Thinking that it was just a hiccup, he tried to say it again. “I lo—“

“Have you even told him you love him? Did he tell you he loves you?” Jaejoong continued to interrogate the man some more. “You can’t even say you love him.”

He was pretty sure the word love was always replaced with like. And before going here, he did ask Changmin if he loves him. The man did say yes but he words I love you never came out of his mouth.

“I know but the reason why it’s like this is because I just want to selfishly keep him to myself. He said he wants to protect me and take care of me so he won’t let go. And for that reason, I just cling. I think I’ve gotten used to his presence now too. He never really told me he loved me but he told me I was special in his heart.”

Jaejoong laughed. He knew Changmin already had someone else. “Wait, so let me get this straight. He said you were special..." he paused in surprise. "Well, you are special. I think you're special. I'm also willing to protect and take care of you. So...is it okay to be your boyfriend?"

"What?" Yoochun raised his brow.

"Exactly," Jaejoong in. "The missing word is love. Do you love Changmin?"

"Love?" Yoochun sighed. "Love...I don't know what it feels like to fall in love. But Changmin is someone I don't want to let go of."

"How about Kim Junsu?”

“Well...not only Kim Junsu…” Yoochun confessed still keeping his calm straight face. He felt like Jaejoong was part of this huge mess since he is friends with both the Junsu’s. “Xiah Junsu is bugging my mind every day.”

Jaejoong laughed at the thought. A guy would definitely be confused with this situation. So clueless. He watched as Yoochun’s fingers carefully played around with his cup. “I found out about that one too. He kissed you and confessed didn’t he?”

“How did you know?” Yoochun quickly stared at him in the eye surprised by his knowledge of his situation.

“We are friends you know? That new student Changmin brought him to me during work today so I also know what happened and how irritated you are as well today. Trust me, that will pay.”

“It looks like you know the situation well enough,” Yoochun sighed. “So maybe you should take it as a sign to stop bringing these things up.”

“You’re just trying to run away. But the question is still there unanswered. What is making you so confused? Your indecisiveness is going to make you lose all the people you care about. If you love all of them then you don’t deserve any one of them,” Jaejoon disappointingly aid. “But I’m sure you know what you want. You just have to realize and accept it.”

“That is—I don’t know…” Yoochun said deep in thought. “There are so many things to consider.”

“But do you even know what you feel?”

“No.”

“Then let’s switch the question,” Jaejoong paused as he examined Yoochun’s puzzled face. “What do you know?”

“That I can't be with Kim Junsu because he's the selfish and arrogant man that can casually take life,” Yoochun replied with hate in his voice. There was silence after those spoken words and Jaejoong just lost all hope with that line. “But that’s what I used to think,” the man continued. “I thought that this Kim Junsu was like every other business men out there like my father. But when I think about what happened to me in these past few weeks, I feel like he has helped me out in ways more than one. I feel drawn.”

“Whatever hate you feel with that man…” Jaejoong tried to explain as best as he could without stepping on Yoochun’s land mines, “I think that you should throw it all away. He has good reasons for being like what he is now. He used to be such a lovable man but a lot of things happened that got out of control. Most likely worse than the path you traveled.”

“So you know me don’t you Kim Jaejoong?” Yoochun questioned.

“Only through files. I’ve investigated your past just to see if you can live with Kim Junsu safely. It was just for safety reasons,” Jaejoong clarified. “I do know of your past.”

“Then you must know about…”

“Yes, yes. I know. But that is no reason for you to hate men like Kim Junsu. All of us are different. Unique, just like the clothes or shoes that you wear. There is a good style and a bad style. And just like people, there are good ones and there are bad ones. Just to speak from my own point of view, Kim Junsu is one of the good yet fragile ones that really do want to protect you. And I do support his decisions. You guys are more connected that you think.”

“You know something.”

“Yes I do.”

“You know about his sister?,” Yoochun gently demanded an answer.

"How do you know about his sister?” Jaejoong asked in curiosity.

"Well yeah, she was on the news a lot," Yoochun covered his mistake up quickly.

"Yeah, when your house exploded the car Junsu and his sister were in simultaneously crashed. We don't really know the details though. And I'm sure you don't either."

