A/N: Keep in mind, the original was just a draft and this is edited so a bit has been changed. If you're confused with determining the chronological order of things, feel free to ask.

Daehyun s his uniform, tosses it onto the bed where a single shirt is lying, note affixed to the collar.

Mission One: Buy Daedae a new shirt.

Complete.

Sorry again for shrinking the other one!

“Daedae?” Daehyun scoffs and tosses the note into the trash. He picks up the shirt, examines the details before pulling it over his head. It’s a little shocking, he finds, that Yongguk actually got him a replacement, but he doesn’t dwell on it and steps into the hall where his eyes lock with a pair he’d been careful to avoid. He is quick to look away, brushing past as coolly as he can manage.

“Do you mind putting everything away when you’re done? I’m gonna hang with Youngjae,” Jongup more tells than asks and surprisingly, Daehyun doesn’t retort. Jongup waves before slipping out the door and Daehyun rolls his eyes with the realization that he is now alone with him again. He lets the thought settle on the side as a very slight pang of jealousy hits him. This whole hanging out thing with Youngjae seems like it is becoming more frequent and a small part of Daehyun is beginning to worry that maybe he’s being replaced.

Yongguk watches from across the living room, inconspicuously glancing from behind curtained bangs, though it seems rather unnecessary seeing that the other is deep in thought. He sees the concern in Daehyun’s face and can’t help but figure that it has something to do with Jongup.

---

Daehyun turns on the faucet; steady rhythm of running water fills the room. A pair of hands accompanies his, picks up a plate to be washed. Daehyun glances up to find Yongguk practically looming, too close for comfort and his cheeks flush a light shade of pink, unable to pry his eyes away. Yongguk smirks and the pink deepens to crimson, arm grazing Daehyun’s to scoot closer. Instead, he backs away as the pot slips from Daehyun’s grip, water and soap splashing the latter.

He shakes his hands from foamy clumps, cussing the drenched splotches about when a towel unexpectedly sweeps across his cheek. Yongguk rounds his chin and under the disconcerting stare he doesn’t need to see to feel, he pokes Daehyun’s nose lightly, another smirk finding its way across his lips. Daehyun’s throat tightens as he attempts at diverting his focus. That smirk. Daehyun composes himself long enough to flee the kitchen, finding refuge in his room and his bed although fairly cluttered, beckons with a sense of security. He sighs into the night, getting lost in the ceiling.

That smirk. It was one of his favorite things about Yongguk. That smirk he couldn’t deny, even when he wasn’t ‘in the mood.’ It was the same smirk he had seen the day his world fell apart.

Yongguk has been off as of late and Daehyun was beginning to fear that perhaps the spark they once had was inevitably burning out. Their daily rendezvous depleted to monthly ones. Their weekly dates became sporadic. Phone calls every night had ceased. Even texts were rare.

When they were together, Yongguk seemed aloof, getting easily distracted – and excited – when something or someone else came into the picture. He would usually be preoccupied, either on his phone or something of the like. Talking was seldom, flirting even less, cuddling extinct, and kisses a thing of the past. It came to a point where Daehyun was content with Yongguk just being there, even if he really didn’t want to be. Their relationship was dwindling, Daehyun’s heart quietly breaking.

Every night Jongup had to see Daehyun force a smile, pretending everything was okay, but he knew. The shine in Daehyun’s eyes was gone. The façade he was hiding behind was gradually cracking and Jongup wasn’t sure if he was ready to deal with the reality about to surface.

*

“Do you really think it’s worth staying in this relationship?”

Daehyun takes a moment to think, a very small part of him wanted to say no.

“Y-yeah,” he stutters in response. Jongup twists the cup between his fingers in disapproval. “I know there’s more than you lead on. You don’t have to tell me the details. I just don’t like seeing you like this.” Daehyun knows what he means, but asks anyway, “Like what?”

“I can see through your smile. Come on, you’re walking around like a zombie. It’s eating you alive and denying it isn’t going to save whatever is left of your relationship.”

