Friendship Is Unnecessary... It Has No Survival Value; Rather, It Is One Of Those Things That Give Value To Survival.

Dreams Don't Turn to Dust

     Her nose crinkled as she passed Daehyun's apartment, an instinctual reaction to the smoke she could smell in the air. Pulling down the hood of her jacket- an attempt at disguising herself and avoiding an attack from Mrs. Hong, who had been on her case about accidentally placing a plastic bottle with the glass since early that morning- she paused a moment to try and distinguish where the smell was coming from. It didn't take long; billowing smoke isn't hard to miss. Mesmerized by the tendrils creeping out from under Daehyun's door, it took Hei-Ryung a moment to realize what that much smoke on the outside implied about what was going on inside the apartment.

     "D-Daehyun?!" Hesitantly, she knocked on his door and prayed that he would respond. "Is everything okay?" She rapped her knuckles against the door another time- still no response. What was she supposed to do now? She hadn't taken her cell phone with her to take out the trash, so she couldn't simultaneously call the fire department and continue trying to elicit a response from Daehyun. She needed to pick one or the other, and since knocking on his door hadn't proved useful thus far- Hei-Ryung decided to try calling the fire department. If something had happened to Daehyun, then she was the one who needed to do something about it.

     He could be on the floor of his apartment right now, gasping for breath as the smoke fills every crevice of his lungs and cuts off the oxygen. Maybe he had heard her at his door and tried to call out for help, but was unable to form the words. What must he feel like, knowing that nobody was coming to help? Maybe he was trying to crawl towards the door to let himself out, but the smoke was already beginning to dim his vision and weigh down his limbs; slowly, he was falling asleep, but it was a sleep he knew he would never wake from. So he's in there, fighting for his life, desperately hoping that someone- anyone- will be able to help him.

     Trembling, Hei-Ryung fought to steady her hands long enough to fit her key into her apartment's lock. If she hadn't locked the door on her way out, then that would be one less second Daehyun had to wait in agony for the fire department. Biting down on her lip, she used both hands to hold the key firmly enough to shove it into her lock and twist it violently. Ripping the door open, she was about to sprint her way inside when the door behind her opened.

     "Ms. Kang Kae Cha Hei-Ryung, if you're going to play pranks on people, you need to work on your escape methods," Daehyun chuckled, his voice rising and falling as though he were singing. It distinctly lacked the hoarse, rough texture and panicked emotion of someone who had nearly died of smoke inhalation. "Hei-Ryung?" The humor in his voice vanished, replaced by concern. After hurriedly rubbing at her eyes- she hadn't even realized she had started crying- Hei-Ryung forced a smile on her face and turned to face Daehyun. She couldn't look him in the eye, but she could at least fixate her gaze on a point just to the right of his face.

     "S-sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you..." There was no possible excuse she could offer to explain why she had been knocking on his door. It wasn't as though people accidentally knocked on other's doors, and especially not multiple times. She couldn't claim that she had fallen into his door and accidentally created a knocking noise because, even if he did buy it, how could she explain why she then started using her voice to get his attention? Blushing, she bit down on her lower lip and fidgeted, waiting for Daehyun to say something.

     "Are you okay?" He had noticed how the lights glistened off her still-damp cheeks. Or maybe it had been how conspicuously she had tried to rub away the tears. Maybe she still looked distressed- her heart was still pounding, after all. Whatever it was that had given her away, she was found out and would have to explain why she had created an imaginary crisis in her head and then proceeded to act on said 'crisis'.

     Breathing in deeply, Hei-Ryung went with the first thought that came into her head. "I stubbed my toe." It was a painfully horrific lie, and Hei-Ryung couldn't help contorting her face into a brief expression of disgust at how obvious she was behaving. Now that she had said it, she may as well go all out, though. Go big or go home and all that nonsense. "There's a tear in the carpet," she helplessly gestured to said invisible tear, "and I... um... tripped... into your door... I'm sorry." Lowering her eyes, Hei-Ryung shifted her weight to her right leg and pretended as though her left toe was sore. It was a pitiful attempt at increasing the lies credibility, and Hei-Ryung sincerely hoped that, since she had obviously failed at going big, she would be able to go home and never leave again.

     Playing with the snaps on his baseball cap, Daehyun tried to keep from laughing. It was apparent that Hei-Ryung had done something she regretted and was trying to hide it, so the kind thing would be to play along and spare her the humiliation of being called out. So, after adjusting his hat so that it fell neatly over his hair, Daehyun grinned broadly at her and nodded. "We should probably..." No, he couldn't suggest they complain about the imaginary fray in the carpeting- that would only worry Hei-Ryung more. "Does it still..." Obviously it didn't hurt, she was faking the entire thing! "Are you hungry?" After two false starts, Daehyun found something acceptable to say.

