03; Sehun

"Did you say something, Sehun?"

"Nah, it was just the wind."

a. A fan... of sorts

The sun shone mercilessly down on the twelve extremely good-looking young men. Who were now also extremely hot and bothered.

"I feel gross," grumbled Kris. "The sweat's making my clothes stick to my skin."

"When manager-hyung said he'd treat us to dinner, I didn't know he meant dinner at a very remote restaurant on top of a hill!" Jongdae groaned. "What kind of a treat is this, anyway?"

"He probably couldn't get reservations for the snazzy place downtown," Tao mused. "I knew he always wanted to, but then places there are really hard to get."

"Shh, be quiet!" hissed Baekhyun. "He's just there!" The members turned behind to look at their manager, whose expression was unreadable and they couldn't be sure whether he'd heard them or not.

"Anyway, do you guys need some help?" asked Minseok. He put his hand on Yixing's arm and the latter jumped up so high that he almost went through the (non-existent) roof. 

"That was painful, hyung!" He wailed, rubbing his arm which was now a patch of red. "Too cold."

Minseok pouted. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to cool you down."

"Oh god. I. Can't. Take. It. Any. More," complained Luhan. "Sehunnie!" he cried as he latched himself onto the maknae's arm. Sehun staggered back with a startled yelp. Luhan's surprise attacks always caught him unawares.

"Please blow me." Luhan implored, a little too loudly. Sehun found himself turning red at an alarming rate while the others burst out into a spontaneous coughing fit.

"Are you guys alright?" Luhan asked concernedly, seemingly unaware of the innuendo behind what he'd just said.

"I'm fine, hyung," Sehun said in between coughs.

"Then what happened?"

"Um," Sehun swallowed uncomfortably. "Uh you said something that was really... misleading..."

"Oh my god," Luhan widened his eyes as the double meaning behind what he said hit him, "I didn't mean it that way! erts! What the hell were you thinking?" he berated.

"What else were we supposed to think?" complained Jongin. "You should have said it in another way that didn't sound so suggestive."

"How else can I say it then? 'Blow at me'?" Luhan wrinkled his nose. "Nope, sounds weird. 'Blow to me'? 'Blow on me'?" He shook his head hard. "I give up." 

"Maybe 'use your powers on me'?" Baekhyun offered helpfully (or not so, as the distasteful shaking of the members' heads told him). "On second thoughts, maybe not."

"Anyway you understand what I'm trying to say, right?" Luhan asked. Sehun nodded and Luhan smiled in relief. "Then do it."

Within a second, strong gusts of wind started blowing all around Sehun, making him akin to a walking tornado.

"Whee!" exclaimed Luhan, prancing around him. The wind was certainly a welcome relief from having the sun burn his head. 

"Me too!" yelled Chanyeol as he scooted over to the two who looked like they were enjoying themselves.

The rest of the EXO members all flocked to Sehun, jostling around him to find the best spot in order to have the full blast of the wind directed at them. 

"Ahh," exhaled Tao comfortably, "This feels really good."

Sehun raised an eyebrow at his hyungs, unamused. "How am I even supposed to walk when you guys are around me blocking my way?"

"Let's just do a train thing," suggested Kyungsoo, and the EXO members quickly formed up into a train behind Sehun. The maknae pursed his lips at the quirky antics of his hyungs. Sometimes he really couldn't understand how he seemed to be the most mature one, even though he was the youngest.

"If you say so," he shrugged. 

"Onwards!" Junmyeon commanded, and Sehun started walking. With all twelve members joined hand to shoulder as they walked, it was really quite a sight. 

b. Emergency fart dissipator

The squalid and remote restaurant turned out to be quite a good one. Or maybe it was because the members didn't really have high expectations in the first place.

"I'm bloated," moaned Chanyeol as he headed towards the van, patting his full stomach.

"Me too," agreed Kyungsoo, "I'm not gonna be able to eat for the next twenty-four hours."

The rest of the members murmured assent as they climbed into the van, too stuffed to be able to properly say anything. The van started driving off at a steady speed when everybody had got on, and a veil of silence descended upon them as they travelled. Even Chanyeol, usually the noisiest and most hyperactive of the lot, became quiet. 

There was an unmistakable "poot" in the silence and all EXO members paused from what they were doing to look at each other, horrified. Each one found themselves staring at the eleven other members, trying to figure out who it was who dared commit such an audacious atrocity.

"It was me," Baekhyun owned up in a small voice. Immediately, he found all eleven pairs of eyes swivel to stare at him and he suddenly wished that he could just shrivel up into a hole and die there.

They were in an enclosed space.

Which meant no circulation of air.

Which meant that the force of the stench hit them hard.

Like, real hard.

