7 years ago-high school, senior year

“What are you thinking??”Mr. Do slaps kyungsoo on the cheek.

“I’m sorry appa, I’m sorry” kyungsoo is crying now while holding his red cheek.

Earlier that day, kyungsoo left his home for having a date with jongin secretly, but he accidentally forgot to bring his phone with him. Unfortunately kyungsoo’s father came to his room for getting something and he heard kyungsoo’s phone ringing. He took kyungsoo’s phone and read the new message. He was so shocked, it was from someone which kyungsoo save it as ‘my lovely boyfriend <3’. Then Mr. Do looked through kyungsoo’s gallery and found lots of his photo with a handsome boy hugging and even kissing. He was so angry, he was fuming, he told this to his wife and kyungsoo’s mother kept silent, didn’t dare to say anything. Then kyungsoo got back home.

“Who is he??? Explain this Do kyungsoo!!!”

Kyungsoo was so afraid. He never saw his father so angry like this. He once was angry back then when he forbid kyungsoo to be a gay but he wasn’t angry like this. “He...he... he is my boyfriend, appa.” Kyungsoo said with a very low voice.

“Kyungsoo!! How dare you!! I told you before, stop being a gay! And look what you’re doing now! How dare you doing this to your parents!” Mr. Do shouted loudly at him.

“I’m sorry appa, I love him so much. I’m trying to change myself, but I can’t. Besides, he changes me become someone better appa. Please forgive me and let me be with him” kyungsoo begged, tears started falling in his cheeks.

“No! I’ll never accept him and you! Breaks up with him now, or leave this house! Choose now!” his father forced him to choose. Mrs.Do just stand still, couldn’t do anything, afraid if she started to talk it will make the situation becoming worse.

“I’m sorry appa,umma. I love both of you, but i love him so much. I want to be with him forever. If you can’t accept us, then i prefer leaving” kyungsoo said.

When kyungsoo started to pack his thing, he heard some ‘bum’ sound and his mother shouting and crying. He rushed then he saw his appa already fainted. He was shocked and crying more hardly. They called the ambulance and rushed Mr. Do to the hospital. Kyungsoo was terrified because of him, his father faint. Then his mother told him, that actually his father is sick. Mr. Do has a heart disease and they kept it secretly from kyungsoo, their only one precious son. They didn’t want kyungsoo to be sad so they always went to the hospital secretly without kyungsoo’s knowing. Mrs. Do said that it’s a rare disease and the doctor once said that he needs medical help in America, but still it didn’t guarantee that he would survive. Mrs. Do also told kyungsoo that they planned to tell kyungsoo that all of them will move to America after kyungsoo’s graduation, which is next week.

Kyungsoo hardly processed all this. He felt so cruel toward his parents. He cried so hard knowing all this fact, and where he was all this time? Being selfish? He loved Jongin, yes, he loved him damn much. But this news about his father, who was dying but never told his son because he’s afraid kyungsoo will be sad, is so heartbreaking. Kyungsoo felt really guilty. After long thinking, he decided to follow his father request, he would leave Jongin if it made him happy. Because he couldn’t give anything beside that, that’s the only thing his father requested to him though. He must stopped being a rebellious son and not let down his parents anymore. He agreed to move with them to America and continued his study there. Now he prepared to leave Jongin physically and mentally.

On graduation day

“Jongin, i need to talk to you” Kyungsoo asked jongin to follow him. They went to a classroom to talk personally, moving away from the crowd.

“What is it babe? Where are you all this days? I hardly could contact you, I miss you so much babysoo” Jongin pouted and hold kyungsoo waist to drew him closer to him then jongin hugged kyungsoo tightly.

Kyungsoo started to tear up. How he love being hugged by Jongin, being missed by him, breathing jongin’s scent. How could he leave him if he was the only person kyungsoo wants in this world? But kyungsoo couldn’t change his mind, he had to leave.

“Jongin,” kyungsoo released himself from Jongin’s hug and looked straight to Jongin eyes. Looking tears falling at kyungsoo’s cheek, jongin wiped it right away and suddenly he felt scared. “Why you are like this babe? What happened? What do you want to tell me?” Jongin asked him softly.

“Jongin, I need you to listen to my words. Don’t talk before i finish everything that i want to tell you, understand?” Jongin nodded, than kyungsoo continued “Jongin, you know how much i love you, right? You know how much I need you to be in my life forever, right? Do you remember, that all this time, we always said it’s okay even if everyone against us, that we will be fine by having each other and holding into each other commitment? Do you remember our promises, to keep our relationship forever? Here I am, I want to apologize because i will break our promises. My parents, know about our relationship a week ago. My father really against us. That time, I was ready to leave them because my love for you is so strong, it blinds me. But then, my father fainted because all this time he has a heart disease which is hardly cureable, and he is dying. Knowing this, I couldn’t leave them Jongin, I couldn’t. They only had me as their son, i couldn’t leave them and just wish maybe someday they will accept us and my relationship with them will get better again. I couldn’t because anytime, my father could die Jongin! So, i have decided moving with them to America this night, right after our graduation, and continue my study there while seeking for medical help. I want you to let me go. I want you to stop loving me and move on, find someone who’s better than me, I’m sorry i should leave you. I’m sorry,” kyungsoo sobs.