"Yeah..." Yoochun a bit nervous drank from his glass of water. He knew what really happened. He was the cause of that crash and it was one of the few reasons why he couldn't be with Kim Junsu. Not only did he despise the man, he was also the cause of his sister's death."

“The past of Kim Junsu is the Pandora’s box for me and everyone else who knows. Maybe if you open up a bit, this Pandora’s box will open.”

“Pandora’s box huh?” Yoochun smiled. “Then maybe it should not be opened.”

“Aren’t you curious though? But I guess it is your decision,” Jaejoong casually replied. “Don’t let your eyes and your head deceive what you see. Sometimes you have to go with your heart and mostly your gut.”

“You only regret things that way,” Yoochun said as his tone saddened.

“Have you tried yet? Because my life is currently on a roll by doing this.” Jaejoong laughed.

Then Yoochun gave him a smile. “Then thanks for a great advice.”

“It’s nice to have a talk like this once in a while don’t you think? Man to man?” Jaejoong smirked making Yoochun’s head shake from left to right in doubt.

“How’s Junsu by the way?”

“He’s putting up a goof front,” Jaejoong informed him. “He had a meltdown but I think he’s all good for now—kind of just like you.”

“He does remind me of myself just a little bit. There are those days when I just feel like a volcano ready to erupt.”

“But isn’t it better when you have someone there with you? Just simple words of comfort are enough to calm that feeling down. You’re looking for that feeling aren’t you? Something to calm you down. Something you can use for warmth and to receive trust?”

“You know me so well.”

“But I think—“ Jaejoong spoke but was interrupted by a smack on the table.

“Yoochun? Can we leave now? I think you let this guy flirt with you long enough,” the brown haired man complained.

“Hey you!” Jaejoong greeted Yunho seemingly full of obliviousness. “Did you have fun in the washroom as you thought of me?”

“You—“

“Yes, yes. I understand. I’ll take my leave,” Jaejoong said as he stood up walking towards the flustered man. “I know I’m a bit straightforward but at least I know what I want.”

“Well, it should be fine now that you‘re taking your leave,” Yunho replied, annoyed by the other man’s presence.

“You really do need to work on your attitude. But lend me you ear for a bit,” Jaejoong evilly smiled. “I have to tell you something. Then after that, I’ll leave for sure.”

“Can’t you just leave?” Yunho furrowed his eyebrows.

“Your ear,” he demanded

“Whatever,” Yunho said as he rolled his eyes. Carefully, he placed his ear next to Jaejoong’s lips.

Amusement was clearly shown on the blond haired man’s face. He began to whisper words to Yunho’s right ear.

“Do you know how able you are to me? With your defenses low, you're just screaming out to me,” Jaejoong breathed out as air clung to Yunho’s ears. He continued to as he gave Yunho’s earlobe a bit of nip before walking away. “This is my phone number,” the blond haired man said as he slipped a tissue with numbers on it in his jean pocket. “Feel free to call me up to play when you’re bored.”

Jaejoong took quick long strides to exit as he waved like a child at the door. “Bye Yunho. Bye Yoochun!”

“Thanks for the talk,” Yoochun mouthed from his position as he waved goodbye watching Jaejoong take his quick leave before Yunho threw a tantrum.

When the man was nowhere in sight, Yunho just fell on his chair, weak. He was definitely speechless. His eyes were too wide in shock. His knees become too jelly from the over powering presence. What an overbearing aura to handle.

“He wasn’t hitting on me,” Yoochun informed him out of the blue. “He was hitting on you.”

“I kind of figured that much out already…” Yunho said as he quietly sat down on his chair. “How could he embarrass me like this?”

“You’re kind of slow in this so I’ll just leave you hanging with everything,” Yoochun sighed. “Even I figured it out.”

“No one makes fun of Jung Yunho like that!” Yunho said as he pulled out that tissue with numbers. “I’m not some easy man you can just play around with. Wait and see. I’m a man too.”

“I see you forgot about Jaejoong,” Yoochun mumbled out loud as he looked out the window. “Good luck with this revenge thing you are plotting.”

“I haven’t forgotten about Jaejoong. That guy just makes me annoyed down to the core! Treating me like every day…! I’m going to show them how men deal with things.”

“Good luck,” Yoochun smiled as he perfectly knew what Yunho will get himself into.

