As usual Taeyeon is very busy with her work. New projects are in again. Her phone rings.

“Yeonie, please come down to the hospital now” her brother calm voice scares her.

“Ok”

Taeyeon put down the receiver, grab her stuff and rush out of her office.

As Taeyeon approaching her father’s ward, she can see doctors and nurses running in and out of the ward. She sees her brother and mum outside the ward waiting.

“What’s wrong?” Taeyeon ask her brother.

“Dad’s system is giving way Yeonie” her brother is unusually calm. She can see her mum controlling herself not to cry. Taeyeon couldn’t think at all.

After the commotion, the doctor approaches them.

“I’m sorry, Mr Kim system couldn’t function anymore and he is brain dead, we try everything we could do. I’m sorry.” the doctor puts her hand around Taeyeon’s mum as Mrs Kim couldn’t control her tears anymore.

Taeyeon can’t believe what the doctor just said. She can’t hear her brother talking to her; she can’t hear her mum’s crying.

She enters her father’s ward.

“Daddy….. Daddy” She touches her dad’s hand

“Please wake up daddy” Taeyeon kneels down.

“Daddy stops all this joke and wake up please” she her father’s hair.

There are no tears from Taeyeon, she couldn’t cry even though she is breaking inside.

After the funeral, Taeyeon couldn’t continue to work. She leaves everything to her assistants. She trusted them to handle the company. She locks herself in her house for months refusing to go out. She will just order take outs and if anything needed her signatures, her staffs will bring to her house and let her sign. Even her mum or brother couldn’t talk her out. They just let her mourn in her own way.

Everyday she will just watch the videos her father used to take during their family outings.

There are still no tears.

She will look at all the pictures.

There are still no tears.

One day, as she looks through the DVDs to watch the family videos again. She comes across one DVD that is hidden in between some DVDs.

She sits in front of the TV when she uses her remote to press start.

Taeyeon remembers this place. It’s their favourite beach. This was way back when she is only 18.

The video is inverted. Both her dad and her voice can be heard.

Daddy has a habit of leaving the cam on. She gives a weak smile looking at the TV.

“Daddy, I wonder what it’s like when a person died. I mean do they go to heaven?”

“Yes Yeonie”

“If I’m dead dad, will you please throw my ashes into the sea ok” Taeyoen remembers why this conversation came up. She just got her bike and her mum always nags at her for riding a bike, telling her it’s dangerous.

“Yeonie stop talking nonsense. But ok” she can hear her dad laughing. They can talk about everything.

“And if I’m dead Yeonie, please throw my ashes into the sea too ok?”

“Ok daddy, don’t forget to write that in your will” Taeyeon can hear her own dorky laugh.

Her dad had the same dorky laugh too.

Taeyeon finally cried. She lets out all the emotions she suppresses throughout the months.

She found herself sleeping on the floor with the blue screen lighting up her living room. She doesn’t know when she stops crying.

When she pushes herself up, she can still feel her cheeks are wet.

Taeyeon makes a decision that night.