Soohyun sighed, dropping his head into his hands. Sometimes he felt that being the leader wasn’t worth the trouble. It was late night after dance practice, and he had finally dismissed his bandmates after it became painfully clear that they weren’t listening to him anyway. Dongho was being downright obtuse, the way he got sometimes. The way he slumped over, eyes glazed, as Soohyun spoke was not confidence-inspiring. Kevin and Eli kept whispering and poking each other, and Kiseop was clearly torn between being good and joining in on the mischief. Jaeseop did a fairly good job paying attention, comparatively, but he kept glancing at Kevin, his mind clearly done thinking about choreography for the night. The only person that had resisted distractions entirely was Hoon. Soohyun’s eyes had kept being drawn back to his serious face.

Soohyun hadn’t been the leader for long, and some times were harder than others, trying to make the other members listen to him. The guys who had always been in U-KISS with him could be particularly difficult. At least the two new members treated him with more respect while he got his bearings in his new role.

He’d been surprised when management had offered him the position. Can they really not do any better than me?  he had thought, somewhat incredulous. Maybe management thought he was most responsible of the bunch, just going off the amount of time he spent practicing and working out. But did they seriously not realize that he had to do that, just to keep up with the others? He had to work hard, to pay management back for the opportunity they’d given him when they selected him to join U-KISS.

Should they really have made me the leader?  he reflected glumly, sitting on the wooden floor, leaning up against the wall-length mirror tiredly. It was late, he was exhausted, and for a minute he just wanted to let go of his determination and wallow in self-pity. He leaned his head back against the wall. I can’t do this.

“Soohyun?” came a voice from the doorway, and he snapped his head up to see Hoon standing there, peering at him. “Are you coming?

“Yeah,” Soohyun answered quickly, forcing his voice to sound cheerful.

He jumped up, wincing a bit from his sore muscles, which had stiffened during the break after so much exercise. He pushed back the self-indulgent misery. He’d get through this challenge. He knew he would. He’d already overcome so much.

He glanced at Hoon, who gave him a little smile, and the two walked out together. Soohyun thought back to the younger’s unwavering attention, the pair of eyes fixed on him while the rest of the group clearly just wanted to leave. And here was Hoon again, coming back for him when he had thought the group had forgotten about him. The corners of his mouth went up a little. It was encouraging to know that someone cared about him, anyway.

Hoon melded into the group without a hitch. He was friendly and funny and just a little awkward, making him easy to get along with and fun to tease. It felt to Soohyun that he’d been with the group for a long time; the way he’d effortlessly skinship with the rest of them, the way he picked up dancing even though he’d had no formal training, the way he instantly became a main vocalist in their songs.

At first, Soohyun was just happy that the new guy fit in. Soohyun was an outgoing person; he had no problem becoming friends with Hoon and Jaeseop alike. There was a different feel to the group, to be certain, but slowly he felt the hole left by Kibum and Alexander’s departure healing.

As time went by, he steadily gained a close friendship with Hoon. Soohyun had been with the others longer, but Hoon just got to him, somehow, in a way that no one else really ever had. He was just always there, always supportive and positive. Or if not always, then at least usually. There were always ups and downs that came with seeing someone every single day for months on end. But on the whole, Hoon was a wonderful new friend. He made Soohyun feel light and cheerful, which was something particularly valuable in his high-stress life.

As the two grew closer, Soohyun found that Hoon could be a bit clingy sometimes. He might catch his arm when they crossed icy pavement, even if it seemed unnecessary. Or he’d touch Soohyun’s shoulder on variety shows, letting his hand linger. He would snuggle up next to him when the group relaxed together in the dorm.

Soohyun didn’t mind. It was kind of nice, he found, having someone that looked up to him. Now, more than before, he had someone in particular who he could always be himself around. Someone he could casually hug and joke with. Of course, he’d had that to a certain extent before; everyone in U-KISS was pretty comfortable with each other. But this felt closer, something like the way that Kevin and Eli were together. Best friends.

It had been a bad day. They had been rehearsing the choreography for their new song, ‘Neverland’, and everyone seemed to be having problems with it in one way or another. The choreographer had gotten annoyed at their lack of sufficient progress since the session yesterday, and called Soohyun out for not being able to suppress Kevin and Kiseop’s goofing off. The two of them seemed to be doing better with the dance so far, and Kevin was being a brat about it. Distracted by embarrassment from the scolding, Soohyun had made a wrong move and tripped into Dongho, who squealed in pain as he hit the floor and continually shot Soohyun dark looks for the next two hours. To make it worse, Soohyun seemed to have twisted his ankle slightly in the fall, and it hurt worse and worse throughout the session.

It was a relief when practice finally ended. Kevin suggested going out for supper, and had set off faithfully trailed by Eli, Kiseop, and Jaeseop; Soohyun rolling his eyes at the lovesick expression on the latter’s face. How did everything work out so well for Kevin, anyway? Naturally, Soohyun usually got along with him, but it was just irritating sometimes how well everything went for him. Everyone fell in love with him; the managers, the fans (ohhow the fans loved him), half the band as well. Why couldn’t things go as smoothly for Soohyun?