     "It might be a little burnt," he sheepishly gestured to the smoke behind him, "but it should still taste alright." Stepping back into his apartment, he held the door open and gestured for Hei-Ryung to follow him.

     She was stubborn, though. "I have something to eat already-"

     "Are you cooking it right now?"

     "No."

     "Will it be done in the next ten minutes?"

     "Well... probably not that quickly, but-"

     "Then come in. I promise my cooking, despite the overwhelming evidence, isn't going to kill you." After flourishing his hand in what was supposed to be a regal manner, but ended up resembling a dying fish, Daehyun raised his eyebrows expectantly and waited. Sighing, Hei-Ryung fidgeted with the hem of her jacket and slowly shuffled her way through the door. "It'll be done in a few minutes. You can sit over there and wait, if you want." Every inch of Hei-Ryung stiffened when Daehyun placed one hand on the small of her back and leaned over her shoulder so he could direct her to the couch he had pressed against one wall of the apartment. Her lungs stopped functioning, her muscles turned rigid, and even her brain stopped producing thoughts until Daehyun had removed his hand and slipped past her into the kitchen.

     Shuddering off the icy shell that had frozen her in place, Hei-Ryung nervously kicked off her shoes into a corner of the entryway and then quickly pattered into the living area. As far as she could see, the floor plan for Daehyun's apartment was the same as her own. His was much more sparsely furnished than hers, though. Besides the couch he had directed her to sit at, there was a low sitting table that- judging by the faint stains- served as both a dumping ground for miscellaneous objects and a dining table. A guitar case lay open on the floor, empty of the instrument it had been designed to carry but crammed full of other things a musician would find useful: crinkled and dog-eared sheets of music; frayed notebooks full of what looked like lyrics to half-finished songs; a pack of gum that had popped open and released its individually wrapped minty treats into every nook and cranny they could find; an electronic tuner with the back wide open to expose a lot of dust and no batteries; the missing guitar's strap, held together by a wad of duct tape painted black to try and disguise it; a variety of colored picks, some brand new and others worn to the point of imminent destruction; a capo with an odd-looking design Hei-Ryung believed was supposed to resemble a masked rabbit; and beer cans, some half-full and others completely drained.

     There were a few more lying on their side by the guitar, which had been placed face-up beside a mess of pens and paper. If she twisted slightly to look behind her, Hei-Ryung could see a couple more poking out of the kitchen's trash can. If she tried hard enough, she could barely detect the smell of alcohol that aded the room but had been covered up by the overwhelming smoke. Though she had never learned first hand, Hei-Ryung had done enough research for her books to know that you didn't get that strong of a smell with just a drink or two. If she had to guess, Hei-Ryung would say that the dozen or so beer cans strewn throughout his living room had all been opened- and thus, most likely, consumed- the previous night.

     He didn't seem hung over, though there were signs that he may have experienced quite the miserable morning. The blinds were closed, blocking out most of the light from outside, and there were several glasses lined up on the counter, most of which still had a few drops of water in them. Sitting next to the empty cups was a bottle of pain killers. "Seems like things were rough for him this morning," Hei-Ryung thought, turning back around before Daehyun caught her surveying his home.

     Maybe this was the normal life style of an indie performer, though. Sleeping during the day- she never did see much of him while the sun was out- and then composing during the night, aided by alcohol and who knows what else. Hei-Ryung couldn't smell any other types of smoke, though- just the charcoal odor of mercilessly burnt food. Sure, she could be categorized as an eccentric artist as well, but she worked for a reputable publishing company and spent most of her time cooped up indoors- not bouncing between clubs and hoping that one of them might let her perform so she can have the money to pay for her rent. Yongguk probably led the same life style; maybe he was the one who had introduced Daehyun to all of it, even.

     Yongguk... She still hadn't answered Jieun's latest question. Although it had taken her a few days to work up the courage, Jieun had approached Yongguk and was now seeing him regularly- as a friend. So, though she was happy that he at least knew of her existence now, Jieun had come back to Hei-Ryung to ask how she could move their relationship further. Unsure of how to respond, Hei-Ryung had left the e-mail alone for the better part of the morning, and then forced herself to forget about it entirely while she continued working on her writing. There was only so long she could avoid answering the e-mail, though. Eventually, she would either need to admit that she had no idea what Jieun should do next, or come up with some generic answer that would hopefully be applicable to Yongguk.

