The day started off normally. Jonghyun, as usual, woke up the earliest out of the four in the entire house at the ungodly hour of 5:30 a.m. He stretched and smiled as happily as ever, despite the sun not even having come up from below the horizon just yet. Everything was perfect. He hummed happily as he took his shower, dressed in freshly laundered clothes, and prepared his coffee for the day. Everything was just fine…until he gasped as he opened the fridge. Scanner mode had activated. Down two shelves, approximately 50 centimetres from the left and 18 back, the evident empty square space was glowing red.

The crime had been done.

“Alright,” Jonghyun began his interrogation. He was wearing a long trench coat as well as the basic old-fashioned hat as well as a toy smoking pipe hanging from his lips. If the world ever wanted to know how a Korean, younger version of Sherlock Holmes looked like, well this was their chance. Fear the terror. “The two of you are the only possible suspects. So we can do this the easy way…or the hard way.”

The two women, BoA and Jieun, still dressed in their loosely fitting clothes yawned as they looked dryly at the man in front of them.

“What in the world are you –yawn- talking about, Jonghyun?”

“We’ll begin with you, missy.” His face glowered as he stared intensely at her. “Where were you between the hours of 16:00 and 23:00 on the eve of 14 January 2013!”

“… -yawn- You mean yesterday? I was out working and had to work extra hours because someone couldn’t make their shift.”

“Likely story.”

“Why in the world are you even talking like tha-”

“AND YOU!” He abruptly interjected, pointing at the younger woman who was now wide-awake from the exclamation. “WHERE WERE YOU DURING THOSE HOURS, HUH?!”

“I was-”

“Oh no. I’ll TELL you where you were! COULD IT BE THAT DURING THOSE HOURS, YOU WERE SCHEMING SOMETHING SO EVIL, YET SO PROFOUND THAT YOU THINK OTHERS WOULDN’T NOTICE?! NICE TRY, MISSY, BUT I CAN TELL YOU’RE THE CULPRIT HERE. CONFESS, YOU-”

“I was busy cleaning the living room… You know how much dust accumulates in a month?”

“Or were you?” Jonghyun sneered.

“Uh…I was.”

“WHY ARE WE EVEN HERE-”

“I’LL DO THE TALKING HERE!” he interrupted BoA once more. “MAYBE IT WAS YOU! Working extra hours. HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT YOU DIDN’T SECRETLY COME HOME EARLY, AND SNUCK TO THE KITCHEN AND-”

“JONGHYUN!” she shouted. “I DID COME HOME LATE! YOU’RE THE ONE THAT OPENED THE DOOR FOR ME!”

Jonghyun paused, clearly remembering the scene, but refused to give in.

“If I remember correctly, that was approximately at 10:43. YOU HAD 17 MINUTES OF LENIENCY! PERHAPS IT WAS YOU THEN!”

“TO DO WHAT?!”

Jonghyun’s eyes darted in between the woman, the younger one with a slightly surprised look, but still tired, and the older, now simply fuming. No literally, you could see the smoke coming out of her ears and . Either they’re just really good actresses…or I’m missing something. He turned around to find something…anything out of place when his eyes landed on the sink…or rather, what was in it. It was gleaming with intent as he approached it…at least as much as it could gleam under the limited fluorescent lighting of the kitchen hindered by his shadow. A stain? Yes, it was a stain, of lactose residue. He glared at the two women again, the older one mimicking his look.

“What?”

“What’s the width of your mouth?”

“WHAT THE HELL, JONGHYUN?!”

“That sounds…so wrong…when thought of that way…”

The two briefly paused to look at the younger girl, almost gaping at what she was implying.

“Moving on.” Jonghyun regained composure. “WHAT’S THE WIDTH OF YOUR MOUTH, DAMN IT! DO I NEED TO GET MY YOSHI RULER?!”

“You have a Yoshi ruler, oppa?”

“I DO! It’s so cute, and green with the eyes on one end andHEY! BACK ON TOPIC!” He closed in on BoA. “What. Is your mouth’s. Width?”

She glared back at him. “Back off, dino baby.”

“Or. What?”

BoA closed in as well, staring right into his eyes. “Lest you want to measure my mouth’s width off your neck.”

“Off my neOWWWWWWWWWWWW!”

Jonghyun wasn’t even able to ask what she was referring to before the older woman had bitten into his neck with all her might, as if some female vampire trying to drain his precious blood away. From a distance, one could observe a female Asian vampire away Sherlock Holmes’s precious life force as another, younger, Asian woman simply looked at the two of them with pure boredom, yawning every few seconds.

“OWWWWWWWWWW!” Jonghyun wailed one last time before finally releasing himself from the grasp of the woman with the serpent inspired name. He also did a mental note in the midst of his wailing as he got a glance of the teeth markings that ’s width seemed a tad bit too small to be the culprit, but that would be for later.

“GET BACK HERE DAMN SHERLOCKIAN DINOSAUR!”

“AAAAAAH!”

Jieun was still yawning constantly as she found the two jumping on top of the counters and fridge of the kitchen periphery, the younger man trying his best to outrun the serpent woman. It took another thirty seconds or so before she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking behind her, she found a just as sleepy looking Donghae rubbing his eyes, probably having been woken up due to the constant roars and girly screams.

“Jieun -yawn­- What are they doing?”

“Interrogation.”

Donghae nodded. “They’re doing it wrong though.”

“I know.” She replied.

“JUST ADMIT IT, NOONAAAAAAA!”

“ADMIT WHAT, DAMN IT!”

“THAT YOU ATE MY COOKIE!”

“Eh?” Donghae questioned, yawning. “You mean that cookie in the fridge yesterday?”

“YEAH, HYUNG! NOONA WON’T ADMIT-”

“I ate it.” Donghae yawned again. “Sorry.”

The room fell silent as Jieun tried to contain her laughter when see saw the two suddenly gape at the older man, their fists suddenly shaking.

“You…ate…my cookie…” Jonghyun sneered.

“You’re…the reason…I had to put up…with this?”

“Jieun?” Donghae questioned. “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

“Yep.”

“Kay. Just checking.”

Three…two…one…

Donghae sprinted out the doorway.

“YAAAAAAAAH! GET BACK HERE, HYUNG!”

“YOU BASTARD, WAIT TIL I GET MY DAMN HANDS ON YOU AND KILL YOUR REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS!”