If there ever comes a day

When we can’t be together,

Keep me in your heart forever.

Kim Myungsoo POV

Every time I see you, I clench onto my throbbing heart. It’s continuously waiting for you to forgive me, its waiting for you to love me back. It can only wait so long.

I watched you as you smiled happily, stretching yourself from the days work; I wished I could smile that bright after everything that had happened. The way your face twitches before you smile, the way your eyes narrow, I love it.

She, who is emotionally strong and that was one thing I loved about her. If I was in her position right now, I wouldn’t dare smile. I loved the way she smiled, I love the way she can melt my heart with just one look, I love the way her hair flies in the wind, and I love her personality the most out of everything because appearances can be deceiving. Personality comes straight from the heart.

But I’ve done an unforgivable thing, I played with her heart. I made her suffer; I made her believe that what I had once said was true. I gave her hope, I gave her faith and I gave her fake love.

I realize now how it feels to be heartbroken, to be hated by someone that you love. I finally understand that love can’t be played with or something bad will come back and eat you up.

Well that’s what happened to me. I guess I really deserved all this, everything I did to make her suffer.

 

“Haeun” I called as I saw her exit an accessory shop.

She ignored my call and continued walking.

“Kwon Haeun” I called again louder.

She swivelled around as her hair flew in the wind. The sunlight hitting her hair at the right angle, making it shine.

“What?!” her reply was harsh.

“Can we hang out?” the only words that could come out of my mouth.

“I’m busy” she replied as she began walking once again.

The feeling of rejection hurts. All I knew was that she was lying and she was trying to get away from me. But I didn’t want that to happen.

 

Just disappear

Just back off…

 

“Haeun” I called once again, catching her attention.

“What now?” She said as she crossed her arms.

“Give me a chance” I said.

“You expect me to give you a chance?” Haeun said as she scoffed.

“Please” I begged.

“Never” she replied as she shook her head and ran off. I could see it, she was going to cry.

Her eyes, it showed sadness. Her eyes weren’t shining it was cold and black. The way she looked at me, that look I hate it.

I began my on my way home, small steps was all I took. Everything was weighing down on my shoulders, slowing me down.

 

I walked to a café that I always went to each week. They served the best coffee. I entered and scanned the café. My eyes landed on Haeun and I couldn’t help but stare. She was with someone, a guy to be exact.

She was laughing and smiling. I still remember it like yesterday, that time when she was smiling at me. The first time we kissed, the first time we hugged, I could still feel it; I could still hear her giggle.

The guy left to go somewhere and she was left alone. I took the only chance I had.

I walked over to her table and sat next to her trapping her between the wall and myself. She turned to look at me before she stood up.

“Move” She said as she tried to push me away.

“No, I want to talk” I replied as I pushed her back down on the seat.

“I have nothing to talk about” she whispered as she stood up once again.

But I did not dare move.

“Move” She said as she nearly screamed.

“Promise me first” I said to her.

“Promise you what?” she asked harshly.

“Promise me that you will come back here tomorrow at 10” I said.

Haeun nodded her head and she left the café in an instant.

I ordered my coffee and stared at the spot where she had just sat on. Her scent was still lingering in the air. I could smell it, and it was driving me nuts. I want to embrace her.

 

I arrived at the café once again, I waited for her. Minutes soon turned into hours. She was nowhere to be seen. I grabbed my phone scrolling through the contacts until I found her name.

 

To: Haeun

Why aren’t you here? You promised.

 

The reply was almost instant.

 

To: Myungsoo

Promises are meant to be broken.

 

I sat there bewildered.

“Mr are you okay” a waiter asked.

I looked at her and realized that I had been making a weird face for some time.

“Ah yes” I replied as I got up to pay for my morning coffee.

 

I sat at the steps of my house. Gazing at the horizon in front, although there wasn’t much to see as there were only houses, bins and cars.

“Hey buddy” someone called.

“Hey hoya” I replied.

“Why the look?” Hoya asked.

“What look?” I asked as I broke into a smile.