     There were so many different types of men, after all. Maybe Yongguk was the type who would prefer they took things slowly and gradually progressed into the relationship. Or maybe he would rather her subtly imply that she was attracted to him, then wait for him to either ignore her advances or act on them. Of course, he could want a girl who would simply state how she felt, putting all her cards on the table and being completely honest with him. She had only met him once, and even then it had been so brief that she found it impossible to even try to come up with what kind of a guy he was. She could always guess, but if she got it wrong then she could completely jeopardize Jieun's chances with him, and ruin the poor girl's love life. It would be so much easier if this were one of her book's. Being an omniscient being who can perfectly orchestrate every aspect of two people's lives was so much better than stumbling around blindly.

     "!"Hei-Ryung had almost forgotten where she was. Spinning around in her seat to see what had caused Daehyun's sudden outburst, she noticed a plume of dark gray smoke rising from the pan he was desperately attempting to maneuver toward the sink. "Crack a window before the alarm goes off!" His voice was barely audible over the hiss of cold water hitting a burning hot pan, but Hei-Ryung understood the meaning of his wildly waving arms. Jumping to her feet, she rushed over to the nearest window and, after a short struggle with the latch, pushed it open. Instantly, a cool breeze from outside rushed into the room, pushing and pulling the smoke into a cloud that caught the final rays of daylight and turned cotton-candy pink. As the smoke began to disperse, Hei-Ryung ran her fingers through it to create puffs of spinning color.

     Daehyun snatched a dish cloth off the counter and used it to quickly dry his hands. He had hoped to salvage the food, but the soggy mess he had dumped into the sink not only looked inedible, but possibly poisonous; a black lump squatting in a corner of the silver basin, dejected about having been placed in the hands of such an inexperienced chef. Groaning, Daehyun snatched off his snapback and mussed the silver bedhead he had been hiding underneath. He could heat up the leftover soup he had sitting in his fridge, but it would be embarassing to serve Hei-Ryung something that he suspected she had made in the first place. There wasn't really much choice at this point, though.

     Running his hands through his hair, Daehyun leaned against the counter and joined Hei-Ryung in watching the smoke drift outside. "It's pretty, isn't it?' He commented, then suppressed a laugh when Hei-Ryung dropped her hands and tried to pretend she hadn't been fascinated by the 'cloud'. "Still, it means that our dinner is toast. I could warm up some soup, though. It's really good soup." He suspected that Hei-Ryung, who had already been reluctant to come over, would politely turn down his offer and go back to her own apartment, but Daehyun opened his refrigerator and pulled out the plastic wrapped bowl of leftovers anyway.

     "That's fine," Hei-Ryung mumbled, neatly folding her hands in her lap as she dropped back onto the couch.

     "You sure?" He nudged the refrigerator door shut with his foot and glanced over at Hei-Ryung. She wasn't looking at him, and her cheeks were as pink as the smoke, but she didn't look like she was lying; just recovering from her previous embarrassment. Tentatively, she nodded once. "Alright, then. This time I promise it will only take a few minutes," Daehyun chuckled, pulling out a pot so he could reheat the soup on the stove instead of in the microwave- he could at least do that much.

     "What kind of soup is it?"

     "Haejangguk." As he answered, Daehyun feigned nonchalance while watching for a reaction from Hei-Ryung. The look of disappointment on her face was unmistakable, even though she quickly turned her back to him to try and hide it. He didn't want her to think he didn't appreciate what she had done for him- he had more than appreciated it, in fact- but he also didn't want to let on that he knew it was her. If Hei-Ryung had wanted to take credit for the soup, then she would have left a note or dropped it off personally. "I didn't make it," he began, hesitantly testing out the waters. Hei-Ryung didn't show any reaction, so he continued pressing forward: "Somebody left it at my door. It's not poisoned or anything, though. If it were, I'd be dead now because of how much I hate." He couldn't see her face, but Hei-Ryung's back had definitely straightened a little. Smiling, Daehyun tossed the plastic wrap into the trash and the stove.

     With the menu settled, both Hei-Ryung and Daehyun settled into a comfortable lack of conversation. Things weren't silent, though. Outside, the sound of cars and chattering people drifted through the window and created soft background ambiance while Daehyun hummed to himself. Resting her elbow on the couch's arm rest, Hei-Ryung cupped her chin in her hand and watched the sun make it's descent behind the horizon. When it had vanished and the deep purple of early evening encroached on the oranges and pinks left behind, Daehyun the lights and then set down two bowls of soup at the table.

