XLIX

“You’re coughing.”

It’s the first thing that Myungsoo notices, the first thing that his ears pick up on as they enter her room, him limping and her trying to support him with one hand while holding a first aid kit in the other.

“It’s fine, Myungsoo.”

He frowns. Her coughs are soft and subdue, and Myungsoo gets the feeling that she is trying to suppress them so that he does not worry.

“Sit,” she guides him to her bed, and he lowers himself painfully as she takes out cotton swabs and suspicious looking ointment. Myungsoo’s nose wrinkles as she settles herself beside him and opens a bottle of something-or-other.

“I need to call Tablo,” he suddenly remembers. She hands him her phone without further ado. He dials the Home’s number as Seohyun cleans off his blood with a fluffy towel. The mess that is his nose slowly clears up.

“Hello?” The voice at the end of the receiver is breathless and panicked.

“Jaejin?” Myungsoo breathes. “Jaejin-“

“Myungsoo?” The younger boy exhales in disbelief and relief. “Myungsoo, is that you? What the happen-“

“Language,” Myungsoo interrupts. He hears an impatient sigh from the other end. “We’re all crazy worried here and you care about my language?” Jaejin laughs incredulously. Myungsoo can hear him call over his shoulder, telling everyone that he has been found. “Tablo sent out a search party for you!”

“I’m fine,” Myungsoo says, “I’m- ow¬-“ He hisses as Seohyun presses the ointment-soaked cotton swab against the cut on his shoulder.

“Myungsoo?” Jaejin’s panicked voice sounds through the receiver.

“I’m okay,” Myungsoo says, gritting his teeth. “I met some of my former gang enemies. Got into a fight. With Seohyun now.” Short sentences are all he can manage, but Jaejin seems to have understood.

“Okay,” the boy exhales again. “Man, everyone’s ting in their pants. Those pictures were scary-“

“Language,” Myungsoo warns again. He hears Jaejin let out an exasperated growl. “I’ll be home soon, don’t worry.” The two exchange a few more words, and then Myungsoo hangs up.

He puts down the phone and sees Seohyun moving in with more ointment. He cringes and tries to get away from her. Seohyun’s face is a mixture of determination and amusement. She grabs onto his arm and prevents him from wriggling out of her grasp.

“You survived a beating up but you’re afraid of the sting of medicine?”

“That stuff is horrible,” Myungsoo doesn’t know that he is pouting.

“This stuff will heal you,” Seohyun says gently. “I’ll be careful.” She dabs softly at his gashes, blowing lightly at his wounds. Myungsoo has the sudden urge to hug her, but he abstains; he is filthy and sweaty and she is clean and fresh as a little lamb. He watches intently as she cleans him up. And this is where he notices that even in the dim light, she is uncharacteristically pale.

“Seohyun,” he begins.

“Hmm?” She murmurs a question, too absorbed in tending to his wounds.

“Are you feeling well?”

She pauses, hand resting lightly on his shoulder. He doesn’t miss how she is shivering, even though the night is balmy and wind is non-existent

“I’m fine,” she says, fingers going back to her dabbing.

“You’re pale,” he presses on. “And you’re coughing.”

“I’m fine, Myungsoo,” she says, her attempt at trying to sound strong failing as her body is racked with another round of coughs. He moves to pat her back, trying to ease the discomfort. “You-“ More coughing- “You’re the one who’s injured.”

“I’m fine,” Myungsoo insists, and she laughs at how he has unintentionally parroted her. They sink into comfortable silence before Seohyun voices a question.

“What happened?”

Myungsoo takes a deep breath. A part of him doesn’t want to tell his angel of the sin he has committed tonight, but the other bigger part wants to, to tell her, and seek her forgiveness.

“I met my old rival gang,” Myungsoo begins, pausing slightly as Seohyun takes his hand in his. “And they wanted revenge because I’d injured one of their members pretty badly in the past. So they beat me up. They took some pictures and sent them to the people in my contacts list.”

