To: Cherry Blossom

I must be a joke to you. No matter how much I wander around, weighting the possibilities, this is the only one that remains written on every page, and gets tangled between our sheets: you have seen me as a fool. I proudly tell you, You are right, my love. I am a fool. I think that as long as you hold my hand I will be able to bear this stamp for my entire life. Nevertheless, I do believe that 'fool' is already written all over my face. Is there another way for people to call a man who stays three hours in the middle of the lake, all wet, and writes a name on a piece of paper over and over again because the ink gets washed away? I don't think there is. What would you call me if you saw me? Stupid? Desperate? Crazy? I do believe these were the most frequent sweet words you directed towards me. Let me tell you what am I, my love. I am a man in love. A man who lost, and who doesn't know how to bear his lose like a man. Straightforwardly, as a man, I am telling you that I cannot bear this lose. I will find you. No matter what, I will find you. Even if the ink gets washed away tens of times, even if my tears fall over hundred of times because of the pain, even if my legs give up in tiredness thousand of times, I won't stop calling your name millions of times per day, untill you hear me. I am pathetic, I also know that. But you should have known - you, from all the people, should have known - that I don't give up easily. Hands, legs, strength, body, these all may give up on me, but as long as my heart continues beating, I won't give up on you. As for your worries, be at ease!, I talked with God - for the first time in my life - and He said that he doesn't need me. He said that they already had a devil in Heaven, and he learnt his lesson. Therefore, I decided to watch the lake from our white bench, today. I am such a good boy, aren't I? "You will kill yourself one of these days. That makes me afraid", that's what you said. Then I asked, "Are you still afraid of blood?", and you left. You said that you will pack your things and leave, that you can't cope with my craziness. "You need me more than God does", and you stayed. Probably, you knew it too. Well, since you and God are friends... Perhaps did you forget? Did you forget our love? Because I am sure that even if you forget me, you will never be able to forget our love. Never. Anyways, there's no fish in the lake today. Maybe because... it's so cold. My love.

6.35pm Wednesday, 5th March 2014. Email sent.

 To: Gray Puzzle

Never.

9.35pm Wednesday, 5th March 2014. Email sent.