Oh sweet catastrophe now where have you been? I've searched for you so desperately, inside of this pen. You're the answer I've needed, but the question I've feared.
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*8 years ago

I wasn't sure whether I wanted to die or not at this point. The cold nipped at my skin softly at first, then the longer i lay there the harsher it bit into my face, the only exposed skin left on me. I floated in and out of consciousness caught in a sort of lively limbo. I didnt need to move my eyes downward to see blood stained my seven month old white wool coat. well it wasnt so white anymore. A deep gash from a bite seethed open under my coat, the blood pooling in and over the holes and through the threads. I faintly remembered looking down and thinking the blood was terrifyingly beautiful, like a rose unfurling and spreading its petals across me, trying to engulf me. Except it wasn't a rose, it was my blood. Dark silhouettes gathered at the corner of my vision and as the blur cleared I saw snouts and multi pairs of inhuman eyes staring down at me.
wolves.
I remember it was as if they were actually talking to each other, only through growls , aggresive body language and, the eyes, it was always the eyes that spoke the most. The wolves snarled while me....biting me. carelessly letting their teeth knick my skin and snag into my hair. But I had no energy to fight. I could've screamed or fought but I didn't I just lay there mostly slack like a dead piece of meat staring up at the faint blue-gray sky, snow softly fluttering downward. The wolves surrounded me, there were quite a few and they were pushed up basically against me cutting off whatever was left of the falling sunlight. That madeit all the more colder and i had forgotten what it felt like to be warm. I moved my eyes to the closest wolf, its coat was a mixture of soft and harsh auburns but the most harshness stood out on its face. I could tell it was angry, its growls the loudest and it looked as if it were ready to eat me. At this point i was ready to die. most 8 year olds im sure didnt think that way at the time but i closed my eyes as its foul breath neared my face. But then I remember hearing a roar, a distinct one that rang and pierced the tranquility of the snowy winter that surrounded us. in a flash I saw a much darker wolf tackle the auburn wolf. I summoned what was left of my energy and turned my head to see them scramble up and the black wolf start to back towards me. He growled at the rest of the group, some stood their ground, some cowered, some growled back in unequal fierceness. Seeing that the other wolves would not dare come near the wolf turned to me, my eyes followed it and as it came near it nudged my cheek with its unsurprisingly cold nose. Puzzled i looked up at it and spied streaks of black blue in its pitch dark fur, then i looked into its eyes. I remember well but would never forget those surprisingly human and piercing gold eyes that wolf had. I wanted to reach other and carress its face but I didn't my hands stayed balled and pinned to my chest. I took in as the other wolves backed off more and more the cold shifted and the sun broke through falling faintly across me. I had briefly forgot what it felt like to be so cold. For a moment there was no sun, no light, no warmth. Then I remembered this, his gold eyes. In more ways than one he saved me. I didn't die, because i obviously wouldnt be recounting this. But it was like I was lost and died in such coldness then was reborn, like a phoenix, through sudden warmth. Salvation. I'd thought i'd never see those eyes again.

---

I watched on silently, doing nothing as I watched a few of the pack stealthy sneak then snatch the girl from her little spot she played on in her backyard. She didn't scream or even put up a huge fight. They dragged her like a sack of potatoes and her body left tracks trailing behind her. I could see Kris's teeth sink into her shoulder and the metallic scent of her blood silently spread through the air. her blood filled my nostrils as a bright scent contrasting the cold dark world I lived in. It had been a long winter, the coldest one out of them all. It was uneventful and miserable being left in the dank woods under the cold worthless sun, worthless, it provided no warmth at this point. We were starving, we were dying, the ache of starvation gnawing at all our stomachs. One of us was killed recently trying to capture a deer but hunters were in the area. Sehun, yea, he was the one that was shot. my friend. His shoulder had healed up nicely but he fights to limp. After the incident we all stayed in the woods awaiting out our starvation. Until they came upon her and attacked her leaving the humane parts of their souls behind.
They surrounded her snarling, biting, and proding as if they were confused on who should tear into her first.I didnt stop it. I saw their muzzles painted red, tugging her this way and that, she was ready to fall apart. I still didnt stop it.
I was above most of the pack. Jaaejoong and Yunho made sure. I sauntered up, starving but not entirely interested in eating a human girl. That's the thing, I didnt care until i saw her eyes. She stared carelessly up at the sky as if she were silently pleading for god to end it. But they were alive and youthful nonetheless. Again the scent of her blood rippled through the air and my stomach flipflopped painfully. I hadnt eaten in so long. I tried to ignore her soft painful moans and whatever was left of her sweet innocence. We were about to take a life that wasnt one of our own. A life for ours. She was so tiny....so small under our big hulking furry bodies.
With a growl i shoved forward and Sehun growled at me his bloody muzzle pulling up over his canines. But i was still bigger than him as he was only several months younger than me. Siwon growled a deep rumble from his chest to back me up then snarled at sehun. I was now next to her. She stared up at the sky with glassy eyes. Was she dead? maybe. Ipushed my nose into her palm and then her cheek and watched her neck seeing a faint pulse jump that ran along . I lifted my head back and she turned to look at me. Puzzled but she looked at me with such innocent misery and possibly relief. I recoiled and began to shake but it wasn't hunger or anger at the damaged they caused her. it was her eyes, her big hazel eyes on mine. The rest of the pack snarled and started to turn away sauntering back into the woods while a few stayed for a bit longer snarling at their unattainable prey. Her eyes on me and mine on hers. Her blood staining my furry face. I flicked my tongue and the taste exploded on my tongue. her blood, on my face. She was like a small fragile bloodied little bird in the snow. So pure she had this light to her one I have never seen in another person i nawhile. She was one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen. And i saved her, i stopped it, i stopped it all, more importantly i stopped THEM from destroying such a small fragile beautiful bird. and I'll remember that for the rest of my life i thought to myself as i pushed my nose into her cheek again, turned and sauntered away with the rest of my pack back into the woods. I'll always remember, i stopped it......I saved her.

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Troublemaker

Aff_x_tion

12:56AM

1-9-13