********************

Jaejoong’s phone rang as he walked to his car with Kibum quickly running from behind him.

“Junsu. What's up?” he said.

There was no response. The line was filled with silence.

"Junsu...?" Jaejoong questioned. “Don’t tell me... that man!”

“Not that,” the man said from the other line, the voice sounding off.

“It is isn't it?” Jaejoong asked sensing this sound.

“I was told to go home to fix some things up,” Junsu’s voice wavered and was a little bit strained.

Something happened and Jaejoong definitely knew the cause.

“Damn that father of yours…Don’t move,” Jaejoong sighed. “Stay there, go in my office. I’ll quickly fetch you.”

“No. Mind your own damn business and go back to work,” Junsu commanded him trying to pull himself together. “I can take care of myself.”

“No Junsu! You’re definitely not fine! If you’re not in my office by the time I get there I’m going to your house,” Jaejoong told him, disobeying his orders. “What did he tell you to do this time?”

“Nothing important,” Junsu replied trying to keep his cool. “Just go back to work. The faster you fix this, the faster we can move on again.”

“Then why did you call me?” Jaejoong asked him. “What was the point of this call Junsu? I’m sure you wanted me to do something.”

“I just wanted to tell you…” Junsu began to talk. ‘To come and save me.’ “That I’m going home so work hard!” he said instead.

“What did the old man tell you Junsu?” Jaejoong continued to ask. “Why did you even go there in the first place?”

Junsu laughed awkwardly at the other line. “You know. Just things that you know and things that I don’t know—useless things…” he began to drift off, “like me.”

“Junsu!” Jaejoong tried to scold him.

“Don’t worry,” Junsu tried to assure him with his faltering voice. “By tomorrow, I can get back again. It’s just going to be a rough night.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to give up already,” Jaejoong sighed. “You were almost there.”

“No one cares about this brain washed robot anyways,” the voice seemed so lonely through the phone. “I just realized today that I’m clinging on too much to people who don’t give a damn about me.”

“Stupid. You know that’s not true,” Jaejoong said as he switched his phone to the other free ear, getting inside the car. Since when did you start getting down like this?”

“You know the other day, I thought Yoochun finally gave Kim Junsu a chance. But then I found out that he was only nice to me because he knew of my dilemma. He pitied me. It was out of pity that he let me kiss him like that. He doesn't care for me at all.” Junsu answered. “And you Jaejoong, you don’t have to try to make me feel better! Like I said, I’ll be fine by tomorrow. If you still want to live, do not knock on my door.”

“Junsu! You know he doesn’t—!” Jaejoong tried to talk but the line was cut off immediately. “Aish! That damn kid!”

“Something wrong?” Kibum asked beside him at the car seat but Jaejoong ignored him

“Fine!” the blond haired man talked to himself. “If that’s how you’re going to play. I’m going to get down and dirty Kim Junsu.” He bit his lower lip and dialed a number he has never called before.

Once again he placed the phone on his ear, waiting for an answer.

“Hello?” a gentle voice came out of the line. “Who is this?”

“Kim Jaejoong,” he said in a voice full of urgency.

“Wasn’t I just talking to you?” Yoochun asked. "How did you get my number?"

“Listen here. Don’t talk,” Jaejoong never answered his question. “If you plan to repay Junsu for saving your a couple of times—if you have a heart, and if you have this tiny drop of affection for that man, I suggest that you get your back home and talk to Junsu. I’ve been pretty patient but when it comes to Junsu, and it just feels that he doesn’t deserve any of this crap.”

“What’s wrong with the bratty kid?” Yoochun asked.

“Everything!” Jaejoong replied and even emphasized. “If my hunch is right, he should be in the dining area, drowning himself in alcohol.”

“What do you want me to do?” Yoochun asked him. "You know I'm the worst person that can talk to him."

“You found out about his situation right?” Jaejoong questioned him. “He thinks that you pity him. And probably, that’s why he ignored you. Out of everything, pity is the last thing he’d like to get.”

“I'm not a volunteer for this,” Yoochun replied. “Maybe you misinterpreted his thoughts. He really doesn't like me.”

