Who am I?

I hide inside man and leave him when he dies. I go up or down depending on how he lived his life. Who am I?

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Cho Kyuhyun. I am Cho Kyuhyun. But where will I go? Neither way. I refuse to leave the Earth. I'll stay here. I'll stay in my sanctuary. The place where I first met him. seven years ago... fourteen years of age was I, innocence and fear still fresh in our minds. Grass was green, the sky was blue.. Water was crystal clear and on an occasional basis, deers would run by. I loved him. I still do. I see him. He's right there. I can almost touch him. But at the same time I can't. I yearn to wipe away his tears and tell him that it'll be alright.

"I miss you so much..." He sobbed in his hands.

I wanted to tell him I missed him too. I wanted to tell him that I love him. I wanted to tell him that he could stop now. It's been seven years. I wanted to tell him to move on. I wanted to tell him to find someone new. I wanted him to know that I was okay now... But... I'm not.

"You idiot! Come back!" He'd beg every time he'd visit.

He laid back and reached up for the clouds with half lidded eyes. My hand interlaced with his. But he didn't know that. Tears rolled from the corners of his eyes down to his ears. His lips curl into a smile.

"I miss you so much... I want to come up there with you..." He whispered.

I'm not up there yet...

"Remember when we found a bunny...?" He sobbed.

"Remember when I absolutely despised you?"

"Remember when... When we had our first kiss?"

Yes... I remember. Everything. My thumb brushed his cheek. But he didn't know that. I didn't want to see him in so much pain anymore. He cries himself until he has no strength to cry. He needs to stop. I need to leave. I need to go... But I can't...