Reviewer’s Note

Okay, I haven’t ever reviewed one-shots before so this is my first time doing it. I do believe that one-shots and chaptered fanfics are totally different things, much like the sky and the ground. That’s why this review will be changed a bit from my usual review rubic system, there will be some things that I will be chucking out the window. 

 First thing I will be leaving out is the foreword, as a one-shot, I do believe that forewords are not necessary. There is no need to give a description of the plot or any depictions of the characters because as a one-shot, everything is already stuffed into one.  

 

The second thing I will be leaving out is the flow of the story, as a one-shot, the flow of the story is completely fast forwarded to the speed of light so when I’m reviewing this, I won’t be marking that in terms of the plot and story. 

 The last thing I’m leaving out is the characterisations, in a one shot, what we’re usually looking for isn’t how the characters develop or grow, it’s how they change. Developing and changing are both totally different things, development is a more slower and gradual thing that is also related to the flow of the story, but changing can both be slow and a fast thing. That’s why I don’t think characterisations will be needed in this review. 

 

Now, on with the review!

Title: 9.5/10

 

What an impressive title, I must admit that this title was both attractive and gripping at the same time. Remember the review I did for you last time? Remember when I said the title was suspenseful but didn’t have the attractiveness to back it up? Well this time, you’ve really did it! You’ve made both a suspenseful and attractive title. Not only does the title look simple, attractive and appealing, the meaning behind the title is both gripping and suspenseful. And please, let’s not start with the “6 words”!

The one-shot’s best friend is the title, the title is what pulls the reader, and I can’t stress this enough for every fanfic apart from a one-shot. Titles for fanfics have to be right, they have to be right in terms of attractiveness, they have to be right in terms of meaning. The attractiveness of the title is what stands out in a reader’s eyes and followed with a good meaning, this pulls the reader into reading the story. Both have to work in harmony to get the best success in views.

If I was a random reader reading down a random list of fanfics, your title will definitely stand out. It’s not long and complicated and the meaning is simple and conveys the plot of the story in a straightforward manner. I love the fact that your title is specific in terms of the meaning, it’s not “words that hurt”, it’s “6 words that hurt”. There is a definite difference between these two titles, the first one may sound attractive and still seem suspenseful but in no way will it compare with the second one.

“6 words that hurt” really packs a punch, the “6 words” is what makes the title a true climatic suspense. It’s complicated in that the title isn’t “3 words that hurt” because then the meaning will totally be given away, and plus that title is a total gimmick. Your title is different, we will forever be stranded in an island wondering what those “6 words” are unless we read it to find it out. And that is the WHOLE purpose of titles, you make it grab their attention into reading the story.

Your title, no matter how epic and beautiful it sounds and means, is still not perfect. In terms of suspense, it’s got one, a lot of it in fact, one that could be buzzing in your head for the entire day until you find the answer. But it’s not the perfect suspenseful title, because one can guess instantly that your story is leaning towards the dark/angst side. And in a way, it sort of spills a bit of the reader’s overall impression for the conclusion of your story.

Yes, the title is obvious in stating the genre of its own plot but hey, it’s still a kickass one.

 

 

Poster: 8.5/10

 

Well, I must say that this title was a lot more appealing in terms of editing, font and arrangement of the pictures. Yes, I have to admit, the colours were still appealing even though it was black, LOL. The poster told me all there was to tell me of the plot, it was dark/angst/tragedy. Black is the colour of death, revenge, grief, tragedy and the whole effect of fading to the blackness of the poster also symbolises it. So looking at the colours of the poster already made me conclude to a simple point, a tragedy, something tragic is going to happy, maybe not tragic but anywhere that lies on the point of angst.

I do like the fact that it is the words of the title that truly stands out in the poster, it looks like an engraving and I could see instantly that these “6 words” must really mean something or be of major impact. In a way, it also looks like those olden day handwriting, subtle and beautiful but mixing in with the engraving like font and the piercing colours of the font, I could tell that these words were going to hit me with major impact.

 

Hmm… the whole arrangement of the pictures was quite interesting. When I looked at the poster, the guy stood out, he was the first thing I saw when looking at the poster. So this also sent a clear message to me, the one-shot was going to be either centred about him or on him. I like the whole mood of the poster, even though I know it’s not a good one, but in a way the mood of the two characters in the poster was also quite confusing. It was quite blank and eerie, nothing that suggested of hate, violence or death, it looked very peaceful but also oddly sad.

 

One thing I totally don’t get is what the lily has anything to do with the poster, does it even belong there? When I saw it, I was quite bothered with the fact that it was the one thing that truly disappointed the overall appearance of the poster. The flower looked very random and misplaced, I know it’s something that helps make the title look more appealing but a better choice of pictures could be used. The flower isn’t bad, it was just disappointing in that it totally didn’t fit with the mood of the poster. I did however like the colour of it in that it wasn’t strong enough to grab the attention off the other more important aspects of your poster.

 

(Note from reviewer: I just finished reading it, and I’m sorry about my comment before, the flower DID have something to do with the story. But in a way, I still don’t think that this was the better choice to put in the poster, it wasn’t a very powerful theme in the story. What could have been better was maybe a torn paper or a crumpled paper, because THAT would really have left an impact)

 

 

Originality/Creativity: 15.5/20

 

This was a tragic cliché, I mean it in a good way and a bad way. In terms of originality, this story lacked uniqueness that would make it stand out from the many other stories of the same genre. I sadly have to say that this one-shot did however lack more originality then the little originality it had. The uniqueness that helped this story stand up was the “6 words” which was the main driving force of the plot. We were started off with the 6 words and we were ended with the 6 words. Yes, this part of the story was truly unique in a way and also everything centred on it, but the tragedy of the scenes and the whole tragic scene itself (the car crash) wasn’t leaning much to a creative and original side.