“Never mind” Hoya chuckled. “How’s Haeun?”

I froze.

“Um, its fine” I replied as convincing as I could.

“I’m sorry” Hoya replied.

It didn’t seem like Hoya had bought it. He knew everything about me; he knew when I was lying.

“I shouldn’t have made you do that dare”

“Nah, it’s over. The past is the past” I said, I couldn’t help but feel sad.

“Well I’ve got to go” Hoya said as he patted my back before turning to leave.

A tear slid down my cheek. I couldn’t help it.

 

Haeun POV

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal

Sometimes you can’t always see,

The pain someone feels.

 

I remember the day I found out I was just a dare; it felt like yesterday, Myungsoo had used me in a dare. If he had told me from the beginning I wouldn’t have fallen for him. He even took my very first kiss that I wanted to save for someone special.

I entered the accessory shop, keychains, charms and bracelets were everywhere. I slid my fingers on the glass. There were a couple bracelets, one of the couple bracelet caught my eye, it was the one Myungsoo had given me. Tears were threatening to fall, but I knew I couldn’t. I just had to wait until I got home.

 

My two stories
My hot and cold times
They’re both memories that you gave to me

 

I exited the shop, my pace was slow. My thoughts went wild, just thinking about Myungsoo made me mad.

“Haeun” someone called.

I knew that voice too well; I knew it well enough not to turn around. I wasn’t ready to face him. Not now, not yet.

“Kwon Haeun” he called again.

I quickly wiped away a tear that had unconsciously slid down my face as I turned around, looking at him with cold eyes.

“What?!” I said harshly.

My tone was harsh, but he deserved it, he deserved the pain, the pain that he had given me.

“Can we hang out?” was his reply.

I couldn’t believe that he had that much courage.

 “I’m busy” I replied, although I definitely wasn’t.

I turned around, about to run off when he called me once again.

“Haeun” he called.

“What now” I said as I crossed my arms.

“Give me a chance” he said.

“You expect me to give you a chance?” I said as I scoffed loudly. He expects me to do that, when I’ve given him too many.

“Please” He somewhat begged.

Wow, the Kim myungsoo begs now.

“Never” I replied, but my voice breaks off before running off.

Tears now streamed down my face, sliding down my cold cheeks.

 

Your voice breaks off

Your tears that slowly build up and fall over.

 

I rounded a corner before I crouched down and covered my face in my arms. I couldn’t wait til I got home.

 

It was dark when I started to walk home; my eyes were red and puffy from all the crying. If he hadn’t shown up, I would have made it; I would have got home before I started crying.

“Why’s a pretty lady walking alone” someone called.

I froze, all I knew was that trouble was on the way.

“Aw, your eyes are red, want me to comfort you?” another asked.

“No” I replied harshly as I tried to get out of their circle. There were 4 of them altogether. A girl like me could never get away from them.

One of them touched my face, wiping away the new tears that had started sliding down my cheek.

“Let me go” I screamed.

The first one started to touch me inappropriately, I slapped his hand away, but with that another hand came to replace the first.

“Great body. Don’t hide it under that baggy shirt”

In a second my shirt was torn and was lying on the floor. I was in my t-shirt. I felt the cold air piercing through my skin.

“Please, let me go” I begged.

Two of them held onto my arms as they pulled my shirt upwards exposing my bra. His hands brushed against it and I froze.

“Ooh, we can have some fun tonight”

“YAH, LET ME GO” I said as I screamed and kicked as they carried me bridal style.

“Let her go” someone screamed and the person who was holding me got kicked in the face, dropping me in the process.

I winced in pain as I fell onto the hard concrete.

Before long the men were all down, the stranger pulled me up and dragged me away. He pushed me into a familiar car; I looked at the stranger who was getting into the driver’s seat.

“Woohyun oppa?” I said as I let tears drip down my face.

“Haeun, it’s okay now. I’m here” Woohyun said as he leaned over to hug me, my tears wetting his shirt.