“ Yoochun! I just want you to go! Maybe you’ll hear it from his own mouth,” Jaejoong told him. “Before he puts back his strong façade on, I need you to get in there and destroy that front he always gives out. I don’t care if you make him cry. Just do something! I’m begging you. This is a chance to set him back up. Yoochun…” Jaejoong pleaded as he gripped the steering wheel, looking down on the ground. “If you go there right now, you’ll understand that maybe it’s not the same guy you’ve been judging so hatefully for these past few days. I really want you to go.”

“It sounds like you love him Jaejoong,” Yoochun evaluated the situation. “Why can’t you comfort him instead? Even if he loves me too, if you give him love then shouldn’t it be fine?”

“I ing love Kim Junsu, Yoochun!” Jaejoong yelled out in frustration. “But only as a brother—a family. I feel his pain because it’s oozing out of him. He barely sheds tears and when he does, I was there and I feel so helpless because I know I’m not able to provide that feeling of comfort that he wants. I want to protect him till he’s happy so I stay by his side. Both of you are looking for the same thing and you hold what each other wants! But I don’t understand why you’re so confused when the ing answer is right in front of you. And just to be blunt with you Park Yoochun, you don’t love Changmin. If Changmin is the only thing that is making you confused, then I’ve straightened it out for you right now. Can’t you do me a favor? As long as Junsu doesn’t get out of his state, I’m not going to go out from this jail cell either.”

“Jaejoong,” Yoochun finally spoke out. “Calm down. As much as you want me to be with Kim Junsu, as much as you want me to comfort him, he's Kim Junsu. It's not possible with me you know? Plus I have Changmin already.”

“Changmin this, Changmin that...” Jaejoong furrowed his brow and just banged his head on the steering wheel.

“Jaejoong…” Yoochun tried to sympathize. “Junsu is a man who saved me. As much as I am in debt, I can’t give him my life. I don’t love him.”

“Then, don’t give him your heart if that is what you wish for. I don’t even know what to do with you anymore… I risked everything knowing that maybe you’d reconsider! What if I can prove to you that Changmin isn't in love with you? What if I tell you a secret that will change your relationship forever?"

“If that day ever comes, when you prove that I don’t love Changmin and Changmin isn’t in love with me, I’ll break down and cry right in front of you,” Yoochun truthfully said. “Then, I’d punch your face for ruining my happiness.”

“Fake it,” Jaejoong finally said.

“Didn’t you hear what I just said?” Yoochun told him. “I love Changmin so I'm not going.”

“Fake it,” Jaejoong said again.

“No,” Yoochun replied. “I can’t do that.”

“Fake it!” Jaejoong yelled out loud. So loud in fact, that the car shook along with his voice.

“Jaejoong…” Yoochun said his name once again to calm him down. “He’ll only be hurt this way. You out of all the people should know that.”

“Do whatever you can,” Jaejoong strictly said as he slammed his fist on his wheel this time. “He saved your life from going through that thorny road. Now that we have a chance, I want you to save his life from going down the same path you were going to go to.”

There was a long silence. Only breathing was heard and a chair scratching the floor from being pushed out.

“You have nothing to lose Yoochun,” Jaejoong whispered with pleading.

There was silence that filled the conversation.

“I'll try my best,” Yoochun told him as he made a decision. "I really don't know Jaejoong. Even if I thought Kim Junsu was a bit special...I don't know what this is going to achieve really."

The line was cut.

And after that, Jaejoong sighed and threw his phone at the back seat of the car regretting what he’s about to do and what he did. Before this life, Junsu and Yoochun probably saved him or something. He never met the most dim-witted people in the whole world and he didn’t know why he’s doing all the work.

“This has got to be the dumbest couple I've ever tried to work with,” he whispered out loud as he pressed on the gas, moving the car out of the parking lot with a whole lot of speed.

“I’m not supposed to ask right?” Kibum said as he broke off that menacing silence.

“Ask and you die,” Jaejoong threw a murderous stare at him.

“I think that whatever happens, Jaejoong… it’s not your fault.”

“You're too nice it's unnatural,” Jaejoong smirked.

“Nah," Kibum replied quickly. "I just want a raise."

******************

Thirty minutes passed and to make it not seem suspicious that he was going home to Kim Junsu’s house in urgency, Yoochun just simply talked to Yunho some more at the bakery.

Then, he initiated that they go home. But not too pushy. That’s how he got in the road with Yunho driving him back.