     "Thank you." Sliding off the couch, Hei-Ryung sat cross-legged in front of her bowl and waited politely for Daehyun to ease himself onto the floor.

     "No problem." Casually pushing a beer can out of sight, he smiled at Hei-Ryung and gestured for her to start eating. Being thanked for serving someone food they had made was definitely strange, but Daehyun tried to keep it off his face and instead focused on eating. Despite the irony, Daehyun was tempted to grab a beer from the fridge to have along with the soup, but then thought better of it. Hei-Ryung didn't seem like the type to drink, and besides, he wanted to stay sober while she was here. So he settled for slurping down the soup as quickly as he could, not allowing himself time to think about the alcoholic beverages sitting in his refrigerator.

     Hei-Ryung, though, was preoccupied by an idea she had come across. While she might not know anything about Yongguk's preferences, Daehyun, as one of his friends, stood a good chance of knowing a thing or two. How could she initiate a conversation about Yongguk, though? It wasn't like she knew him well enough to bring him up in casual conversation. Glancing around the room from the corner of her eye, she tried to come up with something that might even vaguely tie into Yongguk. After a cursory glance, her eyes landed on Daehyun's guitar and half-finished song.

     "Is that for another performance with Yongguk?" Proud of herself for coming up with such a clever way to ease into the conversation, Hei-Ryung allowed herself to relax a little.

     "Hm?" Pausing in eating long enough to glance at what she was referring to, Daehyun nodded. "Yongguk usually does most of the composing, but I've been trying to put a song together in my spare time," the response was brisk and to the point. Frowning slightly, Hei-Ryung wondered just how much she would be able to get out of Daehyun while he was busy eating.

     "So Yongguk likes composing?" Daehyun grunted an affirmative. "What other kinds of things does he like?" Her transition between casual conversation starter and the intended point wasn't the smoothest, but Daehyun didn't appear to be phased. Setting down his bowl- which was practically empty- he propped himself up with his arms and leaned back.

     "He likes hip hop and rapping, charity work, ramen, Tigger... Why the sudden-"

     "What would his ideal date be?" Displeased with having been interrupted, and confused by such an odd question, Daehyun pursed his lips into a frown. "S-sorry," Hei-Ryung quietly apologized, but Daehyun waved it off.

     "Yongguk is a pretty simple guy, so I don't think he would like anything extravagant. Maybe just take him out for ramen? I don't know if there's anywhere in particular he likes to eat, but..." Daehyun had lost her. Raising one eyebrow, he watched as Hei-Ryung noticeably spaced out. "You know, I'm pretty sure there's a girl he's already interested in, so if you're thinking of asking him out-" He cut himself off when he saw how red Hei-Ryung was turning. Apparently, she had been trying to be subtle.

     "I'm not asking for me!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in front of her as a blockade against Daehyun's implications. "There's someone I know- another girl- who needs to know."

     "A friend of yours?" He slipped out of his jacket and tossed it over the back of the couch.

     "Not exactly," Hei-Ryung admitted, shrugging her shoulders.

     "So an almost-friend; like how Youngjae is your sort-of boss. Is there anyone you can definitively say 'this is such-and-such to me'? Any one hundred percent friends?" Hei-Ryung, after a moments deliberation, shook her head. Quietly, she went back to eating, leaving Daehyun to regret having asked. Glancing out the window so he risk accidentally making eye-contact with Hei-Ryung, he tried to think of a quick way to recover. When he had come up with something, he turned to Hei-Ryung and dramatically placed one hand over his heart. "I'm hurt!" Spoon still in , Hei-Ryung looked up at Daehyun with wide, confused eyes as he flopped against the couch. "And here I thought we had something special- that we were two people brought together by fate into a glorious connection of friendship!" His voice choked up as he peered at Hei-Ryung through his eyelashes.

     She had one hand pressed to to hide her developing smile, but her eyes betrayed how she was feeling. "I-I'm sorry. I hadn't realized that you-" Her attempt at apologizing through a fit of giggles was interrupted when Daehyun held up a finger and shook his head. As his face grew even more serious, Hei-Ryung was barely able to contain herself. Still, she managed to hold herself together well, and when Daehyun realized that he wouldn't get her to crack without a little more pushing, he broke the dramatic silence.