Upon arriving home, I took a glance at his shirt.

“Mian, about your shirt” I whispered.

“No, it’s okay” Woohyun said.  “Oh, tomorrow are you busy?”

“Ani” I replied.

“I’ll treat you to hot chocolate tomorrow at the café” Woohyun said as I got out of the car.

I nodded my head before I waved goodbye.

 

I sat at the café, I constantly checked the time. Although he didn’t give me any details I knew exactly what time and where. We always come here.

As I saw him entering the cafe, I waved my hands.

“Woohyun oppa” I said.

He smiled as he approached the table.

“I’ll get your coffee” I said as I smiled.

“Ani, I told you I was going to treat you” Woohyun said as he shook his head.

“But, I want to thank you for last night” I whispered.

“No need” Woohyun said as he got up to pay.

He came back with hot chocolate and coffee.

I made a face as I smelled the coffee.

“Coffee is so bitter. How can you drink that?” I said as I wrinkled up my nose.

“Hot chocolate is so sweet. How can you drink that?” He said in the same tone.

“oppa” I yelled.

“What? It is true” I said as he touched the tip of my nose.

I drank some of my hot chocolate, when Woohyun leaned over and wiped away some foam that had gotten onto my lips.

I blushed; I frowned as I remembered that Myungsoo used to always do that. He would always smirk his famous smirk at me.

I smiled again as I saw him look at me worriedly.

We had a great time, telling each other jokes, although half of it wasn’t even funny. Telling each other stories where we were constantly shushed by the waiter. It was a blissful morning.

Woohyuns phone vibrated on the table. He looked at it and shrugged.

“Aren’t you going to get that?” I asked.

“oh, okay. If you want me to” Woohyun said as he picked up the call.

I heard bits of the conversation.

“WHAT?!”

“How?”

“Alright, I’ll be right there”

“Yes, in about 5 minutes”

“café”

“Okay bye”

He ended the call and sighed heavily, smiled at me before telling me that he had to go.

“Ani, its okay” I smiled.

I was in a complete daze; the thought of woohyun bought a smile to my face. He could make me smile and saved me when I was in trouble.

I suddenly heard the shuffling of feet. I tilted my head to the side. Myungsoo had sat next to me. He ruined my wonderful morning, although my heart was beating and pounding against my chest just from the sight of him. It took all of my courage to stand up and frown.

“Move” I said as I tried to push him off the chair.

“No, I want to talk” he replied as I sat firmly in his seat.

“I have nothing to talk about” I replied.

“Promise me first” He suddenly requested.

“Promise you what?” I asked harshly. I was getting impatient.

“Promise me that you will come back here tomorrow at 10” he stated.

I nodded my head, not bothering to process what he had just said to me.

 

Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life,

The whole aim of life and end of human existence.

 

Walking along the footpath, I remembered the scene from last night, which taught me not to walk alone especially at night. I quickened my pace as I was afraid that the men from last night would come back and look for me.

I sighed in relief when I saw my house in the distance. But I stopped in my steps as I saw that the front door was wide open. Omma wouldn’t be that careless to leave the door wide open. I carefully entered the house.

“Hello?” I called nervously.

I checked every room, until I found omma sitting in a corner crying in the master bedroom.

“omma” I said as I rushed over to her. “What happened?”

“He came back” omma whispered.

He as in my appa. My abusive father, actually I can’t even call him my father anymore. He had done so many bad things; I can never forgive him for that.

“He broke into the house, while I was out. When I came back he was still here sitting on the couch. It was as if he was waiting for one of us to come home” omma started as she began sobbing again. “But it’s good that you didn’t walk in first”

I looked at her; her arm was full of bruises from his beating. There was a huge cut on her arm, blood was slowly oozing out. This showed that he had had a knife.

I hated him; I don’t know why he changed, why he did all this.

I gave her hug her back, like how she comforted me when I cry.

I lay down beside omma. Everything was spinning in my head from all the problems and situations.

 

My heart confused and intertwined,

I can’t sleep.