An hour has passed every since Jaejoong’s phone call. And as much as he didn’t want Yunho to travel that fast to delay his traveling time, he just simply got there in front of the mansion stairs in ten minutes time.

“Thanks for the lift back Yunho,” he smiled with melancholy at the man. “Call that guy too. He gave you his number right?”

“You didn’t have to say,” Yunho grinned at him. “I will pay him back definitely.”

“Don’t get to excited,” Yoochun told him as he climbed the stairs and waved. He watched as Yunho’s car turned the corner out of the gates and disappeared. Then, looking at the doors of this heaven or hell that awaited him, he opened them quietly.

“Mother in Heaven,” Yoochun whispered to himself as he rubbed his hands together, keeping himself calm. “Help me.”

His heart was racing rapidly for this reason. He silently walked the hallways until he reached that door to the dining hall. With cold hands, he took his bag off from his shoulder and left it at the hallway.

“Kim Junsu…” he said in an audible voice as he walked in through those doors.

"Yoochun?" Junsu questioned his eyes as the man came closer to him. “Get out. Don’t come any further!" he said with his voice dragging fro drunkenness.

“You…” Yoochun said. With those deep blue eyes that he had, he stared at the figure that sat there drunk, tears running down his eyes. “The robot broke.”

“Then let me fix that robot…” Junsu groggily replied as he poured himself a strong wine, spilling some because of his unstable vision.

Yoochun smiled gently, understanding how bad his situation was. He understood what Jaejoong meant by he could feel Junsu’s pain just by staying beside him. The moment he walked in on this room, the place reeked of it. Just by looking at the man, he felt the sadness already to the point where he just wanted to cry with him.

“Can you fix it in that state you’re in?” Yoochun continued to speak as he got closer and closer to the man who took that seat in the corner. He took slow and quiet steps.

“There is…” Junsu said as his eyes fluttered open and close, “there is nothing Kim Junsu can’t do. There is nothing that…” Tears suddenly just flowed out of his eyes. It made Yoochun confused in an instant. “There is nothing that Kim Junsu can’t do! Fixing a robot? No problem! Because I'm Kim Junsu!”

“You better stop drinking now,” Yoochun told him as he took the drink from Junsu’s hands.

More tears fell out of Junsu’s eyes, rolling down his rosy cheeks and dropping to the white tiles.

“Kim Junsu!” he screamed out loud with a sad grin on his face. He cried at the same time. “He’s perfect. He’s strong. He’s undefeatable!”

“Kim Junsu, snap out of it,” Yoochun held his shoulders. “What are you doing to yourself?”

“Right…I’m Kim Junsu!” the drunk man laughed hysterically as the tears still overflowed from his eyes. “Everybody loves me…everyone adores me!”

In an instant, the glass in front him was flying at the other side of the room. Kim Junsu had definitely broke down today.

“Go away you hateful Yoochun!” he screamed at the man. “I don’t need your pity! I wanted your heart but you gave me pity! How would that make me feel?”

“I care for you Junsu!” Yoochun finally said out loud. He didn’t know how to calm this raging man down from his depression. "I especially do not pity you. I came with you that day hoping to give you a chance... that maybe I was wrong about you...but--"

“But nothing!” Junsu finally stood up from his chair, trying to leave his sight. Unfortunately, he just stood there trying to keep his balance. “Nobody cares. Everyone…bunch of phonies…I’m the defective robot! My world is delusional!”

“Junsu…” Yoochun had no clue of what to do. Is this what Jaejoong was talking about? Wanting to do something but yet, you can’t. His hands reached out but at the same time he retracts them again. He didn’t know. He just didn’t know what to do.

“My mother left me. My sister left me. My father… doesn’t give a ing damn about me,” Junsu said as he knelt on the floor not able to take the unsteady ground that he laid his feet at. “Can’t bother Jaejoong and you… I don't understand. Why do you say things opposite from what you feel? Why are you letting me fall in love with you? Why did you let me kiss you? Are you just leading me on?” he asked as he stared at Yoochun at the seat and him kneeling on the ground. "Why can't I have your heart?"

Junsu cried out loud this time, sobbing in tears. “Why can’t you love me Yoochun? Is it because I’m Kim Junsu?”