I put down the telephone while writing down the order.

“Hey Annie! New order. Guy on the phone named Jamie wants a thin crust supreme!”

“Okay!” I heard in the back of the pizza parlor.

The parlor was empty, and as I waited for another costumer to walk in, I stared at my phone. “No new messages.” No. New. Messages. No messages from my ex, begging for forgiveness, for another chance. Nothing. I felt like I engulfed the emptiness of the parlor while my insecurity overfilled me like a faucet overflowed a sink. Before I started moping over my ex again, a young couple entered the restaurant.

They walked slowly to the counter, holding hands, whispering something and giggling with each other. Their happiness was palpable and it made me feel sick. I glared at them, but right when they noticed me I changed my glare to a business smile.

“Welcome! What would you like today?”

“Hi! We are going to buy pizza,” a mountain said. I had to look up to the ceiling to see this man’s chin. When I finally focused on his face, I saw a handsome Chinese man with a little grease holding his hair back sporting a humble leather jacket. My brief loss of attention was not helped by his confusing Asian accent.

“Excuse me?” I replied, slightly confused.

“Sorry,” responded the girl, a tall beauty. I could understand why she was taken. Anyone who looked like she did and was single would definitely have some sort of problem. “His name is Kris and he’s from China so it might be hard to understand him. We want two personal pan pizzas as well as two medium drinks.”

“Ok. That will be $22.47 please.”

The tall man pulled out his luxurious leather wallet and handed me a credit card.

“Thank you for purchasing here! Your pizza will be ready in around fifteen minutes. Feel free to stay here and wait.” I said nasally, with a fake smile.

My eyes followed the couple with envy as they walked to a nearby table, sat down, and gazed at each other. A humongous ball started forming in my throat the longer I stared at their love. They reminded me so much of my relationship, the beginning where you can’t stop thinking about each other. I told myself to stop staring, but I could not pull my eyes off them. All I could do was compulsively check “No New Messages” while staring at them.

Maybe they’ll end up just like me, realizing that there was nothing there but lust and leaving each other heartbroken, I thought. Or maybe that’s their true love. Maybe they are going to get married and have a beautiful life in the suburbs and live haPPILY EVER AFTER!  I screamed in my head. Frustration heated up my body, and I put my head on the cold counter and shielded my eyes from the couple, wallowing in self misery.

Or maybe it doesn’t matter, something at the back of my mind whispered, because you’ll find whatever they have, someday. And better yet, whatever you’ll have will be forever.

With this new thought in mind, I walked their pizzas to their table and said “I hope you enjoy your meal!” I looked at the lovers, and smiled. Genuinely.