“Are you in love with anyone right now?”

“No.”

Even though it wasn’t raining anymore, water still hung in the air. It was like droplets seemed to come out of the darkness and latch onto your clothes. Loneliness seemed to grow out of every corner and creep into the mind of TOP as he walked out of the back lot of a variety show.  He stared at the sky with his heart resting on that one word he said: NO.  Taking a deep breath, he snapped himself out of his daze and started to look for his ride.

“Hey! Over here!” he yelled when he found his driver, and as he waited for the black vehicle to drive up, he stared at himself in a nearby puddle. His face was like an oval, with his hair combed up so the top of his head looked flat. His eyebrows seemed to overexaggerate his eyes. The more he looked at his reflection, the more his heart seemed to dwell on that word: No.

Yes he was.

The car finally came. He opened the car door and plopped himself down on the back seat.

“Can you get me to Seoul National University Hospital?”

 

 

-

Seunghyun walked in, expressionless, through the sliding doors of SNUH, pass the nurses in the ED, and into the elevator. He looked at the various buttons on the inside of the elevator door and pressed the two that he had gotten too used to pushing on: “5” and “close door”.

Ding.

Seunghyun waited for the elevator door to open up all the way before he stepped out into the hallway.

“Good evening Mr. Choi. She’s been the same since yesterday,” the receptionist told Seunghyun as soon as he came up on the reception desk.

“Thanks,” he replied while he proceeded to walk to the left. It seemed the closer he walked to his destination, the slower he dragged his feet. By the time he got to room 527, his feet were barely staggering. Finally arriving at the room he wanted, 529, Seunghyun took a deep breath, turned the knob, and went inside.

The hospital room was white, blindingly white, with a bathroom on the immediate right and a patient’s bed further in. It was not the cleanliness, but the surprising neatness in the hospital room that always made the many visitors stare, but Seunghyun ignored all of this when he saw her. Walking up to her bed, he gazed at her beautifully soft features. Placing his hand on the back of her head, he felt the place where the doctors had punctured a hole to drain fluid from her brain. Feeling a surging amount of guilt build up in his chest, he quickly retracted his hand and sat down while he covered his face with an emotionless expression.

-

An hour later, the same face still stared on. It was stone like except for the small quiver in Seunghyun’s bottom lip. Slowly, the quiver became more and more noticeable until suddenly, his face contorted into that which showed fear and grief.

“Please come back,” he whispered to the comatose girl, “I can’t live without you. I don’t know how to do anything without you. Please, please get better for me.” Tears rolled continuously down his cheeks freely as he held onto her hand, squeezing it with all his might. Yet, as he tried to control himself, they rolled down faster, and his sobs became more pronounced, until he was bawling endlessly. 

His started to grow tired, and his sobs started to decline due to fatigue. Before he knew it, he was laying on the side of the bed, fast asleep.

-

The rain poured down strongly, sounding like a drum, yet they did not seem to care. They walked hand in hand, with wet smiles on their faces.

“That girl was SUCH a stereotype! It made the movie so boring!” she exclaimed.

“Nah, you can tell that she was special. That’s why she lived in the end.” He countered.

“Is she more special than me then?”

“NO. I love YOU.”

They continued like this on the street, staring at each other without a care in the world.

Screech.

-

Seunghyun woke with a start. Feeling the dried tears on his face, he stood up weakly and went as quickly as he could to the restroom and splashed water onto his face. Leaning on the sink, he stared back at his reflection in the slightly foggy mirror. His face was the same oval with flat hair and over exaggerated eyes. Finally meeting his own eyes, he thought She will get better.  Stop doing this to yourself.

 After walking out of the restroom and to her bed, he leaned over her, closed his eyes, and gently kissed her on her forehead, lingering for a couple moments.

Seunghyun then left the room, quietly closing the door.