 

The next morning, I woke next to omma. She was still asleep. I decided to make her breakfast so that she could feel better. I began making waffles, her absolute favourite.

With the finished dish I walked into the bedroom and woke omma up.

“Omma, I made you breakfast” I said happily as I showed her the plate of waffles.

“Sweetie, you didn’t have to” omma said as she shook her head, but nonetheless smiled.

My phone vibrated on the bedside table. It was a message. My heart pounded hard against my chest as I read the name of the sender: Myungsoo. It’s been a while since I’ve received a call or text from him, maybe a bit too long.

 

To Haeun
Why aren’t you here? You promised.

 

I sent a message back to him. I had actually forgotten about the meet up. It’s not like it would have been wise to go anyway as I’m meant to be staying away from, far away from him. But knowing myself, it was a challenge to do so.

 

To: Myungsoo

Promises are meant to be broken.

 

From there, he didn’t reply back. I didn’t send another message and left it as that. Although I felt a bit sorry for making him wait at the café for so long.

 

Days turned into months. It felt like years since I’ve last seen Myungsoo. I still hated how he treated me, but I couldn’t get him out of my head. He was there every second.

I sighed; I wore my summer dress that reached above by knees. I wore my sunhat and went outside. I walked to the playground.

I know I’m probably too old for that, but I just need time to think. I need time to forget things for a while. Even if it was for just an hour, it was more than enough.

I sat on one of the swings, swinging myself higher and higher. The wind brushed against my face. But as I went up, my hat flew off, flying away. I immediately got off the swing and began to find my hat.

“Is this yours?” someone called.

I looked at the hat and smiled.

“Thankyou” I said as I grabbed the hat and walked off.

“Have you already forgotten who I am?” the person asked.

I noticed that I didn’t look at the person who had picked up my sunhat. This time I looked up again. It was Myungsoo. I frowned.

“I’m sorry I don’t remember” I lied. “I got into a car crash months back, and the doctor said I had forgotten some things”

I shrugged my shoulders as I walked over to the swing once again, trapping my hat between my thighs.

He stood in front of me and grabbed my face in his hands. Making me face him, his face was too close for my comfort zone.

“Have you really forgotten me, or are you lying” Myungsoo said as he looked into my eyes.

Uncomfortable, I pulled his hands away from my face and looked down.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” I whispered.

“You whisper when you’re not telling me something” Myungsoo said as he narrowed his eyes at me. “Don’t forget that I know you very well”

“I really don’t know you” I finally screamed.

“I was talking to your mum before, I don’t recall her saying anything about an accident” Myungsoo said as he began to think.

I bit my bottom lip. He was too smart to lie to. Even if no-one told him, he would always know. He just has that special 6^th sense.

“I don’t want to talk to you. Leave now” I said as started swinging.

“you just admitted that you lied” Myungsoo said as he too sat on the swing.

“Okay fine, I remember everything okay. I remember how I was only a game to you. Do you remember that?” I shouted and looked down.

“I told you, that everything I had said that was the truth” Myungsoo said as he looked at me.

“You expect me to believe that. After you’ve lied to me countless times? No, I don’t want to talk to you anymore. All you’ve done is made me suffer okay? I don’t think you deserve to talk to me” I shouted as I got off the swing began walking away.

I had to leave now. Tears were b the corner of my eyes as I tried to get home as fast as I could.

“Haeun” Myungsoo said as he grabbed onto my shoulders and turned me around.

“Hear me out for once” Myungsoo said.

“Let me go” I said as stood there looking down, hiding my tears that slid down my cheeks.

“No, listen to me first” Myungsoo said, his eyes looked straight through me.

“I said no” I screamed as I tried to peel his hands off of my shoulder.

He held onto my shoulders for a while before he leaned to hug me.

 

I hold you with my chest

And stay there for a very long time

 

“I love you” Myungsoo finally stated.       

 

My empty eyes

Two lips that are at a loss for words

 

It took all my courage to look him straight in the eye.

“Bull”