Did you ever have something that is really precious, something that you treasured mostly like a doll you had when you are a kids. You love it with all your life. You treasured it the most. You would feel like you will die if you lose it. So precious, so precious to you but there will be a time….

When you start to grow up, when you got a new toy, when you forget about it..you are going to lose it. And you definitely lose it.

Some won’t even realize it but some will… Some of them will, will realize that their precious things are gone lost and can never be restored back.

I had my dream in my hand. It’s a dream I had been working, giving all of me into it. I got my muse. I got myself and I give it all. It just cost me a lot, cost me my muse. I am back to square. Back to where I begin, but this time I alone. I don’t have my muse. I am in crowd, people worships me but I am not happy. I had a life envied by people I envy of.

I don’t have my muse. I lost it amidst this life I have dreaming of. I never seen a life without her but now I am living a life without her. I am living a life I never dreamed of.

How can I smile back?

How can I live this dream?

I feel l like drunken man just sobered up and found out I mess up everything.

It wasn’t nice. I sighed and saw a sheets peeking beneath my lyrics book. I sighed and pulled it out carefully not to tear it.

My hand shaking, it was a song I never get to sing to her. It’s a song that I would never get to sing to her. How fool can I get.

“Jinyoung”

I push the book back into its place. Kris voice stabbed me ever. I remember when I gather my courage to go and see him. He storm inside the room as if he is expecting me to come.

“What we have here.”

“Kris..” my voice stuck in my throat.

“I ING LOST MY LITTLE SISTER ALL THESE YEARS AND I WON’T EVEN GET TO SEE HER LOOKING AT ME AGAIN. I SHOULD HAVE PREVENTED HER EARLIER FROM FOLLOWING YOU.” His anger exploded, blasting every word that slapped me harshly on my face.

“I WISH IT WASN’T HER STANDING THERE ALONE THERE THAT MORNING. I WISH IT WAS YOU.” Kris shoved me to a wall.

“It was stupid of me to believe that you will make her happy. So foolish, you get your dream. You are famous now but you have to accept that we both lost our precious person. You won’t get to see her again.”

Jinyoung slid to the floor when Kris loosen his grip. He wanted to see her even if that only means that he will be standing in front a cold tomb where his muse now buried deep cold and lifeless.

“GET OUT FROM HERE. I really hope I won’t have to see your face again.” Kris’s shoulder trembled.

I was foolish. I wish I could turn the time back. I wish I won’t be late again. I wish I was there that morning. I wish I could have you by my side, leaning on me.

I wish you could kiss me again.

I stood and walked out the room and the cold house greeted me. I guess, all the warmth went missing with you.

I walked to the bedroom. Your scent is fading,. The curtain isn’t withdrawn open. Your place was empty. Your clothes neatly arranged untouched. Yet you are fading.

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