     "I will only believe that you truly see me as a friend if you prove yourself to me." Daehyun's lips twitched dangerously as he tried to keep from laughing. "If you can find it within yourself to give me the rest of your soup, I will realize that you truly value our newly discovered-" he didn't even have the chance to finish; Hei-Ryung was already pushing her bowl across the table to him, a broad grin on her face. Mirroring her expression, Daehyun downed the soup in one shot.

     Later, the pair headed up to the rooftop with a bag of Melona bars Daehyun had found tucked at the back of his freezer.

     Dangling her legs over the edge of the roof, Hei-Ryung rested one arm on the guard railing and held her ice pop in the other. Behind her, Daehyun lay sprawled out on the concrete, alternating between on his third ice pop and singing along to his iPod. Smiling softly to herself, Hei-Ryung swayed along with his voice and tried not to giggle each time he would suddenly break off to eat. Resting on the space beside her was a sheet of note paper she had borrowed from Daehyun and had used to scribble down her response to Jieun's e-mail, thus preventing herself from forgetting what she wanted to say. Later, she would transcribe it to the computer and send it. She just hoped that Jieun wouldn't be upset that Hei-Ryung had been unable to respond to her in a timely manner.

     Take him out for lunch- I've heard that Mr. Blackman is particularly fond of ramen and seafood. I would recommend a specific restaurant he may enjoy, but I'm not sure what part of Seoul you live in. I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding somewhere the two of you will enjoy, though. Offer to pay for him- it's a sign that you see this as more than just "hanging out". Don't directly state that you want to ask him out on a date, though. Try to keep it as casual as possible; avoid eating dinner with him if possible. Dinners, even at small ramen restaurants, always seem more formal than lunches. Besides, eating lunch means you have time to do something with him afterwards- ask him what he'd be interested in doing and go with that. Other than this, I can't offer much advice. You don't arrive at love because you checked off a certain number of boxes on a list, or because events happened in a certain way; love just happens. It's the most natural thing in the world. I've found that my most popular books aren't about two people being thrown together by extraordinary circumstances, or desperately trying to find the other; they're about two people who meet by chance and naturally come to care for one another. Let things happen in their own time, and I promise you everything will work out for the best.

     ~Wishing you the best, Cha Hei-Ryung

 


Author's Note:

So... I guess I am updating today, hehe ^-^'  It's out much later than I wanted, but this chapter is the first one that I've actually enjoyed out of the little side trilogy that's been going on. I'm not too happy with the title, though. Any suggestions that might fit the chapter better?

And thank you to all my subscribers! 25 might not seem like a lot to some people, but to me it's a really big deal- it's almost double my second most subscribed story! ^-^ So thank you, thank you to all those who have stuck with me, despite the mediocrity and haphazard updating I seem to run into sometimes. I really appreciate the support, and hope that you continue to enjoy reading Dreams Don't Turn to Dust!

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katgirl
[5/3] FINALLY hell week is over and I can get back into the swing of things. It might take me a while to put out updates at first, but I'll try my best! TT^TT

Comments

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Marymanou
#1
Ok hands down this is one of the most well written bap stories I ever read! Seriously the storyline, the detailed way you portray all the events as well as the character's personalities, just everything is so amazing~ It feels like reading an actual book hehe please keep up the good work authornim!
imanie93
#2
Chapter 44: i'm waiting for century~please update more~
katgirl
#3
So apparently I just do not have the ability to balance school and writing, especially now that I've started working more. I highly doubt I'll be able to put out any updates during this semester (AGAIN TT^TT), although I might be able to do some writing over Spring Break if I end up staying at home and not going on a road trip with friends. I'm really, REALLY sorry that this story keeps getting put onto the back burner, but the semester will be over at the end of April and I should be able to put out updates again. Until then, thank you for sticking around TT^TT
imanie93
#4
Chapter 43: Please update soon~I'm start addicted for this story~And I don't know why,I keep imagined Hei Ryung as Juniel~haha..
imanie93
#5
Chapter 41: I wonder if Youngjae had any feeling to Hei Ryung~
Dream_Weaver
#6
Chapter 43: Thanks for the update! I actually find myself relating to Hei-Ryung sometimes. I feel like we've all been in a situation where we've written a strongly-worded letter only to delete it before sending. I love how Hei-Ryung is letting her inner detective come out, too. Keep up the great work! :D
Scarierthanakitty
#7
Chapter 41: It's a shame this story isnt well known YET.. :c it's one of my favorite b.a.p fics!!! Thanks for updating :) Poor hei-ryung ..