Jongin felt his world crushed into pieces. He hardly believed all that words coming out from kyungsoo’s mouth. He froze, his brain couldn’t process anything. Trembled, he said “Leaving? You? You’re breaking up with me? You will go to America? You? Is this a joke? This is definitely a joke, right? Tell me! It’s only a joke, right???” Jongin now was shaking kyungsoo hard.

“No jongin...No...It’s not a joke. We can’t be together, i’ll be leaving, and you should forget me” Kyungsoo sobs.

“LIAR! You shouldn’t joke with me like this! You can’t leave me kyungsoo, you can’t! I know you love me as much as I love you!” Jongin then pushed kyungsoo hard on the wall and kissed him roughly. Kyungsoo tried to escape but Jongin was so strong and he held kyungsoo’s hand and trapped him so he couldn’t move. Kyungsoo still crying, he felt this kiss was different. Even Jongin kissed him hard, this kiss full with desperation, he could sense how Jongin really wanted him to stay. He replied the kiss passionately, kyungsoo really never wanted to leave Jongin, he tried to let him know through the kiss. Then Jongin stop kissing him “You love me! You still love me, right? I feel your feelings from the kiss! Then why you decided to leave me kyungsoo? Why??” Jongin screamed at kyungsoo.

“Because I have to, Jongin! I have to! You think I want it? No! I love you with all my heart, but I can’t! I can’t leave my parent when i know my father is dying! They only have me, I’m their only son” kyungsoo replied desperately

“And I only have you kyungsoo! I only have you! You are my strength, you are my light, you are my world! How can I live after you leave me? Even now I hardly remember how could I survive all this time before knowing you” Jongin fell to the floor, he was crying so hard, he couldn’t contain his tears anymore. Kyungsoo fell silent. His sob becoming harder this time, even it hurted both of them, he still had to do this.

“I’m sorry Jongin, I’m sorry. I hope you could forget me and don’t try to find me Jongin. I love you, so much, and sorry for doing this. I wish you well, Jongin.” Then kyungsoo left while Jongin still sobbing in his place, he couldn’t move.

Later that night, kyungsoo moved with his parents. Jongin tried to stop him but he was too late, kyungsoo has already left. Jongin kept trying to contact kyungsoo but he couldn’t, kyungsoo is gone without traces, no one knew where he was. Jongin felt so desperate but he still tried to wait for him until he couldn’t.

After separated from jongin and stayed in America, kyungsoo changed. He was no longer kyungsoo who love to smile and so cheerful. His parents often hear him sobbing secretly, and mumbling Jongin’s name in his sleep. Kyungsoo’s father couldn’t stand seeing his son so miserable like this, when he felt he didn’t have much time to live anymore. Before his leaving, he wanted his son smiling happy beside him. So Mr. Do told kyungsoo that he would accept kyungsoo for who he is, he accept kyungsoo being a gay and letting him back to jongin, if it could make kyungsoo become his cheerful son like he used to be. Kyungsoo felt so happy to hear that , but he decided he’ll accompany him first in America before searching for Jongin later because he knew his father's time isn't long anymore, the doctor said that. Then not long after that, his father passed away. Kyungsoo felt so thankful to their parents, specially his father for letting him chasing his love and now he started to looking for Jongin. He tried to contact him after all this time, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t find him. He tried to chase him back to Seoul, going to his home, but Jongin wasn’t there, his neighbour said Jongin had already moved to Tokyo after his parents divorced. Kyungsoo felt so desperate, felt so guilty for not being there to accompany Jongin through his tough time. Kyungsoo then went back to America, because his mother need him, specially after his father's death. He’s asking fate why it had to be so cruel to him, to Jongin, to their relatioship. Even he always hoped he would find Jongin someday, he started to accept the reality and continued his life, while also hoping Jongin did the same. And he did, Jongin also continued his life, even now in fact he tried to move on faster than kyungsoo by proposing Luhan.

Has fate ever feels sorry for us? Or he laughs at us now?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Double update everyone!!!!! ^.^ So how was it? So heartbreaking right *sobs* Well guys, I'm sorry because this update will be my last update and I won't update until new year comes because I'm going to Europe for my vacation hehehe... Would you please waiting for me? ^.^ Please leave a comment, I would love to read it! See you next year and happy new year everyone!!!!!! >.<