don't let the sun go down on me

Over the years they'll sit in a porch like this one, says Sungmin sometime late after the moon has shown up on the gloomy sky, and they'll remember the day they've first met- right there on the peak of mount Kilimanjaro, in that hazy day of March when Kyuhyun's eyes were promising him so much. Back then when they've both chosen the path that takes to the right instead the one to the left like Sungmin has always taken before. When they were young and dreamy and there was nothing that could stop their strange desire of belonging to the entire Universe.

At first Kyuhyun gives off a smile, slumped in a chair on the other side of the veranda. He then leans his head against the wooden board and throws his legs over the small table in front of him, inspecting carefully the dried mud on his shoes, "You look like you're going to cry."

Sungmin glares at him from under his bangs. He doesn't know why, but he feels like Kyuhyun doesn't understand the things the way he does,even though they're making circles around the same small, red dot, running from here to there and reaching for each other. He takes in a big breath of air. 

"You were late last night," Sungmin says," I've been worried for you. I thought they've caught you when I remembered that you have problems with the coordination in Egipt. Maybe we should buy some maps."

"And do what with them? Don't be silly, hyung," Kyuhyun assures him, tilting his head a little to his left, eyes fixed on the sneakers, "What are we supposed to do with some maps when we can go everywhere we want? So what if we miss the destination from time to time?"

"But we should," Sungmin insists, bending to tie the laces of a shoe, " Or at least give me your phone number. It's impossible for me to save your if I don't even know in what hole I can find you."

"Then don't," Kyuhyun tells him while shaking off the tenssion in his shoulders, and he gets up. "I've never asked you to save my , hyung."

The next Sungmin knows is that a breeze of cold wind hits him in his face and Kyuhyun is gone. A glass falls on the wooden floor and it breaks before Sungmin can react.

The lights go on upstairs. " Sungmin? Why aren't you in bed at this hour?"

Scratching his forehead, Sungmin sighs. "Five minutes, grandma," and he props his hands on the chair's handles to sit up.

It takes a second to realize how the cold wind is back again and before Sungmin can register the pale face filling up his sight, he stumbles and he's pushed back on his seat by two warm lips pressing against his own.

"Gotcha," says Kyuhyun, quickly taking steps back and jumping over the hedge the moment Sungmin sits up again. He feels how warmth envelopes his entire body from head to toe, swears his heart will make a hole through his chest if it continues racing like this but Kyuhyun doesn't seem to care. He just laughs, and Sungmin thinks he's never been angrier. 

His eyebrows furrow," You'll pay for this one, Cho! You hear me?" he screams when Kyuhyun turns for one last time to him. A strange light plays on his face, making his eyes look deeper, darker, their texture thicker and Sungmin thinks to himself that he's never seen someone more beautiful than Kyuhyun. Time stops for a bare second, just enough for Kyuhyun to wave a short goodbye and disperse in the blindness of the night like he always does. Not that it would matter because the next morning he would force a smile in Sungmin's eyes and make him feel like he stares at the sun when he's actually looking at a shadow, but it's not good to lay in a bed for hours thinking about a stupid kiss. 

Boys are stupid, Sungmin concludes, including himself in the category as well. He blinks and when he opens his eyes again, he's in his bed. Kyuhyun doesn't call him that night, but the impression of chapped lips on his stays.

*

In mid June, Sungmin finds himself staring at the way grey clouds drift above Rome, how they looks so close to him, so close that if he'd stretch his fingers a little, a little more, he'd--

"Take it easier, hyung," says Kyuhyun, grabbing him by the hem of his jacket and pulling him backwards, "We don't want you to lose your head now, do we?" and Sungmin's back burns when Kyuhyun drags him a bit on the small, sharp rocks. He wonders why is there sand on the rooftop of a cathedral. 

"Well thank you very much for ripping the skin off my bones," Sungmin mutters at the clump of brown hair hiding the sun.

"You're dissapointed I haven't let you die?" One of Kyuhyun's eyebrows go upwards while the other one falls awkwardly close to his eye, " A thank you would be more welcomed actually."

"Well, thank you but no, thank you."

Kyuhyun laughs at him the moment he drops on his knees and brings Sungmin's head and the upper part of his body on his thighs. He lets his arms to fall around Sungmin's chest, and from what Sungmin sees, he almost looks like he's hugging him.

"Did you see those girls staring at you when we were in Paris?" Sungmin asks him, praying that the note of jealousy in his voice won't be heard by Kyuhyun.