Seohyun must know that something else is wrong, because she turns so that she is looking directly at him. “And?”

Myungsoo is silent, trying to collect his wits. There is overwhelming guilt and sadness and a sliver of that same bloodthirstiness he felt during the fight. He tries to squash it.

“When I was fighting, I-“ He stares at Seohyun’s bed sheets, realizing that the pristine white is being stained by his blood. He tries to get up, but Seohyun makes a sound of protest and he stays. “I felt like I’d returned to how I was before the Home.”

She stays silent, because she knows that there is more to come.

“I joined Infinite because I loved picking fights, I loved feeling pride and a sense of belonging for something and I loved the feeling of fighting for it. I- I was ruthless back then, I would do anything to bring glory to my gang and my brothers. During the war, I stabbed the youngest member of Teen Top in the eye.” Myungsoo pauses, then corrects himself. “Eyes. He’s half blind now.

“I got caught, but I didn’t care much about it. School was pointless and all I wanted to do was feel the thrill of hurting people. When I got caught too many times to count, I was sent to Tablo. He made me see that my life was a meaningless one, that it was better to create than to destroy, to nurture rather that to hate. When I joined the Home, I promised myself that I would never go back to being that bloodthirsty creature I was.”

Seohyun reaches out to pull his head down onto her shoulder. She is bony and shorter than him, but he finds comfort in the position.

“But when I fought them just now, I felt it coming back—that ferocity and that desire to hurt people.” His fingers grip hers tighter. “It scares me. But then I thought of you and I got so guilty, so I just let them beat me up because I didn’t want to go back to being a monster. I didn’t want to hurt people anymore-”

There are bruises on his cheek and a cut on his lips, so she kisses the back of his palm instead.

“You’re different now,” She says with conviction. “You know you’re not a monster.”

He closes his eyes as she abandons all thought and wraps her arms around him. A little part of his brain picks up on how she seems to be all bones, and the worry begins to form like a little seed in the pit of his stomach.

“I’m dirty,” Myungsoo says. He is covered in blood and mud, but his words do not refer only to his soiled appearance.

“I don’t care,” Seohyun murmurs, burying her face into his good shoulder. And with that, he wraps his arms around her as well. It is quite a compromising position, but neither boy nor girl think anything else of it.

“I’m sorry,” he says, after a while. His eyes are downcast, still staring at her white bedsheets. “I won’t ever do it again.”

“Don’t,” she stops him from apologizing. Her fingers curl in his matted hair. To him, she looks like a beacon of hope, pure and calm and welcoming. And despite his injuries, made more pronounced by the shadows thrown around the room, he is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

“Everything’s okay.”

He believes her, and they fall asleep in each other’s embrace.

The first thing they see when they wake up is her father’s furious face.

--

Her father quite literally roars, flying across her room and pulling her off him. She lets out a gasp as she is extracted from his warmth.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Comes the father’s menancing question. Myungsoo sits up, hands suddenly feeling empty. His brain is desperately trying to come up with a response, but he has only just woken up, and the sudden loss of Seohyun from his arms has left him disorientated.

“We didn’t do anything, daddy,” Seohyun says. “We just slept-“ she stutters. “We were sleeping.” From the corner of his eye, Myungsoo can see her mother standing in the doorway.

“How did you get here?” Her father spits. The question is directed at Myungsoo, but Seohyun scrambles to answer.

“He was injured, I was tending to his wounds.”

“What is this, a hospital?” Her father’s face is red. “Who is he to you? Who is he to you that you have to look after him and let him sleep on your bed?”

Seohyun is about to open , but Myungsoo beats her to it.

“I am Seohyun’s boyfriend.” His brain seems to finally be working, so he stands up, doing his best to ignore the bloodstains on the white sheets, bowing to her father, then to her mother. “I’m sorry for having to meet you like this, but I am Seohyun’s boyfriend. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It is not nice to meet you,” her father protests immediately, ignoring Seohyun’s pleas to calm down. “Get out.”