"Ack!" Everyone groaned and winced synchronisedly, covering their noses at the same time.

"Pee-ew!" grimaced Jongin, pinching his nose with one hand and fanning the air around him with the other. "What did you have for dinner, hyung?"

"I saw him eating loads of baked beans," Jongdae said accusatorily. "He was filling his plate up to the brim with them."

"He drank bean soup as well!" Tao chimed in, and Baekhyun wished very much for one of Chanyeol's fireballs to hit him so that he could spontaneously combust into flames. 

"But I like beans," he weakly retorted, trying desperately to hold on to whatever was left of his dignity.

"Sehun-ah, can you please help?" Junmyeon asked, his voice coming out extra nasally because of how hard he was pinching his nose. Yixing broke out into a fit of laughter upon hearing him speak, causing him to unintentionally release the hold he had on his nose.

Uh-oh.

His face quickly turned green after inhaling the toxic air and he immediately pinched his nose once more, not even daring to breathe.

After throwing judging glances at every single one of his hyungs, Sehun sighed audibly. "Okay."

Immediately a great gust of wind was brewing inside the van and after a few seconds, the wind stopped. Kris cautiously lowered his hand and when he coudn't smell any more of the offending scent, breathed a sigh of relief.

"All clear, guys, you can breathe normally now." The rest of the EXO members quickly lowered down their hands with a collective sigh of relief.

"I didn't know farts could be potentially lethal," Minseok remarked as he snuck a not-so-subtle glance at Baekhyun, who was burying his face in Chanyeol's shoulder, face painfully red out of embarrassment.

"No kidding guys, I almost died. It was really no joke," announced Yixing with a straight face.

"Stop," wailed Baekhyun, but they just continued on mercilessly.

"Personally I think it'd make an awesome murder weapon, hyung. It'd kill without a trace," Jongin said matter-of-factly.

"You guys just tore up the last shreds of my manly pride," mumbled Baekhyun into Chanyeol's shirt. 

"If I had breathed in just a little bit more of that gas, I would have died," declared Luhan. "Sehun, it's thanks to you that we survived the ordeal." He turned and flashed a bright smile at him, which made Sehun grin back.

It's times like these that made him glad about having a power.

c. Personal hairdryer

Sehun didn't like wet hair. Junmyeon, however, seemed to be blatantly unaware of that fact.

"Hyung," Sehun called, as Junmyeon entered their shared dorm with dripping wet hair, having just come out of the shower. 

"Huh?" Junmyeon turned his head to look at him, confusion evident in his widened eyes and open mouth.

"Your hair's wet," Sehun stated.

"Yeah, I know."

"Your hair's wet," Sehun repeated, emphasing the last word in hopes that he would get it. Being the dense grandpa that he was, however, Junmyeon did not and his brows only furrowed in puzzlement.

"I know. Haven't you told me that already?"  

Sehun sighed. "You have to go dry it, I don't like your hair when it's wet," he explained. 

"Oh," Junmyeon said, but he didn't move. Sehun sighed again.

"Seems like I have to dry your hair for you, then." He lifted his hand and aimed it at Junmyeon's head, and immediately a great gust of wind blew at his head. Junmyeon jumped a little, startled, then tried to run away from the gusts of wind.

"Stop running away, hyung, you have to dry your hair," Sehun shouted above the noisy wind while trying to maintain his direction, which was hard when all Junmyeon was doing was to dodge and duck. "Plus you're getting water all over the room." 

"But it feels weird," Junmyeon cried. "And my hair's getting messed up."

"I will stop after your hair's dry," Sehun yelled back, still trying very hard to get his aim correct because he didn't expect Junmyeon to run this fast. He always thought his athletic abilities were that of a grandpa's as well.

Junmyeon gave up trying to escape and just stood there awkwardly while Sehun blasted his wind at him. After a few minutes, the wind stopped. Junmyeon reached up tentatively to touch his hair and frowned.

"It's messy, Sehun-ah."

"Use a comb, hyung," Sehun said nonchalantly as he tossed him one. Junmyeon tried to catch it but failed miserably as the comb whizzed past his fingers and hit his foot instead.

"Sehunnie! There's a draught in my room!" Luhan's distinctive voice could be heard from the other side of the dorm. "Crap! Come quick! My DBSK posters are gonna be ripped off!"

Calmly, Sehun walked over to Luhan's room, leaving a miffed leader shouting mild expletives as he grabbed his sore foot. 

A/N:

Haven't updated in like forever omg sorry ;_; I neglected this too much in order to focus on my other fics. 

I've been a bad, bad author and omg the ual innuendo kill me now /shot.

I will probably disappear for a while after this update so. My sincerest apologies in advance /yanks out my heart and gives it to you