"What about them?"

Sungmin shrugs; there's nothing important about them, it's just that this city is too big, the sky too blue, and it makes Sungmin say stupid things. Something like, "What would Sooyoung say if she knew how you flirt with everybody you meet?"

"That's just your imagination."

When he looks up at Kyuhyun and catches the way Kyuhyun looks back at him, his heart skips a beat. Kyuhyun blows some air over his face to dry a little the small drops of sweat forming on his forehead but Sungmin turns his head away and slaps his hand after brushing his bangs on the left side.

"And what would you care anyway?"

"I don't."

"Then why do you ask?"

"Because."

"Nobody asks questions just because."

Sungmin lifts his sight again and meets Kyuhyun's soft gaze halfway, "I guess I'm just being dramatic," he whispers," Sooyoung is a good friend. I guess I just don't want to see her hurt, that's all."

Kyuhyun laughs and shoves Sungmin off in the dust, "You're an idiot" is all Kyuhyun says before throwing himself over the edge of the roof. The last Sungmin sees is the way Kyuhyun's jacket flies in the air, the way Kyuhyun covers his face so that Sungmin won't see just how red his eyes are.

*

One night, Kyuhyun breaks the window of Sungmin's room but the noise is not loud enough to wake up his grandmother. A dog barks somewhere far in the neighborhood. Sungmin turns on his left and bumps his nose into Kyuhyun's.

He opens his eyes slowly, trying to make his mind to perceive this image that forms in front of him. He blends the pieces easily, a circle here, another one there, a small nose right in the middle. At first, he thinks he dreams.

"Do you think your grandma will make me pay for the window?"

He recognizes the figure after the plumpness of his lips. "If she finds you here, she kills you," he mutters, turning on the other side.

Still, Kyuhyun isn't showing himself willing to go; he looks more like he'd like to stay there for the entire night, judging by the way his arms find their way around Sungmin's stomach, and they stay. Kyuhyun's breath is warm on his neck, it tickles and Sungmin would like him to stop.

"What do you want?"

"Come with me in Paris."

"For?"

"Let's walk."

Lazily, he opens his eyes and stretches his hand for the phone that lays on the bedside. "It's two in the morning, Kyuhyun. I don't feel like walking the streets of Paris at two in the morning."

"Then, let's just walk around the neighborhood," says Kyuhyun, moving so close that half of Sungmin's pillow is taken by him.

Sungmin slips his fingers under the blanket and pushes one of Kyuhyun's hands away, " Why did you break the window anyway? Couldn't you just..." but Kyuhyun puts it back and pinches on his skin a little, makes Sungmin bite his lower lip when he presses his chest against his back, when he feels his heart drumming against his spine.

Sungmin takes the hand and throws it away again, this time making sure that Kyuhyun won't put it back, "Get out and let me sleep." 

"Hyung," Kyuhyun begs, voice low and hoarse, "Can I sleep here tonight?" and it breaks Sungmin's heart a little when he senses exhaustion in the last letters. He turns around and realizes that Kyuhyun has been crying all this time. He sighs and leans closer, taking his head between his arms and bumping his forehead against Kyuhyun's.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, just..." Kyuhyun shifts, his left hip dipping deeper into the mattress, "I think they're after Sooyoung," and Sungmin has an odd feeling like Kyuhyun is frightened for something else and not because of Sooyoung because it's impossible for them to find Sooyoung. He himself has made sure there were no traces behind them, that the hunters's gates have all been locked for good.

"Then maybe we should stop for a while."

"Stop what?" Kyuhyun asks, looking at Sungmin.

"Stop seeing each other for a while," and Kyuhyun frowns before pressing his hands against Sungmin's chest and pushing himself up.

Sungmin props in an elbow, "If they're after someone, then that someone is me."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Kyuhyun says, letting his head to fall in his hands. "You don't-- you..."

Sungmin is awake enough to know what he's talking about," If you care about her, we'll stop seeing for a while, okay? Stop acting like a fool. You won't die If you don't see me for a week."

He sighs, stretching his hand to caress the small of Kyuhyun's back. He slips his hand under the fabric of his blouse and the firm skin is cold. Sungmin wouldn't dare to speak anymore. He does though.

"Is not about her, is it?"

Kyuhyun shakes his head. Sungmin's throat closes up and his heart falls in from his chest, loses somewhere between the warm sheets and Kyuhyun's watery eyes.