Seohyun lets out a strangled cry, wrestling out of her father’s grip and running to Myungsoo. His arms catch her. She is trembling, and she doesn’t know if it is from the cold or from fear.

Her father is about to launch into another tirade, but is silenced when her mother calls out his name. He turns to look at her, incredulous. Her mother approaches them, lays a hand on her husband’s shoulder, before turning to her daughter.

“Myungsoo, is it?” He nods.

“I believe you when you say that you haven’t done anything inappropriate.” Seohyun’s mother glances at her. The look in her eyes is undiscernible, but anger and disappointment are not present in them.

“However, we will need some time to calm down. It isn’t every day you wake up to find your daughter sharing a bed with a boy.”

Myungsoo nods, swallowing nervously. His panic at being caught by her father has quelled somewhat, but the way her mother talks with calm and serenity makes him more jittery.

“I would like you to leave,” her mother says. Myungsoo nods again in understanding.

“Seohyun, see Myungsoo out.”

The girl hurries out of the door with Myungsoo, despite her father’s angered protests.

“I’m sorry,” they blurt out at the same time. They both stop short, eyes wide and staring at each other. They remain this way for a moment or two, before he reaches up and touches her cheek with his good arm. His shoulder is still sore, but he can barely feel it above the adrenaline and panic lacing through his veins.

“Don’t go,” she says suddenly, eyes beseeching. “Don’t leave me.”

He frowns, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. “I’m not leaving, I’m just going back to the Home to shower and change and let Tablo nag at me.” He attempts a chuckle. “I will never leave you.”

She inhales his scent, this time mixed with the sour smell of sweat and the faint metallic tang of dried blood.

“I’ll call you,” he promises. “As soon as I get back to the Home.” She nods into his shirt. She is crying silently, the events of the previous night and the subsequent morning proving too overwhelming for her. He wipes the tears away as best as he can, then places a kiss on her lips.

“I’ll be back soon.” He promises, before walking out the gate. She watches him leave. He turns back once, twice, thrice, until he is out of her street.

Seohyun clutches at her elbows. She is cold, even though the morning sun is shining strongly in the sky.

“He’ll be back,” she assures herself, walking back into her house. There is an ominous feel to it, and she steels herself for the interrogation ahead.

“He’ll be back,” she repeats again. The mantra keeps her sane as her father berates and yells and scolds.

--

Over the phone that night, Seohyun recounts the events to Myungsoo.

“He says that you’re a bad influence,” Seohyun murmurs over the phone. “That you’re dangerous.” She is feeling unusually tired, but she brushes it off. It has been a stressful day after all.

He isn’t far from the truth is what Myungsoo wants to say, but he shakes his head at that thought. He is a better person now, one capable of protecting and loving Seohyun.

“What else?” He presses.

“That I shouldn’t see you anymore.”

Myungsoo’s heart sinks.

“But then my mom invited you over for dinner.”

“Your mom- What?”

Myungsoo can feel Seohyun’s nervousness in her words. “My mom asks you to join us for dinner someday.”

“But your parents hardly eat dinner at home,” he points out. They are usually at work until late at night. It is how Seohyun manages to meet up with Myungsoo in the night.

“They’re planning a dinner especially for you,” she informs him. He gulps.

“Would you like to come?” She is hesitant, unsure. She doesn’t know if he thinks that she is worth the trouble.

“Of course.” His words catch her off guard. “I have to go impress your dad, don’t I? We got off on a bad start, I have to change things.”

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to, Seohyun,” he says, softly, tenderly. “I want to make your dad like me.”

She pauses, throat clogged up with emotion, before letting out a soft, heartfelt “thank you”.

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Sorry guys, I spent a hell lot of time figuring how to copy this chapter over from Word becuase suddenly the paste function stopped working. Thank you for reading!