“Coming, hyung?” Eli called as the group headed out, interrupting Soohyun’s musings.

“Nah,” he replied, “I need to go home and get some rest.”

Eli nodded, shrugging, and exited with the rest.

Soohyun continued to think dark thoughts as he watched the choreographer finish packing up. Can he just leave already, so I can sit down and nurse my ankle in privacy?

He turned to him before he left, offering some encouraging words. “You worked hard today. Don’t worry, you’ll all get the dance down in time.”

Soohyun nodded, biting back the guilt that now flared up for thinking harshly about the teacher. He was under pressure, too; it was his job to scold the group and make sure they learned the routine.

Still, though, at least now Soohyun was alone. He leaned up against the wall, sliding down gingerly. He pulled off his shoe and sock with care. His ankle felt fine when he held it at some angles, but others were definitely painful. He massaged it gently, wincing.

He hoped he hadn’t made things worse by continuing to practice after he’d twisted it. The last thing he needed right now was an injury. He knew he should have said something when the accident occurred, but he didn’t want to lose face in front of the instructor, he couldn’t miss out on the practice… He let out a frustrated groan, leaning back against the wall and rubbing his eyes. He hated days like this.

Overall, he was a pretty happy person. Who wouldn’t be, in his position? He had a great group of friends, and a great job. He got paid to sing and dance and goof off on TV. He had worked hard to get here, and most of the time, he felt that he deserved it.

But once in a while he would have a bad day like this one, or he would miss too much sleep, or some comment would get to him. Depressed Soohyun would surface; the one that wanted to just lay down and admit that he wasn’t as good as everyone else, that it was only chance that had gotten him this far. Sometimes he had to just let the unhappy emotions wash over him, if only to let them out of his system for the time being.

“Hyung?”

Soohyun’s eyes snapped open. Hoon? Hadn’t he left with everyone else?

“Hey,” he responded, voice a little too gruff.

“I brought some ice for your ankle. It hurts, doesn’t it?”

Soohyun opened his mouth in surprise, then shut it again. He nodded reluctantly and Hoon approached, a damp towel in his hand, wrapped around what was undoubtedly ice cubes. Soohyun put out his hand for it, but Hoon didn’t notice; he was leaning down to place the ice against the side of the leader’s ankle. Soohyun hissed at the cold temperature against his skin.

“A bit lower and to the right,” he said, putting his hand on the towel.

“It’s alright, I’ll do it,” Hoon said. “Does it hurt a lot?” He looked up, concern in his eyes.

“Not too much. Just when I step on it at certain angles.”

“Move it gently so it doesn’t get stiff,” Hoon recommended, and Soohyun complied.

“Was it obvious that I hurt it?” he asked sheepishly. “I didn’t want anyone to notice. I was afraid that practice would be stopped if the choreographer had realized it.”

Hoon shook his head. “I didn’t notice until afterwards, when we were getting ready to leave. I saw you grimace when you put your foot down.”

“I hope no one else noticed.”

“I’m sure they didn’t,” Hoon assured him, adjusting the towel carefully. “I just saw because I was…”

“Because you were what?” Soohyun prompted when Hoon didn’t continue.

Hoon didn’t answer; he just concentrated on shifting the towel again, refolding an edge. Soohyun lowered his eyebrows, watching the man, but didn’t ask again.

He didn’t like Hoon seeing him like this, but it felt kind of comforting having the younger tend to him. Somehow, he didn’t feel like he had to put on a front and be strong for Hoon the way he did with some of the others. The younger wasn’t passing any sort of judgment; he just did what needed to be done to take care of his leader. He felt a wave of gratitude toward his friend.

“Thanks,” Soohyun muttered, embarrassed by his sentimentality.

Hoon looked up, his eyes searching Soohyun’s face for a long moment. Soohyun began to wonder what Hoon was finding there, but then his face spread into a wide smile as he replied.

“You’re welcome, hyung.”

The last notes of the song faded. Still lost in the music, Soohyun slowly opened his eyes and pulled the headphones off, his chest heaving slightly. He glanced through the window of the recording booth, where the member of staff gave him a thumbs-up. Soohyun nodded at her, but his eyes were drawn to Hoon, sitting beside her while waiting for his own turn.

Hoon was staring at him. Soohyun looked back, trying to interpret the expression on his face. He was looking at him like… like he was seeing something he couldn’t believe was real, like he was completely transfixed. Then he blinked, shook himself, and gave Soohyun a smile. Did it seem a bit forced? Soohyun couldn’t tell. He smiled back.

He exited the recording booth, exchanging places with Hoon. The day went on as normal, but he kept thinking back to that look. What did Hoon mean by it? What had he been staring at Soohyun like he was some kind of angel?

So far this has been Soohyun's point of view leading up to the kiss with Hoon. More of that in the next chapter as well as new plot.

Please let me know what you think! ^^