 

Creativity wise, your story had it, with the title, the whole theme of the story, the tragedy and everything in between. What the story lacked was the originality that helped it stand apart from the many other tragic one-shots in the world. But I must say, even though the plot wasn’t a total original, it was driven by the whole ploy of the “6 words” and that was a true classic in terms of angst.

 

 

Plot: 19/20

 

God, this plot was interesting, the whole theme of the story that the plot centred on was gripping and compelling. It was gripping because the 6 words were never revealed until the end, the of the one-shot, the car crash also left me with the nerve-wracking anticipation as I wondered if he was going to say those 6 words before dying. What started off as a subtle but slowly fading relationship between a girl and a boy suddenly, oh so suddenly, ended in a tragedy.

 

And it’s an even more bigger of a tragedy because it wasn’t because of the result of a misunderstanding, it wasn’t the result of trying to commit suicide, it wasn’t even the result of JongHoon recklessly driving the car after hearing those words of breaking up. What made it an epic tragedy was that they were both innocent and pure, JongHoon wasn’t the one who collided with a car. Another car collided into his, JongHoon was just too swelled up with broken emotions to act upon reflex of swerving to dodge the colliding car.

 

It was a tragedy for MiRoo for she was also the person who would suffer this whole loss of a very close person and live with it for the rest of her life. And what made it worse was the impression that MiRoo would blame herself for killing JongHoon, and this blame will never be recovered because JongHoon is dead. He’s dead and will never be able to tell her that he wasn’t the one to eventually bring the death of himself and also damage MiRoo into a million pieces.

 

A true tragedy not only damages the character’s heart in the most unexplainable way, but will also damage the reader’s heart too. This was such a beautiful tragedy, and I’m not talking about the paper, that would come second in terms of power of impact. What impacted me the most was the death of JongHoon, how he was killed and most importantly WHY he was killed. He wasn’t blinded by his own emotions, he wasn’t the person to accidentally swerve his own car to the next road path, he was killed because ANOTHER car had collided INTO his.

 

JongHoon didn’t do anything but drive properly, his emotions were strong and clear, maybe he knew that if his emotions were going to take over him, his reckless driving will not only kill himself but the one girl he loves so much. Of course, if you had written this differently and I mean that because of MiRoo’s words of breakup, his emotions start to take over him and cause HIM to collide into another car.

That would NOT be a tragedy, that would be total selfishness and arrogance. That would NOT be love, because if this was true love, he wouldn’t let his emotions get in the way of him. Love is very powerful, yes, it can hurt you enough to make you crazy things, but JongHoon isn’t those type of people. He’s strong and loves MiRoo very very dearly, that is why he doesn’t do anything crazy because he knows that even if MiRoo doesn’t love him anymore, he will still continue to love her back.

 

Oh god, I can’t believe I’m getting teary writing this. I’m going to stop because I written like a whole page on this category. God, epic stuff, seriously. Epic tragedy, epic plot, epic use of characterisation.

 

 

Grammar/ Punctuation/Vocabulary/Spelling: 20/20

 

(I am just going to copy and paste the bit from the old review, because I’m just lazy)

 

Okay, were you drunk when you said that you were weak in grammar and spelling?

 

No, seriously?

 

Well let me be serious here, your grammar and spelling and everything about English in your story were absolutely PERFECT. I could see instantly that you were very skilled in English by the descriptions that you written in your chapters, they were complex and deep.

 

Your grammar was perfect, there was no use of past tense when the sentence was situated in a present tense format. There were no sentences that screamed out SENSE-MAKE-DON’T-I! (Read it backwards to get the picture) And believe me I’ve seen plenty of them in my life.

 

Your punctuation and vocabulary were all spot on.

 

Nothing else to say… everything was perfect, couldn’t find any mistakes at all.

 

 

Writing Style: 18.5/20

 

I am really amazed at the level of your writing, it really stuns me how intriguing and beautifully sophisticated it really is. You are probably one of the only authors I’ve seen around here that is this fluent with their English and can write with such depth and sophistication. I like how you differentiate your writing styles between stories, I mean you certainly used a lot of description in your other fic but for this, it is simple and compelling. I don’t know what else to say about your writing style… there’s really nothing to criticize about your writing, it’s beautiful and almost written effortlessly. I do however should point out that one-shots do need a fair bit of description, don’t worry it’s not needed, but something so big like death should really need a description to describe her own feelings towards this whole tragedy.

 

Total: 91/100

 

Overall Impression

 

In my opinion, one-shots are extremely hard to write let alone get a mark this high. For a good one-shot, it needs the plot to really make it stand out, it needs the characters to motivate the plot and reader but most of all, it needs to fit everything, cram it all into one chapter. Everything as in the story, the theme, the plot, everything has to end in this chapter. 

 

A one-shot is like one big fanfic cut up into so many pieces until ONE piece out of all those hundreds of pieces are picked out. That’s why writing one-shots is a risk, there’s a risk that it may fail in terms of its plot and theme, there’s a risk that things may still be left unanswered, there’s a risk that some bits won’t make sense, there’s a risk that the ending is too dull. One-shots are quite a hard one to take on, it may look simple, but really it is quite hard trying to fit everything into that one chapter. You’ve done an epic job on this one-shot, I cried my way through this, what a tragedy.

Even Romeo & Juliet might need to take some lessons from this simple yet powerful one-shot.