Daehyun shakes his head; he doesn’t want to hear any more. He’s had enough of this. No more talking. No more dissecting. No more. He wants to believe what he’s been telling himself all along, that this relationship – the thing he and Yongguk have built together, that they’ve lived and loved for – is not a lost cause. That it wasn’t for nothing.

His eyes seal in silent frustration as his breath quickens in strained huffs against the storm ripping through his skull, typhoons raging against an already battered heart. His voice breaks through the turmoil, glare shooting across the room. “How can you say that? You don’t even know him and apparently you don’t know me either. Do you know what we’ve been through? Do you know that he’s the only person who knows me, the real me? He’s been there when no one else was. You don’t know anything.”

Jongup minimizes the space between them, keeps calm as he nears his friend. It takes a moment for him to speak, unsure if doing so will help, “What about me? You're saying that I don't know you? That I wasn't here for you?"

Daehyun softens, an apologetic look crosses his face, "I'm sorry I didn't mean that you weren't. I just...meant that you don't know what we had, how good he was."

"Exactly, it's what you had. And you’re right. I don’t know any of that, of how good it was, but I do know that you’re hurting. And I know that you’re holding onto what you used to have. I know you’re fighting so hard for something that isn’t what you think it is anymore. And I know that you come home every night and cry yourself to sleep and I’ve never brought it up because I can’t inflict any more pain than you’re already going through. So forgive me for wanting better for you. You don’t deserve this, Dae.”

There is little anger left in Daehyun’s eyes, Jongup’s words falling heavy on his shoulders. Jongup lifts a hand to rest on the elder’s bicep, but gets shrugged off.

“Dae, I-”

Daehyun interjects, “No, you don’t know,” and shakes his head, stare set on the floor. “You don’t know how it’s tearing me apart inside not being able to see him. How every rejected call, unanswered text, cancelled date is another slap to my face. You don’t know,” Daehyun trails off, quivering chords suffocating in an overwhelmed throat, fighting back what’s been harbored for too long. He a sharp breath in and finishes, “How it is to have the one person you care about more than anything else, throw you away.” Tears begin welling up in hopeless eyes, streams down his cheeks and into splattered pools. “You don’t know how it’s killing me that he won’t even look at me anymore.” 

Daehyun breaks down – the outside finally reflecting the inside, spilling out in a cohesive mess. Ire burns deep within Jongup. He’s seldom provoked to this point and it makes him uncomfortable as a mix of blind animosity and sympathy surge through him. He, too, has been suffering all the while, never being able to protect his friend from himself. Jongup drops to the floor and takes the other into his arms, letting cries of pain run its course.

*

Once melded hands conforming to one another with digits laced in uniformed complacency are now parted with emptiness to fill the void between longing fingers. Messages that crowded an inbox presenting the owner with sweet nothings have long but stopped, the saved ones rotting in technological space. Unspoiled unity has transferred to silence in the form of unacknowledged presences.

Daehyun patiently waits, never asking for more than the other is willing to comply with. He always accepts what little he is given and has come to terms with their new lifestyle, however disheartening it may be.

*

Daehyun glances eagerly at his watch, practically throws his apron onto the rack in the back room before flying out the door. He has been planning on surprising Yongguk for his birthday for a while and it’s been far too long since he’s had butterflies tickle his insides like they’re doing so now. He imagines Yongguk’s face, remembers the smile he misses and hopes that this is enough to bring it back.

Excitedly he enters the other’s house, clutches something small behind his back. It isn’t anything extravagant and he knows it doesn’t amount to much, but a lot of effort went into this gift and he hopes that Yongguk – his Yongguk – will appreciate it nonetheless. Daehyun doesn’t care about all the crap. He doesn’t mind dealing with any of it. All Daehyun wants, needs, is to know that Yongguk is still in this with him.

His grip compresses around the gift just the slightest as he looks around and when it seems as though no one is home, a husky laugh echoes from above. As he makes his way up, Daehyun remembers the reasons he fell for Yongguk in the first place and reestablishes his wavering confidence that he will remain by the elder’s side